Ren had Bou to talk to when he had problems, but what did Kyoko have? Maybe she should emulate Ren and unload all her romance problems to this unknown costumed friend.
"Are you alright miss?"
Kyoko looked up. The speaker was a stuffed penguin, or at least someone wearing a very a large costume of a penguin. She couldn't decide which it was. It was completely possible that she was imagining it. Her thoughts had become a little frantic all due to a sensitive problem.
As her mind returned to the topic, her melancholy returned.
"So, you don't want a hug?"
There was no doubting it this time. The penguin had spoken, and was addressing her.
"Are you asking me to hug you, a random person in a costume?" said Kyoko.
The penguin tilted its head. "It not uncommon for people to hug me when I wear this. I promise I'm not a bad person. You just looked sad."
At the mention of her mood, Kyoko dropped her eyes. "No thanks. My senpai would scold me for hugging a random stranger if I did. He'd say you were some pervert in a costume trying to feel up unsuspecting girls."
At this the penguin chuckled, heartily so in a deep voice. The sound lifted Kyoko's spirits a little, though she couldn't explain why.
"Your senpai sounds like a wise man." Said the penguin.
"He's the best!" said Kyoko, immediately energized. "He's a perfect example of what a true actor should be. Dedicated, talented and patient even with troublesome people like me. One day I'll make him acknowledge my acting and then-"
Kyoko stopped, then slumped back into her seat, back to square one. There was no way she could get her senpai to acknowledge her. Not when she was having so many problems with such a simple role. A woman in a loving relationship with her boyfriend. It should have been easy, but Kyoko couldn't do it. She'd only ever experienced one sided feelings of romance in her part. She kept freezing every time her costar responded to her advances.
The penguin took the seat next to her. She didn't notice, still lost in her current predicament. How was she going to get over this?
"Incidentally." Said the penguin, and Kyoko jumped, having forgot he was there. "I'm free for the next half hour. If you started talking, I wouldn't leave."
Kyoko gave the penguin a strange look. "Why would you offer to listen to my troubles?"
"What are you talking about?" said the penguin. "I just said I wouldn't leave. I didn't say I would listen."
Kyoko instantly wanted to punch this penguin. Instead she gave a dark smile. "Oh really? You are quite the gentleman aren't you penguin-san? You probably have so many women all over you, falling for your charms."
The penguin gave a tired sigh, as if he hadn't realized Kyoko was being sarcastic. "I can't just leave a pretty young woman like yourself alone to brood in this corner."
Kyoko blinked, only one word registering in her brain.
"You think I'm pretty?" said Kyoko, skeptical. She put a hand to her chin in intense concentration, trying to figure out how this could be so. She wasn't wearing any make-up, and princess Rosa was at home. Ah, of course. She placed a fist in her palm, congratulating herself for figuring it out. The man was just a flirt, complimenting Kyoko with empty words of praise in the hopes to reduce her irritation at him.
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Huh?" said Kyoko, having been lost in her thoughts. "No sorry, what was that?"
The penguin sulked. "Here I am being such a good listener for you and you don't even listen to me." He said. "Your senpai would be ashamed."
Arrows shot through Kyoko's heart. She collapsed on the ground, sinking between the cracks and disappearing into the air. Or at least, she tried to.
"I'm so hopeless." wailed Kyoko, "He'll renounce me as his kohai and deny any association with me. If I see him on the street, he'll cross the road so he doesn't have to pass me. Any words starting with 'Mo' will be stricken out of his vocabulary." She gasped. "He'll never call his mom 'mother' ever again!"
"Don't you think that's a little extreme?" said the penguin. He sounded a bit hurt.
"It is not!"
She snapped her attention to the penguin. "I was too full of myself, stupidly thinking I could overcome my weakness. Now everything is falling around me and I'll bring down the reputation of LME along with it."
Not to mention Tsuruga, Kanae, Chiori and everyone else that believed in her. And they had been supporting her so much. What a pleasant way to return their kindness. She thought bitterly.
"Well." Said the penguin. "I still have twenty-three minutes until they need me. Are you actually going to do something, or are you going to continue to complain?"
Kyoko paused, considering.
"I want to change." She said, standing proudly in the room. Then she deflated. "But this isn't something I can get through with determination alone."
"Then what do you need?" said the penguin.
"I need more experience." Said Kyoko slowly.
"With…?" he sounded impatient.
"Loving someone who loves me in return."
She had plenty of experience loving someone. A certain idiot in her past had supplied her with plenty of that. The problem was acting while having her love returned. Sho had never returned her feelings. The most he had done was tolerate her as she clung to him like a love-sick puppy. Ugh, it was so humiliating she wanted to vomit.
Being unable to pull experience from her past, she only had two options in front of her. To 'pretend' like she knew how to act in those circumstances, or find a way to fall in love with someone and have them return her love.
The problem with the first option was that it hadn't been working. She'd tried it for the past two readings, but had frozen every time her co-star had made any sort of mushy face at her. So that was no good.
The second option was just as bad. There was no way she could fall in love with someone so quickly. Forget the part where she refused to expose her heart to anyone like that ever again. Those things took time. She wasn't the type to fall in love at first sight. That was a role better suited for dainty heroines in children's fairy tales.
Well… and she might probably… possibly… already be in love with someone.
Kyoko let out a howl, scrubbing her hands through her hair in annoyance. Of all people, why did she have to fall in love with someone so unattainable? It was just another unrequited love. Another stupid useless emotion she's collected over the years. Right next to everything having to do with Shotaro. Why did she never learn?
Kyoko let her hands drop, remembering the penguin that had been talking to her. She looked over to see he hadn't moved an inch.
"Um, Penguin-san?" she asked. "Are you alright?"
It didn't answer.
Kyoko crept forward, inching a finger near the stuffed prop with the intent of poking it.
"Is this for a role?" the penguin said suddenly, making Kyoko jump back in fright.
"Ah, umm... yeah." She said, recovering from her shock. "I have to act like a woman in a loving relationship with her boyfriend."
"Which you've never been in before."
Kyoko squirmed. This was becoming a tad personal for a conversation with a stranger. No. It wasn't even a conversation with a stranger. It was a conversation with a stage prop.
"I don't even want to be in love." Said Kyoko, thinking of all the empty-headed women that chased after men like Sho and Tsuruga. "It makes you forget your surroundings and act like a fool. There's nothing more disgraceful or embarrassing than losing yourself because of someone else."
"I have to disagree on that." Said the penguin.
"Oh?" said Kyoko, raising an eyebrow. "You think there's something more disgraceful or embarrassing?"
"Not that exactly." He said carefully. "I think being in love is a beautiful thing. Nothing can make a woman glow more than when she's in love."
Kyoko's heart swelled. The way the penguin said that, it was as if she could believe in the tenderness in his voice. The surety and warmth he promised by falling in love.
Her heart also split as she realized it was true. Nothing could make someone glow more than when they were in love, which meant Kyoko had lost part of that glow. She may have managed to rekindle a part of that flame, but she was repressing that light in fear of it being discovered.
"I can't glow." She whispered. "Not without him discovering my feelings. And then he'll be disappointed and the light will disappear."
The penguin suddenly shot to his feet. The movement surprised Kyoko so badly that she nearly fell from her seat. She just stared at the oversized doll and boy was it oversized! How tall was the actor inside that costume? Six feet?
"You're in love." Said the penguin. He said it as if her were struggling with himself.
"Is that such a surprise?" said Kyoko, choosing to stand firm instead of curl up in embarrassment like she wanted to. This penguin didn't know her. Most women liked someone, even if it was a celebrity crush.
"I just wanted to clarify." Said the penguin stiffly, turning away from her. Then it started pacing. Kyoko was torn between hilarity and incredulity as she watched this adorable animal carve a trench into the ground as it stomped back and forth.
The penguin froze without warning. It looked back sharply at Kyoko, making her jump.
"If you're in love, how come you can't act the part of being in a loving relationship?" said the penguin.
"I already told you, I don't want to be in love." Said Kyoko. "I spend every second trying to make sure my feelings aren't discovered."
"Ah." The penguin rubbed at the spot his chin was probably located in the suite. It just looked like her was rubbing his nose. "That's probably why you can't act then. You're repressing your feelings in real life which is translating into your character."
"What!" Kyoko's eyes widened. "If that's true then the solution to my problem would be…"
"…letting your feelings be more open in reality." Finished the penguin.
He wasn't looking at Kyoko. His gaze was somewhere else, his posture stiff. Why was he looking so upset? She was the one that had to get her heart broken if she wanted to keep her role.
Kyoko gripped her seat as if the world were threatening to overturn her. She couldn't imagine it. Letting herself act freely around Tsuraga-san? To smile when she wanted to and allow others to see how his words and smiles affected her? The thought was positively terrifying.
"I can't." she murmured. "If he sees…"
"Then you'll never be a good actress."
Kyoko flinched. The penguin's voice was cold as ice, cutting into her soul. The stuffed prop now seemed to extend past the ceiling, an undeniable rage engulfing it in darkness. Holy Hellen! What had she done to make him so mad?
"I see you are not genuine in your pursuit to succeed." Said the penguin, his voice merciless. "If you were, you would not hesitate to exhaust all your resources into helping you create your role. If you are imprudent, then it is because you are not willing to tackle your own weaknesses."
Kyoko bit her lip. "But…"
"My time is up." Said the penguin, suddenly turning away. "I chose not to let small inconveniences stop me from succeeding."
Without another word, the bird stomped away, creating little craters with every step.
Kyoko watched, time slipping past her slowly. Her mind eventually caught up with her heart and she gave a tired sigh.
The bird was right. She would never succeed if she didn't get over this weakness. The unwillingness to act foolish by falling in love. It was time for her to address one of her greatest scars. It was time to become an idiot again. Or else she'd really be an idiot for letting this stop her.
Ren was not in a good mood. That morning, a stunt double had kneed him in the stomach, the sushi for lunch had been bad, and someone had accidentally shredded his marked script on set. He'd been burned, doused with water, and stepped on by an assortment of clumsy people. Add on top of that two nights of a little too much alcohol, and his pounding head topped off this accumulation of disasters that seemed to be drawn to him.
The smile on his face was deadly.
Which naturally meant it KO'ed every woman in a fifteen-foot radius. It was perfect, as then none of them were in any state to talk to him.
Only Yashiro seemed to see the smile for what it truly was. A time bomb just waiting to explode. His manager snapped his phone shut, the man shaking as he turned to address Ren.
"You know that interview you had scheduled for this evening?"
Ren's smile was now trained on his manager.
"Had?" He repeated, still smiling.
Yashiro swallowed. "Umm, so. They had to cancel last minute. The host's daughter just went into labor and they figured since it was going to be recorded anyway they could… just…"
He trailed off, his voice shaking too much to continue. Ren was ignorant of his friend's plight. He was busy concentrating on not letting his smile snap.
This was it. Ren was done. He was done for the day and nothing anyone could say would stop him. He was going to walk out of LME and go home and enjoy another bottle of scotch. The headache would be even worse tomorrow, but the temporary relief just might make it worth it.
"S-since we have time, why don't we stop by the Love Me section?" said Yashiro. The man was striding alongside apparently recovered from his previous terror. "I'm sure Kyoko might be there."
"I do not want to bother Mogami-san." Said Ren, his voice carefully even. She was the last person he wanted to see. "I'm sure she is busy with her work."
"Oh, no she doesn't have anything she's working on at the moment." Said Yashiro, pulling up a calendar on his phone. "She should be in the break room right now."
Ren stopped. The corridor was empty save the two of them. It allowed Ren to let his smile slip, a glimpse of his current irritation being sent to his manager.
"No."
That's all he said, and Yashiro's white face told him the man had taken the hint.
They took the elevator to the parking garage, waiting for the machine to take them to ground level. Ren's mind went to dinner and he was wondering if he should just skip it all together when the doors opened.
He saw her standing by the curb. It was hard not to since she was still wearing her offensively pink uniform. His eyes instantly drank in her appearance, making note of fidgeting fingers and teeth tugging at her bottom lip. The desire to claim both with his lips was instantaneous, fueled by an intense jealousy he'd nursed the past two days.
Then she looked up, and their eyes met.
"Tsuruga-san!"
Kyoko nearly tripped in her enthusiasm to approach him, her smile as brilliant as the sun. Ren just stared, all previous irritation and desires put on hold. That smile. Where in the world had she learned to smile like that?
The girl reached them, greeting him with a polite bow. "I'm so sorry for cornering you out here." She said, still smiling as she straightened. Thankfully the wattage had dimmed enough for Ren to make a coherent thought, but it was still brilliant.
"It's not a problem." Said Ren. "Was there something you needed?"
"Yes! There is actually." Her teeth began worrying at her lip again. The faintest hint of a blush dusted her cheeks. "I was wondering. Could I make you lunch for tomorrow?"
Ren shot his manager a quick look. One that promised pain if he had anything to do with this.
"Did Yashiro complain again?" said Ren. "I promise you, I am eating just fine. Unless you would like me to document my lunch breaks again."
Kyoko shook her head, eyes full of an earnest glow. "I'm asking because I want to."
Ren's eyes widened.
She was asking because she wanted to? She hadn't been obligated by any other assignment. His mind was desperately telling his heart to calm down. To stop trying to connect the things he had heard in the penguin suit with what she was saying.
"Mogami-san." Said Ren. "Is this-
"It's for a role." Her face turned a shade darkener, no doubt partially due to interrupting her senpai. She scratched nervously at the back of her head. "I uh, need some help with my role so I was wondering if I could trouble you with a few things. I might act a little different so I ask you to bear with me if I confuse you with my actions."
Ren was careful with his next words. "Is this role something you can practice with anyone?"
Kyoko shook her head.
"You're the only one that can help me." She said. "I'm sorry if it's bothersome."
You're the only one.
Instantly all of Ren's troubles vanished. His headache was cured, angels were singing, and he was sure his gray hairs had recalled their previous color. Ren had hope. He had as close as he could get to a confirmation that he was the one she was in love with. If not, then she'd most likely fail to grasp her character and he'd learn that way. Until then, he was content to bask under the possible delusion that he was the one she held a flame for.
Kyoko blinked dazedly at him, though Ren was unsure why.
"You won't be a bother." Said Ren. "I would love to eat anything you make for me Mogami-san."
"Great!" said Kyoko. "I'll see you tomorrow Tsuruga-san."
She gave a beautiful bow, trotting to the elevator he had come out of. She was nearly at the doors when she stopped. Ren was watching her, so he saw her take a deep breath before she turned to face him again, her face screwed up in determination.
"Would it be alright if I texted you tomorrow?" she said. "Just to ask about the lunch of course." She added hurriedly.
Ren smiled, tapping on the phone in his coat pocket. "I'll be waiting for your text then."
She beamed even as the elevator doors closed, obscuring her from his sight.
Yashiro crept up beside Ren, staring at the place Kyoko had disappeared with a strange expression on his face.
"Kyoko hardly texts people." Said Yashiro.
"You're right." Said Ren
"She was waiting for you here, to trap you before you left."
"It's not the first time she's done something like that."
Yashiro rounded on Ren, his eyes alight. "Ren! This is progress. Though it's small progress you should be thrilled all the same. Especially since you probably didn't do anything to earn this sudden attention from Kyoko."
"You shouldn't be so worked up about the small things." Said Ren, walking to his car. "Else you'll go bald before your forties."
Yashiro scoffed about Ren all the way to the car and out of the parking lot. His rambles fell on deaf ears though as Ren reviewed his short conversation with Kyoko and the possible implications of it. He couldn't stop his professional mask from slipping, earning more than a few comments from Yashiro. But it wasn't enough to deter him.
Afterall, he was in a good mood.