Chapter 21
'Are you going to eat that or just spend lunchtime making patterns on the china?' Kate joked.
Caroline stared down at her own full plate and then across the table at Kate's empty one. Her hands dropped to her lap, her head down.
'Penny for them, Caroline. If you're having second thoughts, please tell me,' Kate continued. Still her wife didn't say anything and a few moments later Kate whispered, 'You're really worrying me now.'
She reached across the table, gently cradling Caroline's chin in her hands before exerting gentle pressure to lift the blonde's head until their eyes locked. Tears were evident in the blue eyes, pink lips were trembling. A brief sob escaped and Caroline looked to one side before taking a deep breath and returning to meet Kate's wondering, troubled face. As she looked into the face of her wife a brief blink from Caroline set one teardrop free to drop onto the top of her pale, quivering right cheek. The back of Kate's hand stroked the moisture away.
'No second, third or fourth thoughts, Kate. How can you be so calm and, and, oh I don't know, contained? And hungry!' She made an attempt at lightening the mood but the effort was futile and her face continued to tell the real story. 'I feel like I'm drowning. I'm so scared, Kate. I so want our baby. Please, don't you be scared. I'm not backing out. Gosh, what a pitiful support I am! I'm so sorry.'
Kate walked around the table and lifted Caroline to her feet.
'We can, and will, do this, sweetheart. But I tell you what, while I trust you explicitly, on this occasion I am going to be the one to drive!'
The tears were mixed with laughter and the brightness of hope shone through, like a rainbow in the sky after a short shower of rain. Caroline rallied enough to manage half a cup of coffee and within a few minutes Kate was behind the wheel of the Jeep, taking them towards the next step of the baby plan.
The next two hours seemed to pass in a daze. Kate went straight through to see Dr Williams who made both women feel at ease. After a final check on Kate's blood pressure, further confirmation of the procedure, success rates and being advised to carry on their lives as normally as they possibly could, Kate laid back on the bed with Caroline at her side holding her hand.
After the procedure the women were left on their own and it was then that they both cried and held one another as the realisation of what could be sunk in.
Half an hour later, the women were driving home with Caroline at the helm and smiles as broad as Cheshire cats. They spoke excitedly over one another, listening and talking at the same time with Caroline insisting that Kate take things easy. Kate was equal in her assertion that she wouldn't be doing any such thing.
'Please don't treat me with kid gloves, love. I'm possibly pregnant, not injured or disabled.' Brown eyes pleaded with blue.
'Listen young lady, you are my precious love carrying our precious cargo. There's no way you are doing anything that will jeopardise either one of you,' flinty blue eyes backed up the loving, yet stern reply.
'Caroline. You are a scientist correct? And you have a logical mind.' She nodded in agreement but cast her eyes down as she guessed at the rational statement that was coming.
'Do you really think that me doing the shopping, changing the sheets, or cooking dinner is going to determine whether my egg gets fertilised or not? If so then you need to write a paper on how and get it published.' She squeezed her wife's hand and smiled broadly.
'Don't tease; I lost all sense of logic when I fell in love with you.' Caroline replied. Lifting her left hand off the steering wheel, she took Kate's right that was resting on her lap and pressed it again her cheek before gently kissing it three times. One for you, one for me and one for the baby.'
'And I want to give you a kiss for every time you've made me smile but right now if you want to take care of me, keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel, Mrs.'
The irony wasn't lost on the blonde; she looked lovingly at the woman who changed her life beyond measure and gave her a life time of happiness every day.
'I love you Kate McKenzie-Dawson. Please don't ever change.' Caroline felt her heart swell and beat slightly faster.
'And I love you more than I can ever explain. Thank you for being my wife; there's no one else I want to be on this journey with.' Tears filled Kate's dark eyes that were filled with love for the beautiful blonde sitting next to her.
During the last 10 minutes of the drive home both women sat in silence, touching hands intermittently but their eyes said it all. Blue eyes shone like diamonds and brown eyes glistened like black opals.
Caroline was surprised at how normal the evening was. A meal – no wine for either – and a brief visit from Celia and Alan, who had returned from his canal trip. Supportive as ever, he was interested in the clinic visit but he had agreed with Celia that it would not be appropriate for either of the Buttershaws to raise the subject. He was keen not to stay for long, being tired and wanting an early start the following day to head back to the farm. Gillian and Robbie had flown back from Spain that day and although Alan had received a text from Raff saying that they were home, he had not personally heard from his daughter, and as he could not get her on the phone he was anxious to check that all was well. Caroline and Kate were not sorry to see them head back to their flat as they too wanted to go to bed. The day had been emotionally and physically draining and, unexpectedly, they were soon both fast asleep, the slightly shorter woman cocooning her wife.
In a Harrogate police station a lonely male had a less comfortable night. His supposed love for his ex-wife was, as ever, moulded largely by his fear of being alone. Having been unable to accept that her new love was not the reason for the breakdown in his marriage, and always one to consider that success and self-worth were dependant on the presence of a woman on his arm and in his bed, he had spent a mawkish day since he saw ex-wife and her new partner together.
Having tried unsuccessfully to phone another woman who he had convinced himself he loved, he reverted to his usual form of liquid solace and before teatime that day he had become totally incapacitated. Unfortunately for him, but fortunately for other motorists, he was reported to the Police by a man walking his dog who had witnessed the drunken novelist urinating in a lay-by and then collapsing onto the bonnet of his car. So, the long and the short of it was that his day was destined to end on a thin plastic mattress in a sparse cell where peeling paint barely covered the bricks of the wall. His restless, drunken stupor was occasionally interrupted by mumbled shouts of 'Bloody lesbian dykes' and 'she's still my wife' which royally entertained the custody sergeant on his hourly checks of the cell. John's inebriated state finally got the better of him and while Caroline slept cradling her wife, John's night was spent clasping the custody suite's rough, threadbare, musty blanket.