Chapter Six

"You're still here," Joey said groggily walking into her living room toward the kitchen. The morning sun wasn't streaming into the apartment which obviously meant that it was closer to the afternoon hour. All who had a nine to five job on a Friday or who weren't recovering from a surgical biopsy were probably out of their pajamas and at their place of employment at the particular moment.

This did not include Joey.

"Sorry, Sis," Bessie replied, placing the coffee pot back on the counter and turning with a steaming mug in hand. "You're stuck with me for three more hours. My flight leaves at four."

Joey's eyes widened, "It's one in the afternoon?"

Her sister nodded, "Yep, looks like it's becoming your normal wake up time." She handed Joey the mug.

Joey restrained from rolling her eyes as she went back to the couch and sat down, "I thought we agreed to a truce last night," she said remembering her sister's apology and her own apology quite clearly. For the last month, everyone around her was on pins and needles, most specifically herself. Getting the news that she probably didn't have cancer, but the probability was quite high that she could have it in the future was a shock to say the least. Joey did the most "un-Joey" thing and called her sister to come for extra support, which Bessie was more than willing to give. The older Potter sister had put the B&B in the more than capable hands of Bodie and flew out to New York a day before Joey's surgical biopsy, which Dr. Gardner had said was the best option to rule out cancer entirely. However, now that it had been a week since the procedure, which had given cancer free results, yet left that inevitable someday waiting in the wings, Joey was beginning to regret having her sister here.

What should she do next? Bessie kept on questioning. What was the next step? Should she have a second and third opinion? Should she have a preventative mastectomy? And so on and so forth. Never ending, it seemed.

"What does Pacey say?" Bessie had asked last night while she washed dishes and tidied up Joey's kitchen after dinner.

Joey looked up from a manuscript she had been trying to read and asked, furrowing her brow "What do you mean? 'What does Pacey say?' "

Bessie rolled her eyes, "Have you two talked about your options?"

Joey nodded, "Of course, Bess, we talked about it. He, unlike you, understands that it is my body and my decision. He understands that I need space and time." Joey had cut herself off before mentioning that Pacey always seemed to be at the restaurant these days and they hardly had time alone since she was given a clean bill of health. But really, who could blame him? Joey thought. He needed to work and it gave him the excuse to be away from this suffocating apartment.

"Time and space?" her sister folded her arms, turning her gaze on Joey "Nice way of saying avoidance."

"It's only been week….I still have gauze wrapped around my chest. Geez, give it a rest, Bess."

"A mastectomy would reduce your chances by ninety percent. You would have a better chance of getting hit by a bus than getting breast cancer."

"I feel like getting hit by a bus right now," Joey snapped.

Right then, Bessie had frozen and lost her fight. She'd apologized and said that she was just worried about her little sister. Joey's irritation receded in return and she'd said that she understood. If the situation was reversed she would probably be as annoyingly persistent.

Now Bessie sighed as she sat down beside Joey, "I didn't mean that….I just don't want to leave here today knowing that you still need to figure things out."

Joey brushed some hair behind her ear and replied, "Dr. Gardner said that there wasn't a rush to decide. I…I just need to have some control back in my life. This sleeping in isn't some sort of depression. It's a side effect from the Vicodin, which I should go cold turkey," Joey rumbled on before sighing, " I'm going back to work next week, and you know, be productive and maybe then get a second opinion."

Bessie nodded, "As you may guess, I don't agree with that plan, but I won't push anymore, Jo. However, may I give you a word of advice?"

"You'll give it to me, no matter what I say, so go ahead," Joey's mouth reluctantly curved into a slight smile.

Bessie smirked before becoming serious again, "Don't shut Pacey out. I may have been the third wheel around here lately, but I think Pacey feels left out in the cold. He may be giving you space but don't let that space get too wide."

Joey dropped her gaze. She didn't need that piece of advice. She already knew it.

…...

Pacey yawned and ran his fingers through his tousled hair as he made his way to the bathroom. His tired eyes widened and he stopped in the doorway. Joey stood by the vanity facing the mirror as she applied her makeup. She wore a, short sleeve, yellow blouse. Her hair was pulled up in a knot, a look of simple elegance that Pacey hadn't seen the last few weeks. His mouth tugged up in an affectionate smile even as his mind wandering back to the look of shock on Joey's face after Dr. Gardner had uttered the words prophylactic mastectomy.

And he remembered the difficult days which followed, one night in particular.

As the rush of city traffic reached their darkened bedroom from twenty floors below, Joey had whispered against his chest, "Why do I have options?"

Pacey had peered down at her shadowy form and asked, "What do you mean?"

"My mom didn't have these options. Jen didn't either. Why me? They wouldn't look at this as some type of burden. They would feel grateful."

Pacey tightened his hold around her back and whispered in her hair, "Sometimes you can't question it and go with what's best for you."

After that, she fell silent and didn't bring the subject again. Pacey had begun to doubt his own wisdom and wished to go back in time to expand on his sentiment. He should have said to her that she should not think of this as a burden and do what her mother and Jen would have done.

And he didn't know how to broach topic again. At that point in time, Joey still had the surgical biopsy to get through before a mastectomy became an actual option and not a necessity. They were between a rock and a hard place.

This was why at first he'd felt relieved having Bessie here as moral support for both of them, but her presence soon became too much. Bessie took over meal duties, cleanup duties, and laundry duties, not to mention pushing Joey near the edge.

The day that Bessie left she voiced her concerns to Pacey. He'd just taken his last sip of coffee and he'd stood from the dining table.

"Did Joey tell you about our argument last night?" Bessie turned after putting his breakfast dish in the sink.

Pacey raised his brow and replied, "Another one?" When he'd come home the night before, Joey was fast asleep. Pacey knew that he'd been spending too much time at work the last few days, but Scully had asked for his extra time in older to turn the less than stellar cuisine into five star delicious masterpieces. Pacey's first order of business was helping to hire a small but expert kitchen staff, which was easier said than done even in a city of millions. However, they were slowly but surely filling up positions. Pacey had also set to work with redoing the menu and testing out new and creative recipes. It had only been a short while, but Scully's restaurant was already attracting more patrons. This meant unfortunately that he wasn't home to referee. "Bess, I already told you to take a step back."

"Pacey, I'm worried about Joey," Bessie sighed.

"So am I," he said almost defensively. "But we both know pushing her does no good. You should know that better than me, Bessie."

"So your advice is to just do nothing" Bessie had replied with a scowl fixed on her face, a scowl that Pacey was quite familiar with seeing on the other Potter sister.

"I'm just waiting for Joey to be ready to talk," he sighed, "I'm just waiting."

…...

Pacey shook himself back to the present. "Going somewhere?" he asked gruffly, still not fully awake.

Joey jumped, dropping her lipstick into the sink. "Pacey!" she reprimanded turning her head toward him with solemn eyes. "I really don't need to be spooked this morning. And you know perfectly well I'm going back to work today."

Pacey dropped his head and replied with a slight smile "Sorry, Jo." He reached out and caressed her arm.

Her body relaxed and her voice lost the edginess, "What are you doing up? You should be dead to the world after working almost all weekend."

Did all weekend sound a bit accusatory? Pacey thought guiltily. "I thought I'd prepare you a quick breakfast before you head back into the wild jungle of the publishing world now that our personal housekeeper and cook has flown the coop."

Joey sighed as she turned back to the mirror and picked up the lipstick. "I know that Bessie meant well, but this apartment isn't meant for three people, especially when one is on Vicodin."

Pacey saw the segue and went for it. "How are you feeling being off the painkillers?" he asked watching her expression in the mirror.

She met his gaze in the glass and she shrugged, "I'm okay."

"How's the pain?" he asked referring to the incision.

Joey put the cap back on the lipstick and then turned giving a lopsided smile,"I'm fine, Pacey. Nothing a little Tylenol can't take care of. And as of today, the gauze will be no more. I'm heading to the doctor's after work."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Pacey asked, maneuvering around her to grab his toothbrush on the other side of the vanity.

Joey shook her head, "It's no big deal….It's not another test or surgery," she paused and then whispered, "At least not today."

Pacey froze in the middle of squeezing toothpaste out of the tube and narrowed his eyes at Joey's bowed head. He said gently, "Look at me, Jo."

Her uncertain eyes met his.

"Are you thinking about….about…"

"I'm thinking about thinking about it," Joey cut him off as she gestured with her hands, "I mean I have to, right? Maybe you could help me when I go talk to another specialist and do some research," she sighed.

Pacey put down the toothbrush and toothpaste and pulled Joey to him. "I'll be right there with you, Jo, all the way," He murmured against her shoulder and closed his eyes, feeling as if he just found a patch of blue sky in the mist of black clouds.

Joey pulled back and looked him in the eye, her somber gaze giving away to amusement. "You really do need to brush your teeth, Pace " she joked before her lips met his.

And so a new day began.

…...

Joey let the aroma of freshly roasted coffee and sweet pastries engulf her senses as she stepped into the Starbucks which was located a block from her office. Coming here had become part of her morning routine when she started at the publishing house. Normally, she'd be in a rush and she'd keep checking the time on her cell as the long line slowly dwindled down to the counter, .She'd then order a plain black coffee. However, Joey didn't feel any urgency today.. Although she still wanted to remain punctual and to make good impressions in order to climb up the corporate ladder, it wasn't a main priority at the moment. Quite honestly, Joey didn't know her main priority.

As she'd told Pacey earlier, she was ready to start thinking about her future options concerning her health even if the concept overwhelmed her, and sent chills up her spine when the word mastectomy entered her mind.

Despite what Bessie probably thought, Joey wasn't living in denial. She did do a quick Google search the other day. And yes, removing most of your breast tissue did reduce your chances greatly, but there was still a slim chance of still getting breast cancer or didn't stop you from getting other cancer. Was it really worth it?

And she couldn't help but think of the pesky shallow side of it all. The self-conscious fifteen year old still lurked beneath the surface, always wondering how others saw her.. How would others see her after reconstructive surgery? How would Pacey see her? How would she see herself? She wasn't a millionaire celebrity who could afford a top notch cosmetic surgeon….

Just then, her cell rang. She was still the seventh person from the counter, enough time to take a quick call. Joey looked at the familiar number. Figures, she thought, sighing. She should have known that thinking of her fifteen year old ghost would mean that he would make an appearance in one form or another.

"Dawson, hey," Joey answered, trying to keep her voice light.

"Hey Joey, I hope I'm not catching you at work or something."

She shook her head as she took a step forward. "I'm just making my morning Starbucks run. What are you doing calling so early isn't it like five-thirty in L.A?"

"I'm actually in Capeside, hoping that the fresh air will stir some ideas for next season."

"Home sweet home, " Joey replied dryly.

Dawson laughed before turning serious, "I….uh….just saw Bessie at the market. How are you feeling, Joey?"

Joey sighed, remembering his first call after he'd heard from his mother who had heard from Bessie about Joey's health predicament. At first, Dawson had been hurt that he seemed to be the last one to know. However, he'd offered to come to New York to be moral support for both Joey and Pacey even if it meant rearranging some meetings, including another meeting with Spielberg about a possible project with a few A list stars. In the end, Joey had said that his offer was enough and she didn't want everyone turning their life upside down for one little surgical biopsy.

"I'm doing better," Joey said honestly as she moved another step closer to placing her order.

"Really?"

"Truly, Dawson….enough about me onto you. What's up?"

"Well," he replied, "that is why I'm calling actually. I need you to be my muse again, Joey. You and Pacey to be more precise."

A surge of embarrassing and just, plain bad teenage memories flashed through her mind. "We are through with making horror slash love stories with you, Dawson, and I'm sure Pacey agrees."

A step closer to caffeine heaven.

Dawson chuckled, "No, no, no, Joey, I'm going to focus on the Petey and Sam relationship in season two and I want it to be as authentic as possible. I want to know about key moments in the Pacey-Joey romance."

Joey narrowed her brows and replied dryly, "You were there, Dawson, for every melodramatic second of it."

"I'm not talking about the eternal triangle, Joey. I want to know how you two fell in love. Will you help me?"

Joey made it to the counter with her cell still pressed to her ear. She knew that there were cons to telling Dawson intimate details of her relationship with Pacey, but maybe it was the comforting smells around her that enveloped her like a warm embrace. Maybe it was the opportunity to relive some of her happiest moments of days gone by. Whatever it was, she said, "Yes, I will."

"What can I get you today?" a barista asked from behind the counter.

"I think I'll try a caffè latte today."

And maybe some decisions were easier to make than others.

…...

It was five- thirty in the early evening when Joey stepped out of the elevator onto the floor of her apartment. All she needed was a hot bath and a cozy bed and Pacey, Joey thought. She was glad that he would be home. Maybe they could order take out and have a relaxing evening. She wanted to just feel his arms wrapped around her and just be alive.

She had left work an hour early for her appointment with Dr. Gardner. The gauze was now gone and the doctor said that she was healing nicely. The doctor also reminded Joey that there was no hurry to make any decisions about the future. For that, Joey was grateful.

Joey didn't want to shrivel up and hide from the future. She just wanted to do everything at her own pace.

She opened the door and walked inside. Her head was bowed as she flipped through the mail in her hand. Junk, junk, junk, bill, junk.

"You know, you're ruining the moment."

"Wh-"she lifted her head and froze.

Pacey stood a few feet away in a black suit and tie. His snowy, white dress shirt brought out the deep blue of his eyes in such a way that made the sea pale in comparison. A single red rose was held up in his hand.

He smiled and said, "You can close your mouth now, Jo."

Joey moved closer to him and gave a half-smile, "You have to forgive me, Pace. I feel like I just entered one of those staged scenes from that God-awful Bachelor show." She turned her head this way and that way as if looking for cameras.

Pacey chuckled and shook his head, "Nah, I've never been that desperate and I'm most definitely not looking for my five seconds of fame."

She rolled her eyes with a smile and that sobered, "What is this, then?"

"Well, remember my first night in the city. You said that you wouldn't mind grand romantic moments."

She nodded, thinking back to her exact words. What if I do like grand romantic moments for us, to reflect back on at a later date? It was such a throwaway statement made in jest. Now it held a bittersweet sentiment. Her heart ached.

"I'm taking you out for a romantic evening to make up for lost time, " Pacey continued looking her straight in the eyes, holding out the rose. "I haven't exactly been an attentive boyfriend lately when you needed me the most."

Joey shook her head as she took the flower, "You had to work. Like I said, Pacey, we both need to keep living our lives. I don't hold that against you." She really didn't want him to feel guilty despite the fact that she'd wished that he was here more lately. However, she'd kept reminding herself that he uplifted his whole life to New York to be with her. That mattered more than anything else.

He dropped his head with a small smile and replied, "Well, you should, but that is a conversation for another time. We have reservations."

"Where are we going?" She asked, taking in the scent of the rose.

Pacey opened his mouth as if to refute, but paused and said, "Wait, you aren't going to fight me on this? "

Joey shook her head as she contemplated his question. No, she wasn't going to fight him about going out. How could she? She wanted grand romantic moments to think back on. She wanted as many as possible.

She only wished that everything in life was as simple as this.

"Why do you sound so disappointed?" Joey asked sardonically, blocking out those pesky thoughts.

"Well," Pacey replied feigning seriousness , "I had this big argument planned analyzing the pros and cons of going out," he gestured with his hands.

She intently looked into his amused gaze and replied, "You did, did ya?"

He nodded staring down at her, "With PowerPoints and everything. You know-"

Joey leaned up and kissed him and then pulled back, "Are you done?"

"Not quite yet," he whispered, his lips meeting hers again.

When they finally pulled apart, Joey felt lighter and looser than she had in days. She asked, "So where is it that we're going? "

"It's a surprise," Pacey held out his palm. "Shall we?"

Joey smiled, laying her hand in his.

While some of their happiest moments were in the past, Joey thought, some of their best moments were out there waiting, if only...