Merry Skipmas, everyone.

Here is my secret santa gift to Aikori, who came up with the title.

With special thanks to Daamile and Blushweaver.

The town? Paris? The year? Unimportant.

There's a girl: Kyoko. She was adopted by Taisho and Okami-san, who own the Darumaya Bakery. There's no Sho - no one needs him. Still, Kyoko has an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and duty, towards everyone in her life, alongside deeply-rooted insecurities and an inescapable fear that she will never be good enough.

There is also a boy: Ren. His parents saw their son falling down a dangerous path, and sent him away before the worst came to pass. Though Rick is alive, Ren is alone, and the only thing keeping him on the straight and narrow is the hurt in the eyes of his parents when they shipped him off. Letting Kuon out as Chat helps him maintain control, mostly.

The girl and the boy, unbeknownst to them, are fighting in a war much bigger, and older than they can imagine.

Through a connection of her grandfather, Maria came into contact with the Miraculous, and spirited away with the butterfly and peacock. She hopes to defeat Ladybug and Chat Noir, with the intent of utilizing their Miraculous to bring her mother back from the dead. Her primary drive is, of course, guilt.

And now, the story.

"For you milady," offered Chat.

She looked at the hand extended towards her, holding up a single, perfect rose. She couldn't be swept up by this farce, it was just more playful flirting. Even a professional playboy like him should know it was too romantic a gesture to be made so thoughtlessly. She had to remind herself that it was just a flower - a simple plant, really - and it didn't mean anything like her love-addled brain was saying it did.

Still, was there a person in all of Paris who would not be swept off their feet by a very blonde Ren Tsuruga, with sparkling, emerald eyes, and a dazzling smile that almost hurt to look at? He didn't consider that of course, and he wasn't aware that she knew his identity. She did though, and she'd die before letting the Chat out of the bag.

But the rose! Not the King of Roses, no, the queen; a story so perfectly tailored to her tastes that she thought it must all be a dream. He would never give something like this to plain, boring Kyoko, but Ladybug was another story - she was brave and bold and always getting precariously close to crossing the line. Right now she was having trouble remembering where exactly it was, but she shoved down her giddiness and blinked back the stars in her eyes.

"And it's even my color," she smiled, accepting the flower, "you shouldn't have."

"Anything for you, bugaboo," he bowed, coming up with a wink.

She leaned in close, her lips almost brushing his ear.

"Don't call me bugaboo," she chided, flicking the bell on his collar as she pulled away.

He reached out to stop her, but her earrings blinked, giving her an easy excuse to escape.

"I've got to run for now, catch you later pussycat."

"Until then, milady, we'll meet in my dreams."

And mine, she thought to herself, face heating up.

He put his hand to his heart as she waved adieu, dashing across the rooftop and leaping into the air. She went her way and he went his, but as soon as her spots were off, she had to fight to stop the exhilaration from souring. A perfect rose from Ren, and a romantic interlude on a rooftop overlooking the Seine. That she could never tell anyone about. Even him. That wasn't actually her. That never would've happened if it was.

"Everything alright, Kyoko?" Jelly asked, hovering over her shoulder.

"He was purrfect, but it wasn't for me, it was for ladybug."

"And you are Ladybug."

"He doesn't know that." And he'd just be disappointed if he did, she added mentally.

She heaved herself onto the bed with a mighty sigh, clutching the rose to her chest, when something fell from the petals and clattered onto the floor.

"What is it?" asked the kwami muse.

She couldn't speak - could barely breathe - as she held up the shimmering, pink stone. He couldn't have planned this, could he?

"P-p-princess… Rosa…"

She looked up at Jelly and then down at her hands, as her spirit soared right out of her body and floated somewhere near the ceiling.

Jelly shook her head. "You didn't really believe that story, did you?"

But Kyoko didn't hear her, because she was lost to her fairytale world, and nothing save for Ren or an Akuma could've brought her back to earth. Jelly just smiled knowingly and shook her head.

Ren tried to keep his face from falling, but it was a struggle. 15th-century politics was not numbered among the things that held his interest, and he was growing agitated. Worse was that Kimiko had been clinging to him more than usual, and his patience threatened to snap. Maybe he'd get lucky and someone would get akumatized. At least then he'd get to see ladybug, and have the chance to vent his frustrations on a villain.

"Is it almost lunch yet? I'm starving," came a pitiful voice from inside his bag.

"Quiet, someone could hear you."

"But I haven't eaten in almost three hours," Yashiro whined. "I could collapse any minute."

He felt overstimulated - like the steady pressure was nearing a boil. The bumbling Professor Sawara once again fought for dominance of the sound waves against the ceaseless chattering of Kimiko and Mimori, and there was his kwami, contributing to the cacophony. His fingers curled into a fist as he tried to shut it all out, zeroing in on the rhythmic ticking as the clock slowly worked its way toward 12 o'clock - when he'd finally be able to briefly escape.

When the bell rang at last, he let out a deep breath, waiting as everyone fought their way out of the room. Leaning against the wall outside the door, he closed his eyes, letting the coiled up tension bleed away, as he let his true face slip free of the mask. His peace was short-lived, when raised voices drew his attention.

"Nice bag, what, did you make it yourself?"

"Yes, I did."

His eyes flew open at the sound of the voice, so precious and familiar, but it had to just be his mind playing tricks. He quickly took in the situation, wondering if he'd be forced to step in.

"She sounds so proud of herself," Mimori mocked, covering her mouth with her hand to laugh affectedly.

"It's ugly and cheap, just like you," Kimiko snarled.

He stayed in place, struck by Kyoko's placid expression, and the sharpness of determination in her eyes. How would she respond? Why was he so curious?

"If there's nothing else, I'll take my leave."

As she turned away, Mimori yanked the bag hard, but Kyoko spun around protectively, pulling it to her chest.

"What's wrong little udon, is there something in there you don't want us to see?"

Kyoko's brow hardened, one leg shifting back into a defensive stance, and he got ready to move. He had to do it right, to make it look like a coincidence, so that he didn't make things worse.

"Don't touch it," Kyoko warned, a hard edge in her voice he'd never heard before.

It was time, but just as he reached the door, slap!

"Who do you think you a-R-ren!" Kimiko froze, staring at him with her mouth hanging open. "Wh-what brings you here?"

"Forgot something in my desk," he smiled, lips tight and thinly veiled anger twinkling in his eyes.

"Well," Mimori cleared her throat, "we're just having a bit of girl talk, isn't that right Kyoko?"

Kyoko rolled her eyes but didn't respond.

"Better hurry if you don't want to miss lunch," he warned, letting a little hardness edge into his tone so that she got the hint.

Kimiko put her hands on her hips. "I was getting bored anyway, come Mimori."

Mimori huffed, following her out of the classroom.

"Are you alright?" he asked, once their retreating footfalls were a safe distance away.

"I'm fine," she insisted, not meeting his eyes.

But she wasn't. The strap on her bag was torn, and there was a scratch on her cheek. He narrowed his eyes and gave her a stern look that he hoped conveyed his reproof.

"I've seen your tenacity firsthand, so why do you let them get away with this?"

It wasn't his business, and he knew he shouldn't be butting in, but he couldn't seem to help getting involved. She was just so damned frustrating, letting herself be pushed around.

"It's not a big deal, I've been through much worse," she assured him with a small smile.

He dragged a hand down his face and sighed.

"You're such a pain."

She lowered her head and tilted it to the side, whispering, "I know."

His jaw clenched. What was he going to do with her, and why couldn't he just leave her alone? He lifted her chin until she reluctantly met his eyes, opening them wide to stare her down.

"We've been through this. When someone insults you, don't just agree with them."

She looked away and he cleared his throat disapprovingly.

"Now go clean yourself up. I'll walk you to the cafeteria."

She nodded as he pulled away, and the button on his shirt sleeve caught on the chain of her necklace, lifting it up. He wouldn't have thought anything of it, if not for the glimmer of pink out of the corner of his eye, and the terrified expression forming on her face.

"Wait, don't!" she yelled, but he'd already seen it clearly.

He unhooked the chain from his button and stared at the familiar stone, and then up into the face of its owner. The horror in her wide eyes and slightly trembling lips told him this was no coincidence.

"Kyok-"

Before he could even get out the word, she shoved him back and ran like her life depended on it. He let her go for now - it's not like she could run forever, but he had no intention of letting her go. Not now that he'd finally found her.

With solemn resignation, she made her way to the waiting rooftop, like a condemned woman on a death march to the waiting gallows. Escape had occurred to her, fleeing the country, but she couldn't do that, because she couldn't just leave everything behind. She always knew that this day would come eventually, she just hoped it wouldn't be quite this soon. As though having more time to prepare herself would make it feel less like her life was over, when it probably wouldn't.

He was there, waiting when she arrived, and her already thundering heart threatened to burst, it beat so violently.

"Milady," he greeted, his voice low.

She quietly cleared her throat, hoping her voice wouldn't break, "Chat."

His chest felt somehow light and heavy at the same time, waiting for her to arrive, but his heart dropped into his stomach the moment he saw her. Her face had the look of someone preparing to walk barefoot across broken glass. He'd only just found out who she was, but she already knew and clearly didn't want him to. Why? Was she disappointed? Was he the only one with these feelings?

Her steps were too slow, so he went to meet her, trying to stop himself from rushing forward at full speed. Everything was suddenly so much more real now, Ladybug. She didn't have to be a mystery anymore.

"Yashiro, claws off."

She put a hand up to stop him, but it was already too late. Despite the urge to look away, her eyes stayed fixed, watching as Chat transformed into Ren. Instead of being like a dream, she felt as though she was trapped in a nightmare. One she'd had before, only this time she was awake. This time it was real.

She took a deep breath, smiled sadly, and looked at him one last time before it was too late.

"Jelly, spots off."

It was something he imagined a hundred times, but reality put every fantasy to shame. Watching Ladybug become Kyoko, it was miraculous.

"It really is you," he marveled, lifting his hand up to touch her face.

"Yes," she breathed, eyes brimming with tears. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, confused, and lifted her chin. "I'm not."

"But aren't you," she sniffed, "disappointed?"

He pulled her into his arms, their foreheads pressed together.

"I could never be disappointed with you."

"But I-I'm just a p-plain udon," she blubbered, shaking in his arms.

He pulled away to look into her face, wiping her cheeks with his fingers.

"Didn't you know? Udon is my favorite noodle."

She covered her face with her hands, laughing despite herself. It was just so cheesy, and hearing Ren say such a Chat line felt surreal somehow, even knowing they were the same person. He peeled away her fingers, but she kept putting them back, too embarrassed not to hide.

"I'm glad it's you," he told her earnestly, and she finally removed her hands. "And you know, I think some part of me already knew. When… how long have you known?"

She looked away, scratching her neck.

"For a while then," he noted, taking her hands in his and interlacing their fingers. "And how did you figure it out?"

She looked up at him and then immediately away, her face burning.

"Ph-physical data," she stammered.

He quirked his brow, repeating, "physical data?"

"What? No? I mean yes-I mean, did you hear something?"

"No."

"Are you sure? It could be an akuma! We should check just to be safe!"

He smiled, shaking his head and pulling her close.

"You're not getting away that easy. Now, what was that about my body?"

They both looked up at the sound of clearing throats overhead.

"Is that…"

"Mistletoe," the kwami said in unison, Jelly smiling bright and Yashiro smirking like a creep.

Where did they even get mistletoe in June, she wondered, but Ren knew there was only one course of action.

"Milady."

"Pussycat."

He smiled at her, leaning in closer, and she closed her eyes, hoping this wasn't all just a dream. Slowly, softly, their lips pressed together and the world melted away. It was just the two of them, both Ladybug and Chat Noir, and Kyoko and Ren, truly seeing each other for the first time.

Fin.

Well, there is more, if you must know.

Like Marinette, Kyoko makes dolls. Of course, she would have to make a Chat Noir doll, and in doing so, she would need to obtain his physical data. She would notice that Chat and Ren have identical data. Of course, the hair and eyes don't match, and their personalities are so different. Certainly it must just be a coincidence!

But then, they are never in the same place at the same time, she starts to notice. Could it be possible? Until one day, Chat and Ren are together, albeit with Ren obscured by a helmet, only… the physical data doesn't match, proving that he must be using a stand-in. Ultimately, she realizes that Ren actually is Chat.

This changes everything, and especially the way she sees both Ren and Chat, who are very much the same person, but so very different. Over time she starts to see the common threads, and weaves them together into what she imagines must be who he truly is.

Heaven help her, because she becomes helplessly, hopelessly in love with all of him.

A/N: For those who don't know, I struggle with depression, and because of that, I haven't been able to write these past few months. To those who've reached out to me and been so incredibly kind, your words have meant more than you know, and I am truly touched. I promise I'll get back to writing again when I'm able. Rest assured that, no matter how long it takes, I haven't forgotten my stories.

Happy holidays to anyone that celebrates them!