That same day
Duncan slung his arm around my shoulders at the shrill sound of the school bell, and for the first time in weeks I indulged in the feeling; the heat radiating off of him, the scent of lavender and cigarettes surrounding him, the weight of his body pressed against mine. I loved all of it. I loved him.
And he loved me.
"You're folks home?" he asked as we stopped in front of my locker, letting me pull the needed material for English class out of it.
"Probably not", I shrugged, a knowing smile on my lips as his eyes glinted of mischief and unspoken promises of making up for lost time.
"Then how about", his hands on my hips, his lips on my neck, "I give you a ride home." It wasn't a question, we both knew the answer.
Duncan waited in the parking lot after school, leaning against his motorcycle with a cigarette in his hand, huddled together in a wonky circle with our friends. I slipped into the group next to DJ and Duncan with a happy 'Hi, guys'. The tension that had filled our intimate group for the past couple of weeks whenever Duncan and I were in close proximity to each other had finally dissipated.
Bridgette's look of worry got replaced with one of questioning as Duncan wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close to his side, all while he still talked with Geoff like nothing had happened. It wasn't long before realization hit her, her eyes growing wide and an audible gasp of surprise - and, what I could only hope was, happiness - escaping her mouth.
"You're back together!" she exclaimed excitedly, stopping the boys conversation dead in its tracks, before realizing what she had just let slip; covering her mouth with her hands as if the previous words would be unheard by the action. "I'm sorry", she murmured behind her hands.
"No, it's fine", I smiled, Duncan holding tight to the side of my waist, a proud, smug grin on his face as he took one last drag from the cigarette before flicking it away over his shoulder.
"I knew you'd work it out", DJ announced with a slight chuckle, offering up a high-five to the both of us.
"Uhm, yeah, thanks man", Duncan answered surprised as he met the other boys hand before it was offered to me.
"So you did know?" I asked as I accepted the high five too.
"You ain't exactly subtle." I looked at Duncan who's smirk was still present and we both shrugged our shoulders in defeat; we knew DJ was probably right.
"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What?" Geoff stammered, his mouth hanging open and an unsteady finger wandering between all four of us. He asked loudly how he hadn't known, crossing his arms over his chest defiantly in dislike of being the last one to find out such a thing.
"Aw, Bridg, you kept a secret", I pouted happily, slipping out of Duncan's arms to instead embrace my best friend. I whispered a quick 'thank you' before stepping back to my place beside Duncan, letting my head rest against his chest as he wrapped an arm around my waist again and pulled me back in and it felt right.
We felt right.
Weird, yes, but so fucking right.
I raced up the steps as soon as the front door shut behind us and a giggling squeal escaped me as Duncan caught up with me halfway up the stairs, wrapping his arms around my waist and peppering kisses along the side of my neck; I could feel the smile on his lips against my skin and it made the smile on my own face grow even bigger.
Somehow we made it upstairs, into my room and onto my bed. Clothes laid spread across the floor and only the thin layers of our underwear separated us. Duncan's hands wandered up and down my back, his mouth latched onto the exposed skin of my collarbones, my hands in his hair and my legs wrapped around his waist as I sat atop straddling him.
"I've missed this", he murmured against my neck, his tongue flicking across the patch of skin he had just seconds before bitten down onto, "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too", I confessed back, gasping as he spread his palms across my cheeks, giving my bottom a proper squeeze that made me grind against his hips. He chuckled as his mouth moved higher, teasing my earlobe with his tongue and placing small kisses just underneath it, all while his hands continued to grasp and grip my ass.
Duncan's lips finally found their way back to mine and I couldn't help but press closer, closer, closer. I needed to feel him, all of him. It had been way too long.
I rocked my hips once more and matching moans escaped our throats, our breathing heavy as we rested our foreheads against each other, our lips barely touching. "Please, Duncan", I heard myself whisper, cupping his face in my hands as I pressed a soft kiss to the tip of his nose.
"Please what, princess?"
"I need you to fuck me", I breathed so quiet I could barely hear it myself, but the smirk forming on Duncan's lips told me he had.
He lowered us down onto the mattress, my legs still wrapped tightly around him, as one of his hands explored its way down my body. He caressed the freckles and birthmarks that spotted my skin, cupped a breast carefully, gripped at my waist, before ultimately snaking his fingers down the front of my underwear.
The pads of Duncan's fingers massaged my clit, circling it and teasing my aching center with his digits in a way that drove me crazy; never fully dipping inside and only ever brush across the sweet bundle of nerves, never pressing down hard enough to satisfy the pulsing lust rushing through my veins. He had me balancing on the edge of bliss.
Somewhere in the midst of everything I was flipped over, my stomach and chest pressing down into the mattress as Duncan's body hovered above me. He outlined the muscles of my back, drawing patterns between the freckles, before withdrawing a hand only to have it come slapping down on my ass. I couldn't help but moan at the sensation, the pain mixed with pleasure was astounding, and he used it to his advantage. Kisses, bites and licks were distributed across my neck and back, only to be interrupted by sharp slaps and squeezes to my bottom.
"You like that, don't you?" Duncan growled as he massaged my cheeks, one hand pressing on my back, holding me in place, and my answer got lost somewhere in the pillows I had buried my face in, only a muffled sound of agreement escaping into the room.
His fingers slipped under the now soaked fabric covering my sex, easily entering two fingers inside, pressing against that sweet spot buried somewhere deep within. He pulled the underwear off with his free hand and I felt how he wriggled on the bed behind me as he, quite clumsily, stepped out of his boxers as well without stopping the movement of his fingers.
I could feel him hover above me, his erection grazing my thigh with every breath, and he pushed my hair away from my neck gently, letting it cascade down my shoulder and cover my face instead.
"You drive me crazy, princess", Duncan admitted with his lips pressed against my right scapula and it was all it took to finally push me over the edge. I gripped the edges of the pillow I had buried my face in hard, screaming my pleasure out into it as I rode out the climax to its fullest, his fingers only seizing their movements once my body relaxed and my screams and moans had turned to deep, even breaths.
I turned my head to look at him, a smile spreading across my face as my eyes locked with his. It wasn't long after that Duncan lifted my hips from the bed and pushed himself deep inside my center. His hips collided with mine and we both let out loud moans at the feeling we had missed so much.
I watched him from over my shoulder as the pleasure morphed the features of his face. His hands gripped at my hips harsh, fingers digging into my bones, and I knew I would be bruised in the morning. But it didn't matter, because it felt amazing.
"Fuck", Duncan hissed, wrapping a hand in my hair and tugging just enough for it to hurt. "Come here." I raised myself on shaky arms, his grip in my hair guiding me back until my back pressed against his chest.
"God", I moaned as his lips descended onto my neck, biting and kissing at all the right spots, and the hand previously in my hair snaked around my body to hold me close. I lifted my arms and let my fingers entangle themselves in his mohawk, fisting and tugging at strands of hair as my pleasure built.
"Courtney", he grunted against my skin, "I'm so close, baby." I couldn't help but groan at his words, the admission turning me on more than I would care to admit.
"Duncan", I whispered back, arching against him as I felt him twitch inside of me, rocking my hips hard against his, helping him over the edge the best I could.
He held me close as he came, biting down at the juncture of my neck as he did and I pushed a hand down to my clit; wanting, needing, to fall into bliss together.
"God", Duncan breathed as we collapsed on my bed, "I've missed you."
"I missed you too", I said and wrapped my arms around his middle, leaning my head against his chest.
I fell asleep to the beating of his heart.
The following day
Duncan had spent the night at my house, sharing my bed for the first time in so long. Too long. I knew our time apart was mostly my fault, and that knowledge hurt. He had let me cling to his chest and bury my head into his side as slow, silent tears left my eyes. He had stroked my hair comfortingly and listened to my mumbled apologies.
We spent the weekend in bed, only getting out of the warmth of the covers for food and bathroom breaks. We'd made sandwiches and laughed through bites as we sat with our backs to the wall, our feet dangling off the edge of the bed. We hid from my parents as they avoided each other by checking up on me. The way I shoved him into the closet or the way he rolled under the bed reminded me of a cheesy rom-com, but I couldn't help the way my heart raced at the prospect of being caught and the adrenaline rushing through my body made me jump Duncan at every opportunity.
By the time Monday rolled around we were spent and I had to bribe Duncan to even get up and out of bed. People had whispered as I jumped off his motorcycle that morning, shaking my hair out after taking the helmet off, and he slung his arm around my shoulder as he led us inside. A proud smile on his face the entire time.
But, of course, we couldn't get through the day without interruptions.
The library was mostly empty during lunch, providing the perfect makeout spot for Duncan and I. He had me pushed against a shelf in the far back, a few books fallen to the ground at the impact, with my hands in his hair and his tongue in my mouth. I moaned softly as he gripped the back of my thighs and my legs closed around his hips.
"Would you look at that", a sudden voice demanded our attention. We both jumped at the interruption and I slid down his body to stand on my own. "Looks like someone's lowered his standards."
"Go away, Heather", Duncan deadpanned, an arm sliding protectively around my waist, pulling me close to his side.
"When will you learn I do what I want?" She took a few steps closer, her gaze never even straying in my direction. A wicked smile crossed her lips as she traced a perfectly manicured nail along his jawline. "I am quite hurt you forgot about our date."
"We didn't have a date", Duncan said as he narrowed his eyes.
"Then what would you call the little rendezvous we've had since Halloween?" I could see him clenching and unclenching his jaw and felt his grip on my hip tightening, as if he was afraid I would run.
"Oh would you back off already", I jumped in. The former flirtatious expression on Heather's face turning into a scowl as she looked down at me.
"Are you deaf?" she questioned and crossed her arms over her chest, "I said, I do what I want."
"Yes, I heard you, but the simple matter-of-fact is, I don't care."
Heather pursed her lips and bent down to whisper in my ear, "Have fun with my sloppy seconds." She turned to walk away, the snide look on her face telling she thought she'd won.
"Heather", I called out, determined to knock her off the pedestal she'd put herself on. She looked over her shoulder at me, as if she was too good to face me. "Why am I such a competition to you?"
"Believe me", she sneered, "You are not competition."
"But I am", I stated, stepping out of Duncan's embrace to close the space between Heather and I, "You've been on my ass since the minute you found out I was involved with Duncan, threatening to expose our relationship yet never actually go through with it. You're just insecure someone decided they didn't want you, that someone chose to walk away and find someone else - maybe not someone better, but someone that wasn't you."
"Are you not remembering I was the one that dumped him?" Heather spat, finally turning around to face me.
"Maybe so", I shrugged, "doesn't change the fact he loves me, something I know was never even on the table with you two."
"Oh, he loved the things I did to him alright."
"Heather." I wouldn't let her win. Not this time. Not when things were finally good. "If you come near either of us, if you even so much as utter a word about us to try and destroy us and break us up again, believe me when I say you will be graduating from a hospital bed. Got it?"
The fear that flickered in her eyes got quickly covered as she turned her nose up in an effort to appear fiercer than she really was. Heather was like a dog; all bark and no bite.
"Whatever", she finally said and walked away, out of the library and hopefully out of our lives.
"That was so hot." Duncan's hands and mouth were on me in seconds and I soon found myself with me legs wrapped around his waist and his hand down the front of my jeans.
Sometime after Christmas
Duncan meeting my parents for the first time was something we both dreaded. I knew how high my parents standards were, how Duncan fit none of the criteria they had set for my future partner. But he made me happy, and I knew that even though we might not make it out in the end, the present was important too. He kept me down to earth, soothed me when I got in my own head and stressed over things not worth stressing over, took me out to places and introduced me to people I never would've met without him.
It didn't matter that my mother huffed with disgust at his piercings covering his face and the colorful mohawk atop his head, it didn't matter that my father pulled Duncan aside to threaten him into treating me right; he was mine and he wasn't going anywhere. And as time went on he grew on them. My father appreciated his sense of business and integrity, my mother loved the way he treated me, the way he looked at me when I didn't notice.
Meeting Duncan's parents wasn't as awkward as the dinner with mine had been. His mother is the sweetest woman alive, telling me stories about Duncan as a kid, unknowingly embarrassing him, much to my amusement. He would groan and turn red as she went on and on about all the shenanigans he'd gotten into when younger; that time he climbed a tree and was too scared to get back down, the time he denied eating all the blueberries his mom had saved for a pie with purple lips and a matching tongue, the time he refused to wear pants for an entire week because the weather was too hot.
Jonas had a grin on his face the entire evening, throwing innuendos about Duncan and I's little 'sleepover' every chance he got, and Max would pester Duncan about getting 'cooties' now that he had a girlfriend.
Seven months after Halloween
"Dudes, dudettes", Geoff said as he sat down at the lunch table with Bridgette following soon after. He eyed Duncan, DJ and I seriously and clasped his hands together. "In a week, we graduate", he started, and I rolled my eyes as Duncan chuckled next to me; we all knew where this was going. "And you only graduate once. Therefore", he paused dramatically before throwing his arms out open, "We're going to have the sickest party ever, man."
"Bigger than the afterparty you had on prom night?" DJ inquired. Prom had been an experience, to say the least. Not only had someone spiked the punch - cliché much? -, the adult supervision was not the strictest and by the time king and queen were announced more than half of the students had already left for Geoff's.
Honestly, I didn't remember much from that night, only bits and pieces. I remembered dancing with Duncan, practically grinding together to the music with some of the more immature party-goers hollering and cheering. I remembered sitting in Duncan's lap for a round of Never Have I Ever; we were both out of the game faster than I'd like to admit. I remembered waking up in Duncan's arm the morning after, having hijacked Geoff's bedroom for the night as he and Bridgette had fallen asleep on the couch before everyone was even out the house.
"Much bigger, my dude", Geoff exclaimed and shared a high five with Duncan as he too voiced his excitement.
"What do we need?" he asked and leaned forward on his elbows placed atop the table.
"Booze and cups, obviously", Geoff started, ticking the items off on his fingers as he went, "some nice Mary Jane, snacks for after Mary Jane-" Duncan chuckled at that-"an awesome playlist and maybe some like sodas or something."
"What do you say, babe? You in?" Duncan asked with a grin and slung an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. I looked up at him with a smile and shook my head at the childlike glee in both his voice and face. I didn't need to say I was in, he understood anyway. "Great", he said before catching my lips in a kiss. It started out sweet, but quickly deepend as he pushed his tongue against my lips, snaking its way inside to massage my own tongue. I moaned into his mouth and brought a hand up to cup his cheek, tilting my head ever so slightly to give him better access.
Someone cleared their throat in the background, the noise only a whisper somewhere far away. Then it repeated. Twice.
"Guys!" Bridgette called, finally catching Duncan and I's attention. "Party planning, 'member?"
"Right", I said, my voice laced with embarrassment and my cheeks turning red, "sorry."
Geoff wasn't exaggerating when he said the graduation party was going to be bigger than the one he threw for prom. The house was packed, music blaring in every room. Even the basement had been occupied, the furniture pushed aside to make room for a dancefloor. Duncan and Geoff had, of course, drunk one too many beers and smoked one too many joints that by the end of the night Bridgette and I had to haul them up the stairs to Geoff's bedroom. By the time morning rolled around all four of us shared the bed. It wasn't big enough to fit us all comfortably, but we were all too exhausted to care.
"Nice", Duncan mumbled approvingly from behind me. His arm laid across my waist and his chest pressed up against my back. Bridgette laid in front of me, our legs entangled and her head resting near my chest. Geoff somewhere behind her, a leg and an arm hanging over the edge of the bed as he snored.
"Shut up", I murmured back, too tired to move, too tired to examine and care about the intimate position I shared with both my bestfriend and my boyfriend.
"Make me", he challenged and I could practically hear the smirk in his voice. Bridgette stirred next to me, scooching closer and sighed contently in her sleep. "Nice", Duncan repeated, this time earning a playful smack to his arm.
"Sleep", I said quietly; a command; a request.
We stayed the weekend at Geoff's house as the two boys nursed their hangovers. Bridgette and I enjoying their misery maybe a little too much.
Five years after graduation
"Hi", I answered with a smile as pressed the phone to my ear with my shoulder. I had a pen in my hand as I scribbled notes along the sides of the textbook that laid spread out before me on the bed. Lately I had been swamped with tests and whatever case the firm I was interning for worked on at that time. It was stressful, of course, but every time Duncan would call or visit it would calm me down immensely, his carefree nature rubbing off and his complete faith in me lifting some of the doubt off of my shoulders.
"Hey, babe", he greeted back, but there was something off, something weighing in his tone.
"What's wrong?" I asked carefully, my eyebrows drawn together in worry.
"I-what do you mean? Everything's fine", he assured with the least bit of confidence I had ever heard come from his mouth.
"Dunkie, talk to me." I dropped the pen and clutched my phone, something was seriously wrong, he deserved my undivided attention.
"I, uh", he hesitated, sighing loudly into my ear, "I went to a party last night."
"Uh-huh?" I questioned, urging him to continue, unsure of what could be so important as to shake him up like this.
"I got really drunk", Duncan continued silently and my stomach dropped, "And I'm just-I'm really sorry, okay?"
"What did you do?" My voice was quiet and dry as tears pooled in my eyes at the implications of his words.
"I'm sorry", he repeated instead and static silence filled our conversation, penetrating my skull and drowning out any other thought I had had before.
"Was it Heather?"
"No." I could see the shameful expression on his face as I closed my eyes, letting tears roll down my cheeks. It didn't matter that it wasn't Heather, it hurt anyway. So goddamn much. Duncan tried to explain but I couldn't bear myself to listen, ending the call without a goodbye in the middle of a sentence as he dove into apologies and explanations.
He called everyday for weeks after that, but I never answered. I threw myself deep into school and work instead, barely even having the time to talk to Bridgette. I got to sit second chair at three different trials and helped with the same amount of divorces out of the courtroom. Caffeine was my new best friend as I stayed up late into the nights, searching for any old cases relevant to the one I was currently working on and taking so many notes they could easily compete with the curriculum and textbooks combined.
Until I burned myself out.
Until one particular afternoon, after downing coffee like it was water for days straight, eliminating sleep in the process, I fell to the floor as I stood up to answer a question in class. I was unconscious for only a minute or so, but rushed to the hospital nonetheless.
Seventeen days they held me, telling me how I had pushed my body to its limits, ultimately leading to temporary fatigue, and that, if I didn't want it to develop into a chronic syndrome, I had to ease up on myself. I had to let myself take breaks, accept help from people offering it and all in all just start to listen to my body.
And, of course, he found it out and tracked me down, knowing I couldn't leave and would have no other option than to face him.
"Courtney, baby?" Duncan's voice interrupted my reading carefully, a silent knock on the door frame as he stuck his head into the room.
"What are you doing here, Duncan?" I asked, my words dripping with poison, and folded the book shut in my lap.
"Bridgette told me", he said as a way of explanation for his sudden reappearance in my life.
"I told her not to", was my simple answer.
"Yeah, well, look at you", he stepped into the room, gesturing with his arm toward me, "you're in a hospital bed, babe. Of course she'd tell me."
"You have no right to call me that", I spat back, ignoring the betrayal of my best friend for the time being.
"Look I said I was sorry. What more do you want from me?" he asked exasperatedly, plopping down on the chair next to the bed meant for guests. Wanted guests.
"I don't want anything from you."
"Come on", Duncan pleaded and I had to turn my head away from his desperate eyes, "I fucked up. But we both know that's nothing new."
"Fucked up?" I roared, shooting up in the hospital bed to glare at him, "Yeah, you fucked up, alright! Tell me, Duncan", I continued, spitting his name as if it were an insult, "was she any good? Good enough to throw away us?"
"The distance has been killing me, babe, you're always so busy-"
"Oh, so it's my fault you cheated? Is that what you're saying?"
"No, I just-ugh", he sighed, dragging his hands across his face aggravatedly. He looked tired, I noticed. The bags under his eyes deep and dark and his posture slouched.
"Look", I said, my voice dropping to an almost whisper as I studied my fingers pulling on a loose thread in the thin blanket that laid draped across my lap, "Can we just-Can we do this tomorrow?" Duncan looked up at me with confusion written across his face, but his eyes glistened with hope. I was still hurt, there was no getting around that issue, but I couldn't lie and say I hadn't missed him. "I really want to be alone right now." He pressed his lips together in a tight line, but nodded nonetheless, leaving the room without any audible objections and I sank down the bed with a sigh.
I was going to kill Bridgette.
Duncan was waiting outside when I woke up the next day, his foot bouncing restlessly as he leaned his back against the wall. The neon green so ridiculously protruding against the hospitals white painted corridors.
Our eyes met through the window and his leg stilled the second they did. He looked unsure, whether he should leave me alone or beg for forgiveness again. With a slight nod of my head I let him know his company wasn't completely unwanted.
"Princess", Duncan said softly as he entered the room, sinking into the chair next to my bed again.
"Hey", I greeted back equally as soft. Almost as if we were afraid of making noise.
"I, uh", he scratched the back of his head as his eyes bounced around the room, "Do you want some coffee? The cafeteria opened an hour ago and I wanted to wait for you", he rambled and I knew it was because of the discomfort filling the room and the uncertainty surrounding us.
"The coffee here is... well it's not good", I shook my head, remembering the dinner a nurse had brought me last night. The bread stale, the pasta overcooked, the coffee dry and grainy.
"I could run across the street", Duncan suggested and I sensed that maybe he dreaded this conversation just as much as I did.
"Duncan", he looked up at me and I massaged my lips together before continuing, "I'm good, really." He only nodded and for the longest time the only sound in the room was the buzz from the radiator and the muffled voices from outside.
I scooted up the bed and rearranged the pillows to serve as a comfortable support against my back, more so to have something to do than anything else. Duncan had leaned his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped and his head downturned.
"I really am sorry", he whispered finally, I love you, resonating through every word.
"I know." I love you too.
Duncan stayed with me everyday. Sometimes sitting silently beside me, offering comfort and support, but once every now and again, when I just couldn't muster up the energy to see him, he would plop down in the waiting room, but still available at a moments notice in case I changed my mind.
The few times we did talk it was about shallow things such as the nurses' sugary sweet attitudes that bugged the hell out of me or whatever crap that was on TV. But never addressing what we actually needed to.
On the sixteenth day of my stay at the hospital the doctor I had been assigned to let herself in without a warning, with a big smile on her face and a clipboard in her hands I could only guess harbored my charts.
"Good news, Miss Cadenas", she beamed and I had to shush her, jerking my head in Duncan's direction where he laid curled up on the chair, his head hanging awkwardly between his shoulder and the back of the chair as soft snores filled the room.
I had turned my head earlier that day to discuss a passage of the book I had been reading, only to be greeted with the relaxed features of his face as he slept. I didn't know if I wanted to smile or cry at the sight.
"Sorry", the doctor said, this time lower, but the smile on her face still shining big and bright, "You have made a stunning recovery, Miss Cadenas, and we feel positive about discharging you." The relief of being released bubbled in my chest and I had to massage my lips together as to not wake Duncan with a squeal. "We want to run a few tests before letting you go, compare your vitals to after you fainted and now, but from what I have seen you seem ready to go home tomorrow."
"Thank you", I sighed happily, but could tell there was more she wanted to say.
"Now-" And there it was, I thought- "Just because your going home does not mean you can resume what you were doing before. There is a reason you ended up in here, after all." I could only nod, knowing she was right, no matter how awful it felt to have to give something up or slow down. "I have prescribed some anxiety relievers that I want you to take once you get out of here, one a day should be good for now, but if you after a month don't feel any better, come see me and we'll see what we can do."
"Okay." It felt weird to be given medicine. Like I was weak, my body was weak. Everyone had problems with stress and they all handled themselves fine. So why couldn't I? Why didn't my body function the way it should? I was Courtney goddamn Cadenas, I was supposed to handle everything that was thrown at me.
"I would advise you to establish routines in your day to day life", the doctor continued, "Go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day, eat regularly and properly, go outside at least an hour a day." Then she smiled at me again before retreating back out of my room.
"Come on", Duncan said exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb, "You need to eat."
"Well I'm not hungry", I rebutted and crossed my arms from where I sat stubbornly on the couch.
"I'm only following the doctor's instructions", he sighed and lowered his hands from his face to instead stare down at me.
"I never asked you to take care of me", I muttered defiantly.
"You don't need to-" he yelled, cutting himself of as he started to pace around the room, my eyes following him as he went until he stopped to sit on the edge of the coffee table across from me. "I love you, okay?" It was the first time since the break up he had said that and I couldn't find it in me to fight him when he reached across to grab my hands. "You don't need to ask me to take care of you, I just will. I'll always be here, whether you like it or not, because I care. Okay? I love you."
The room grew silent as I ransacked my brain for a response. It had been a week since I was discharged from the hospital, and Duncan had been right by my side the whole time. He had stayed with me in my apartment, even though I said I was fine by myself he'd refused to leave and instead pulled a blanket out of the closet so he could sleep on the couch.
The only time he'd left me by myself was the second day out of the hospital, and not because I'd finally worn his stubbornness down, but instead to go home to gather a bag of clothes before coming right back.
'Tough luck', he had said when I sighed and said I thought he had left, 'You're not getting rid of me.'
"Fine", I finally gave in and withdrew my hands from his to instead cross my arms over my chest.
"Great", Duncan beamed and jumped up from his place on the coffee table, "Hawaiian or pepperoni?" he asked as he dialed the number to the pizza place.
Eight years after graduation
"Hey, so I was thinking", Duncan started as I sat down on the couch next to him, his arm slung across the back of it, dropping down onto my shoulders once I snuggled against his side, my head on his chest.
"Yeah?" I prompted, encouraging him to continue. A yawn escaped my mouth and my eyelids got heavier by the second.
"How about we get hitched?" I sprung from my place at his side and sat up straight in the couch with wide eyes. He couldn't be serious, could he?
"What?" I manage to get out, so soft I barely hear it myself.
"Yeah, I mean, we're practically married already", he shrugged as if it was no big deal.
"Duncan", I scowled and crossed my arms over my chest, "that is not a proposal. You're not even on your knees or anything! Do you even have a ring?!"
He rolled his eyes and stood from the couch, pulling a small box out of his back pocket as he knelt in front of me on the floor. "How 'bout now?" he smirked, but I wouldn't budge. With a sigh and another eye roll he cleared his throat and flipped the small box open in his hands. "Princess", he started, his voice soft and so full of love the sudden switch almost gave me whiplash, "I love you, and I have for quite some time and I don't think I'll ever really stop. Courtney Maria Cadenas", he swallowed hard before continuing, "will you marry me?"
My eyes flicked between the beautiful diamond ring nestled inside the velvet pillows of the box and Duncan's waiting face. "Duncan Christian Evans", I finally said, a big smirk on my face as I used his full name the way he had used mine, "I want a proper proposal."
"What do you mean 'proper'?" he asked, a brow raised in confusion, "I got down on my knee and everything", he whined, though did nothing to signal he would rise from the floor or even snap the box shut.
"Yeah, after I told you to", I pointed out. He stood still, looking up at me with unspoken questions written all over his face. I hadn't given him a straight answer, I knew, and it may have set him back, but I also knew I loved him just as much as he did me and even with our rocky past - and, let's face it, present - I couldn't see a future without him.
I sighed and sank down to the floor with him, laying a hand over his, the box still open between our palms. "I'm not saying no", I explained, "Just that 'How about we get hitched' is so not the way I thought you'd propose."
"Well how do you want it?" he asked, the smile on his lips mimicking my own as he realized this was anything but a rejection.
"First of all, we're not going to be in our PJs when you do it", I started, earning a chuckle from him, "second, I always imagined you doing something cheesy like putting the ring in a glass of champagne at a restaurant or something sappy like that."
"I'll call and make reservations right now", Duncan smirked and I just shook my head at my soon-to-be-fiancé.
"Duncan it's 2am, nothing's open."
"The food truck down the street is", he countered and pointed a thumb over his shoulder.
"I'm not getting engaged in a food truck", I laughed.
"Not in the food truck", he said with humorous exaggeration, "we'll be standing outside it."
"Whatever", I slapped his arm playfully and pulled myself up on the couch again. Duncan chuckled and shook his head as he handed me the jewellery box and sat next to me on the couch.
"You wanna wear it until our 'proper' engagement?" he asked, emphasizing the word 'proper', making light of the entire situation and my stubbornness.
"Then what are you going to put in my champagne?" I countered and nudged him with my shoulder.
"I don't know", he shrugged, "an olive?"
"You're stupid."
"Stupidly in love with youuu", he smiled and batted his eyelashes the same way a begging child would. I couldn't help but kiss him.
Duncan's tongue found mine fast and he moaned into his mouth as I wove my fingers in his mohawk, tugging at his hair as the want and need rose inside me. His hands wandered down my torso to play with the hem of my shirt.
I earned another proposal from Duncan once our clothes were off, because 'we're not in our PJs anymore'. I just laughed and kissed him harder, slipping my tongue into his mouth once more as he gripped my ass, holding me close to him. My legs wrapped around his hips and he carried us to the bedroom, throwing me down on the mattress before covering my body with his.
I moaned and scratched my nails down his back as he kissed and bit my neck and worked a finger in quick circles around my clit. He sank down and pulled a nipple in his mouth, rolling the puckered tip between his teeth as his tongue darted across it.
"Fuck, Duncan", I gasped as he slipped a finger inside of my hot center and I could feel him smile against my breast. He always did like it when I swore, especially in bed. He said it was a turn on, knowing he had so much of an effect and influence on me that I dropped the pristine no-cursing-rule I had learnt in my youth. Ladies do not swear, my mother used to say.
Duncan sped up the movements of his fingers and not before long I screamed my pleasure as the waves of climax rolled through my body. He didn't give me much time to recover before pounding his cock into me. He growled in my ear and tugged at the lobe and the stimulation of both his body and mouth almost felt like too much. I gasped and moaned and dug my nails into his skin, certainly leaving red, harsh marks against his smooth complexion.
"Courtney", he groaned and ran his tongue down my neck.
I tightened the grip my legs had around his hips and arched off the bed, giving him better access to my skin and deepening our connection. I could feel my walls contract as Duncan's cock brought me closer to the edge and I bit down on his shoulder from the pleasure.
"Wait", I breathed, not wanting to finish again without him.
"What?" he asked with concern, his thrusts stopping and his face lifting from the crook of my neck to look into my eyes; worry written all over his face.
"I want you to come with me", I whispered wickedly, laying open mouthed kisses along his jaw.
Duncan growled and disentangled himself from my hold, instead flipping me over so I laid on my stomach. With a hand pressing down my back and the other lifting my hips, he thrust into me fast; hard. I groaned at the new depth he could reach and I pressed my ass firmly against him in rhythm with his movements.
I felt him lean down, his chest against my back as he sucked and nipped at the skin on my shoulder, his fingers playing with my clit, giving me the final push needed to fall into bliss. Once I caught my breath I reached one of my hands around to grip his hips and with my nails digging into him, scratching him, he moaned my name loudly as he came.
Two weeks after the engagement
"I booked us a table for tonight. You wanna go out?" Duncan asked me when I walked out of the bathroom door, wearing only a towel.
"Are you going to propose?" I questioned, a brow raised high and a smirk on my lips, as I made my way over to where he sat at the dinner table with a pen in his hand and a sketchbook in front of him. He really was talented. The mindless doodling he used to do in high school instead of listen to the teachers had evolved and grown to a place where he designed all his own tattoos. The motifs where still mostly of skulls and flames and barbed-wire and daggers, but every once in a while the occasional flower would appear on his paper.
"Guess you'll have to see and find out", he answered with a grin and leaned up to give me a quick kiss.
"I'm going to get dressed", I said purposefully, "How fancy are we talking?"
"Fancy enough", he shrugged before delivering a smack to my ass when I turned around to walk into our bedroom.
Apparently 'fancy enough' had been right on the money. The service had been good, the food better, the interior only slightly obnoxious and the prices just a tad over our usual budget for dinner dates.
Duncan smiled at me like an idiot once we were seated, his hands clasped together on the table and his leg bounced underneath it. He hadn't asked for the ring back, but I knew anyway what tonight was about; his stupid grin told me everything.
It surprised me, however, when we'd gone through the whole dinner and he had yet to ask. But that smile had never once left his lips. I had excused myself to the bathroom as Duncan ordered desert, and once I came back to the table, there it was.
"You really went with an olive?" I laughed as I looked down the glass of champagne in front of me.
"Told you I would", he grinned back before reaching across the table to grasp my hand. He expertly slipped the engagement ring off of my finger. "Courtney", he started, "I've known you basically my whole life, and even though you've been a real pain in the ass, I wouldn't want it any other way. You're bossy, stubborn and a total neat freak-" I opened my mouth to object, but his finger over my lips stopped me- "but you're also driven and intelligent, not to mention hot."
"Duncan", I smiled, but he only shook his head to silence me and sank down to the floor, my hand still in his.
"Will you marry me?" he asked finally and held out the ring, slipping it back on my finger only after I'd said ' yes, yes, of course I'll marry you, you doofus'.
A few months after the 'proper' engagement
"Hey, babe", Duncan said as he walked through the front door.
"Hi", I greeted, turning down the volume of the TV. He plopped down on the couch next to me and, as if on instinct, I rested my head on his shoulder, his arm draped around me comfortingly. "How was work?"
"You know", Duncan shrugged, "same old, same old. What are we watching?" he asked, his hand waving haphazardly towards the screen.
"The Bachelor", I answered simply, a slight grin on my lips as he groaned and sunk deeper into the couch. If there was one thing Duncan hated, it was reality TV; claiming it was all fake and staged anyway. "By the way", I started, taking a deep breath to prepare, "I'm going to have to take some time off around May, June, somewhere."
"You what?" he questioned, sitting up straight onto the couch and using the arm around my shoulders to turn me towards him, "You never take time off."
"Yeah, well", I shrugged in a way I hoped looked nonchalant and tried to turn back, but he wouldn't loosen his grip on me.
"Babe, is something wrong? I've had to literally handcuff you to the bed when you had the flu so you wouldn't run off to work."
"I remember", I said and rolled my eyes, but a smile grazed my lips nonetheless. Even with the restricted movement, that night had been quite a good one.
"So", he prodded, "is something wrong?"
"Wait here", I sighed and stood up from the couch. He looked at me questioningly, but stayed put on the couch as I went to fetch the little stick laying on the edge of the bathroom sink. The little stick that would change our lives. I kept it behind my back as I sat down on the couch beside him again. "Give me your hand."
Duncan opened his mouth as if to protest but nothing came out. With a deep breath I grasped his outstretched hand in both of mine, the pregnancy test falling into his palm. With a soft kiss pressed to his cheek, I withdrew my hands and turned back to the TV, leaving him to connect the dots by himself.
"Is this real?" he asked quietly, staring at the positive result. I only nodded, not daring to face him yet. Was this something he even wanted? "Oh, baby", he smiled before he caught my lips with his. He poured every emotion he had into the kiss. The excitement, the fear, the love; everything. And it brought tears to my eyes.
"I love you", I whispered against his lips.
"I love you too", he said back and placed a careful hand on my stomach before leaning down to whisper against my abdomen, "And I love you too, whoever you are."