A/n: sorry for the long wait! After lots of P3 writer's block, a bit of PQ to see the P3 characters again and some PQ2 promotional material with Minako in it, some inspiration to write P3 finally resurfaced!
And today is December 2nd, 2018. The year aside, December 2nd marks that important full moon day in P3, the day when the truth about Ryoji/Pharos was revealed, and I thought it would be fitting to publish the chapter on this date. So, here it is. I hope it makes up for the wait. Enjoy!
Guiding Star
Written by Aiyumi
Disclaimer: Persona and all related characters are property of Atlus. Any trademarks that may be referenced in this fan fiction are properties of their respective owners. I am just a fan and do not have any relations to said people/companies.
Chapter 18: Memories
Ryoji and his classmates unboarded the train. They were on a school trip, and had set foot on Kyoto! A quick glance around and an intake of air already showed that the atmosphere was completely different from Iwatodai's.
"Shrines, temples, more shrines and more temples. Bleh. I'm so not looking forward to this." One of his male classmates grimaced at the schedules pamphlet. "Mochizuki, your previous school had a trip planned too, right? Where'd it be to?"
"My previous school...?" Ryoji tried to recall the other school, but froze. His mind blanked out again. The way past memories refused to come to him was kind of scary. Ryoji was on the verge of panicking when a sudden recollection of someone mentioning a school trip finally emerged. That had to be it. "I-Inaba... I think."
"Inaba? You mean that boring rural town in the middle of nowhere?" The classmate sighed. "Our school had the tennis club members go there earlier this year. What are these schools thinking? Why do they always have to pick such boring places?"
"Hey, don't say it like that." Ryoji couldn't contain himself. "I've heard it's a calming place, and that the people are quite hospitable. How I wish I could go there..."
Another male classmate joined in. "I've heard their hot springs are great! But we can go to the hot springs here in Kyoto, too!"
"We can at least look forward to this, then, I guess..." The first classmate grumbled.
The classmate's complaints wouldn't ruin Ryoji's excitement, though. "Ooooh! I can't wait!"
The students followed their schedule and visited the various temples. Ryoji obliviously wasted no time in unleashing his pick up lines vocabulary onto female schoolmates and shrine maidens alike. He completely failed to notice the exasperated expressions of the nearby Gekkoukan students, and no one seemed to have the courage to reprimand him for his behavior.
Once the students finally found themselves with free time and dispersed, Ryoji caught sight of Minako. She had nodded to her friends and parted ways with them. Ryoji took this opportunity to approach her.
"Hi, Minako-chan! I was wondering if we'd meet again here." He bounded over to her with a cheerful smile.
Her only response was a heavy sigh and a disapproving look.
Ryoji inched his head closer. "What's wrong? Not enjoying the trip?"
"More or less. But..." She grimaced. "Ryoji-kun, you really don't know when to stop, do you?"
Ryoji blinked. "Huh? What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?"
"You kept hitting on the girls the whole time and embarrassing everyone!"
Ryoji was shocked. "I-I embarrassed everyone?! Sorry, I didn't notice."
Minako sighed again. "Why do you keep doing that, anyway?"
"Why? Going out with them is a fun way to know different places! Life's short. So, I've got to make the most of it!"
Minako was still disapproving. "That's all?"
"Huh? Hmm." Minako's question made Ryoji recall that, perhaps, there was a deeper reason. "Oh, yeah, there's another reason. It's hard to put it into words that make sense, though."
"Go on." Minako seemed rather willing to listen to that, much to his surprise.
"I have this urge to find something, and I feel that I'll find it someday if I keep looking."
"What are you looking for?"
It was strange. No matter how much Ryoji racked his brain, nothing concrete came to mind. "I don't know how to explain. But I'm sure I'll know what it is once I finally find it. Maybe it's an answer." Ryoji spaced out for a couple of seconds. "Hmm, an answer... and maybe the love of my life. That'd be nice, too."
"It's nice to know you're searching for something meaningful. I doubt you'll find it by hitting on girls randomly, though. You're just wasting your time. I bet that most girls that agree to go out with you don't even take you seriously."
"Hmm." Ryoji reflected on Minako's words. "Yeah, maybe you're right. The other day I approached a few girls I had already hung out with once. I asked them out again, since it had been fun the first time. But they basically said they'd be going on dates with someone else, and didn't even seem to remember our previous outing. Maybe they really aren't interested in creating a meaningful bond with me. How disappointing... I have fun while I visit new places, but it's sad when the people I hung out with don't even seem to remember me and act like our previous interactions never happened. I had been trying not to think much about it, but yeah... it hurts."
"Yeah, it does." A pained look crossed Minako's eyes, as though she were saying she knew the feeling very well.
Ryoji wanted to ask for details, but concluded Minako still didn't trust him enough to open up to him. But then, he realized something. "Um, Minako-chan, you remember our last talk, right?"
"Yeah, of course."
"What do you remember? Tell me." Ryoji was expectant.
"You ran into me during my shift at Chagall. You waited until it ended and we talked on the street on the way back, about Mr. Edogawa's Tarot lessons and that you're staying at the boy's dorm."
Ryoji's face lit up. Minako remembered their previous interaction, unlike the other girls. The urge to get closer to her was even stronger now. Maybe he could connect with her, and finally figure out the reason she seemed familiar.
"Now I think I understand where I was going wrong." Ryoji concluded. "You don't like to see me asking people out, right? Okay, I'll stop. Um, so, can we become friends?"
"Sure."
Ryoji smiled like a happy little child. His mind was set. He would need to impress Minako so that she wouldn't start ignoring him.
The trip went on, and Ryoji didn't ask anyone else out. This change began eliciting curious murmurs from his schoolmates, and only then Ryoji noticed what others had been thinking of his previous behavior.
"Isn't it weird how Mochizuki-kun's been so quiet for a while?"
"Yeah. What do you think happened?"
"Maybe a teacher called him out or something?"
"I don't care what it was, but I hope he stays this way. Watching him hitting on girls left and right was so cringy..."
... ... ... ... ...
On the last day of the trip, Ryoji got acquainted with two boys. One of them was Junpei Iori, who was in the same class as Minako, and the other one was their senior, Akihiko Sanada. By the end of the day, they were all planning to bathe in the hot springs next to the hotel they were staying at.
Junpei was excited. "Finally! Hot springs time! Let's do it!"
"... Do 'it?'" Akihiko was hesitant. "Wait. You don't mean..."
"Yeah! There's only one thing to do." Junpei smirked. "Spy on the girls, of course!"
"Oh! You mean, like taking a shower together with them?" Ryoji said innocently. "But I've heard it's wrong." Though he had never understood why...
"This is why we can only spy on them! Look at them in hiding, and make sure they don't notice us." Junpei explained.
"Ah, I see!"
"You know the drill. We just pretend we mixed the schedules up and go in at the girls' time." Junpei laid out the plan.
"But..." Akihiko was still unsure.
"Don't worry, Sanada-san! They didn't catch us last time. It'll be fine!" Which could only mean they had done it before. They had prior experience. It would be fine to follow them. "You're with us, right, Ryoji?"
"Yeah." Ryoji agreed to join them. If he were to take a look for himself, maybe he would finally find out why it was wrong.
Minako entered the hot springs with the other girls, and was reminded of how pleasant the warm water was. However, she also got reminded of one other thing...
"Mi-Minako-chan... did you hear that noise just now?" Fuuka was scared. "What if it's a... ghost?"
Yukari closed her eyes tightly. "D-do-don't say that!"
"Wait." Mitsuru interjected. "Hadn't this also happened in the other timeline?"
Minako's head shot up in realization. "Yeah, it had... and in the end we didn't find out what it was. I'll investigate."
"We are counting on you, Minako-chan," Fuuka said.
Minako focused and began moving around. She made sure to scour the places she remembered she hadn't looked in the previous timeline, until...
"Gah!" She found a familiar figure sneaking around. "J-Junpei!?"
"Crap!" Junpei blurted out.
Ryoji panicked as he heard Junpei had been caught. He tried to sneak away while Junpei was the focus of attention, but he was getting out of breath underwater, and got forced to come out. Naturally, he was caught as well.
"You too!? I can't believe this!" The disapproval in Minako's expression was more evident than ever. "You've lost all your progress. You had been doing so well until now..."
Ryoji only gaped and stared at her. He was paralyzed, as if in a trance. Not only because he had been caught, but because that feeling of familiarity hit him again. The feeling that he had seen Minako... naked in the shower before... but how could that be?
"Aaaaah!" A yelp from Fuuka startled Ryoji and snapped him back to reality.
He looked around and saw that Fuuka was with the Student Council President and another girl.
"Stupei! It just had to be you, hadn't it?!" The other girl was angry. "And you too, Ryoji-kun."
"Even you, Akihiko!" The Council President was shocked.
"M-Mitsuru... I... I c-can explain..."
The three boys desperately tried to justify themselves and give the "we mixed the schedules up" excuse, but she wouldn't have any of it.
"The three of you will be executed for this."
"E-executed?" Ryoji stuttered.
The Student Council President sent them a cold glare. So cold to the point it could freeze them. Probably literally. Ryoji felt his body going cold, and for an instant, he swore he saw an ethereal entity behind the Student Council President... but he couldn't bear the cold and passed out. His last thought before blacking out was that now he believed he understood why being in the shower with girls was wrong. It could be very dangerous...
Akihiko, who was weak to ice, had gotten it the worst. He had not only passed out, but had also caught a cold.
The following morning, they were about to leave the hotel and head to the train station to return home. The girls seemed to be avoiding the boys for the most part, and Mitsuru kept giving him pointed looks too. She must be still angry.
Inside the train, she chose to sit right next to him, out of all places. Akihiko seriously needed to apologize.
"Mitsuru. Um, I'm..." He began hesitantly, but had to turn away and cover a sneeze. "Sorry. Err, not about the sneeze. Uh, no, that too, but I mean, yesterday..."
Mitsuru heaved a sigh. "Let's just forget about it. Most importantly, though, are you really okay?"
"Huh? of course I am. This cold is annoying, but nothing I can't handle. I'll be back to normal in no time!"
Mitsuru's gaze hardened for a split second, but then she became oddly hesitant. "Akihiko. I... may have gone a little too far. I hadn't thought it would affect you this much. I apologize."
"... Mitsuru?" Akihiko stared at her in bewilderment.
"If y-you need something, tell me."
Akihiko nodded hesitantly, with his mouth hanging slightly open. He had never seen Mitsuru show this much concern before.
Mitsuru remained at his side during the whole trip.
A few days later, the incident with Chidori happened. The SEES members did the best they could, but it happened the same as in the other time. Strega shot Junpei, and Chidori gave him all her power to save his life. Like the other time, it resulted in Medea sort of fusing with Hermes, and Junpei's Persona evolved into Trismegistus. However, Junpei became angrier and more devastated than before.
"Why!? Why Chidori? Why couldn't we save her!?" Junpei screamed on their way back to the dorm. "I thought things had changed. I thought that I had changed! That I had become stronger and could save her this time..."
Everyone was shocked and unsure what to say to him.
"Sorry, Junpei." Minako began. "We did what we could..."
"Yeah, I know. I don't blame you guys, but..."
Minako cut him off. "Um, I don't know how to put this, but... I'm sad for you and Chidori-san. But on the other hand, I have to admit I'm relieved. I was scared that instead of this happening the same as before, it might've gone worse. She might not have managed to save you, or another one of us might've been shot and... you know."
The implication sank in, and Junpei heaved a solemn sigh. "I hadn't thought of this, but I guess you're right."
"We're glad that you're still here, Junpei," Yukari said. "Be grateful to Chidori. She went as far as sacrificing her life for you. It means she truly loved you."
Junpei nodded quietly in understanding, and they continued the walk to the dorm in silence.
... ... ... ... ...
A few days later, some career experience activities began, where the school sent the students to a facility so that they could experience some activities from the job market. Minako recalled going to help clean Wild Duck Burger the other time, but now she got sent to help stock a department store's shelves with products.
While she was on break, she saw that Ryoji was also there, throwing hesitant glances at her from a distance. He hadn't talked to her since the Kyoto trip, and Minako decided to approach him.
"Ryoji-kun?"
"Ah, Minako-chan..." He shuffled nervously. "Um, a-are you still angry? I'm sorry. That day, I..."
"It's fine. I forgive you."
"Really?" His eyes lit up.
"Yeah. I don't want to be on bad terms with you."
"I'm glad you said that." Ryoji flashed a relieved smile. "I don't want to be on bad terms with you, either. You had said I lost all my progress, and I was worried I might've lost your friendship, too..."
"Of course not. It'd be really lame to break our friendship because of something like that. It's all good. Let's just put what happened that day behind us and move on."
"Okay!" Ryoji nodded cheerfully, looking like a weight had been removed from his shoulders. "So, what do you think about career experience so far?"
"It's tiring work. This is only half of the first day and I'm already getting tired. It must be really hard for the people carrying the boxes and organizing the products on the shelves every day."
"Yeah. One of the managers said that this is one of the last steps before products reach everyone's tables, though. It means that there's much more work involved before the products arrive here! I'm glad that the school gave us the opportunity to experience the activity, because this makes me appreciate these employees' hard work more. I wish others would feel the same..."
Minako couldn't help but smile at the typical Pharos viewpoint. "Some people aren't aware of the work it takes, and others are so busy that they don't have time to stop and think about these things. You're right, though. There are things we take for granted that should get more appreciation."
"Um, by the way, Junpei-kun is in your class, right? He was supposed to be in the same group as me, but he didn't come. Do you know if something happened?"
"He... lost someone precious."
"This is... really sad..." Pain reflected in Ryoji's blue eyes. "All living things will die one day. No one can escape it. It's too sad. Maybe not so much to those who leave, but mostly to those who stay." He balked. "Huh...? I have the feeling that I had heard this before... no, said this before... and to someone precious, too."
Indeed, he had. The more they interacted, the more Minako was sure that his memories from his time as Pharos weren't completely gone, and she was relieved at that.
"Junpei-kun is someone I care about. I'm worried about him. He gave me his phone number when we met at Kyoto. I'll call him later... um, Minako-chan. Since we're friends, can we trade numbers, too?"
In the other timeline, Minako had avoided Ryoji because she thought he was irresponsible and a bad influence. Said Junpei had given Minako's number to Ryoji without her consent, and then Ryoji called her out of nowhere to ask her out, which had irritated her to no end. Minako had not so gently asked Ryoji not to call her again, and definitely scared him away. This time, though, it was different. He had already agreed he wouldn't flirt with her. And in this timeline, she was already sure who he was. She couldn't deny giving Pharos her phone number, now could she?
"Sure." Minako traded phone numbers with him, and he looked very pleased. Her Social Link with him ranked up, like practically every time they interacted.
The break was over, and they returned to their activities.
... ... ... ... ...
At night, back at the dorm, Minako was glad to find Junpei out of his room. He said he would do his best to move on for the second time, and would even try to take part in the career experience activity. Anything to distract his mind from what had happened...
When Minako was preparing to go to bed, her phone rang. It was Ryoji. She wondered why he was calling at that time of night.
"Minako-chan! Sorry for calling this late at night. Um, but I've just called Junpei-kun and we were on the phone for more than half an hour! He told me he'll be going to career experience tomorrow."
"Yeah, I know. He told me. We're in the same dorm, actually."
"O-oh." Ryoji sounded nervous. "S-sorry, I didn't know! I thought I'd tell you the news, but if he's told you firsthand, never mind then!" Ryoji laughed in embarrassment.
So, he had called because he had wanted to keep her informed and put her at easy. "It was nice of you to call to keep me posted, though. Thanks."
"You're welcome!" He sounded glad that she appreciated his gesture, and cheerful like Pharos the first time he had said that phrase to her, which had been really cute. "Hmm... if both of you are in the same dorm, it means that I can also see you if I drop by to pay him a visit, right?"
"Yeah. You can see other familiar faces too, including Fuuka-chan and the Student Council President. Oh, she's not angry anymore, don't worry."
"That's a relief... and it sounds like a lively dorm! I'll drop by for sure! Well, Minako-chan, sorry if my late call bothered you. I'll let you sleep now. Good night, and bye!"
Ryoji kept Junpei company during career experience to give him moral support, and agreed to pay him a visit once they were back to the normal school routine.
Three days later, the career experience activities were over. Ryoji was in class, and had just finished the exercises for that class.
While he had nothing else to do, he kept admiring his own writing as though it were a piece of art. He always gave his best on his writing because he treasured his notebook. The notebook that had a picture of a lake on its cover, and had several divisions for each school subject. Ryoji had gotten both his notebook and his pen as a gift. Someone very special had given them to him...
Ryoji froze. No matter how hard he thought, he was unable to remember who had given them to him, except that it was someone precious. How come he was so attached to those two items, and yet couldn't remember who had given them to him, even though it was supposed to be someone so dear to him? It made no sense. Ryoji felt sorry for that person, because she would be disappointed if she were to find out he didn't remember.
She? Ryoji thought. Somehow he had the feeling that it had been a she. But who was "she?"
That class ended, and Ryoji had to interrupt his reflection to focus on the next class that would begin.
... ... ... ... ...
Junpei took him to the dorm after school. The capped boy still wasn't 100% back to normal, but was doing much better.
"Uh, sorry for all the mess..." Junpei said in embarrassment once they set foot into his bedroom.
"Whoa, Junpei-kun. You stay cooped up in here when not in the mood to do anything, right? Doesn't this mess makes your head feel messy inside, too?"
"Huh? I've never thought of it that way... cleaning the mess is the thing I'm least in the mood for, though..."
"I'll help you!" Ryoji volunteered with an enthusiastic grin. "I bet you'll feel much better in a clean bedroom!"
Even though Junpei wasn't in the mood for doing chores, he ended up agreeing anyway. Ryoji helped Junpei organize his things, threw all the accumulated garbage from the trash can, and cleaned the furniture in general. Both of them were panting by the end of it.
"Phew. I'm beat." Junpei collapsed into a sitting position onto his bed.
"Me too... but look at this! It even looks like a different room! Hmm, now I'm curious to know how the girls' rooms look. They must be very tidy."
"Whoa. Already aiming for the girls' rooms, eh? We aren't allowed into their floor." Junpei grinned mischievously, a bit closer to his usual self, and whispered to Ryoji. "But it so happens that I know of a way to take a peek at their rooms!"
"... Really?"
"Yeah, follow me!"
Ryoji followed Junpei to the fourth floor, where the controls for the security cameras were located. Since neither of the girls were home yet, all rooms were empty. Ryoji admired Yukari's and Fuuka's cute rooms, and gaped at Mitsuru's luxurious room that was big enough to be a residence by itself!
"And this one, at the end of the hall, is Mina-tan's room!" Junpei announced and changed the view on the monitor.
Ryoji gasped and froze. He had thought the other rooms' layouts were familiar, but what he felt from this one blew the others out of the water. It felt like the scenery from a pleasant dream, and hit him with an overwhelming wave of nostalgia and fondness.
"Hey, what happened?" Junpei asked.
"This... this room... I feel like I've seen it before..."
"Huh?" Junpei blinked, then his eyes widened and he muttered something under his breath. "Oh crap. Pharocchi... I had forgotten..."
Ryoji couldn't catch what Junpei had said. "... Huh? What was that?"
Junpei shook his head. "No, never mind. Come on. Let's get out of here b-before we get caught!"
Ryoji followed Junpei absentmindedly. They arrived at the first floor, and got face to face with Minako, who had just come in from the front door.
"Oh, Ryoji-kun?"
"He helped me tidy up my room." Junpei explained. "That's some disposition. No way I'd have cleaned my room today if he hadn't dragged me to do it. I'm tired. I guess I'll go back to my new tidied-up room." Junpei laughed awkwardly, then whispered to Ryoji. "Maybe you can ask her to take you to her room?"
"... Huh!?" Ryoji startled.
"Good luck." Then Junpei spoke normally. "Thanks for today, Ryoji. See you!"
Ryoji became alone with Minako.
She noticed his distant look. "Ryoji-kun, what's wrong?"
"Ah... Minako-chan." Ryoji blinked and tried to focus. "It's weird... sometimes, I see something for the first time, but I feel as though I've seen it before. It's what they call... déja vu, I think. Have you ever had this feeling?"
"Yeah, I have."
Ryoji was glad that he wasn't the only one. "Really?! One more thing we have in common!"
"What made you have this feeling lately?" Her question surprised him. Sometimes she became curious about the oddest things...
"Objects, places, people..." Ryoji considered asking her to show him her room, but gave up. Something told him that she might get angry. "I feel like I know you... I feel something special about you, as though we were destined to meet."
Her gaze lit up for a fraction of a second, but then she became wary. "You aren't trying to hit on me, right?"
"N-no!" Ryoji blurted out. "You had told me not to ask you out... so I won't."
Truth be told, though, Ryoji really wanted to ask her out. He wished that he could get along with her, and that their interactions weren't this awkward. Whenever he talked to Minako, he felt a weird disconnection. He felt so close to her, yet so far at the same time. It was as though something important to set the right mood were missing. He wanted to spend more time near her, talk more to her and try to figure out what was wrong.
Minako's cellphone rang. "Sorry, Ryoji-kun. Excuse me."
It was too hard to come up with what to say next and Ryoji couldn't stand the awkwardness. "Th-then, I'll go home. See you again!"
... ... ... ... ...
In the night of Sunday , November 29, Ryoji had a nightmare. In it, he was a big monster, and was attacking a group of people. When they avoided some attacks and came a bit closer, he realized it was the students from the Iwatodai dorm, with Minako in the lead. Ryoji was scared. He didn't want to hurt them, but it was as though something oppressing was controlling him, and he couldn't do anything to stop it.
When Ryoji was about to despair, he awoke with a start.
"Ah!" He glanced at his phone that was supposed to have rung the alarm and woken him up... and realized it probably had but he didn't hear it. "Oh no. I'm late!"
Ryoji quickly did his morning routine, changed into his uniform, took his school materials and stormed out of the dorm. He didn't even have time to put gel on his hair.
Ryoji made his way to school as fast as he could,. He arrived after the chimes rang, but luckily before the teacher got to his classroom.
On lunch break, Minako was walking in the courtyard when she spotted Ryoji... with his hair down. This took her aback for a moment. With his hair down, his image was more reminiscent of grown-up Pharos than ever, though it still hurt that he didn't remember all those moments they had spent together.
"Hi, Minako-chan..."
"Hi, Ryoji-kun. New hairstyle?"
"Ah, this..." His hand went for his hair, and he half-closed his eyes in embarrassment. "Um, actually, I slept in and didn't have time to gel my hair!" He laughed awkwardly at his own misfortune.
"I-it looks good this way." She found herself saying.
However, they couldn't continue talking. Someone from Student Council came looking for Minako, and she had to leave and throw Ryoji an apologetic glance.
Ryoji stared dumbstruck at the spot Minako had been standing. He didn't know what to do to impress her, and she complimented his hairstyle resulted from his sleeping-in, out of all things!
"Hey, Mochizuki." Kenji approached him. "You have your eyes on Arisato, I see."
"Y-yeah... since the first time I saw her, I noticed something special about her. The other girls I hung out with didn't give this feeling."
Kenji threw him an amused look. "Wow, love at first sight?"
"I'm not sure what this is. There's something about her that makes me want to get closer to her and know her better, but it isn't going too well..."
"Arisato's in my class, and is famous for rejecting everyone that asks her out. Not even you managed to reel her in yet?"
"Uh, she told me not to ask her out, and I don't want to do anything that displeases her. I want to get closer to her, she said we could be friends, but something still doesn't feel right. The mood gets so awkward when we talk, as though there's an invisible wall between us, and I don't know what to do about it. Maybe I need some kind of code, like the 'private lessons' thing you told me about the other day. Speaking of which, how is it going on your end?"
"Oh, glad you asked!" Kenji got full of himself. "I spent my Sunday at Emiri's house... I mean, that's Ms. Kanou's first name. She's such a sweetheart! After classes, I'll be heading there again today!"
"That's nice. Good luck!"
"Thanks! To you too! Arisato is a high-level target. If no one managed to reel her in yet, it must mean that the conventional methods don't work on her. But I know you're good with girls, and a peculiar guy too, so if there's someone that can get her attention, it should be you!"
Ryoji felt a bit more confident at hearing those words. "Thanks for the moral support. I'll keep at it. Hopefully she'll pay attention to me once she knows me better!"
... ... ... ... ...
After school, Ryoji met up with Nozomi again, and they grabbed a bite at Wild Duck Burger.
"Ryoji, I need to tell you a secret. Just don't freak out, okay?" Nozomi inched his head closer and said in a low voice. "This world is going to end soon. All of humanity will be wiped off the face of the planet."
"W-wiped off the face of...!?" Ryoji blurted out in horror. What made him more uneasy was that the story sounded familiar. For some reason, Ryoji had the impression that the world would really end soon, that all life would end soon... and this caused a chill in his stomach.
"Shhh." Nozomi shushed desperately. "Keep it down. I told you it's a secret!"
"O-okay, sorry."
Nozomi looked around. "Phew, no one seems to have heard it. Okay, moving on. The thing is, we'll build a new land called Paradise, where people will have wings, perfect bodies, and smell like flowers. I'll finally be able to reincarnate into a worthwhile body!"
"... Huh?" The "end of the world" part sounded familiar, but the "Paradise" part threw Ryoji off.
"We can only take a select few to populate Paradise. Since you're my friend, I'm letting you in. I don't want you stuck at the end of the world!"
"A s-select few? Why not save everyone?"
"Because we don't have enough resources to be able to take everyone. This is why our group's asking the chosen few to pay a membership fee, to help rebuild the land and recruit some more people. It's usually 300,000 yen for the initiation fee, scriptures and a few other stuff, but I'll see if we can waive the initiation fee and make it 132,000 for you. What do you say?"
Ryoji had a bad feeling thinking about the end of the world. His chest hurt, and the thought somehow led him to the nightmare from last night, about the oppressing force that turned him into a monster and controlled him, and made him attack Minako and her friends.
The part about Paradise and money, though, was weird. He didn't think Nozomi was trying to steal money from him or anything, but something still sounded off. Ryoji didn't believe money could save people from the end of the world.
"Nozomi-kun, now that you mentioned it, I think I've heard something important about the end of the world, but I don't remember much. I'd like to find out more about it first. Can you give me some time to think?"
"Okay."
"If I remember it or find something else out, I'll let you know."
... ... ... ... ...
It was Tuesday, December 1st, after classes. Ryoji went to the music club, and got the news that one of Keisuke's original compositions had won a competition whose prize was a scholarship at an important music school. Ryoji was glad to hear the news. However, Keisuke himself wasn't as enthusiastic as he should be at such an achievement, though the other club members didn't seem to notice.
After club activities, Ryoji couldn't help but approach Keisuke in private.
"The problem is that I'm torn, Mochizuki-kun. I really like music, but I don't feel this is the path I should be following. My father is a doctor. He wants me to follow his footsteps and become one too, and has been preparing me for that ever since."
"Don't you want to become a doctor? One of the club members told me you're always trying to help people who get sick. To me, it felt as though it's something you like to do. Do you prefer music?"
"I don't know." Keisuke admitted with a heavy sigh. "To be honest, I like both the musical and the medical fields. But everything so far has led me to the path to become a doctor, as though it's my destiny. My fate, the purpose chosen for me even before I was born. I feel as though I shouldn't go against it."
"Fate... true purpose..." Ryoji's gaze became distant for a moment. A memory was threatening to surface, and for some reason he had an unsettling feeling about it. "Yeah, I have something like that too... my true purpose, something I must do..."
"So, you understand. We can't change our fate. All we can do is accept it," Keisuke said resignedly.
Ryoji nodded solemnly.
On his way to the boy's dorm, Ryoji kept reflecting on the talk with Keisuke. The thought about a true purpose bothered him. Ryoji couldn't remember what his true purpose was, but he had known there was something he must do, and had the impression that it was something he actually didn't want to do...
During his whole stay in Iwatodai, Ryoji had chosen to act carefree and only think about having fun. He had done his best to forget about his problems and not think about things that bothered him, but those thoughts were nagging at him more and more lately, and it sounded like he would have to stop running away and muster the courage to face his responsibilities.
He reached his destination, and turned back to glance at the darkening sky one more time before entering the dorm.
"Tomorrow, the moon will be full." Ryoji mumbled to himself. Somehow, he had known for a fact that the moon would be full without having checked a calendar, and even though it wasn't night quite yet.
Still, the sight of the unclouded sky was calming, and Ryoji could tell that the night would be beautiful tonight. It would be perfect for a romantic mood, if only he could find and be with the love of his life, the only person in the world that was the perfect match for him...
Suddenly, a pang of sadness hit him, and Ryoji felt like crying. He chose to stop looking at the sky and went inside the dorm.
That night proved to be rough for him. Ryoji began feeling sick and had a hard time to sleep. He had nightmares he couldn't remember, though the only thing he was sure about was that they gave him dreadful feelings. Ryoji was scared, in the loneliness in the dorm's room.
"I'm scared... I don't want to be alone. Help... someone help me..." However, his pleas came out as whispers and got lost in the darkness. All Ryoji could do was endure.
... ... ... ... ...
The morning of December 2nd arrived, and the alarm on his phone set off. Ryoji still wasn't feeling very well, but he refused to skip school and left the dorm anyway. At least he would have company if he went to school.
After classes, he thought he was feeling better, and chose to visit Junpei and Minako at the Iwatodai dorm.
"Hello, Ryoji-kun." It was Fuuka who opened the door for him.
"Hi, F-Fuuka-chan. I... I..." He suddenly began feeling dizzy, and ended up collapsing right at the door.
Ryoji heard people calling his name, but he lost the grip on his consciousness and blacked out.
When Minako arrived from school, Yukari told her that Ryoji had come to visit but felt sick and collapsed, and they took him to an unoccupied room on the second floor. Minako followed Yukari to the room, where the other SEES members were tending to Ryoji while Koromaru sat near the bed with a worried look. Ryoji was in bed, and had a pained expression.
"Ryoji-kun!" Minako called with worry, but he didn't respond.
"He is unconscious and has a fever too high for human standards." Aigis summarized. "As such, Mitsuru-san has provided an appropriately abnormal ice cube to lower his fever."
Minako's eyebrow rose in amusement. "You mean... from her Persona?"
"Yes." Mitsuru herself confirmed. "A normal ice from the fridge likely wouldn't do. Hopefully this will suffice."
"The full moon must be affecting him. Today is the day." Akihiko reminded everyone.
"Yeah, must be," Junpei said. "I spotted him at school today. But now that I think about it, in the other timeline, he hadn't come to school on the day of the full moon. Then, this had happened the other time too."
Minako felt bad at the way she had treated him, or rather, not treated him in the previous timeline. She hadn't given Pharos the attention he deserved, and had ignored Ryoji. He had suffered so much, and she didn't even know.
Aigis kept monitoring his temperature. It was only an hour later that his fever finally lowered. However, he didn't seem to be feeling better. In fact, he seemed worse. He began grunting and gasping in agony.
"Ryoji-kun!" Minako called out to him. "Ryoji-kun, can you hear me? Say something! Please, talk to me."
Terrifying visions of monsters attacking a school, and people screaming in despair just as they let out their last breaths and had their lives taken out of them. These were the nightmares that were currently plaguing Ryoji. No matter where he looked, he only saw people dying. All those screams of agony called to him, and the more Ryoji tried to ignore them, the louder they became. The terrified screams inundated his hears and made his head hurt. Ryoji couldn't take it anymore, and felt like he would despair too.
"Ryoji-kun!" Suddenly, a familiar voice tore through the screams. "Ryoji-kun, can you hear me? Say something! Please, talk to me."
That familiar voice sounded like music to his ears, and finally pulled Ryoji out of those horrible visions. His eyes slowly fluttered open. At first, he had thought that her voice was part of the dream, but when he looked to his side, she was there. The person he most wanted to get close to, and get along with...
"Mi-Minako. Minako..." He weakly muttered her name. It rolled off his tongue, and he even failed to realize that he had dropped the honorific.
"Alright! You're awake!" She sounded a bit relieved.
Ryoji slowly glanced around. The others were also there, with worry in their faces. Strangely, though, Minako, who had always been rather distant towards him, seemed the most worried of them all. Maybe this was actually the dream.
"Am I? I don't know..." He muttered. "I saw a lot of people screaming, crying, dying... I thought it was just a nightmare, but I'm not sure anymore... I'm scared. There was a time I only wished I could gaze at the blue sky. Now I look at it and it's as beautiful as it should be, but for some reason it makes me want to cry... I've been trying to live in the moment, because I always get scared when I think about the future. I don't want tomorrow to come. I feel it'll come and take everything away, and I don't want that... it's all so scary, so confusing... I'm not sure of anything anymore. I..." A wave of panic struck him, and he gasped. "... No, who... am I? I... I-I'm..."
Everyone traded worried glances.
Minako inched closer to the bed. "You're Ryoji-kun."
Ryoji let out a weak but contented chuckle. "Ah. Thank you. I like it when you say my name. It sounds so soothing, so beautiful... is this... are you a dream? Or... maybe I'm a dream... Minako, please. Touch me. To make sure I'm not a dream, to make sure I really exist..."
"It's all real. You exist, I exist, and everyone else in here too." With pain and pity in her gaze, Minako firmly grasped his hand. "Ryoji-kun, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were suffering so much."
Ryoji found her apology absurd. His suffering was anything but her fault. "Why are you apologizing? You have nothing to do with it... if anyone should apologize, it should b-be-"
She cut him off. "I wish I could've done something for you sooner. But it'll be okay. I'm here now. All of us are. We're all here for you. Ryoji-kun, everything will be okay."
Her words were comforting, and so was the warm touch of her hand holding his. However, instead of making him feel better, it only served to intensify the sadness in Ryoji's heart.
"Thank you, Minako. But this isn't right... you shouldn't be so kind to me. You shouldn't..." Ryoji sobbed, and a liquid began spilling out of his eyes. "These are... tears?" He muttered. "I'm crying, aren't I? I don't think I've ever cried before..."
"Ryoji-kun..." Minako whispered his name, and Yukari tossed a handkerchief over to her. "Everything will be okay." Minako repeated gently as she wiped his tears with the handkerchief.
Tears kept leaving Ryoji's eyes. Minako was still saying comforting words into his ears, but Ryoji couldn't make anything out anymore. His consciousness slowly faded until it eventually slipped out of his grasp again.
... ... ... ... ...
Ryoji jolted awake, who knows how much time later. He quickly rolled out of bed and startled everyone present.
"R-Ryoji-kun!" Minako called out in both worry and surprise.
That moment, Ryoji had a scary feeling. He felt that he was losing the grip on himself, and might accidentally hurt her.
"Stay away from me!" Was the panicked shout that left his mouth, and made everyone freeze in their tracks. "It's calling to me... the Moonlight Bridge..." Ryoji mumbled to no one in particular, and his feet began carrying him towards the room's door.
"Ryoji-kun!" Now it was Fuuka calling after him, but he didn't turn back.
As if in a daze, Ryoji opened the door and left the room. After a few more steps, he felt lighter. He was no longer in a physical form. He didn't remember if he had taken seconds or minutes traveling through the air, but when he came to his senses again, he was back to a physical form and was standing on the Moonlight Bridge. The moment he saw the twisted green sky and eerie full moon, his memories crashed down at once.
X:X:X:X:X
It all began with the visions of the monsters attacking a school, people screaming in agony and dying. These visions had called out to him, as though telling him that it was time to awaken and fulfill his duty. However, when he awakened, he couldn't even remember what his duty was.
He had come to his senses in a laboratory of some sort, jolted awake by a sudden and unbearable pain that coursed through his whole being as though something had been violently ripped out of him, maybe more than one thing. He was lost and confused, with no memories about himself, nor about why he was there. All he was sure about was that he needed to fulfill a specific purpose, but he couldn't remember what this purpose was.
He didn't quite remember what he did, but things exploded all around him, and he escaped from the laboratory or whatever humans called it. He wandered aimlessly in despair, in search of answers about who he was and what to do. When he got to a huge bridge, that blonde robot girl appeared. But instead of providing any answer, she attacked him.
"Target detected. Entering battle mode." Her words came out in a monotone, and made no sense whatsoever. But she furiously shot a volley of projectiles from her fingers, and made her intention perfectly clear. She wanted to destroy him.
"Why?" Was the question he had wanted to pose. However, it didn't come out as a word, but rather as a piercing roar. "Why? Why? Why?!" Why did she want to destroy him? What had he done to deserve that? Not even he knew who he was. Did she know? He needed those answers, but how could he make her answer him? He didn't know. So, he did the only things he knew how to do. He desperately charged towards her and slashed and roared. However, she didn't give him any answer. Her only response was the use of violence.
She wasn't that strong, but what she lacked in strength, she made up for in persistence. But he was persistent, too. He shot energy rays, slashed, tackled, and knocked her to the ground several times, and he was determined to keep doing that until she gave him the answers he wanted. Her body was sparking all over the place, but she still refused to give up, and worse, refused to give him answers.
She changed tactics. "Persona summoning sequence..."
A creature burst out from her and tried to attack him. It didn't even manage to hit him, but the girl insisted on attacking and calling upon the creature to help her. Neither the girl or the creature could match his strength and speed. He could easily have destroyed her if he had wanted to, but he didn't want to do that because she seemed to know who he was, and at the moment, seemed to be his only hope of getting answers. It was obvious that the battle was going nowhere. Why couldn't shy understand? He just wanted answers, nothing more!
Their attacks caused a lot of destruction in the scenery around them. He shot an energy ray that she managed to dodge, but it hit a human car in the distance and set it on fire. The next energy ray hit the robot and sent her flying into a pile of wreckage.
As he stood on the bridge and glanced around, he saw a little human girl running from the direction that the car had set on fire. Scared and out of breath, the little human child sat on the ground and began praying with her eyes closed. When she raised her head and opened her eyes, their gazes met. She paled, her face filled with fear, and she fainted.
The nearby wreckage exploded outwards, and the robot girl was back on her feet once more.
"Persona summoning sequence. Palladion." The robot girl mechanically called upon the creature once more.
He was getting annoyed at her insistence on performing those futile moves. He furiously slashed at the creature with his blade, then quickly followed with a slash at the robot girl, and increased her sparking spots by one.
"Calculations complete. Probability of eliminating target is 3.1743333333%. Probability is too low. Falling back to emergency measures." Her eyes darted around, until they focused on the unconscious little human girl fallen near a lot of debris. "Suitable host detected. Initiating sealing sequence..."
And the next thing he knew, he was trapped.
X:X:X:X:X
He remembered everything now. How he came to be, how he was trapped, all those years he was trapped inside Minako and could do nothing other than observe her, until he finally became able to come out during the Dark Hour. His interactions with her, all the enjoyable moments he had spent with her as Pharos...
Once he had managed to break free from his prison, he had tried to forget everything again and happily live in ignorance for a bit longer. However, now his fun moments would officially come to an end. The moon was full and was making his presence stronger. Nyx could detect his presence at any moment, and his only option would be to submit to her and act as her avatar to trigger the Fall.
All life would end very soon. The Fall was inevitable, and no one would be able to escape it. He didn't want to break this news to Minako and her friends. The best he could do was carry out his previous plan of making them forget. He would have Minako defeat him in battle, and this would cause her and her friends to forget everything about the Dark Hour and Personas, and they would lead a peaceful life until the end came.
Thanks to both his warning to Minako and also that man Ikutsuki's words, the SEES members were aware that they would have to face the thirteenth Arcana Shadow. He was sure that they would be here at any moment. When he said goodbye to Minako as Pharos, he had implied that they wouldn't meet again. Hopefully, she wouldn't recognize him.
With their interactions while Ryoji had been sick, Minako's social link ranked up again. When he suddenly got up and left, the SEES members tried to go after him, but when they stepped through the door, he was gone.
"We already know where he's going, though," Akihiko said.
"Yeah, he even muttered something about Moonlight Bridge." Junpei observed. "Let's go!"
SEES headed to the Moonlight Bridge, and just like in the previous timeline, there he was.
"Ryoji-kun!" Minako called out to him.
"Ryoji!" Followed by Junpei. "Are you alright?"
"Ah, it's you..." Ryoji greeted them in a neutral manner, then glanced at the sky. "The moon is full. You have been fighting powerful creatures during the full moon, right? Then, you must be here because-"
"We were looking for you!" Fuuka interrupted him.
"Ah, I see. You can sense presences from a distance, wasn't that so? You tried to locate me, and got here... but haven't you also felt something odd about me?"
It was Junpei who answered. "You're acting weird."
Ryoji heaved a sigh. "I felt that this bridge was calling to me, that I should come here for some reason. The moment I set foot on here, I remembered. My name is not Ryoji Mochizuki." He paused for effect. "I am Death, the thirteenth Arcana Shadow. In other words, the last one you will have to fight."
Everyone's expressions hardened.
"We don't want to fight you!" Minako protested.
"You don't understand." Ryoji responded. "I've taken an interest in this world, and decided to forget about my true purpose and live here for some time, as the boy you got to know as Ryoji Mochizuki. But now, the full moon made me remember. I am a Shadow. I am Death, the Appriser. The one who will cause Nyx to descend and trigger the Fall. In other words, the end of all life..."
"But it's obvious that you really like this world." Minako argued. "You actually don't want it to end, do you!?"
Ryoji made a pained face. "What I want does not matter. The mere fact that I have awakened means that humans yearn for the Fall. It is the sign to Nyx that she should come, and even if I don't do anything, she will detect my presence sooner or later and descend. If you wish to stop that, then your only choice is to defeat me before she can notice me."
Minako had known that it was a lie. He couldn't be defeated. If they, or rather, she, were to defeat him, what would happen would be that they would forget everything related to Personas and the Dark Hour. It had been one of the choices he had given them in the previous timeline. Either "kill" him and live oblivious to the Fall that would come, or face Nyx head on in a battle almost impossible to win. Minako could say, "almost," because they had won the other time. Or rather, hadn't lost, and the solution she had found had been a workaround at best. Still, no way that they would choose the other option. They had accepted that second chance to try to convince Ryoji to find another solution, after all.
"No, that's all wrong!" Minako shouted. "Ryoji-kun!"
"I've already told you. That's not my name!" He shot back as though he were losing his temper, though Minako could tell he was bluffing. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have yelled at her like that. The closest to that she could think of was when Pharos had had that non-alcoholic drink at Club Escapade, but again, that hadn't been a "normal circumstance," either.
"But I know you like this name! Earlier, when you were feeling sick and we were tending to you, you told me you like when I say this name."
"Yeah. We were there, and all of us heard it." Yukari added for good measure.
"Arf!" Even Koromaru confirmed it.
For a split second, Ryoji looked touched. But then he bit his lip and tried to regain his composure. "It seems like all of you got too attached to this image, this seemingly human image... fine. I will show you. This image is just a facade. It is not my true form!"
Ryoji transformed into Thanatos, and everyone gasped in surprise at this action that hadn't happened in the other timeline.
"This is..." Mitsuru uttered.
"Now you understand, do you not? I am not human! I am Death, the thirteenth Arcana Shadow!"
Junpei grinned. "Hey, when did we say that we doubted you? After seeing a robot with a Persona and a dog with a Persona, we don't doubt anything anymore, you know?"
"Ryoji-kun, please stop." It was the robot with a Persona speaking. "Battling you is meaningless!"
"Hmm, even you? I had not expected you to also address me by that name." He chuckled. "And it is ironic that you are the one saying these things now. You are behaving the complete opposite from that day we battled, ten years ago. I had awakened lost and confused after having the other Arcana Shadows forcefully ripped apart from me. While all I had wanted were answers about my identity and my true purpose, you had responded with nothing but violence, even though it was clear that you had no chance of winning, that it was a meaningless battle..."
"Ten years ago..." Akihiko echoed.
"Come to think of it, we still do not know much about what happened in that battle," Mitsuru said.
"Very well. If you wish to know the details, I will show you."
"... What is this!?" Yukari exclaimed.
"It's like a vision, a movie playing in our minds..." Fuuka concluded. "Yukari-chan, you can see it too?"
"Yeah. It... it's... the lab where my dad worked!"
Surprised murmurs from the other SEES members confirmed that everyone was having the same vision. Ryoji was showing them a "movie" of sorts. Everything happened quickly. The lab exploded, Death escaped and left a lot of destruction in his wake, the battle against Aigis...
And Minako gasped in shock. The car exploding in the distance could only be her parents' car! Her memories of the day her parents died had never been very clear, but now, those visions made her remember them more vividly than ever before.
X:X:X:X:X
Minako and her parents were in the family's car, on the way back from her father's friend's birthday party that had ended very late. Minako fell asleep, but a loud noise startled her awake. The car was in flames. A coffin was on the seat her mother should have been, and her father's hands desperately flailed out of another coffin.
"Minako!" His voice came out muffled from inside the coffin.
"D-dad!?"
"Minako, run!" He managed to open one of the car's doors and shove her outside before he lost the battle and the coffin closed around him.
Minako fell to the ground. "Dad! Mom!" She shouted after her parents, but the flaming car sped away, out of control, and left her behind.
Minako shakily got back on her feet, and when she looked at the sky, it had an eerie tone of green and the full moon looked menacing. Minako screamed in horror. No one was around, and the only thing that occurred to her was to try to run and get out of there.
She trembled in fear, and ran aimlessly to wherever her shaky legs managed to carry her. It wasn't long until her legs gave way and she fell to a sitting position on the ground.
"Mom, dad, I'm w-waiting. Please g-get out of the car soon..." Minako closed her eyes, joined her hands and prayed. It was all that she could do at the moment.
Then, she heard a movement noise. Maybe someone was coming. When she raised her head and opened her eyes to risk a glance, she saw something horrifying. It was a monster carrying a blade and a lot of coffins. This was much for her to handle. Minako froze in fear, and fainted.
The next time she woke up, everything seemed to be back to normal. No eerie green skies or menacing full moons, and her first thought was that those scary things had been just a nightmare. Unfortunately, she soon learned that they had really happened. The harsh proof was that her parents were dead.
X:X:X:X:X