Mother is furious.
My sister is mortified.
And father? Father thinks it's hilarious.
Me? I'm just sitting back and watching it all happen.
My sister had some friends over from school. They were doing what girls do, I suppose, sitting in her room talking and laughing. After they left, and my sister went to help Father out at the bakery. Mother went into her room to see if there was any dirty laundry left behind.
And that's when she saw it.
Apparently one of my sister's friends left a book.
"The Star Crossed Lovers of District 12: Passion in the Pit of Despair!"
It's the first in a series.
"What the…?! I can't believe this! Wait until I get a hold of Plutarch. Damn it! They can't do this, can they? Shit. I will kill him! I swear I. Will. Kill. Him. If he ever steps foot in this district I will fire an arrow into his ass before he can even say Star Crossed Lovers. What the Hell is this? Shit. Where is my daughter?"
And that's when she and Father walked in the door.
"Mother! What are you doing in my room! Haven't you ever heard of privacy? You had no right. No right to go in there without telling me!"
"Excuse me? Whose house do you think this is little girl? Whose hard won house is this? It's your father's and mine. Please explain this book to me. NOW."
"Wren and her family were in the Capitol. I guess these books are all the rage there. She thought I might enjoy it. It's nothing Mother, really, it's nothing!"
"Nothing? Nothing? They have taken a horrible thing that happened to your father and I and are using it for…for…THIS!?"
"Katniss, calm down. Really how bad can it be? It was a long time ago. At least they don't call us the Crazy Brainwashed Lethal Lovers of District 12 anymore!"
"Peeta. You are not helping."
"Here, let me see it.
"Katniss' raven hair gleamed in the light of their small campfire, flowing in glossy waves over her heaving bosom, glistening with sweat. Peeta, leaning back against the cool cave wall, held her thighs with the same gentle firmness with which he kneaded bread. She leaned forward with parted lips – "
And that's when my sister finally gets it. It's not just a book. It's a book about Mother and Father and …THAT!
Which leads us to where we are now:
Mother is furious.
My sister is mortified.
And Father thinks it's hilarious.
Me? I'm now looking at my parents in a whole different light.
"Hey look! There's more! The Star Crossed Lovers of District 12: Coitus in the Quarter Quell
The Star Crossed Lovers of District 12: Reveling in Rebellion
The Star Crossed Lovers of District 12: Reuniting in the Reconstruction.
"Do you think Plutarch will arrange for us to get a cut of the profits?" I ask.
Now I have a bump on my head from where Mother hit me with the book…