Dragonstone, 291 AC
Days are sweet and cheerful for Aylis and Stannis. They spend their time between Dragonstone and King's Landing, where Stannis is still a part of the small council, and Shireen grows up fine. Aylis has been a bit skeptical about this name, finding it looks like an Essos name, but Stannis has been so sure about his choice she had given in. After some months, she has to admit the name is perfect for their daughter: Shireen is an adorable baby, all smiles and babbles, very cute and sweet. She has Stannis's eyes and Aylis's cheekbones, and Stannis always says she will be gorgeous when she will be older. Aylis smiles when he says that, but often regrets that the baby is a girl. She remembers Robert's face when she has taken the baby to court for the first time, and how he has mocked Stannis for "not being able to make a son". Aylis has felt so guilty, because, to her, it has been her fault if the baby has not been a boy. She has even asked the Queen her advice on what she has done to have Joffrey. Cersei has laughed and told her there has not been anything she needed to do except spreading her legs. Aylis has blushed and has remained silent. The relationship between Cersei and Robert makes her very ill at ease. There is no love between them, everybody sees it, and she does not understand. Of course, she knows she is incredibly lucky to have Stannis, that she loves him and that he loves her, although he never says it, but she does not understand why Robert and Cersei have never grown affection towards each other. Cat and Ned have, despise their differences, and this story about his bastard boy. Aylis dislikes Robert more and more, but she has to admit he's funnier than Stannis. He has qualities, and Cersei has too, so, to her, they should love each other. She barely imagines them having sex, she wonders how it is when you can't stand the other. With Stannis, it feels more incredible every time, it surprises her that she is not pregnant again yet.
They are back in Dragonstone for a few weeks, time Stannis takes care of the business here, and Aylis is walking around the market with a small guard, Shireen in her arms. They pass by a Dornish merchant, selling all kind of toys for children and Shireen squeals, pointing her little finger to a doll. Aylis looks at it: it is not very pretty, but her daughter obviously wants it, so she gets closer from the merchant. He is a middle aged man, his face burnt by the Dornish sun, and his eyes are sweet and his smile charming.
"My Lady", he says with a strong accent, and bows.
Aylis smiles nicely at him, and points at the doll, when Shireen whimpers to have it:
"How much for this doll, merchant?" Aylis asks.
"Five coppers, my Lady", he bows again.
It is a bit expensive, but Aylis has money, and she likes to be generous with small folks. She nods at the guards and one of them gives the five coppers to the Dornishman. The man bows a last time, and holds the doll to Shireen, who squeals with happiness and presses the face of the doll against her cheek in a cute cuddle. Aylis smiles, and they leave, Shireen waving goodbye at the merchant. They keep wandering in the market and end up walking back to the castle. Aylis places Shireen in her crib, and goes eat with Stannis. They enjoy sharing their meals together, just the two of them, and they talk about the morning, what they have done, how is Westeros, and so on. Aylis tells him she bought a doll for Shireen and he warns her not to spoil her too much. Aylis rolls her eyes and stays silent. After lunch, they stay a moment together; Aylis goes and sits on his lap when the servants have cleared the table. Stannis is not very fond of cuddles, but she hopes he could change his mind, with time. Aylis loves nothing more than these cute moments, when she can stroke his cheeks, sometimes ill shaved, sometimes neat and soft as a baby's skin. Mostly, she is the one stroking, the one burying her face in his neck and smelling him as she would smell the best scent in the world, but sometimes, he allows himself to run his hands on her back, to lean his face against her neck. Then he would talk, suddenly, and tell her about memories he has from his parents, from Robert, he would worry about Renly and regret the time when they were close. She would listen, religiously, stroking his dark hair, comforting him. But today, the cuddling does not last, and Aylis goes to see Shireen, just to check everything is okay. She gets in the baby's room, silent, and she smiles as she hears the regular and sweet breathing of her baby. Just being by her side makes her feel milk rushing to her nipples and she winces slightly with the pain it causes. She gets closer, Shireen is sleeping with her baby doll, and she leans over. She frowns as she sees a weird shadow on the baby's cheek and she holds her hand to check it is nothing. She gasps when she feels a strong hand grabbing her wrist, a few inches from her daughter's cheek. Aylis turns around confused: it's Stannis who has done this; it's him who is standing by her side. She looks at him confused, and he says, seriously, and taking her away from the baby:
"Greyscale."
Aylis moves away from him:
"What are you talking about?"
"Shireen has greyscale."
He does not look sad, or even shocked, as if he was talking about a simple cold. Aylis gets back to the crib, then back at him:
"It's impossible…"
Stannis sighs, grabs a piece of cloth, goes to the crib and takes the doll off Shireen. He throws the cloth and the doll in a fire, and looks at Aylis.
"Look."
Aylis slowly walks to the crib: the baby has moved a bit, disturbed in her sleep, and is now leaning on her right cheek. Aylis wants to yell but Stannis's hand is already on her mouth and she cries loudly, her desperate shouts stifled by his hand. He holds her close, and whispers:
"We'll heal her… I will not let her die like this… You hear me…"
She nods frenetically but she has not heard anything, not listened to him. All that she knows is that her baby is going to die. Greyscale does not kill people, indeed, but it would be all the same. Extremely contagious, they would have to send her to Old Valyria, where the disease would spread and would at best drive her mad, at worse; change her into a stone girl. Stannis would not let this happen, he would kill her before, and, if she cannot, Aylis would do it. Before she knows it, Aylis is back in to her room, and she does not know who has taken her here, and where Stannis is. She hears orders shouted through the castle, to burn the sheets and everything Shireen could have touched. She hurriedly takes off her dress and throws it into the fire, lies down on her bed and cries her eyes out. She's her little girl, she cannot die like this. She sniffles loudly and gasps as she feels something wet against her, realizing milk has flooded out of her nipples and stained the bed. She gets naked and presses her breasts to extract the milk, crying now with the pain. When she feels better, she gets dressed again, and asks to see Shireen. Cressen is with the little girl, wearing a kind of mask to protect him from the infection, and Stannis refuses that her mother be with her. For hours, Aylis paces up and down, in her room: no one tells her how is Shireen, Stannis does not come to see her and she thinks she's going to become crazy. Unable to hold it anymore, she storms out of her room while the sun is setting on Dragonstone, and comes in Stannis's room, without knocking, or anything. He is sit at his desk, writing on some parchments, and he looks up at her. Mad with anxiety and sadness, she glares at him, and, with a sudden movement, sweeps away with her arm the parchments, the quills, the ink, everything that is on Stannis's desk. He does not stop her; he has not had time to do so. He just raises his hands to avoid getting ink staining his clothes and he closes his eyes with the sound of the inkwell breaking as it touches the cold damps of the room. Then he stares at her, pacing up and down like a caged lion.
"Aylis", he starts, but she turns to him with a demented look.
"How can you stay here? How can you not care about what happened? Our daughter is dying, and you don't care! What kind of father are you? You are a monster! A monster!"
She does not think any words, she just wants to hurt him, to see him reacting, to see him being angry, or sad, but to see him feel something. The look he gives to her frightens her like never, and, when he stands up, her blood turns to ice. In two strides, he is against her:
"Do you think I don't feel anything? Do you think I am not terrified like you, sad like you? Do you know what I was doing before you storm in here? I was sending letters to every maester of the realm, every apothecary, and every person able to help her! What have you done, Aylis, to help her, except yelling and crying? Do you think your tears will stop greyscale? DO YOU?" he ends up yelling and she instinctively raises her hands to protect herself. She has never been scared of him, until this moment. Aylis slowly shakes her head, trying hard to hold back her tears. Stannis walks away from her, pours a cup of water that he places in her shaking hand. She drinks slowly, shaking so much most of water pours out. She watches him grabbing all the things she had swept away and she silently joins him. He takes a new inkwell, the quill and new parchments and he writes again, still without a word. She looks at him, takes a step on to apologize but he says with a cold voice:
"Now, get out. I have work."
She does not protest and quickly leaves the room, her heart still hammering with the fear she felt.
Along the days and the weeks, people invade Dragonstone: from the North to Dorne, even coming from Essos, they are numerous to answer the letters from Stannis. With each new maester, Aylis has a new hope, which vanishes as soon as the maester leaves with apologies. Shireen is only a baby, but she feels something is wrong, and spends her days crying, and her nights whimpering. The maesters assure Aylis and Stannis she does not ache, and Aylis tries to stay the closest she can from her. Handmaids have shown her how to extract her milk and they are able to feed Shireen with it. But she dies… Aylis dies to take her in her arms, to feel her sweet breath and her lips wrapping around her nipples to suckle, her little fingers playing with the brown hair of her mother. And when she sees her mother, Shireen cries louder, staring at her, begging her to pick her up and to hold her tightly in her arms, and she does not understand why they all look at her and do nothing, nothing to ease her pain.
Several weeks later, Aylis has fallen asleep, exhausted, by the crib. The heat of Dragonston's sun makes her wince and she opens her eyes, only to be blinded by the light of the sun rays. She immediately turns to the crib, and gasps with fear when she sees it's empty.
"Shireen!" she cries out and a strong voice calmly retorts:
"Don't shout."
She turns to her husband and sees him walking around the room, holding a smiling Shireen. Aylis is happy to be sitting, for she would have fainted if she would have been standing.
"Stannis… What are you doing! You can't hold her! The greyscale…!" she stammers, afraid.
Stannis stares at her:
"Look…"
His hand slowly reaches the face of the baby, and Shireen giggles. Aylis stares at him, at his hand stroking the greyscaled cheek, and she gasps with fear.
"It's alright… She is healed…"
"Healed? How? When?" she stammers again, getting closer nevertheless.
"I don't know whose maester has healed her. I don't know if it's an apothecary. It does not matter. She is healed. Cressen confirmed it to me. She will live, and will only have her left cheek stained with the illness", Stannis calmly retorts.
The baby starts wailing, and Stannis stares at Aylis, dumbfounded, freezing, and unable to do or say whatsoever.
"I think she is hungry", he places the baby in Aylis's arms. She gasps as he does so, but he stares at her eyes:
"She is fine. She is healthy."
She trusts him and Shireen immediately rummages her nose against Aylis's breast, smelling the scent of the milk, and starving. With a swift movement, Aylis bares her breast, and she gasps almost with ecstasy as the lips close around her nipples and eagerly suckles milk out. A tear rolls down her cheek and she feels Stannis's finger wiping it away. She looks up at him, and smiles, before she leans her face against his arm, his hand strongly grabbing the back of the chair.