The Following Trailer Is Rated NFM for No F##king Mercy!
From the company that has alienated more of its fanbase than George Lucas, comes a game that pursued a revolutionary new marketing strategy, by telling eager, reasonable consumers everywhere to go f##k themselves.
Battlefield V!
After destroying Mass Effect and Star Wars Battlefront, the dark overlords at EA are ready to wreck yet another classic franchise, and shit all over history at the same time! If only they could channel all that ambition into producing decent video games...
Welcome to the legendary battlefields of WWII… as imagined by millennials whose ideas of historical accuracy come straight from the back of a cereal box, and step into the boots of the archetypal WWII soldier, a red haired woman with Celtic face paint and cybernetic arms… GODDAMNIT EA!
Witness what is arguably EA's most egregious snafu yet, as they attempt to stuff a $60 box of politically biased shit down the throats of loyal fans, tell said fans to piss off when legitimate concerns are raised, and then have the nerve to blame said fans when it predictably goes to shit. Because god forbid that a company should take responsibility for their own shitty products.
But wait! It isn't only political pandering and a complete lack of concern for well paying customers that are on display this holiday season. Because if you're willing to overlook the Naziesque levels of historical revisionism and unethical business practices, then buckle up for a spectacularly mediocre gaming experience that's barely worth the $30 that Walmart and Target are now charging for it.
So lock and load for a game that could have been one of the biggest hits of the year, but settled for being the latest in EA's ever growing list of complete clusterf##ks, delivering a level of Christmas cheer on par with EA's current stock value.
Starring:
LexCorp- EA
T-X Terminator- Cover Character
R.I.P- EA's Stock
Rolling his his grave- My granddad
Battlefield V: 50% Off!
I can't wait to see what shit EA pulls out of their ass next! Maybe the next Battlefield game will be set in the Civil War, and you'll be able to play as a gay transgender black woman in a wheelchair.