Storm's End, 278 AC
Stannis and Robert are standing by the windows, staring at the unleashed sea. Maester Cressen is behind them and presses their shoulders with his hands, before closing his eyes, horrified. The boys don't close their eyes. Stannis gasps with fear when he sees the waves covering entirely the Windproud.
Their parents had left weeks ago to Volantis to help Aerys Targaryen to find a bride for his son Rhaegar. Targaryens and Baratheons were pretty close and Steffon had accepted gladly. They had thought about taking Renly, but Cassana suddenly changed her mind. The baby would stay with his brothers. They sent a letter when they were on their way back, saying they hadn't found a maid, but they did find a very funny fool, who was coming back with them.
Robert closes his eyes a second when he hears the terrorized yells ringing out in the night. The storm is terrible but the Windproud holds. For now. The boat, despite the howling wind, the giant waves that almost crush it, gets closer and closer from the castle. Robert smiles with relief and turns to his brother but Stannis stays grave and pale.
"Come on boys, let's leave" Cressen whispers but Stannis doesn't move.
"I want to watch", the boy whispers.
His eyes follow every movements of the ship, thunder makes him shiver and thunderbolt lightens up a strange glimpse in his eyes. His fists are tightly clenched, his arms stuck to his ribs, but he cannot stop his shoulders from shaking, the knot in his stomach from intensifying. Suddenly, he runs away. Cressen does not even have time to stop him and Robert yells at him. But Stannis does not care. He runs as fast as he can, climbing down the stairs, jumping the last steps, running out of the castle. Proudwing cries when he runs in front of her, but he doesn't stop either. He cannot hear Cressen when he walks out: the wind is too noisy, the sea too violent. The waves crash on the cliff, leaving them whiter with foam. Stannis's hair is soon dripped with rain but he keeps running, only stops when he reaches the wet sand of the beach. He remains speechless, his heart hammering against his chest with fear and anguish, as he looks at the ship suddenly being violently pushed against the cliff by a wave huger than the others. The noise of the wood cracking is deafening. The yells of the men are worse. But Stannis doesn't move. He calls at his parents, at his father, his mother. They are good swimmers, every Baratheon is, and he knows they can join the beach. He sees people jumping off the ship before it sinks, but the ship falls on them. And, suddenly, all the yells stop. Stannis's hope does not fade away tho. He stays still on the beach, his eyes staring at the exact place where the ship has sunk.
Robert stays with maester Cressen: they cannot send men to look for survivors, the storm is still violent and if a big ship as the Windproud can be sank, any small boat would be. Cressen gives a sorry look to the sea: there is no hope they would find survivors, they know it very well. What matters now is to find Stannis, and to bring him back here. He leaves Robert with a servant and looks for Stannis outside. The maester hears yells and cries coming from the beach. He hastily walks there, and sees the young boy, on his knees, staring at the sea, still hoping for his parents to appear. Cressen slows down, not knowing how the boy will react and he carefully wraps his arms around his shoulders to make him stand up again. He is pretty surprised when he sees the boy does not resist at all. On the contrary, he doesn't react, and follows obediently the maester. He puts him in bed himself, after servants had undressed him and given him clean and dry clothes. Cressen stays with him, but Stannis turns his back at him and refuses to say anything. With a sigh, Cressen sits on an armchair and falls asleep.
When he wakes up the following morning, Stannis's bed is empty. He hastily places a hand on the sheets: they're already cold. Immediately, he goes back to the beach. The storm has stopped before dawn and a bright sun is shining. The place where the ship sunk is quiet and still. No one could guess what happened here. Is it how things go? You die and, the day after, it looks like you never even existed. Mother, Father. Stannis hears those names in his head, he can see their faces, the heartily laugh of his father, so alike his brother's one. His mother's sweet smile and how her hair was tickling him when she wished him a goodnight. And Renly… Renly who was barely walking, already an orphan. He would not even remember them. He will, Stannis firmly asserts silently. I'll never forget about them and I'll never let him forget where he comes from. He wipes his tears away rageously. If Robert was seeing him now, he would mock him for sure.
"Stannis?"
He swiftly turns to the voice and faces Maester Cressen. The looks on his face, not pitiful, but hurt, deeply hurt, just makes him feel like he is going to cry even more.
"Come, Stannis… There's nothing you can do for them…" Cressen takes a step forward.
"But, maybe… maybe they could swim… Father is strong… Mother is too… Maybe they could have reached a rock and… and lie there waiting for help… Maybe they could have survived… Maybe…"
But Stannis knows, deep inside, none of them has survived. His voice breaks and he turns around from Crassen. But the maester can see his shoulders jolting and the snifflings. Stannis had always hidden his feelings. Cressen had never known why. But he weirdly feels relieved to see him crying, as if he had lost hope he could express something one day. He gets closer again, unsure, but Stannis doesn't react, and he wraps his cloak around the young boy's shoulders. Stannis suddenly turns around and hugs him tight, loud and noisy sobs escaping his lips. Cressen hugs him back, feeling his own tears filling his eyes. He eyes one last time the place where the ship has sunk, and they walk back to the castle.
Two days after, as they have a walk by the beach after saying farewell to Robert, riding back to the Eyrie, they find a body on it: Cressen immediately remembers Steffon's letter and he brings the fool back to the castle. Harbert Baratheon, now Storm's End's castellan as the children are too young, tells him to kill the boy, because he would not survive. Cressen refuses and takes good care of the boy. Stannis sometimes goes see him. He cannot believe this fool has survived but not his parents. The castle is weirdly silent since they died: no more laughs, no more shouts. Stannis studies a lot to stop thinking about this night, and Maester Cressen congratulates him for his good job. He trains with swords, but he loves better studying the great battles of Westeros, trying to figure out why the winner had lost, and what the loser could have done to win. He spends hours reading books, by Maester Cressen and, when weather is good, he goes to the beach and has swims. Cressen hates it: he couldn't afford losing him in turn. So he stays by the beach, watching him swimming further every day. He doesn't know why he does that, if it's because he still thinks his parents could be alive or if it's because he wants to test his own limits. Then, when Stannis is too tired, he walks out of the water and Cressen wraps a towel around his body. They walk back to the castle, together, and Harbert takes him with him when he receives the common people and the Lords of the Stormlands. Stannis is not the Lord of Storm's End, Robert is, but Robert is far away in the north and both Harbert and Cressen feel there is something about Stannis which make him a better ruler than Robert. Stannis goes on studying until sun sets and he shares his dinner with Cressen and Harbert. This one takes him to the Sept so he talks about his parents's death but it seems obvious Stannis has lost faith in them. Tonight, as Cressen walks with him in his bedroom and that he lies in the sheets, he turns to him:
"Do you believe in the Gods, Maester Cressen?" the little boy asks.
"I do", he replies, sitting on the bed by the boy.
A boy, he thinks. Not really a boy anymore. The long hours spent swimming had developed his muscles and he's slowly turning into a teenager. He'll probably never be as strong and tall as Robert, but he is still close to him. Tho, deep inside, he has remained the shy little boy, pretty thoughtful and lonely. His voice is changing too, getting more affirmed and grave.
"Is it bad to not believe in them?" Stannis asks again.
Cressen shakes his head:
"The most important is to believe in you, Stannis. What happened to your parents was terrible and you could blame the Gods for that. Some people would say it's the destiny, some would say they were unlucky. I have loved your father and your mother and I have served them the best I could. And I will serve you, and I hope I'll live long enough to see you having children of your own."
Stannis stares at him:
"Do you think I'll find a woman one day?"
Cressen frowns:
"Why wouldn't you?"
The child shrugs and has this half-sad, half-upset pout of his.
"Robert is strong and tall and handsome", he mumbles. "And all the servants say Renly is cute…"
"Don't compare you to your brothers. Each one of you has his own qualities and flaws. Robert may be handsome but he is lazy and too flirty with girls. Renly is just a baby, I don't know how he will be once a grown up but he cannot be perfect. Nobody is", Cressen tries to reassure him.
The deep blue eyes turn to him:
"I am not sure a woman will love my qualities."
"Every woman loves a clever and brave man. And that's what you'll turn into, Stannis. I'm sure of that."
Stannis nods silently and yawns. Cressen stands up:
"It is late. Goodnight, my Lord."
A slight smile enlightens the boy's face:
"Goodnight, Maester Cressen."
He curls up and closes his eyes, and Cressen stays for a long moment, just watching him, before going to see Renly, who is having a bad cough lately, and checks everything is okay with him. If he had to compare them as babies, he would say Renly and Stannis are as different as night and day. Renly, from the moment he was born, has always been cheerful and happy, laughing often. Stannis has been curious, thoughtful. He was not a smiling baby, at least a lot less than his brothers. But he was the happiest when his parents were there. He was happier than Robert when Cassana told them she was pregnant again. Cressen had known the middle child's place was not an easy one, but he thought it would perfectly fit Stannis. Robert would have been always jealous if he had been in his place. And still, Stannis had always felt as the less loved of the three children. Cassana could be cuddly and sweet with them, Stannis was looking for his father's love, and Robert was stealing this love with being the one Steffon was the proudest of. Cressen thinks about all that as he takes Renly in his arms and checks on him. As usual, the boy gives him a charming smile and Cressen gently strokes his black hair before lying him down in bed.