Rise - Confidant
Rise Kujikawa stared at the screaming masses outside. Their adoration roared throughout the night, enhanced by the rainbow lights and the music of the opening band. She closed her eyes, allowing the full wave of music and screams to drown her. Drowning... That was the perfect word for it. Their voices were a raging storm, a massive tidal wave that slammed her deeper into the inky abyss. She was lost in their sea of chanting, hearing her name again and again.
"RI~SETTE! RI~SETTE! RI~SETTE! RI~SETTE!"
Except... It wasn't really her name they were chanting.
It was the name of the girl on all the posters outside. The girl who was about to run on stage and sing some cliche, generic pop song to the teen demographic. It wasn't her. Not a single person out there cared for Rise Kujikawa. They came here for the diva, the idol, the 'perfect' girl of their fantasies. They came for...
"R~SETTE! RI~SETTE! RI~SETTE!"
Her fingers coiled and squeezed the microphone. She held it tighter and tighter, feeling the pressure inside of her. She felt her soul raging, crying out with every chant of that stupid, fake name. It was coming to a boiling point. She tried putting a lid on the resentment and frustration, like so many times before, but it wasn't going to hold. It didn't stop her from exploding.
"I quit." Then she put on her mask and ran out, waving and beaming to the crowd. "Here I go!"
"Senpai? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just wanted a second opinion."
"Alright... I'm free tomorrow, around noon?"
"Cool. Meet me at the shrine in the shopping district."
"Right."
"..."
"..."
"Uhh... B-bye..."
"Right! B-bye, Senpai."
It wasn't like Yu-Senpai to be so nervous. It wasn't like him to ask for advice either, though. We all usually rely on him, Rise thought. Then again, it's not like he's been acting like himself recently...
The depression. The lifelessness. The emptiness. The way his eyes lacked that glimmer of life. After that kiss with Naoto, he seemed completely different. It was like there was this huge story being told, and she was just getting brief glimmers of it. Rise let out a heavy sigh and shook her head as she walked towards the shrine. "Okay, think Rise. Focus. What do you know...?"
Senpai loves Naoto. That much is obvious. He loves him, er- her. Whenever she's around, he acts different. Really different. He's sad, he's angry, and...I don't know...
She still wasn't sure what to think of the encounter between the Investigation Team and Naoto's Shadow.
Rise couldn't believe their silver-haired leader. Yu Narukami challenged the Shadow all by himself. It was stupid! It was suicide! She wanted to argue and yell and grab him, but one look from those silver eyes told her all she needed to hear.
'I need to do this. Please, give me this chance.'
It was still stupid, still suicidal, but he just looked so desperate. He needed this. He needed to face her. Rise didn't really understand it, but when did she ever? So she just sat back, mouth agape like a deer in the way of a car. No. She was on the sidelines, watching a deer walk towards a speeding car, facing it head on.
He shouted at them not to help. He sounded so angry. She'd never heard him sound so angry. Never seen him with such a fire in his eyes. He was always so stoic. Sometimes, he'd rarely even say a word, but whenever Naoto was involved, he was just... different.
It was an awful feeling, watching him fight and knowing she couldn't help. Not that she ever did help. All she did was watch from the background, stating the obvious and acting as the group's cheerleader while they risked their lives. Just a girl who couldn't fight, a damsel waiting to be saved.
The feeling melded with her own self-loathing, and together they sat at the bottom of her gut. Together they twisted and writhed inside of her, robbing her face of warmth and color. She saw the two fight, saw them leave the room as they yelled at each other. Naoto, her Shadow, kept calling Yu a sycophant... Whatever that meant.
"Himiko up!" Rise commanded. She needed to do something. She wasn't going to just sit back and hope for the best. At the very least, this way she could see how the fight was going. She tried telling the others, describing the battle. She didn't say a word about what was said between the two lovers.
Shadow Naoto was fast. It was able to outmaneuver Yu's Personas, and it gave just as hard as it was given. Whether or not her Senpai would win the fight was not the biggest mystery on her mind, though. No, it was the way he acted.
Yu Narukami was stoic. A leader who led with only a few words. No nonsense. The most expressive he had ever gotten was a small, friendly smile. Yet here, with Naoto's Shadow, he was different. He swore. He shouted. Hell, if Rise didn't know better, it was like he was openly flirting with the robot.
Suddenly, there was steam everywhere. The others could see the traces of it, but Rise was the only one to see the truth beyond it. She bit her lip, that same feeling in her gut returning. This was insane. They should all be there! They should have been helping him! Not standing here!
"More repulsed than anything else. Even now you hide behind bravado and that pompous mask! You are a living lie, much like my myself. You conceal yourself behind a wall of affectations and facades, lying to yourself, trying to be what you could never be, just like I! Your words and actions, your very voice, hold a level of pretension that betray your true self. Ostentation! You display intellect and wisdom when you nary have enough for yourself, fool!"
What was Naoto talking about? Rise didn't even know what some of those words meant. The craziest thing was how Yu reacted. He moved so fast. He froze the robotic Shadow to the wall and jumped onto her. He looked her dead in the eyes, not knowing of his silent audience. The things he said to Naoto... They changed everything Rise knew about the silverette.
"Naoto! I'm sorry...! You're completely fucking right! I am a liar... I love you..."
He kissed her. He kissed the lipless Shadow, and Rise could see the yearning in his eyes. The desire. The hatred for the mask he made himself. It felt familiar. Like, for a moment she and the silver-haired leader were the same. Then he summoned his Persona and electrocuted them both at once.
"Senpai!" Rise screamed, her voice drowned out by the clap of thunder. She was the first to move, running towards the rumble. The others followed.
They found Naoto's Shadow fading away in a blue fire, shrinking back down to the bipolar child in an overgrown labcoat. They found Yu on the ground, badly burned and unconscious. The Shadow stared at his still body, her face was unreadable, a strange mix of pity and hate... She then turned away and walked past the group, back towards her copy.
Rise sighed again. She was almost at the shrine. Senpai was probably waiting for her. Sure took my sweet time getting here...
And she knew exactly why she did. The truth was she wasn't sure what she was getting into. What had Naoto meant by him being a liar? And Yu even confessed to it! So he was a liar? He wasn't as brave or wise as he pretended to be? What exactly did it all mean? Was he just not as smart as he acted? Somehow Rise thought this went a lot deeper than that...
There were so many questions on the tip of her tongue, she wasn't sure how she was going to talk to the silverette now.
So she did what she always did when she was afraid. She put on her 'idol face' and walked with a confident and alluring wave of her hip. "Senpai! Hey!" Rise found the boy sitting on a bench and waved to him. He saw her and smiled, waving right back. She used to see that smile as comforting and charming, the kind that a knight would give the damsel in distress.
Now, all she could think was: are you faking that smile, Senpai?
"Hello, Rise-chan." His voice sounded just like it always did. Kind, friendly, and soft.
It does sound kind of forced. Has it always been like that?
She waited for him to tell her why she was here. He waited for her to ask. They stared at one another. An awkward silence filled the air as they just gave each other a plastic grin. In the end, Rise was the one who made the first move.
"Senpai?" He tilted his head to the side, staring at her quizzically. He still had that fake smile on his face. "When you asked me out, and I said no... I... I sort of lied when I told you why I didn't say yes..." He didn't say anything. He just kept on faking a smile. It was starting to just come off unnerving now. "Do you remember when you saved me?"
Chocolate eyes met silver ones. Arms, strong and warm, held her. A smile, like Prince Charming gave Sleeping Beauty, greeted her as she stirred awake. "H-huh...? What happened?"
"Are you okay, Rise-chan?"
"H-huh?"
"It's okay. We're here to save you. Everything is going to be okay." His voice was so kind. He sounded like a knight in shining armor, someone she could trust, someone she felt safe being around. "Can you stand?"
"Y-yeah..." He helped her stand. She stumbled, but he caught her. He held her in his arms, shielding her from the bright lights around them.
"Easy... I got you."
Her cheeks turned redder, and for a moment, she wanted to stay there forever.
Yu's face lost that charismatic smile. He was still smiling, but Rise couldn't help but think it looked... different. Like it wasn't a real smile anymore, or maybe it never was and Rise was just now starting to realize it. It looked more like a parody of a smile. A satirical joke on everyone who bought it.
"S-Senpai... When I first met you, I thought... I thought I really, really liked you, and- and I still do! But I think I started noticing things about you..." He wasn't looking at her. He was looking in her direction, but he wasn't looking at her. His eyes were unfocused, like they couldn't meet Rise's. Is... Is Senpai scared? "You were like me. You were hiding behind a mask. Like how I would pretend to be Risette... I think that's why I said no. Because I was scared, because I saw too much of me in you. I was scared and... and I just panicked."
Yu let out a quiet breath. It sounded dismissive.. He kept on smiling, but she could see the twitch in his lips. "Rise, I... I don't really know what you're talking about. What you see is what you get." He looked away. He stared at a tree, finding the bark suddenly very captivating. "I should get going, actually. I just remembered I promised Nanako-"
"No!" Rise shocked herself with the sound of her voice. She gulped and walked closer, planting herself down beside the older boy. She sat beside him, noticing him shuffle a few inches away from her. He glanced at her, before darting his eyes away again as he took in a deep, shaky breath. She lifted her hand to touch his shoulder, and she watched him flinch again. She hesitated, before dropping her hand back to her side. "You called me here to talk. So let's talk."
"I was just going to make sure you were okay. I-"
"Senpai, are you... Are you scared?"
"I'm not. I'm fine." His voice was quivering. "I need to go."
"Please. Senpai, stay. Yu... You're my friend." She placed her small, dainty hand on his. He pulled away and muttered something as he balled his hand into a fist.
"...on't..."
"Huh?"
"Don't."
"Yu? Please, you can talk to me. What's wro-?"
"Don't call me your friend."
He stood up. Actually, it was more like he shot up like a rocket. That sardonic smile was gone. He was scowling at Rise, glaring at her with such anger. The glimmer in his eyes changed. It was the difference between a knight's armor, and the sword he used to skewer his enemies. It just shined differently. His hands were squeezed into shaking fists. "Fuck..."
"S-Senpai?"
"Shut up." His voice wasn't kind, nor was it gentle. It was low, almost snarling. She had never heard him sound like that. "This was a big fucking mistake. Just forget I even asked..." He tried to walk away. He turned his body, he took one step, and all Rise could do was watch him go. She felt paralyzed. Her body was stiff as he took another step.
"Wait!" She pleaded for him to stop. He didn't. She pleaded again, harder this time. She stumbled off of the bench and grabbed the bottom of his shirt, tugging him back with all her strength. He stopped, and faced her with a sullen look in his eyes. She stared back. She swore she could see her own reflection in his eyes. She looked scared. Desperate.
She looked away, towards the ground. "I saw everything." He didn't say anything. She took in a deep breath, and exhaled, calming her racing heart. "I saw you and Naoto's Shadow." She looked at him, and in her heart she knew, she was looking at the real Yu. His lips opened, but no words came out. His eyes widened, but they didn't look away. He stared at her with shaky, steady breaths.
"Y-you saw?"
"And heard."
"..." Yu grabbed her hand. She gasped slightly, before crying out in pain as he forced her to let go, squeezing her wrist. "God damn it..." He held her hand in his iron grip.
"S-Senpai, you're hurting me..."
"..." Yu released her and turned to face her completely. He swallowed spit up and bit the inside of his cheek. He looked at the ground and kept chewing on it. He couldn't look her in the eyes.
"You said... You admitted that you were a liar. What did you mean by that?" Silence. "Naoto sees the real you... Who... Who is the real you?" No answer. "Senpai, please. Talk to me! You called me here to talk, and I'm not leaving until I help you!"
"Fine. You want to help?" He stepped closer. She stood her ground. "You want answers? Here you fucking go. The truth, Miss Rise Kujikawa, is that I'm a fucking scumbag!" She flinched from his sudden shouting, watching with wide eyes as she saw a side of Yu she never knew existed. "You want to know who the real Yu Narukami is?! The real Yu Narukami is a scumbag who cheated on everyone he's ever dated! I don't give a shit about you!" He jabbed a finger into her shoulder, making her wince. "And I don't give a shit about this stupid, fucking town! All I wanted was to have some fun and fuck an idol!"
Rise was shocked by the sudden and crude declaration. She had no idea what secrets Yu was hiding, but never had she thought he was so... so... She closed her eyes, holding back tears as his words cut like a knife.
He stared at her and a crooked grin formed on his face. "Yeah. I know. Here he is, the hero of your dreams, and it turns out he's just another perverted asshole who just wants to get with an idol. Get over it." He tried to walk away again, only to stop as he felt a familiar tug on his shirt. "Seriously? What the hell do you want?" He twisted his neck, glaring at her fingers. They were holding onto him, desperately. "Let go, Rise."
"No." It was quiet, but firm.
"Are you deaf or just stupid?" Yu grabbed his shirt and pulled it out of her hands. "I-"
"What about Naoto?"
"Excuse you?" growled Yu.
"You said you loved her. You admitted what you did was wrong. You weren't faking it then. If you can apologize and mean it, you can't be as bad as you say you."
"You really are some air-headed bimbo."
The words stung, and this whole thing was just insane. She was scared, her heart was racing, but Rise wasn't just going to back down. She knew where she was. She watched the road before her split into two different paths. She could let his words hit her, let them tear her down and she'd just walk away. They'd pretend this never happened. They'd wear their masks and nothing more would come out of it.
"I don't love Naoto. I just... I'm leaving." He tried walking away again. His voice trembled. He lashed out at her just moments ago, but now... Now he was scared.
Was the anger a mask? Like Risette was hers?
I am so tired of masks...! They sucked, they were awful, and this was all crap! She looked at the first path and she knew it wasn't an option. So she walked down the other path and spoke from her heart. "Stop lying!" She grabbed his shoulder and spun him around, making him face her. His eyes were wide with shock once more as she began to scold him. He could only watch as she flailed her arms and shouted at him. "You're scared! That's why you're so angry! That's why you're so mean! Cause you're terrified of admitting the truth! That you're scared of everything Naoto did to you! That's what you said!"
He opened his mouth to lash out at her again. She spoke faster, stomping her foot in retaliation. He actually stopped and stepped back as she yelled. "No! Shut up! Don't try acting like an asshole unless you actually mean it this time! I want to help you! You may not think I'm your friend, but I think you're mine! So just shut up and tell me everything!"
Yu opened his mouth. He then closed it. His face was a textbook definition of utterly dumbfounded. He opened it again and let out a stutter. "H-huh?"
It took Rise a moment to realize her paradox and she sighed, slapping her forehead. I am not good at this... "Tell me... Tell me everything. Tell me when you fell for Naoto. Why? How? Tell me everything, so I can help you..."
"..." Yu stood with his feet firmly planted to the ground. All anger faded away as he just looked... depressed. He rubbed his head, feeling the hot burn of his blush touch his fingertips. "F-fuck... Fine. F-fine. We'll talk." He sat down on the bench and she sat beside him. He closed his eyes and continued to rub his warm cheeks, unused to the sensation. "It started before you got here..."
Rise watched the silverette with attentive eyes as he began to regale her with his story. Not just about him and Naoto, but who he was. Who he really was.. She did her best to remain focused and unbiased, but she couldn't help but let her mind wander a bit. There was so much she hadn't realized about the detective and Yu's relationship. She knew even less about her Senpai himself... He wasn't the hero she thought he was, even he had admitted that.
"I'm selfish. I used to win girls, and guys, over and then break their hearts and I never did care. Hell, like I said, I planned on doing the same to you, Chie, Yukiko, and anyone else dumb enough to fall for me." Yu shrugged, neither smiling, nor frowning, simply stating a fact. "It was just a fun game. Making idiots fall for you, then kicking them to the curb... But Naoto..."
"She's different... She sees the real you..."
"Who is a scumbag. Don't buy the act, babe," laughed Yu, his voice bitter and dry. "The 'stoic leader' bit is just a role I play to look cool. Truth is, I'm an awful person. Like, just straight up awful." He shook his head. "The kind of guy Naoto would never fall for. How's that for irony, huh? I can literally win anyone I want, except for the one I actually do want." He laughed again. It was as fake as the smile on his face...
"So... That's it?" questioned Rise.
"What did you expect? A happily ever after?" He shrugged. "Bad guys don't get happy endings..."
She faced him and she stared at him. His steel gaze fell flat, monotone and blank. His anger was gone, replaced with bitterness, but that was just a mask over the reality Yu faced. He was depressed, no, he was heartbroken. "Come on." Rise stood up, dusting her clothes off and ridding her cute outfit of wrinkles.
"Huh?"
"We're going to get something to eat. It's lunchtime and I skipped breakfast today."
"Are... are you serious?" Yu asked.
"And if you don't mind, I think you should pay," she added, looking at him. She wasn't glaring at him, but there was an obvious insistence behind her words. Yu looked back at her, before letting out a heavy breath.
"That's fair, I guess..."
"So... What the hell are we doing?"
The two sat at Aiya's, two bowls of noodles sitting on their table. Rise broken her chopsticks apart and quietly dug in, before taking a sip of her diet soda. Yu's patience, contrary to his mask, was short and he loudly banged his glass against the table. "Hey! You mind explaining to me the sudden shift in location? Why the hell are we out eating, Miss Let's-Talk!?"
"I was hungry," she answered. Yu's confounded expression became even more confused as she continued. "Besides, you gave me a lot to go over. I needed some food in my stomach to help me think."
"Well, yeah. I guess with you not being an idol anymore, you can just let your weight go," muttered Yu. He kicked himself when he realized he had mumbled that too loudly. He glanced at Rise, who glared at him.
"You know, you called me here. You asked for my help! The least you can do is not be such a jerk..."
Yu opened his mouth to give a mean-spirited retort, but all that came out was a long sigh. "Yeah, yeah... That's true." He broke his own chopsticks apart and began to eat. "I'm sorry," he grumbled, through a mouthful of noodles. She accepted his apology with a smile, nodding her head. The two quietly ate, well, as quietly as the sound of other customers, the clatter of pans, and Yu's loud munching could be.
"I think you should go after her."
"Hrm?" He looked up at her with surprised eyes. He loudly slurped up some more food, before wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt. He looked at her, motioning for her to go on as a single brow rose.
Wow... Yu doesn't really care about manners... "I think you should go after Naoto. You love her, you go after her. That's how it works in the movies."
"Yeah, you must be mistaking me for some good-looking, dashing hero. I'm actually the sexy, abusive ex-boyfriend," Yu joked, with that same tone of bitterness.
"You just apologized to me for being rude."
"... Yeah? So?"
"That means you have some idea of when you do something wrong." Rise shrugged. She wasn't an expert on consoling others or personal issues. She could hardly figure out her own problems with herself, but here she was. Trying her best. "You love Naoto, right?" Yu looked away. "Senpai... Yu... Say it. You need to be able to admit it if you're going to have any kind of chance with the real her..."
"..." He dropped his chopsticks and gave a solemn nod. "Y-yeah, okay... That's... Yeah." He nodded again, as if it would help make it easier. It didn't. He looked Rise in the eyes. "I love Naoto Shirogane. I... I love her more than anything or anyone else."
"Then you need to try and be someone worthy of her love. I'm not saying, change everything about you-"
"But it is a good start," joked Yu.
"But even you know you're kind of... mean. So tone it down. Be nicer. Apologize. Be better for her!" Rise explained. She was smiling now. She felt like she had hit the nail on the head. "You said, the bad guy doesn't get a happy ending! But what if you really are the hero of this movie? You just need to go through some character development!"
"What, you honestly think it's that easy? Just... try to be nicer to people and that'll get Naoto to fall for me?"
"No. I mean, maybe it isn't that easy. Maybe... Maybe she won't ever like you like you like her." The truth hurt to admit, and it was harder to hear, but Rise didn't let it break her spirit. She beamed as she reached into her pocket. "But do you really want to just stay like this? Lashing out at people, even when they try to help you? What if another Naoto comes along? What then?! Will you just lie to her too and let her go by, hating you?!" She slammed her hand on the table, making the older boy jump in his seat. "We can do this! I'm going to help you be a better person!"
"Wait, what?! I-"
"Here." She slid something over to him. He looked at it, and to his shock, it was a key. "This is Naoto's spare house key. When I helped take her home last night, she let me hold on to it so we could visit. Take it. You'd probably cook a better meal for her anyways," she giggled.
"..." Yu picked the key up and eyed it. He looked at Rise, who grinned back at him. He tried to smile back, but it didn't work. He just shook his head with a scowl on his face. "I... Rise, I can't... I can't even begin to tell you how I feel about this. I-"
"Hey. I'm not the girl you should be talking to right now."
He looked at her, as if trying to understand what had just transpired. He slipped the key into his pocket and took out his wallet. She watched him count the yen in there, before placing a crumpled up wad of money on the table. "Here."
"S-Senpai? This is a lot more than just the meal."
"I know." He got out of his seat. "I'm paying you for your time. I... I think I needed to hear at least some of what you were saying."
"So... you're paying me for... what? Being your friend?" She chuckled. She stood up with him and reached towards him. He had a faint blush on his cheeks as she began to fix his collar and push down the wrinkles on his clothes. "That's what friends do, Senpai..." He looked away, muttering something through his teeth. "Senpai... Have you never had a real-talk with a friend before? Have you never asked for advice from a friend?"
"Rise, you've known the real me for about half an hour. What do you think?" He retorted, but it lacked the same venom the previous insults contained. "Just... just take the money. I... I'm really-"
Yu swore under his breath. Rise's Shadow was kicking their ass! He struggled to hold himself up. Yosuke and Chie were already out, and Yukiko was running out of magic. They were being wrecked and if he didn't think of something quickly, they were going to die.
Killed by some air-headed stripper... Not gonna lie, this is almost fitting. He used his sword to help himself stand up fully. He searched the room, counting only one exit. Could I escape if I ran now? The others would distract her... Maybe I can convince Kanji to take one for the team...? His gaze fell on the sleeping idol's body and a new option presented itself.
If... if a Shadow's original self dies, what happens to them? Do they just... go away? He started limping towards her. Part of him couldn't believe he was even considering it, but he had to. He had to save the others, but most importantly, he had to save himself.
Then there was a loud explosion and Yu fell to the ground, his sword clattering beside him. The Shadow was destroyed in a bright flash of light, forced back into her more manageable self. The sleeping idol stirred, and Yu's eyes widened. He quickly moved to her side and held her, putting on the mask of a dashing hero.
"-really sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't the man you thought I was, or the man you deserved. I'm sorry. You deserve a lot better than me." She smiled at him, and he tried to smile back again. It was a melancholic smile, but it was there. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Senpai. I don't think a relationship would have work between us anyways. Not while the two of us are... like this. Both of us wearing masks, it... it would have only made it worse for us," Rise explained.
He nodded in agreement. "You're right. Heh. You're a lot smarter than I thought you were, Rise. T-thank you." He reached for her hand and he held it, gently stroking it. He stopped and shook his head. "S-sorry. Old habits. Heh. I just... Thanks for the talk."
"Like I said, that's what friends are for."
END
This is the first of a very special set of chapters. Every member of the Investigation Team, excluding Yu and Naoto, will get getting their own named chapter. The chapters will be about Yu and the title character talking things out, and giving them a moment to meet and talk to the REAL Yu. Up next? Kanji Tatsumi.
This chapter was very difficult, I'll admit, partly cause I had to reimagine Rise and Yu's relationship. Yu isn't Canon! Yu. He's meaner, more selfish, and lashes out at people by default, but as this chapter shows, he is trying to get better. Rise isn't in love with Delinquent! Yu. He just isn't the right person for her. A relationship between the two would be damaging for both of them, sealing their masks to their face.
Instead, they are friends. She's her confidant, someone he knows he can talk to. He trusts her enough to be himself around her and he needs that. She does her best to help, pushing him to be himself (or BETTER than himself) around Naoto and the others. So... yeah. That's their relationship. Just friends, but much needed ones.
I hope the chapter was okay. I'll definitely be coming back to edit it. For now though, I'm gonna go see Zootopia. Catch you guys, later. Have a good one! Thanks for reading!