He reads the letters several times over the next two days, folds them open and shut so much that the parchment starts to rip in the creases.
It's stupid, obsessing over the words of someone he can't stand to be around. But the letters don't feel like that person. They connect him to a shred of the Loki he held on the space shuttle.
So he keeps the locket tucked under his shirt at all times and focuses his attention on blasting every known element at the Tesseract. Nothing so much as chips the surface, not even the as-of-yet unnamed element in his arc reactors. It doesn't even flicker when he takes it to the Arizona base and sends it on a light speed trip around the particle accelerator.
The cube baffles him, but that's what makes science fun. 'There's always tomorrow' is his new motto, because, seriously, there is. He had Jarvis run the math, and even at half an Asgardian lifespan, Tony is going to see nine hundred thousand more sunsets in his life. At least. God knows how much medical technology will advance by then.
There are some jumbled attempts at a response to Loki's letter, but he can't seem to force the right words into a meaningful order. It's funny, people are always calling out his charisma when they want to get him riled. Always a witty comeback huh Stark, I wonder what happens when the laughter stops? Yet when he tries to put that talent down on paper it just seems insufficient.
The phrases sound forced, or too insensitive without a certain tone to give them context, too harsh without a wink and a smirk to make them funny or diffusing like he intends. So in the end he takes the out Loki left him and doesn't write a direct response.
Instead of eloquent words he sends news. The sticky notes live by the egg now, with a nice juicy Sharpie and a photo printer.
He sends photos every day, anything interesting or cute that the sprouts do around the house. Fenrir holding a tablet where he wrote his name for the first time. Hela buzzing Jori's hair. He tries really hard to come up with commentary worth the paper, but it's usually just lame high school locker crap like "Fen's horns grew an inch!" or "Hela, the Indomitable Laundry Girl".
One day he's feeling especially impotent and draws a lopsided heart. He's literally never drawn a heart in his life so it comes out looking like a kidney with diarrhea. He burns that one with a blowtorch and sends a smiley face instead, as if that's any better.
The penis shaped sailboat almost makes the cut, but he chickens out. Maybe Loki hates these dumb notes and something like that would just put them back at rock bottom. He puts that one in the lab though, because it's the pinnacle of his artistic achievement.
Loki doesn't respond once for the rest of the week, so Tony isn't sure if he's helping or hurting. There's nothing else he can offer him, so he keeps sending his silly tokens. As the week turns into two he keeps sending them, more and more each day when the kids find out and demand he show Loki this and that.
Tony's not sure when exactly he signed up to be a family man, but here he is. The bits need an adult and their dad is a bag of dicks, so Tony puts his life on pause and does his damnedest not to be Howard Stark.
It all starts to seem normal until Loki materializes in the living room on Friday night while Walt and Jesse plan to build another meth lab on TV. At first he's annoyed because, hello, Mike can't afford to bribe the snitches in prison anymore, what a fucking plot twist. Then Loki collapses and turns the crack in the coffee table into a pile of glass shards with his face, and Tony grows the fuck up.
Hela freaks out a little, and he can't blame her. Loki's in Jotun skin, but it's ashy and almost powder blue. His chin looks like an ice pick and feels about as cold when he cups Loki's face and pulls one eyelid open to shine a flashlight in.
His eyes respond, which is a relief. Tony's torn between dragging Loki down to the lab for an IV and dunking him in a boiling bath. When Hela asks him somewhat hysterically what she should do, he decides to split the difference and tells her to turn on the jacuzzi.
The saline drip is easy enough, once he gets the fucking needle through Loki's stupid impervious giant skin. Dragging his dead weight down three floors to the spa suite is the hard part.
Loki splashes into the acrid chlorinated water like a boulder in a rock slide, still fully clothed with his boots on. Tony isn't sure what to do after that, so he pokes and annoys Hela until she can't stand to be around him and agrees to watch her brothers.
His shirt comes off as soon as the elevator dings, and his pants shortly after. It's the least sexy soak they've ever had, but he promises to rectify that if Loki bounces back. When. When Loki bounces back.
The hot tub straight up overflows when he jumps in, but he doesn't care. His only interest is in getting Loki out of his leathers so he can assess the situation. It takes way too long thanks to fucking Asgardian fashion, and in the end he just cuts the damn pants off with surgical scissors.
The sight of Loki's uncovered body does not reassure him. He's emaciated, muscles cut and defined like his Aesir form, but Tony knows that's not how it's supposed to look.
Remember to eat he recalls from Loki's letter, the fucking hypocrite. How does the Allfather not eat and nobody notices? You'd think Loki would be gaining weight on fatty knights of the round table food. Half of their meals are cooked in boar's fat for fuck's sake.
Now he has him naked, it's plain to see that Loki isn't injured apart from the bruise on his cheek where he headbutted the coffee table. The lack of obvious cause is unnerving.
Tony dips into the corner seat and tugs Loki's weightless body into his lap. This part probably doesn't have any medical value, but it makes him feel better while he waits.
It's night time through the building's glass walls, and he doesn't believe in clocks hanging around judging him for working fourteen hour days, so time becomes elusive. He doesn't know how long he sits there biting his tongue to ribbons and occasionally patting Loki on the cheek and telling him to wake up.
The waiting ends when Bruce Banner pads out of the yoga studio one level up and waves. The good doctor is easily Tony's favorite Avenger that he wouldn't fuck. The one that he would is obviously Natasha, but of the rest of them Bruce is king. He's fuzzy, brilliant, and generous with his good weed, which is Tony's mark of a decent guy.
Right now he's really, really unhappy to see him. Amidst all the chaos of the last two months, Tony hasn't really gotten around to telling anyone else Loki is alive. Not to mention that whoever found out obviously couldn't tell Thor, which Tony knew would be a sticking point for most of them.
So when Bruce waves at him, his heart kind of stops. Banner is all relaxed and wrapped in warm light from the bamboo partition around the yoga mats, wearing a pair of baggy linen drawstrings and a scoop neck tee like a yuppie half his age, and Tony just knows he's gonna ruin his day. Bruce must be a little high because it takes a second, but when he processes what he's seeing his hand flops down like a dead fish.
"Still not the worst thing you've caught me doing." Tony says, at the same time Bruce shouts, "What the hell, Tony, what the actual-"
And, ok, this might be worse than the time Tony pulverized the ancient Tibetan holy crystal to salt his margarita. But right now it doesn't matter, he just needs Bruce to not go green and maybe not blow Loki's cover to the rest of the team.
That, and he definitely needs Bruce to not try and murderize him while he's naked with a blue alien in a jacuzzi. He gets one wish, which is that Bruce is a very healthy pink when he takes the stairs two at a time down to the pool level.
"Oh this is definitely worse than Canada." Bruce says, fussing with his curly hair.
"Canada? Really, that's your pick?" Tony stalls, slipping and sliding while he tries to get around Loki and stand in front.
"Oh god, tell me you're wearing something." Bruce says. He holds his hand flat to cover Tony's better half and squints. "There are some things I can't know about you, man."
"I'm covered. He isn't." Tony says, climbing out of the jacuzzi and dripping all over the steps. "So maybe you should turn around. You won't see anything, and he won't kill me for letting someone see him like this."
"Oh my god, is that Loki?" Bruce gasps, like seriously hands-over-the-mouth gasps like a telenovela, then quotes in an awed voice, "Tony, you got some 'splainin to do."
"I know, I know look-"
"He's supposed to be dead, how is he not dead?"
"Yeah, do that for another two weeks and you'll be where I'm at. Now either go upstairs and forget you saw this or help me figure out what's wrong with him." Tony says. That seems to break Bruce out of his shock. Reminds him of that pesky doctor's oath he swore.
"I take it he's not supposed to look like that?" Bruce asks.
"Well, no, he-' Tony hesitates, knowing that Loki wouldn't like him revealing anything. "he's pale. Paler than he should be. And thinner."
"Why the hot tub?"
"He was cold. Resting body temp should be 107." Tony says. "He blacked out right after porting in."
"I have a heat lamp in my lab." Bruce offers, and it's such a relief that Tony almost hugs him dripping wet.
In Bruce's lab everything seems more controlled. Tony isn't sure why he didn't do this in the first place. They lay him up on a gurney and cover the metal in blankets so they don't burn the building down, and then Bruce bakes him like a rotisserie chicken. His skin gets some color back, but he still won't wake up when Tony calls him. His life signs are fading, which is alarming.
"Huh." Bruce says over an array of holograms. "Long list of stomach contents. He's been eating."
That surprises Tony. There's no denying the state of Loki, but the tests don't lie.
"Melatonin levels are waking normal. He's not trying to sleep." Tony replies.
"So he's not sick, or injured, or starving." Bruce summarizes, "But he's dying."
Tony watches the heart monitor in complete disarray.
"It's like he's out of energy, but-" Tony trails off, thinking.
Oh. Well, duh. Tony runs for the elevator.
"Leave the lights on, honey." he tells Bruce, "I'll be right back."
The ride up to the penthouse is a blur. He doesn't stop once. Even when he sees Hela asleep in Loki's chair, he floats past and throws the door to his closet open. Clothes, way too many clothes get in the way as he shoves them aside and keys in his pass code to the small black safe hidden in the wall. He bends down and lets it scan his eye, and when it pops open he grabs the mangled little half apple and slams the door on the way out.
Tony walks back in the lab a lot more confidently than he left. He tosses the magic fruit in one hand like a baseball, and really, really wants to throw it at Loki's unconscious head.
Instead he stalks to the kitchenette in the far corner of the lab and slaps down a cutting board. Tony isn't really one for knives, but he still has all his fingers by the end so mission accomplished. Everything but the core is now in a pile of neat slices. He carries the tray to Loki's bedside and sits.
"Should I be seeing this?" Bruce asks.
"Probably not." Tony admits, eyes stuck on Loki as he puts the smallest slice to his lips.
Bruce doesn't move. Nobody does for a very long couple of seconds while Tony tries to get Loki to wake up and eat. He doesn't respond to anything, not words or pats to his cheek or a flashlight in his eyes. Sighing, Tony slaps him on the jaw. Hard.
Loki's eyes flutter, and he inhales a shallow surprised groan. He works his tongue around what is probably a very unpleasant dry mouth, and Tony takes the opportunity to slide the apple slice in.
"Eat."
Loki coughs around the obstruction, dry and wheezy. A plastic cup of ice chips finds its way into Tony's hand and he is so stupidly grateful for Bruce. A few chips go a long way. Loki breathes more evenly, and Tony hands the ice to Bruce.
There's no internal monologue in Tony's head, no diverging trains of thought. Everything is eerily silent as he pulls out a bowl and a fork and pulverizes the apple to mush. He's scared and quietly furious, but all that can wait. Everything but him forcing Loki's life force back inside his stupid, empty skull can take a number.
Bruce seems to read something in Tony's posture and skedaddles. Closes up his workspace, hangs up his lab coat, and tells Tony to call him if he needs anything. He is really the best doctor in the building, and there are a lot of options.
He stalks back over to Loki's side and dips two fingers in the sauce. The bowl lands on a metal tray by the bed and Tony's free hand grips Loki by his narrow chin. He still hasn't opened his eyes, but his skin knows Tony's fingers and relaxes slightly under them. His mouth sags open and his weak exhales ghost on Tony's knuckles. He's so furious with Loki his hands are shaking.
"Suck." Tony says in his most guttural assertive voice.
It's not his boss voice. Experience taught him that people are loyal to friends, not tyrants, so he prefers to be the nice guy at work. He always throws good office parties, and makes sure everyone knows they can come to him with their problems. So yeah, this tone isn't his boss voice.
The tone he uses with Loki is bedroom only, and even then only a couple of people have heard it. Loki damn sure hasn't heard him give an order before, because it's hard enough to get a straight answer without going Indiana Jones on his ass. Not this time. This time Loki is going to be a good boy and do what Tony says. Right now. And Tony doesn't give a shit whether or not Loki wants to.
"Suck." he repeats.
Loki does. Closes his warm lips and delicately takes down the crushed soul juice. The rhythm in his chest stutters, then starts again stronger. It's working.
"Good." he rasps, voice cracking and scoops another mouthful on his fingers. Presses them against Loki's lips.
"Open." Tony orders, and something primal and gruff rumbles in his gut when Loki obeys immediately, as much as he is able. Weak but trying with every fiber to please him. Tony slides his fingers over Loki's tongue and he drinks the nectar without Tony needing to tell him.
"Good, Loki." he says. Replacing the finger with his lips, just for a moment, just to reassure himself that there is power yet in his lover's body.
"Tony." he mumbles, and Tony lines his fingers up once more. Loki's strength is returning.
When he feels the fingers there he rubs his chapped lips into Tony's knuckles, a sinful drag of soft skin before he sucks all the way down and licks them until they are clean. He's thorough, laving that hot tongue into the swirling fingerprints and deep into the webbing between them.
"Okay." Tony chokes, alarmed by how much Loki turns him on even while he wants to hammer a list of his crimes to the wall and shove his face in it. "Good, Loki. Open."
Loki opens his eyes along with his mouth, and they are glassy and unfocused. Only half there. A pool of juice and a few pulpy scraps are all that is left in the bowl so he cups it in his hand and wraps his other around the back of Loki's neck. He holds his head up and tilts the bowl.
"Drink. All of it."
"Yes, Tony." Loki whispers into the bowl and sips it. Doesn't spill a drop and looks up at him when he's done, licking the last of it from his lips.
"See. You can be taught." Tony says, "I solved another of life's great mysteries."
"Suck and swallow are hardly complex lessons." Loki mumbles, and Tony feels like he can function normally again. That's his Loki, the one that drives him crazy.
"Crawl before you walk, Snowflake." he says.
"Then how would you have me walk?" Loki asks. His face is open, and shit he actually wants to know. There's no game in the question, no playful double talk. Loki wants Tony to tell him.
Observations bounce around like pinball in his head, and suddenly he understands what their problem has been the whole time. Since day one Tony has been thinking that the sex is the reward for them getting along. If he can just get over Loki's past, then he gets to eat the forbidden fruit.
Sex isn't the reward for Loki, it's how he earns the reward. The safety of the tower, the simplicity of Tony throwing him down and giving him what he can't ask for. That's his motivator. And now that Loki's made a mistake and he's in danger, Tony took that away.
He is glad for Loki's question. It buys him time to rewrite the handbook. This is what Tony has to work with, and Jesus fuck does he want to keep it. He wants to build Loki up like one of his suits until he's perfect and unstoppable and roman numerals are impractical to count his iterations. But Loki's a pile of cave scrap right now and he's been trying to handle him like a Mark III. He needs a new plan.
Tony runs a hand through the matted hair between Loki's horns and paces to the fridge. Grabs some supplies and arranges them on the tray by Loki's bed. Neat rows, because Loki needs that. You can't make chaos without order to disrupt. He watches Tony carefully, confused, as he makes a display of Gatorade bottles, granola bars, and yogurt cups.
If Loki wants clear instructions, Tony can do that.
"Red bottle you drink now. Half the blue after that and then the yogurt. In two hours, you finish the blue bottle and this bar." Tony says firmly, no cracks, no spaces for misunderstanding. "Not any of the others, this one."
Loki nods, brows lowered in consideration.
"Is that all?" he asks, like he doesn't trust something this simple to be anything but a trap. Well he wouldn't, would he.
"No. Then we're going to sleep and in the morning you're going to eat the rest. That's where you get a choice." Tony says, "If you do all that stuff we just talked about, you pick anything you want and I'll do it."
"Anything?" Loki asks.
"Anything. But if you don't-" Tony swallows around a lump in his throat. This is the part of the leather and lace crowd he's not good with, the reason he's only done this a couple times. Punishment never sounded that sexy to him. But here he is, in desperate need of a deterrent. "Loki, I want you to really listen here, because I'm serious."
"Yes, Tony?" Loki says, in a way that is becoming way too comfortable.
"If you don't do this, if you can't work with me on something as simple as keeping you alive, I'm done. Okay? I'm not pulling double duty in this relationship anymore. You have to tell me what you're thinking, and what you want."
Loki looks wrecked, his red eyes gleaming and scanning Tony's face like there's something hidden in his hairline.
"I-I don't-" Loki pleads. Tony grabs him by the back of the neck and squeezes. Wraps a finger in his long hair and pulls, and watches Loki melt into it. Watches him make the adaptation and nod weakly.
"I know it's tough for you. I'm willing to be whatever you need to make this easier." Tony says, running his finger lightly down Loki's neck groove, letting him feel Tony and break down what he's feeling. "I want you so much. But you have to meet me halfway."
"Give me the red one then." Loki murmurs, scratchy and low through his stretched back throat. Tony tightens his hand in Loki's hair.
It feels harsh, hurting him when he was dying minutes ago, but that's why it's necessary. The vital signs were dropping slowly, Loki would have noticed days ago. He could have written a letter, he could have come back early. This man who has taken over Tony's entire life is killing himself, and he can't allow that. Ever again.
"Promise me, Loki. I've told you what I want, so promise me." Tony demands. Loki squeezes his eyes closed and clutches at Tony's forearms, but he makes his lips move.
"I promise to tell you what I think and what I want." Loki whispers sharply, shrinking as far into the thin cushion of the gurney as he can. Tony loosens his grip, and simultaneously that angry knot inside him loosens too.
Good behavior earns a reward, that's the new world order, so Tony folds down the metal rails on one side and straddles Loki's hips. Carefully wrapping his arms under Loki's and around his back, he pulls him into an embrace that engulfs Tony in warm, awkwardly long limbs. He runs his hands over Loki's back, over strong shoulder blades and delicate ribs. When Loki shivers he presses harder and reaches so he is cheek to cheek and whispering in Loki's ear.
"Thank you, Loki." Tony says with as much warmth and conviction as he can. "And I promise you'll always be safe with me. No matter what you do, you and your kids will be safe."
"You can't possibly promise that." Loki says, brittle and soft while he clings to Tony.
"I'm a genius, billionaire, philanthropist, demi-god. I can promise anything I want." Tony says and reaches for the red Gatorade. Uncaps it and holds it out. "Bottoms up."
Loki takes it and turns it upside down like a keg. He meets Tony's eyes while he does it with a see, this is me cooperating, look at me go expression. It's cheeky, and playful, and it breaks Tony inside. It's everything, absolutely everything he's wanted since the awful morning Loki left.
It's also a blatant challenge, so Tony rubs a deep stroke up Loki's stomach lines and laughs when he chokes. He totally loses his shit when Loki glares up at him through a curtain of hair that falls in his face while he hacks up a lung.
"What, you thought I wasn't gonna make it fun?" Tony smirks, then feigns shock. "You really thought I was just gonna sit here and watch you drink electrolyte juice."
"Perhaps I've forgotten your childish ways." Loki wheezes, but there's a smile hidden in the hair. He can see the dimples.
"Then perhaps I need to remind you. Come on, you have half the bottle left." Tony says, snapping his fingers and reaching down to drag a hand up Loki's belly right when he starts to drink. Loki is ready for it this time, and though he has a few close calls he takes it down like a senior at a party college. Tony has to admit it's kind of impressive. He's pleased enough to see the color coming back to Loki that he doesn't molest him while he drinks the blue bottle. That's not what tonight is about.
Tonight, Tony decides, is about convincing Loki to accept help. Proving he can rely on him. So he smooths the blanket over Loki's legs and peels the lid off the yogurt cup. It's one of Bruce's, so of course it's Greek, healthy, and thick as paste. Tony stirs it up just to make it resemble proper yogurt and holds the spoon out for Loki.
'I can feed myself." he grumbles, glaring like the spoon threatened his grandmother.
"Yeah." Tony says, "But I liked what we did earlier. I think you did too. So I want to do it again."
It's painstaking spelling it out, and it feels like the explanation removes half the appeal, but this is the new normal. This is their shambling relationship at ground zero, and he's not taking anything for granted. They tried to do this the fun way the first time. No dice. On round two he's going for broke.
"This is demeaning." Loki scowls, then checks Tony and sighs, "Fine, you may feed me the yogurt. The yogurt I am capable of eating myself."
"Amen." Tony groans, and spares Loki the choo choo noises. If Loki was stubborn before, he's down right mutinous after the first bite. He smacks his lips as if that might get rid of the gritty texture.
"That is vile."
"Yeah, it's fat-free." Tony agrees, looking down at the white gloop. "But you have to finish it. Your calcium is low. Must not be much milk on Asgard."
"Milk is for infants." Loki says, wrinkling his nose.
"Wow, Asgardians must have terrible bones." Tony deadpans, climbing off Loki's lap. He's getting stiff, and it seems like a bad precedent to be holding Loki down while he resists doing something.
He sits on the edge again, and puts the cup on the tray. Tony would really rather skip the stuff Loki doesn't like, honestly he would. But that would be a mistake.
"Will you eat it if I ask you to?"
"Yes." Loki sniffs, too quickly for Tony's comfort.
"Why?" he asks, because there's a teachable moment somewhere in here, if he can find it. A point he's been trying to make for a really long time. Loki crosses his arms like he's annoyed, but his shoulders slump in an unsure kind of way. Tony grabs Loki's hand and pulls it down, slotting their thumbs together and rubbing at his knuckles.
"Because you want me to?" Loki says. Tony smacks his free hand against Loki's lightly.
"Wrong answer." he chides, holding Loki's hand tighter when he tries to draw away. He leans in and makes sure Loki looks at him when he explains. "You're going to do it because I want you to be healthy. And this is necessary for your health. I won't make you do something unless it's important."
"You are acting very strange tonight." Loki says, and just like when Hela says it, the word strange has so many meanings.
"I'm done taking you at face value." Tony says, and this time it's not an attack, it's a promise. He nudges Loki forward and wedges himself between the cushion and the frost giant, ignoring Loki's confused complaints while he arranges Loki so he's lying between Tony's legs and against his chest. He picks up the yogurt and wraps Loki in his arms.
"Ok, so why are you going to eat this?" Tony asks, realizing that he is seriously teaching remedial kink negotiation with a snack pack in one hand and a plastic spoon in the other.
"Because you want me to be healthy." Loki recites, and ok, maybe this isn't an awkward waste of time.
"Good." Tony says, and kisses him between the horns. "And if it gets to be too much, what's your safe word?"
"You cannot be serious." Loki hisses, rolling his eyes and fidgeting like he's going to bail, but he doesn't actually move.
"Loki." Tony warns, "Crawl before you walk."
"I would prefer the walk." Loki growls, throwing off Tony's arms, and sitting up. Tony has to swallow down a very pointed answer, and tugs Loki back down.
"Believe me I would too. But you're not there yet. So we're eating the fucking yogurt." Tony snaps, "What's your safe word?"
"Mjolnir." Loki spits, but relents to Tony's will. Actually he relaxes all the way into his lap and finds a comfortable spot for his head on Tony's shoulder.
"Ok." Tony exhales, working to hold back the now was that so hard.
Looking down at Loki's purple ears, he laments the death of his sex life. Au revoir les orgasms. Knowing how long it took to teach Thor to use a cell phone, he may well be feeding Loki yogurt cups and Gatorade for the next century.
He brings the spoon to Loki's mouth and lays the edge on his lip, lets him set the pace. He takes it in right away, and leaves the spoon clean. Eager to get it over with probably. Then he hides his face in Tony's neck while he fishes out the next bite.
Loki looks fragile, accepting the food Tony gives him and gagging at the taste, making himself swallow. He's holding himself with his crossed arms and stretching the blanket between his fingers like he does when he is freaking out.
Tony can't believe this is actually that challenging for him. It's not that complicated. You just say I want and fill in the blank. Or the opposite, in this case. And if you realize you can't do it then you say no. It's really simple.
But, he reminds himself, Loki is a dictator's son. He didn't have individual wants before two years ago. He wasn't allowed to. And that's why Tony needs to do this for him, no matter how stupid the exercise, or how many tries it takes.
Loki deserves to have an opinion of his own. He needs to learn how to have one, or else he's never going to understand why Tony's so pissed at him about the apple.
Of course Loki doesn't get it. It's not like anyone asked him if he wanted to eat the apple, or get adopted, or invade Earth. Someone wanted him to do all that and so he did. So why shouldn't Loki do the same to Tony? That was Loki's world, and nobody is going to change it but him.
The spoon scrapes the empty cup and Tony sets it aside. Loki is shaking, so Tony pulls the blanket up and holds him around the shoulders. Kisses him behind the ear, and on the back of his neck.
"I'm proud of you, Loki." Tony says, "That was really good."
And Loki moans. Deep, hot, sex moans. Totally unexpected, totally out of place in the pristine white lab. It's hardly the first time he's said it, hell it's probably the twentieth time tonight, but it's the first time Loki knows he earned it and clearly it affects him.
Yeah, Tony's no master of kink but his instincts are accurate. Some part of Loki wants this, maybe even needs it. Needs someone to open his brain and build him up from the inside. Tony isn't sure he trusts himself to do that, but it's not like he can trust anyone else with Loki.
Not wanting the moment to be over, he picks up the cup of ice chips and runs one over Loki's chapped lips, waits for it to melt and sooth the dryness. His mouth slides open, tongue reaching out to lick at the cool water on Tony's fingers and he pulls it away.
"Keep it closed. I'll tell you went to open." he rumbles into dark hair and Loki listens, finally doesn't protest or complain. He just does it and shivers when Tony whispers. "Good."
He cools Loki's mouth again, lets the ice melt all the way and drip down his face, just to test Loki's patience. He sucks on Loki's ear because it's there and he can't help himself, and then picks up another shard of ice.
"Ok, open up, that's it." he says, and lays the cube on Loki's tongue. He is surprised and pleased when Loki doesn't close his mouth after. He leaves it open, the melting ice sliding on his tongue, and waits for Tony to tell him what's next. God, why is that hot. Loki eating ice has no right to be that sexy.
"Perfect, Loki, close. Suck. That's it." Tony coaches. He feeds Loki chips until the cup is just a pool of water and Loki is a pool of Jotun in his lap. He kisses Loki, gently massaging his cool, wet lips with his tongue and pulling him out of his haze.
Loki sighs happily, cupping Tony's face and thanking him in a tiny voice he almost doesn't hear. Something slots into place at the rippling warmth Loki's voice inspires. Like a backup generator that's been sitting in the basement waiting to be used, connected to the system but not online. He didn't think it was possible for Loki to get any deeper in his shit. Wrong again.
"Lights, Jarvis." Tony says, and the room goes pleasantly black with the exception of the blinking monitors.
Loki sleeps on his side, so Tony rotates them, joins Loki under the blanket and throws his arm over his waist. It's not very comfortable. He's still in the jeans and band shirt from earlier and Loki is in one of those attractive patient smocks that let your butt hang out, but it's doable. It beats sleeping upstairs by himself.
"How do you feel, Loki?" he asks, prepared for another round of negotiating. Loki buries his head in his hands and sighs.
"Light." he says. "Untethered."
"Good." Tony replies. "Next time don't be such a shit."
"Yes, Anthony." Loki says, and dozes under Tony's arm.