Hannah was back in that god-awful cellar. The stench of excrement filled the air, and she felt herself gag and recoil. Sobbing came from behind her, and slowly, she turned to look at the source of the crying. Hannah felt her body move of its own accord towards the crying girl, and she cradled the sobbing girl's head in her arms. Comforting words sounded in Hannah's own voice, but Hannah didn't think the words:
"It's okay, it's okay," Hannah's arms wrapped around the girl's shoulder's tightly, clinging on to her like a drowning man would a life line. "Aimee, we're all going to be fine. We're going to get out of this, you just have to be strong. Can you do that for me?" The little girl's eyes were too large for her skinny face, and brimming with tears. The little light in the room glinted off their wet surface, and the light bobbed up and down, as the girl nodded away her silent tears. Hannah felt her face draw close to the little Aimee's as she kissed the girl on the forehead tenderly, motherly. Wrapping protective arms around her, Hannah cradled the small girl to sleep. She felt another girl press against her left upper arm, and Hannah's arm moved to include her in the hug. Soon all 18 of the girls were huddled together, Hannah at the centre, whispering assurance to them all.
"You," the man who haunted Hannah aboard the Enterprise pointed at young Aimee, and the girl trembled to her feet. Hannah pushed herself upright, and swept the girl behind her.
"No, whatever you want, I will do it. Leave Aimee alone," Hannah's voice was sturdy, her gaze steady, but even now, even in a memory it pounded with terror. Her hand shook on Aimee's shoulder. She stared down the man. He glowered at Hannah, and snatched her upper arm, his hand wrapping all around the thin twig of a limb, and dragged her upstairs.
"You'll pay for your insolence," the hiss came in Hannah's ear. Her feet dragged on the ground, unable to move fast enough to keep up with the man. She stayed silent, and swallowed down her fear. Her breath came out shaky, and Hannah wrenched her arm free from the man, snatching his keys away, and fleeing back to the door. She slammed into it, and hastily rammed the key in the lock. Her trembling fingers delayed her turning of the lock, but she managed to unlock the door as the man reached her. Hannah flung her weight on him, throwing him off for half a second, screaming over her shoulder.
"Go! Get out! Go- Please!" The man grabbed her by the hair and dragged her into the next room, Hannah screaming and kicking all the way. She saw the girls fleeing out of the room in a large group, little Aimee at the back. Aimee hovered for a moment, just as the man pulled a gun out of his waistband. Hannah tried to grab for it, and they struggled with one another. The gun went off. Aimee's hand moved to her stomach, and her mouth formed a small 'o' of surprise. Hannah screamed, but no sound came from her. The scream came from Aimee's sister, standing in the doorway, having returned for her baby sister. The scream shot through Hannah, a thousand times more painful than any bullet could ever be. It shattered her heart into pieces, and Hannah gained the strength from some small part of her to throw the man off. She grabbed a glass coaster from the table and smashed it against the wall. She spun back, and plunged the glass into the man's neck. Aimee's sister still screamed.
"Kirk, if you'd only heard that scream," Hannah's voice was coarse, broken. "I could live with myself for killing him, I could tell myself I had to, but Aimee…" Hannah's heart grew heavy and she leant against the force field, the electric barrier buzzing around her head. Tears formed in her eyes, and Hannah's lip trembled below her. She buried her head into her hands. "I relive that moment every night, and every time Aimee dies, and I hear that scream over and over. I see her eyes go opaque and the guilt just floods in."
Kirk's hand reached out to her, as though reaching to hold her. Hannah recoiled away from Kirk.
"It wasn't your fault," He tried to assure her. Hannah looked up at him with those wounded eyes, spilling with tears. A broken women, a small, scared child still.
"But it was," She whispered. "Forensics. It was my fingerprint on the trigger. I'm the one that killed her." Kirk's heart broke, and he sat down next to Hannah, the force field between them.
"You were trying to protect them. You tried to save them," He began to say, but Hannah shook her head.
"I was angry. I wanted revenge for me." She looked away from Kirk, meeting his gaze was too painful. "The papers, the other girls. They make it sound like I tried to delay him to let them all get out, but I didn't." Hannah looked back up at Kirk, and pain hardened her features into that cold, destructive malice he had seen earlier. Her next words came out so low, they were barely more than a hiss of agony. "I wanted him to suffer. I wanted retribution for every single thing he had done to me. I don't know if you've ever felt true anger but-"
-"I have." Kirk cut in. Hannah blinked. "When my predecessor, Admiral Pike died. Was killed," Kirk corrected himself, and anger seemed to bubble through him. "I knew I couldn't kill the man that took his life, but I came so close. I was so caught in getting revenge, I endangered the lives of my whole crew." Hannah stared at the Captain she thought she knew, her eyes drying in shock, and widening with every word. Kirk looked almost as wounded as she did, and his gaze met hers with a hollow pain. "It's a mistake I'll never let myself forget. Or repeat."
McCoy had let Hannah out of her prison in the Med Bay, and a swift scan with a tricorder ensured that all traces of the bacteria were either gone or dead, and those that were dead he had extracted to analyse in depth. He frowned over the samples, as Hannah sat on the bed, cross legged and a little more self-conscious than before.
"So," McCoy started. "That was intense."
"If you ever mention it, I will gut you." Hannah's response was immediate, and emotionless. McCoy looked up from the sample briefly, and over to her.
"Don't worry. You're in the same pile as Sulu. The 'never mess with' pile," He responded, bending back over the sample. "On a different, safer, note: Does Scotty still have that ship debris?" Hannah shrugged in response and waited for an explanation. McCoy didn't give one. At least, not until Hannah coughed deliberately, drawing his attention back to her. Hannah raised an eyebrow at him.
"Well?" She demanded. "What relevance is the debris to me?" McCoy paused over the sample, and gestured for Hannah to look at the readings on the console.
"Look at this," he pointed to an abnormal line on the chart in front of them. "That is gamma radiation. There is nothing on this ship that gives out gamma radiation, and it can't penetrate the ship's hull, so how is this bacteria mutated to utilise gamma radiation as a energy source? And how is it utilising it right now?"
Scotty poked at the debris hesitantly, lifting one piece cautiously. Keenser stood next to him, his eyes barely reaching the table level, for once not climbing on various pieces of equipment in Engineering. Scotty frowned at the hull, and checked the readings on the tricorder.
"What?" He muttered aloud. "That's no right."
"Scotty, for the love of God, throw that shit out an airlock." Hannah's voice startled Scotty out of his puzzled reverie. He spun and looked at her in confusion.
"It's made of a radon alloy." He frowned. Hannah's drooped slightly with exasperation, and she resisted an eyeball.
"Yes, I know. I guessed. And what does radon do?" Hannah sounded like a primary school teacher, prompting a young child into the right answer. Scotty frowned at her, and Hannah let her head fall back slightly to look at the ceiling. "It emits gamma radiation. Gamma radiation=bad. Get rid." Hannah spun and started to leave.
"I'll have to ask the Captain to do that!" Scotty shouted after her. The doors closed behind Hannah, but her weary retort was still audible.
"You do that. I need a fucking drink," The doors slid shut, and Hannah muttered to herself. "Or several."