John knows Clara is hiding something, Clara has developed feelings for John... sooner or later, something is bound to happen. Thank you guys so much for reading and writing your comments! We're closing in on the end now with only 10 chapters remaining :)

Chapter 51

"Shit!" John cursed loudly and almost spat the hot beverage back out before he resisted the impulse to do so and swallowed the coffee that went on to burn his throat along with his tongue. It was the third time he had accidentally hurt himself today and it wasn't even noon yet. First, his hand had got caught in the door, then, he had dropped a paperweight on his foot. At this rate, he was going to injure himself severely before the day was over.

Angry at the hot coffee and himself, he set the mug back on the table, but not without noticing the look that Kate threw in his direction. John thought that she looked as if she was about to say something.

"Are you going to tell me why you're in such a foul mood or is it something you don't want to talk about?" his boss enquired after a couple of minutes. She dropped her eyes to the photographs in front of her – the evidence they had collected in Ciaran O'Neill's room – to give him the privacy to answer.

"I don't know what you mean," John growled in reply. "We still haven't finished sorting through all the photos and I'm beginning to lose hope that there's anything useful in there at all."

It was a lie. A big, blatant lie. The truth was that every time he looked at one of O'Neill's photos, he saw Clara and his mind went back to everything that had happened last night. The longer he thought about it, the stranger it seemed to him and it wasn't helping that this morning, Clara had been acting as if the previous night hadn't happened at all. If she wasn't ready to start something new, why had she slept with him in the first place? Why had she given him hope only to take it away from him? Maybe she was torn about the matter, maybe she was feeling all the things he had felt after River regardless of his promises and reassurances and maybe, once her head was clearer, she would decide whether she wanted to be with him or not. Or maybe it was something else entirely.

There was something he was deliberately trying not to think about and it was what had happened immediately before they slept together. It was the fact that he had almost looked inside the box Clara had given him. What if the sex had been nothing but a distraction to keep him away from whatever was hidden in that strange box inside his safe? No, John didn't want to believe that to be true.

"See, I'm thinking this is about Clara," Kate said, tearing him out of his thoughts. "She told me you have something going on."

John's head shot up in an instant and he stared at her in disbelief. Clara had admitted that? To his boss?

"Well, she didn't say it like that," Kate went on to explain, "but she didn't deny it either. The way it sounded, you were having Schrödinger's relationship."

His face contorted into a frown as he considered her odd choice of words and all of a sudden, Kate rolled her eyes as if he was extremely slow on the uptake.

"Like you're in a relationship but also not in a relationship," his boss elaborated.

John had to admit that it was quite a fitting description. "Sounds about right," he mumbled in reply and lowered his head to look at the photos once again. More pictures of Bonnie in London and no clue as to why O'Neill had taken them other than it seemed like something he generally did a lot.

"If you want my advice-"

"I don't," John growled, not even bothering to look at Kate. His boss had no idea what was going on between them – what good could her advice possible be?

Kate ignored his protests and went on anyway. "It's been fairly obvious from the beginning that you fancy each other. Don't ask me why, but it was hard to miss that fact."

He almost scoffed. This was his boss, who had warned him on several occasions not to fraternise with a suspect, yet now she was trying to help him?

"I don't know what's holding either of you back, but a nice gesture from you certainly wouldn't hurt," his old friend remarked. "God knows my ex-husband was negligent in that department."

John wished that he could tell her about everything he had discovered and he wasn't entirely sure why he was holding back from doing so. The photograph of Bonnie in front of Clara's house, the strange box Clara was hiding – something about it just reeked of hidden secrets. Was he ignoring them on purpose because he liked her? Was he scared to investigate or ask Clara about them because there was a chance he might discover something he wouldn't like? Or did he know for sure that it had nothing to do with the case? John couldn't say, so he decided to focus on Kate instead.

"What? You're telling me to get her flowers or something like that?" he wanted to know, the tone of his voice dismissive.

Kate, however, shrugged. "Flowers never hurt anybody."

The staff meeting was dreadfully dull and even though Clara tried to focus on whatever the headteacher was telling them about students skipping lessons and how to deal with it, her mind kept wandering off. Back in London, that would have been a real issue, but most of her students here were actually good and too well-behaved to even think about bunking off school. Maybe it was the lack of bad influences up here in the middle of nowhere, but the fact was, the headteacher was wasting their time.

So instead of listening to any more, Clara's mind wandered back to a more pressing matter and that was John and all of her secrets. If she had had doubts before, she now knew that his feelings for her were honest and she didn't believe for a second that he wouldn't keep his promise and wait until she was ready to move on – whenever that would be. She wanted to, she really did, but somehow, Danny was still present in her mind and he would stay there until his murderer was locked up in prison. There just wasn't any room for anything else in her head. But John had found a way into her heart, disregarding all of her vows, against all the odds and Clara just couldn't let him go because he was the first glimmer of hope she had had since that dreadful day she had received the news about Danny's death. After last night, Clara hadn't been able to make up her mind. If anything, she felt even more torn because the shadows of her secrets were still looming over her along with the question of what would happen if John ever found out about them. Maybe telling him was the only way to get rid of the uncertainty – but that meant abandoning her promise and risking that John may never trust her again.

Clara didn't even notice when the headteacher finished his speech and it was only when the other teachers started to get up that she awoke from her trance and she decided to do the same. The crowd of her colleagues was pushing her towards the exit where John would already be waiting for her, without a doubt. What was she going to say to him? How would she act around him now when she still hadn't made up her mind? Clara knew that it was pointless to brood over it because every time she was with John, things were different. He had that effect on her – a way of making her want to stay. It was only when she was on her own and left to her own thoughts that the doubts returned.

The same doubts lifted when she left the building and spotted him standing next to his car with a shy smile and bouquet of flowers in his hands.

"What are those for?" she asked John once she had reached him, unable to stop the grin that spread across her face or the way her heart suddenly beat a little faster. Yes, he definitely had that effect on her and Clara had to admit that she liked it.

John shrugged. "Your staff meeting took too long and I got bored," he said casually, nodding towards the flower shop across the road. "Started browsing in the shop over there and it seemed rude to leave without buying something."

It was a lie and not a very convincing one, so Clara decided to still be flattered. John was good with words, but not quite as good at expressing his feelings with them. The flowers were a sweet gesture and she appreciated them very much, so much that she actually started to blush a little when he handed them to her.

"They're very pretty," she remarked and looked up, smiling at him. "Thank you."

Just as she had predicted, the doubts had evaporated and Clara pushed herself up on tiptoes and – out here, in the middle of the street where everyone could see – kissed him.