Hidden Feelings

"I'm glad you're a girl."

Naoto was at a lost for words. A common trend in her conversations with Narukami... The way he spoke to her, the way he confessed to her, and now, the way he comforted her... It was not normal. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. It was a new. An uncharted field of possibilities. It weighed on her heart, pressing down on it with a compressor made of new emotions and feelings.

There's nothing good about my gender... It's a handicap. A weakness in my armor. There's nothing...

Why would he say that?! What possible reason could he have to say such a thing?

Maybe he was lying... But what could he gain from lying? My trust? My friendship? Has this all been a lie? Has he just been lying from the start? Why else would he tell me he was-

Stop. Stop it. Take a deep breath and recompose yourself. Naoto inhaled the cold, night air, before exhaling a warm breath. She focused her mind, cleaning it of the clutter and mess her earlier, emotional outburst left behind. She tidied every inch of her mental work space, leaving it pristine and ready to be put to work. She tackled the enigma again, with a new, fresh perspective.

Narukami is capable of many things, but lying to me? I understand that logically, it is possible, but my intuition speaks otherwise. He is hiding things, but no more than I hide from him. We both wear masks, yet he has exposed himself to me in ways the others have not seen... Naoto paused and replayed that line of thought again, her lips mouthing each word, before she felt her cheeks turn hot, melting the cold air that brushed against them. Thank goodness for the sanctity of one's mind...

"You okay, gorgeous?" Naoto blinked and lifted her hat, finding the older boy that plagued her thoughts standing in front of her.

"Huh? Oh, y-yes. I'm quite..." Realization set in once more and she let out a huffy sigh, hiding her returning flush with her hat, shielding herself from his jovial grin. "Please, stop referring to me in that manner..."

"Heh. Sorry. Can't resist it sometimes." She watched him, just under the rim of her hat. His fixed smile seemed to twitch, exposing the struggle and conflict that hid within... and then he turned away, as if he was never anything more than a grinning philanderer.

The couple continued their walk to the mysterious Velvet Room. Narukami had stated that he had queries for the residents of the bizarre, otherwordly location. They walked in comforting silence, allowing Naoto to return to her mental notes.

Narukami... What is it about him?

Narukami was a layered individual, complex and unpredictable at times, but the sleuth was beginning to understand him. She believed she was, at the very least. The young man often wore a facade of emotionless, regal strength for others. Like a king leading an order of knights, he was just, true, and compassionate, while never losing control of himself. He was all the things a leader was meant to be.

But that was a mask. In truth, he was more of a jester, and drunk with his own arrogance. He was a performer, willing to dance with fire, enthralling others to behold his show, so captivated, they didn't even notice the house burning down. He would twirl with the flames, dance with the pyre, and all would watch, mesmerized by his skill and charisma, they would sooner burn to death than abandon him... and he knew that. He just didn't care, or didn't have enough reason to care. This was the Narukami she had first met, and it was this liar that she had so passionately insulted and disregarded...

Yet even beyond that, there was something else to him. Something she had yet to put a word to. A nuance shift in his tone and body language. He was himself with her. He was angry when he was enraged. He was sad when he felt melancholic. He was an honest and happy, even if he was more of a fool than ever around her. He joked and laughed, he showed passion, flaws, but honesty... He wasn't the perfect king everyone thought he was. He wasn't the silver-tongued villain she thought he was. When they were together, he was simply a fool. When he was with her, he was Yu Narukami.

He was himself around her, a concept she was beginning to accept and even pride herself in.

Eventually, the two stood in front of that familiar, featureless wall once more, between Daidara's Metal Works and Yomenaido Bookstore. Yu offered a brief, apologetic glance towards the staring detective. She merely nodded in response, quietly accepting his goodbye. Without any fanfare or excitement, the silver haired boy stepped forward and vanished into nothingness...

Naoto was left with her own thoughts once more, but this time, she lacked Narukami's presence by her side. She would never admit this to anyone, she was barely able to admit it to herself, but when the silver-haired fool wasn't by her side, she felt herself longing for his return. She quickly disregarded the enigmatic feeling, obviously she was just tired. She spent her time waiting by reciting trivia facts to herself with a quiet sigh, anxiously tapping her foot on the ground.

Rise didn't know what she was doing. She didn't know what possessed her to follow Kanji down the street. She saw him stomp away from the group after locking eyes with Yu and Naoto, and her feet started following. She could guess what was on his mind. She could empathize with the frustration and emotional whirlwind he was probably trapped in. She felt bad for him, but none of that didn't mean she understood why she was following him though.

"Kanji, slow down!" she pleaded, calling out to the leatherclad troublemaker.

"Leave me alone, Rise," growled the young man, keeping his distance from the idol, stomping even faster away from her.

What am I doing? Just rubbing salt in his wound? I should just leave him alone. He wants to be left alone!

But her legs kept moving her forward, after him. Her voice kept calling out to him, begging for him to stop or slow down. "Kanji, I just want to talk."

"Well, I don't. So you can just-"

"I know you're upset about Yu and Naoto!" He came to a stop, halting in his tracks on the lonely sidewalk. The dark, dusk air was cold, but neither noticed. Rise focused on Kanji, the distance between them shrinking with every quiet clap of her shoes on the ground.

Why was she doing this? Was it because she knew Senpai couldn't help him? Was it because Senpai was the problem? Or did she just need a distraction from her own problems, and helping Kanji provided that? Or was it because she saw her friend hurting, and she just wanted to help? Whatever the reason, she was here. It was too late to turn back. All she could do was put on a strong face and put her best foot forward.

"Kanji... You can talk to me."

"What? So you can laugh about how stupid I am along with everyone else?" The boy didn't meet her gaze, and when her concerned hand fell on his shoulder, he shrugged it off. "Save it. I don't care what you, or anyone else says. I'm fine. Just leave me alone!"

'I'm fine.' 'I'm okay.' 'Don't worry about me.' How many times had she heard that lie? How many times has she told that lie? Putting on a smile for her fans, even just faking it for her friends, and now watching Yu fake it to everyone while she knew the truth... "Don't lie to me, Kanji," she whimpered. She didn't notice or care that she sounded so begging. She didn't bother sounding strong. The plea was honest, and honesty was all she wanted now...

"..." He kept his face pointed away from her, staring down the empty, darkening street. Rise wondered, once more, just what she was doing, what she hoped to accomplish, when she heard the faint whisper traveling on the cold breeze. "I'm not a man. I'm a loser... If Pops could see me now, he'd wonder what the hell ever happened to the son he used to be proud of..."

And despite Kanji's leather jacket and piercings and dyed hair, Rise saw the young boy for who he really was. She had seen the real him before, but it was now that she realized how much he hid away. How much he faked for the crowd, for the audience that stared at him, waiting for the next act... Kanji wasn't a tough, boisterous manly man. He was, but he was so much more than that. Like how she was so much more than Risette.

It was a strange revelation... Even stranger to admit, but that night, Rise really saw Kanji Tatsumi, and in him, she saw Yu Narukami, herself, even Naoto... She saw the familiar fear and dread, and the same realization she had when Yu told her the truth.

She thought the older boy and her were meant to be, but she knew the truth. That despite everything she did, she was only second best...

"What was I even thinking competing with him...? I'm such an idiot!" She couldn't see the artisan's face, but she could feel the heartbreak and self-loathing seeping off of every word. Every word flew that flew from his mouth became a razor, a cut given and received by himself. "Dumb, stupid, weird Moronji! That's... that's me..."

Rise's feet moved forward, pushed by the venom seeping off of Kanji's every word.

"What the hell did I think was going to happen?! I never had a shot! What the hell would Naoto even see in a stupid, ugly, dumbass like-"

"Stop!" And suddenly, the leatherclad troublemaker felt a warmth press against his back. Something small and soft was latched onto him, and when he looked down, he saw a pair of arms wrapped around his midsection. There were hands digging against his stomach as a soft whimper was heard, muffled against his back. "Kanji, stop. Please, stop."

Kanji felt his cheeks turn hot pink, despite the cool wind blistering against their combined figures. "W-why the hell do you even care...?" He cringed as his voice cracked and his stutter flared. Even though he was growing more accepting of hanging out with girls, the sensation Rise brought out of him with her touch left him out of breath and flustered.

"Because we're friends." The answer was so uncomplicated and simple that a child could understand it, yet Kanji Tatsumi just couldn't to wrap his head around the concept. He opened his mouth to speak, but Rise's mouth raced faster than both of their minds. "I want to help you."

"Thought you were on Senpai's side...?"

So did she. Yet despite her mind fighting to regain control of her arms, her empathetic and emotional heart just wanted to stop Kanji from hating himself. It shouldn't have been her, here. She barely knew what to do about her own problems. Yet Yu revealed his true self to her, and now she was pleading for Kanji to do the same, so she could help him. Why? Why was she here?

Kanji shivered in her arms, and it was probably just the cold wind again blistering against him. But if it wasn't? If it was because he was terrified for the future and wracked with self-loathing? If he was hurting... She had to help. It was just that simple. It was just the place she found herself in. With Yu distracted, weighted by his own troubles, she had to do what she could, no matter how small, no matter how strange it might have felt... She had to do her part for the friends that saw her true self...

"I'm not on anyone's side, Kanji. I just... I just want everyone to be happy."

He trembled in her arms again. His hands were shaking, balled into fists, but no matter what his brain demanded, he did nothing to shake off Rise's embrace. It was almost funny. Most guys would kill to be here...

"Do you remember what I told you? Back when we were together at Aiya's?"

Kanji tried to answer, he raked at his mind for the memory, but the fog of self-loathing and frustration left him with nothing but empty, chilling air.

"I told you, I think you should just do your best to be you and let the pieces fall where they will. Well, I'm taking my own advice." Rise wiped her face. She hadn't been crying. The corners of her eyes had just gotten wet from the humidity... "I'm going to be myself, and watch the pieces fall where they will. If this is a mistaken, then, well... Helping you is worth that mistake."

No one had ever said anything like that to the young boy. No one had ever held them in their arms and told him he was worth the trouble he was inevitably going to make them. Not even his ma...

"I... You... R-Rise...?" He tried to speak, but broken words and fragments were all that fell out, jumbled together like his mind. His pink, flushed face only accented his words, and he thanked his lucky stars that Rise couldn't see him.

Similarly, Rise thanked her own good fortune. Her mind had finally reclaimed control of her body, wrestling it away from her heart. Her face, scarlet and inflamed, was dug into the back of Kanji Tatsumi, aka Moronji. She considered letting go, but the fear of the cold wind and Kanji seeing her tinted features gave her enough reason to hold on a bit longer.

"Have you asked Naoto out yet?" Silence. Not even a stutter. Her hands could feel his chest expand with a deep inhale of the night air. "Kanji," she sighed, burying her face against his back with an exasperated and disappointed whine. Her blush was already beginning to fade as the boy tried to explain himself, lifting his arms as he momentarily forgot the idol had his arms wrapped around him.

"I asked her to help me study!"

"Kanji! That's not good enough! You need to ask her out! Girls love confident men!" She squeezed him a little tighter, and he grunted in response, ignoring his flaming cheeks and embarrassment.

"I-it's not like I know what the hell girls like! I've never even asked a girl out before!"

"Then I know where we need to start."

"What are- huh?" She let out, and suddenly Kanji was reminded that it was night time. It was dark and cold as a icy wind fell upon the two. Deep down, the tough guy felt a pang of regret at the vanished weight, but he shrugged it off. He was a man. He wasn't cold. He was just... cool. Yeah.

Kanji blinked in dumbstruck silence when he realized a finger was inches from his nose. The tiny hand nearly made him go cross-eyed as he followed down its path, finding the determined idol at the end of it. "I'm going to teach you how to ask a girl out."

Narukami stormed into existence with a heavy stomp to his step. He let out a breath, his breath faintly visible in the cool air. His head fell towards the sidewalk, downhearted and lost, before his silver eyes caught her curious stare. He tried to compose himself for a moment, before blatantly casting off the mask. He spoke from his heart to her, as he always did.

"They weren't very helpful."

"What exactly is the problem? I may not understand the rules of this world as much as you do, but a different perspective could offer you a lead to the answers you seek."

"I have answers. I just... don't like them." The response left Naoto more confused than when she had started, a feeling that she assumed Narukami was currently feeling.

"Well, you remember me mentioning Social Links, right?"

"Hm... I believe they came up during the first few days of you tending to me while I recovered, but please, tell me again. If I remember correctly, they are the bonds you forge with others, yes? You are able to use them to empower the Persona you create with the help of the Velvet Room's benefactor, correct? Igor?"

"I think he prefers proprietor, but yeah. Basically." There was a slight upwards curve to Yu's lip, but it vanished as he began to regale her with what had taken place within the mysterious space. Of course, he withheld certain one certain truth...

"I felt so weird when Teddie spoke to me. Almost sick. It didn't hurt, but it did. Does that make sense?"

Margaret and Igor looked at one another, a set of beady, black eyes meeting golden, shimmering ones. The obsidian dots seemed knowing almost, while the amber eyes glittered with amusement. They both returned their focus to him, and Margaret began to speak as the long nosed man began to pick up several cards from his deck and place them along his table.

"Your Social Links are born from the bonds you create with others. The bonds you forge with them create your World. You remember me explaining this to you, yes?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Thing carefully, Yu Narukami." Margaret seemed to snicker at a joke only she seemed to know. It was even enough to melt the usually icy facade she had on her as Igor placed one card after another onto the table before him. "Your links, since the beginning, were built off of lies."

The statement hit him like a freight train, and his eyes widened as the truth dawned on him. "Shit," he muttered, as Margaret nodded her head.

"I see you are beginning to understand. Your lies have built your World, creating a state of constant decay as you use more and more lies to cover the deteriorating mass. Ironically, more lies only achieve a quicker self destruction."

"S-self destruction?"

"Yes. To make matters worse, your decaying world has recently attempted to shift itself. Instead of being built upon the lies you give to others, it is trying to seek the truth. I'm afraid you only have a week left to live."

"What?!"

Margaret's stoic face cracked slightly, revealing a simple smile on her ruby lips. "Just kidding, at least, about your death."

Yu felt his insides crawl at the very, very bad joke. He glanced at Igor, who was still placing cards onto the table. Part of Yu considered demanding a real answer, but his last encounter left himself hesitant about such a tactic. So, instead, he played their game, quietly waiting for a real answer. He still felt his heart race as Margaret's smile stayed for a few moments longer, before slipping away. Her expression was deadly serious as she spoke again.

"Your World's condition is no joke, however. While you were creating it with the Social Links born from your lies, it became a monument to those deceptions and falsehoods. Now you are suddenly changing yourself, altering the world and links you have already made."

"Huh?" Yu found himself more lost than he was earlier, raising his grey brow, before sighing. "Okay, what does that mean?"

"Magician. Chariot. Priestess. Emperor. Star. Lovers... and Fortune." Igor had finally spoken up, flipping over each card he had placed down, one by one, before placing the last of these tarots onto the table and lifting his wide gaze at Yu. "Most of the Social Links, and all others formed beyond them, were created by you lying to their incarnate."

"Nanako Dojima, of the Justice Arcana. Ayane Matsunaga and Yumi Ozawa of the Sun Arcana. Kou Ichigo and Daisuke-"

"Alright! I get it. I lied. A lot," admitted the silver haired youth. "So I used to lie and wear masks to trick everyone into thinking we were friends, and now that I'm acting like the 'Real Me...'" Yu's fingers twitched in the air, emphasizing his own doubt and wonder about his True Self, before he continued. "The links aren't so good anymore?"

"That is a very blase, if accurate term about what is going on, yes," Margaret chuckled. "Or to put it in another way? Your Social Links have made a World that you are now rejecting. Your growing conscience caused you to feel guilt for lying to the Star Arcana. You are changing, and your Social Links must change with you..."

"Guilt...? Change?" Yu could only find himself repeating fragments of her explanations, before he rubbed his palm against his forehead, sighing again. "Social Links built on lies building a decaying World. Yeah, that sounds right for me..." The silver-haired boy stood up from his seat and approached Igor once more. Margaret observed the show, silently watching as Yu placed a hand on a card. "Fortune. That's Naoto, right?"

"Indeed," grinned Igor.

"Am I lying to her?"

"You don't know?" chuckled the proprietor of the Velvet Room, already knowing the answer, even before the scowl formed on Yu's features.

"No. I don't. Tell me. Am I lying to her?" He spoke slowly, barely holding back his temper, but daring to lean closer towards Igor. The grinning man stared right back, his unblinking, black eyes peering into Yu's soul, before his grin grew wider, if that was even possible.

"No. Your relationship with the Fortune Arcana was built, from the beginning, out of honest emotion and truth the day she awoke from her bed to find you. Interestingly enough, the Lovers Arcana, and Emperor Arcana have both been renewed and are stronger than ever, actually."

Yu let out a sigh of relief, his own spirit receiving a very needed break from stress and tension, even for a moment. At least he could take pride in knowing that Naoto and him really did seem to be friends. That Naoto actually liked him for him, just like how he liked her for her. He was about to step away, when another question popped into his mind.

"Wait, Lovers and Emperor? That's Rise and Kanji, right? Rise, I get, she's my friend, sure, but Kanji? Kanji hates me!"

"Perhaps, but is it not interesting?" laughed Igor. "A bond cracked by the truth is still stronger than one built on lies. I must say, you are proving to be one of our most interesting guest."

"Guilty conscience...?" Naoto muttered words and phrases from Narukami's recounting of the event. He watched the sleuth mull over details and facts, before repeating herself and nodding her head. "If I am understanding this correctly, you must share your 'True Self' with our colleagues, or you will...?"

"Be wracked with guilt." Narukami scoffed at the joke, shaking his head. "I don't know. They didn't really say. All I know, is that I'm going to keep feeling this shitty whenever I talk to anyone I've lied to until I actually tell them the truth. You know, Rise, and Kanji know... Now I just need to tell the rest of the town." He shook his head as they walked down the sidewalk, the light of the streetlights being all that illuminated their forms.

"You're exaggerating. Simply begin informing the others within our circle about your self."

"Easier said than done," sighed Narukami. "But I appreciate you trying to help, my dear." Naoto nodded her head, and a brief silence blanketed over the two. Despite the silence, the silver-haired boy continued to smile. Naoto scrutizied the smirk, before vocalizing her confusion.

"You seem rather jovial, despite the news."

"Just happy to have you by my side, my little Sapphire. It's good to have someone you trust by your side..."

Naoto felt her cheeks burn as memories flooded back to the surface of her mind. She felt her lungs fill and release a wave of warm breath, casting her eyes towards the concrete floor as they walked. "Narukami?"

"Hm?"

"What you said to me. Back in the hospital...? Did you-"

"I meant every word."

How does he always do that? How does he always know just what to say to entice a reaction out of me? Ugh, I shouldn't be surprised. I should know better. It is Narukami simply acting how he acts. It doesn't... it means nothing more than... "Yes, well... Thank you. I'm glad. I'm glad you see me in such a way..."

Narukami stayed by her side, but his eyes were on the other side of the street. He said nothing to the Detective Prince, even as she forced her head back up to inspect him. He seemed distant, and she could faintly hear stuttered, quiet mumbling from his lips. "Naoto... I... I don't have an easy time saying this, mostly cause I've never said it to anyone, before I met you, but I mean it. Thank you for being a part of this team. Thank you for helping me."

"N-Narukami? I... Um... T-thank you," mumbled the scarlet sleuth. While her eyes were on the ground, her silver eyed compatriot found his pointed to the heavens.

"I made things awkward, didn't I?" Before Naoto could say anything, Narukami placed his hand on her shoulder, causing her to look at him. He was smirking again. "Allow me to change the subject, if you don't mind. Exams are coming up!"

"H-huh? Oh. Yes. They are," stuttered Naoto, sighing in relief at the more comfortable topic. She nodded her head, slowing her step as she saw the Dojima Residence in the distance.

"Wanna help me study?"

"Huh? Oh, I wouldn't know where to begin with second year subjects. Besides, I've seen your grades. You are quite knowledgeable about your subjects already. Besides, I promised Kanji-kun I would assist him in studying."

"Psh, I just cheated off of Yuki... Wait, what did you say?" Narukami came to a halt and seemed rather surprised to Naoto's confusion. "Wait, Kanji-kun? When did you start calling him Kanji-kun?!"

"You heard me refer to him by his first name when we left the hospital," stated the bluette. "And I simply said I was going to assist him with his studies." Naoto was not sure why the older boy's mood had suddenly changed. She raised a brow as he struggled to speak again, ignoring the slight flush to her cheeks. "Kanji-kun asked for my help and I accepted."

"O-oh. Okay."

"Narukami? What is it?"

Narukami did not answer immediately. When he did, he had composed himself only slightly. "So, are you going to start calling me Yu-kun?"

"W-what?" Now the flush on her cheeks grew more vibrant. "Y-you asked me to refer to you by your last name."

"You called me Yu once." They were getting closer to the front door of the Dojima Residence. Naoto felt a writhing in her stomach with every enclosing step for some reason. Perhaps it was because of Narukami's strange behavior... "Sorry. Nevermind. Don't worry about it."

"Perhaps we should reconvene tomorrow after I am done studying with Kanji-kun?"

"Huh? Hey, don't sweat it. Wouldn't want to get between you and Kanji's bonding time. Besides, I promised Rise I'd help her go shopping tomorrow. We're going to Okina City together."

"Ah." For some reason, the statement caused Naoto's stomach to lurch. Her lips twitched, turning dangerously close into a frown, but she maintained her composure. "I see. Kujikawa-san is good company. Energetic. Feminine." And as they neared the doors of the quiet house, the androgynous detective muttered under her breath a quiet word. "Beautiful..."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Simply talking to myself." Narukami was standing in front of the illuminated door now. Naoto kept her distance, tipping her hat to him with a neutral expression on her face. "Goodnight, Narukami."

"Yeah..." Judging by his tone, Narukami didn't want to open his door. He didn't want to leave the detective. But his choice was robbed from him as the door opened, revealing a curious, brunette head.

"Hello? Oh! Big Bro!"

Immediately, the silver-haired boy cringed at the words. Naoto assumed he was feeling the decay and guilt from his link to the small girl. He greeted the small girl, swiveling his head to find the Detective Prince already walking away. Naoto didn't pay a boy any thought as she could hear the pleads from the little girl. Apparently she had a good day at school and wanted to tell her big brother all about it...

Rise Kujikawa... She was the first, wasn't she? She was the one who Narukami went to first. They must be very close...

That night, Yu couldn't sleep. He was alone and the darkness enveloped his room. He was tired and fatigued and wanted to drift asleep, but his mind was plagued. He simply could not sleep.

He rose up until he was sitting on his futon. He took his hand and reached under the soft bed, searching for something. He plucked a brown sketchbook from underneath, but tossed it aside without a care. He searched underneath the futon again, finally sighing in relief when he found the azure book, with a pen taped to the side of the book's spine.

Without a single word, he got out of bed and flicked on the lights. After his eyes adjusted to the change, he placed book on his desk and opened it. Within the book laid dozens of pages, each one littered with drawings and sketches of a certain detective. The girl of his dreams had been plaguing him even worse lately, and now it was reaching a whole new level with his recent discovery.

He turned page after page, until he finally found a blank, white surface. With a click of his pencil, he began to bring to life the images plaguing his mind. He drew her rarer-than-gold-smile. He carefully created every strand of her cerulean locks. He carefully recreated her gorgeous, cobalt eyes...

He took a deep breath, sighing to himself, before finalizing the drawing with two new additions. Naoto's, apparently, sizable bust.

God, I've fallen hard. But who can blame me? She's amazing...

END

I don't have long. Gonna go soon. I've been crazy busy lately, I'm sorry to say, not to mention tired. So I'm sorry if this chapter isn't very excellent. I did my best, and I hope to deliver even better writing soon. Let's go over what we need to real quick before I leave.

I have an important question to ask you, dear, dear audience. How much Rise X Kanji do you want in this story? I realized that while writing this chapter, does my audience even really want to see the drama of Rise and Kanji's life? Do you want it mostly in the background? It'll never eclipse Naoto X Yu in this story, I promise you that, but would you want parts of future chapters to be about them? Or keep that stuff in Tales? Do you want a lot of Rise X Kanji or a little? Please, do tell me.

Also, parts of this chapter was going to be attached to the last one, but I changed it. Hopefully it worked out well.

Coming up next? Studying for the exams, the arrival of a certain letter, and the CULTURE FESTIVAL. Here's a little hint to wet your appetite. Y'know how going to Tatsumi Port Island was a big, dramatic thing cause it had Naoto and Yu fighting each other and Yu realizing he loved her? Well, the Culture Festival will be similar.

Broken hearts, burning love, and DRAMA. Look forward to it! Have a good one, and please, tell me your thoughts on the question I asked and on the chapter itself. Thanks for reading! Take care!