Rex vs. Christmas or (Room Inspections Part Deux)
"Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a Partridge in a pair treeeeee!" Rex belted out as he hung another ornament on their small fake tree.
"Rex, why are you bothering putting up a tree? We're leaving for winter break in a few days anyway." Noah asked.
"Don't be a scrooge." Rex said as he stepped back to admire his handiwork. "You need to get into the holiday spirit."
"It's a little hard to get into any spirit when you're trying to study for a Calculus Final." Noah groaned as he slammed his head into his book.
"You'll do fine. Didn't you take it in high school already?" Rex frowned.
"You know there's Calculus 1… and 2… and 3." Noah lifted his head to look at Rex.
"Yeah, yeah… I'm sure you'll do fine. You just like to worry." Rex said dismissively.
Noah sighed and slammed his book shut. "I'm going out for a walk to clear my head."
"I'll come with you. I need glitter." Rex grabbed his jacket.
"Rex, you know glitter is illegal in dorm rooms." Noah reminded him.
" Fwah," Rex waved his hand dismissively. "Jack, doesn't scare me."
There was a knock on the door and Rex yelped.
Noah smirked. "Sure, Rex, sure."
"Hey, is anyone in there?" Circe asked.
Rex gave Noah a scowl before opening the door. Circe walked in and looked around.
"Nice, but you know that glitter is illegal." Circe pointed out.
"Not you too." Rex groaned as he walked toward the door. "I'm personally not worried about…" He opened the door and turned to see… "Jack!"
"Room inspection." He announced pushing past Rex. He looked through the room. "You're in violation of rule 22A section 3…" He said as he wrote something on his clipboard.
"What's 22A section 3…" Rex began asking.
"Items should not be hung from or placed on ceilings." Noah recited.
Rex glared at him. "Why didn't you say something then?"
Noah shrugged. "You never asked. But Jack, everyone hangs things off the ceiling."
"No, they don't." Jack snorted. "And that's your final warning. When you come back from break, you're out of here."
Rex, Noah, and Circe all began protesting at once. "What?" "That's not fair!" "It's Christmas!"
Jack held up his hand. He ripped the bottom of his sheet and handed it to Rex. "Take everything down and start packing." As he left, there was a smirk on his face.
Rex gaped at the paper in his hand.
"Hey, I'm sorry, Rex." Circe patted him shoulder sympathetically.
"That was blatantly biased! That guy has it in for you! Howie down the hall has glow-in- the-dark star stickers on his ceiling and Jack didn't say… well, jack!" Noah fumed.
"If you want I can disintegrate his pants." Circe offered.
"Yeah, I mean no… That's not right." Rex amended. His cell rang. Rex checked who it was. "It's Caesar…. Hey, bro, what's up?"
"Just checking to make sure you got my package." Caesar said sounding distracted.
"Package?" Rex looked around and spotted a box half sticking out from under his bed. "Oh, yeah package…" He quickly ripped the top off. Rummaging through the foam peanuts, he pulled something out.
"That's your early Christmas present." Caesar said.
"Great… what is it?" Rex turned the cube-like item in his hand before he dropped it. Suddenly, a beam of light projected from the cube before solidifying into a person. It was Caesar bent over a similar looking cube.
"Hello, Rex." He finally looked up. He flickered for a second but other than that he looked as if he was standing in front of them.
"Woah, how are you doing that?" Rex stared wide-eyed.
"This is my latest invention. It's a way to communicate in person." Caesar pointed at Rex's cube.
"I see," Rex said slowly. "And how does it work?"
"Oh, it's easy. Just dial the phone number from the cube and the person on the other end shakes it to answer it.
"Really, but I need both cubes?" Rex wondered.
"Well, of course." Caesar said. "So when does the semester end?"
"Next week… Hey bro, can you send the other cube here?" Rex asked.
"But that would defeat the purpose of communicating with you." Caesar frowned.
"I'd like to… uh… study it… you know for… science." Rex stumbled through his explanation.
"I guess I can send it to you…" Caesar said hesitantly.
"By tomorrow." Rex added.
"Tomorrow?" Caesar asked.
"Great thanks bro! You're the best! Luv yeah, bye!" Rex shook the cube and the image flickered out.
"Rex, what are you planning?" Noah asked regarding his friend.
Rex rubbed his hands together. "I have a plan… and you guys are going to help me."
Circe and Noah looked worriedly at each other.
0o0
"This is stupid." Noah said flatly into his comlink.
"Shhh, it'll work. You'll see." Rex replied back in his.
"I can't see anything. I'm sitting in the dark." Noah hissed.
"Yeah, I don't want Jack to know you're in your room. Okay, I see Jack. The eagle has left the building." Rex said excitedly.
"And that's stupid." Noah snapped.
"Go, go, go!" Rex just said.
Noah opened the door of their dorm room. Looking around, he snuck down the hall and down the stairs. He stopped and grinned awkwardly as two guys passed him to get up the stairs. They didn't even look at him. His hands were twisted behind him. He shuffled with his back towards the wall. Finally, he reached the door. He slipped a credit card through the door and jiggled. There was a click and the door opened. Quickly he entered and snuck what was behind his back under the bed. He made sure the cube was hidden but that the projector was unobstructed.
He then slipped out before anyone could notice. Then he rushed up the stairs and into his room. He pressed his ear piece. "Done."
"No, say it right." Rex demanded.
"Are you kidding? No." Noah protested.
"Come on, say it." Rex insisted. There was no answer. "Say it…."
Noah sighed, "It's as snug as a bug in a rug."
"Excellent." Rex grinned widely.
0o0
"This is dumb Rex." Circe said with her arms crossed. She was wearing a white robe. There was a wreath in her hair and a veil over her face. "He's never going to fall for it."
"Yeah, Rex. Jack is not stupid." Noah said. He was wearing a Santa-like robe. He had an electric candle hanging limply in his hand. "And he's going to recognize me."
"Not if you wear this beard." Rex slapped a fake beard on his face.
"Rex! I can't even talk through this!" Noah's voice was muffled.
"And tada!" Rex pulled a hoodie over his head which obscured his face. "I'm the ghost of Christmas future!"
"And what exactly is performing A Christmas Carol going to do?" Noah asked.
"Well, maybe it will remind him of his humanity… or it will be the best trolling before we get kicked out." Rex declared.
"What's this we? He was just kicking you out." Noah muttered.
"Shut up, Bobo tells me he's back." Rex placed his finger n his ear.
"You got Bobo into this too?" Circe asked.
"Shhh, okay, Circe start doing your sonic thing-y." Rex cued her. He began dialing a number on the cube.
"You know it's theoretical only that the vibrations from my sonic blast will activate the other cube." She told him wryly.
"You miss 100% of the shots you if you don't take shots." Rex told her.
"I think you mean you miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Circe corrected him.
"Yeah, yeah, just go." Rex urged her.
Circe sighed. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth. The boys heard nothing but a second later their cube let out a beam of light.
"It's show time!" Rex grabbed Noah as they stood just out of view from the cube.
The image was of Jack in the middle of taking off his pants. Everyone froze.
Jack's mouth dropped open. Circe's face was luckily hidden by a veil so that he could not see how red her face had become.
"What are you doing here?" He pulled his pants back up so fast he fell on the floor.
Circe quickly recovered. "I… uh… am the ghost of Christmas Past." She said in a higher pitch. "And I'm here to show you what you were like in past Christmases."
"I don't celebrate Christmas." He growled.
"Oh, uh, well, how about Hanukkah?" She asked.
"No."
"Kwanza?" She tried. "Winter solstice?"
"Look, I never celebrated anything." He snapped.
"Really? So what do you do for fun?" She continued.
"That's none of your business." He said angrily.
"Well, yeah it is… It's not healthy to sit in your room and obsesses with impressing your parents with your accomplishments." She snorted.
"How… how… how did you know…" He paled and sank onto the bed.
"Hey, I'm the ghost of Christmas past. I know lots of stuff. So why don't you let it all out." She invited him.
For the next hour, Jack talked about how nothing he ever did made his parents happy and his list of his other complaints. Rex and Noah started nodding off. Rex's chin got lower and lower to his chest when he jerked up startling Noah who then fell into the front of the cube.
"Who's that?" Jack asked startled.
Circe checked her watch. "Well, my time's up. This is the ghost of Christmas present. Christmas present this is Jack. Tell him why he should loosen up." She stepped out of view. Noah got up nervously hoping his beard was still on straight.
"So what seems to be the problem?" Noah said in as deep a voice as he could manage.
Jack launched into more of his problems while Noah nodded and encouraged him to continue.
"And that Rex kid who lives upstairs ruined my chances of getting that TA job." He added.
"What?" Rex suddenly looked up from the back of the cube.
"Who was that?" Jack asked.
"Uh, that's the ghost of Christmas Past… He's uh, coming now…" Noah jumped out of frame and shoved Rex in front of the cube.
The hoodie luckily his face. Rex realized that being an ominous non-talking entity wasn't going to get him anywhere.
"So how did Rex mess up your chances to be TA?" Rex said in a raspy voice.
Jack told of the laundry mat incident that left him unconscious and locked in the store till morning.
Rex winced. "Wow, that sucks. But I don't think he meant it. I'm sure if he knew he'd feel bad."
"Too late now." He huffed.
"But serious dude, how does holding a grudge help. I mean all it does is cause you stress and make you bitter… And bitter people aren't usually fun to hang out with." Rex said.
"What do you know?" Jack Scoffed.
"Hey, I'm the ghost of Christmas Future. I see all sorts of problems in your future, if you don't let go off all that resentment from your parents, peers, and Rex… that handsome young man" He watched as Circe and Noah rolled their eyes.
"Well, I guess you're right?" Jack said uncertainly.
"Of course I'm right!" Rex puffed out his chest. "Now stop being such a stick in the mud and go have some fun. I recommend the salsa lessons at the gym."
"Yeah, I always wanted to learn how to salsa." He began to awkwardly move about.
"Maybe you should take the lessons first…" Rex suggested trying not to cringe.
"Oh right. Thanks Christmas ghost." Jack turned and left the room.
Rex turned off the cube.
"That was nice of you Rex. I was worried you were going to try to con him into letting you stay here but you helped him." Circe said.
"You know, it occurred to me that not everyone was lucky enough to have such awesome family and friends. Ah, I can always move in with the Trendbenders… as long as I bring earplugs." Rex said as he pulled off his hoodie.
"What now?" Noah asked startled.
"Long story." Rex told him.
There was a knock at the door. Rex walked to open it.
"Who's there… Jack?" Rex quickly held the hoodie behind his back, while Circe and Noah dove behind the door.
"Yeah, listen Salazar, maybe I've been too hard on you. It is the holidays. As long as you take down those decorations down from the ceiling, we'll call it even." Jack said.
"Sure thing. Thanks, Jack…" Rex said surprised. "Why the sudden change?"
Jack looked around before he leaned in. "You won't believe it but three ghosts came into my room and they were like the best therapy session I ever had… or it could be the alcohol." He stood up. "Well, I'm off to join a salsa class."
He turned and left. Rex closed the door.
"That's great, Rex! You get to stay." Circe cheered.
"Yeah, and I don't have to find a new room mate." Noah said.
"See guys, when you do good things, good things come back to you." Rex smiled.
There was another knock on the door. Rex opened it. There was an irate campus security guard standing in the door way.
"This monkey yours?" He held Bobo by the scruff of his shirt.
"Hey buddy, easy on the collar." Bobo complained.
"Uh, maybe?" Rex said.
"Well, he's messed up the common room and ate all the food for the Christmas party tonight." He informed them.
Everyone looked at Bobo who shrugged. "What? I was hungry. You didn't feed Bobo when you put him on surveillance."
"Excuse me?" The guard asked suspiciously.
"Nothing. Don't worry, sir. My friends and I will clean up the area and get some more food." Rex reassured him.
"We? Who's we?" Noah mumbled from the back.
Rex pulled Bobo in and slammed the door.
"Good things, huh?" Circe smirked.
"Good until Bobo shows up." He gave his sidekick a glare.
"Hey, Bobo's the life of the party. By the way, I got your little doohickey back. You're welcome." After tossing the other cube at Rex, he plopped onto his bed and put his hands behind his head. "I'm gonna catch forty winks. Catch you when I wake up." It didn't take long before he was snoring.
Rex sighed. "I guess we better get cleaning."
"Again, what we?" Noah protested. "How come I always get stuck helping you with the messes you cause?"
Rex draped his arms around his and Circe's shoulder. "Because that's what friends are for."
"And no good deed goes unpunished." Circe sighed. "Come on, let's go. The mess isn't going to clean itself.'
"That's the spirit!" Rex beamed. Despite their complaints Circe and Noah had smiles too.
So not feeling very Christmassy this year. My son got mugged last week. He's fine but I'm angry. Work has been super busy and not very fulfilling. And I'm just tired… all the time. But I'm trying to get those stories out especially the Christmas ones! I also realize that not everyone celebrates Christmas. So happy holidays to everyone. Peace to you and your family. May you have a joyous season… and other greeting card slogans… except I really mean them. Thanks for reading!
Rex: 1 Christmas: 1 Jack: 1 Aww heck, everyone wins! Happy Holidays!