A\N: Hey guys! Sorry about the wait. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I really hope you like the poem in this chapter. Please review, thanks
Disclaimer: I tried to get someone to sell Teen Titans to me, but no luck. It's still not mine :(
Lost Without You
Chapter 8 February
I leaned against the small booth I was sitting at. An attractive goth with shaggy red hair stood on the stage. A bright light shone on him as he read a long poem. Like most of the poems that are read here, his was about suffering and death.
For once I wasn't paying attention. Instead I had been trying to engrave every single detail of this cafe permanently in my mind. The dark interior, the candles lit among the walls, the regulars I occasionally talked to, and Cara, the cafe owner. I was going to miss it all a lot. When the sun set I was going to grab my things, visit Beast Boy's grave one last time, then return to Azarath. I was going to have the monks who raised me wipe my memory so I could start a new life. I was ready to move on.
The people around me began to clap as the redhead finished his poem. I followed suit, even though I didn't hear a single word. My eyes focused on the piece of paper that was lying next to my empty lunch plate. My stomach churned nervously.
For the first time ever I was going to read a poem out loud. It was totally not like me, but I felt like it was the best way to bring Peace back to life and stabilize my emotions at last. Also in the poem, I would be saying goodbye to this cafe, my former teammates, the now empty tower, and most importantly: to Beast Boy.
Cara stepped on the stage. She was a 34 year old woman wearing a long black and red dress. Her long blonde braid rested down her back. Nobody would've guessed that she owned the place, since her clothes were always just as dark as the customers. She sure knew how to run a business though, for this place was always crowded. She tapped on the microphone to get the audience to fall silent.
"We have time for one last reading for this lunch session," she said in a deep voice. "Any volunteers?"
A small silence passed through the crowded tables. It was now or never. I swallowed my fear and stood up. Cara looked at me, surprised-probably because I had been coming here for years and had never participated. I could also tell that she was pleased.
"Raven! How nice of you to volunteer. Please, share your reading with us."
Shakily I walked to the small stage, ignoring the whispers that broke out. Because of my hero status with the Teen Titans, everyone knew who I was. I was sure they were talking about the Teen Titans disbanding. I forced myself to focus. I was on a personal mission and nothing was going to stop me.
In a matter of seconds I was on the stage. I was amazed that the view in front of me. I had no idea the cafe looked bigger from this perspective. I lowered my hood so that the audience would see my face for the first and only time. Then after adjusting the microphone to my level I began to read the poem that was clutched in my hands. My voice wavered.
Farewell
The world is dark
And completely silent
Your final act haunts me
Because it was so violent
My weak heart has been bleeding
Ever since you left me
I was too late to save you
I was too blind to see
I want to forgive those
Who led you to this fate
I cannot forgive myself
For coming too late
My soul cries for revenge
For those who hurt you
My heart longs for forgiveness
I know what I must do
I have decided to let everything go
So that my soul could be set free
Farewell, my love
Please forgive me
Loud applause erupted once I finished my poem. I smiled gratefully as I wiped the tears away. I was determined to make sure that this would be the last time I cried. Inside I could feel my emotions calm down considerably as Peace came over me and Anguish began to lessen. The poem worked.
Cara joined me on the stage. She was positively beaming. "That was a very moving piece, Raven," she said. "Thank you for sharing it with us." Then she spoke into the microphone. "That concludes our lunch session. Come back this evening for more."
Cara turned to me. By the look on her face I could tell she somehow knew I was leaving Jump City."It has been a pleasure seeing you, Raven.."
I smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Cara. For everything. I'll miss you." I exited the stage. I smiled. My emotions were settling down at last. It wouldn't be so hard to let go after all.
After placing the folded poem back into my pocket, I exited the dark cafe. I winced as the bright sunlight blinded me for a split second. Then I headed towards the tea shop. I wanted to get some of my favorite teas to take back to Azarath.
"Hey Raven!"
I turned to see a small girl around my age, dressed in black. Her black, blue streaked hair blew as she ran to catch up with me. I recognized her immediately as one of my friends from the cafe, another regular. I smiled. "Hey Selene."
Once she reached me I noticed that she had tears stained on her cheeks. In her hand she was clutching a photograph. "I just wanted to say thank you for showing your poem. It really spoke to me." Her eyes lowered. "And also, I'm really sorry about everything that's happened."
"Thanks."
I couldn't take my eyes off the photograph that she had in her hand. I couldn't help but wonder if that was the reason she was crying, instead of the poem I read. Selene noticed. She brought it closer and showed it to me. In the picture was Selene next to a girl with short brown hair. They looked younger in the picture and only a couple years apart.
"This was my older sister, Amie. We were very close." she wiped a tear off her cheek. "She died of cancer three years ago. I've been having such a hard time getting over her death. I didn't have the strength to let go of her memory. Until now." A smile spread across her face. "Your poem has inspired me to try harder to go on with my life. Thank you."
I smiled back. Even though I wasn't fighting crime anymore, I was still helping people. It was a great feeling. I could tell Selene still needed someone to talk to by the way she continued to grip hard on the photograph. At the same time, I could use the company on my last day in Jump City.
"I'm headed to the tea shop. Would you like to join me? We could talk some more."
"Okay."
Together Selene and I made our way to Sybil's Tea Shop. I was determined to help one last person before I left this place.
BBRae
"So with three of the Titans gone, Cyborg and I decided to disband. He went to fight crime with the Titans East and I plan to return to Azarath tonight," I concluded. Selene now knew about everything that that happened to the Teen Titans. I left out certain details, like the reasons behind Beast Boy's suicide and the troubles with my emotions. Selene was a good friend, but not close enough to reveal further details.
Her blue-gray eyes held much sympathy. "You've been through a lot. I'm so sorry, Raven."
I smiled weakly, my back resting against the bench outside the tea shop. Two full bags of numerous boxes of tea sat by my feet. Selene bought around the same amount. I had no idea that we both liked a lot of the same kinds. After our shopping trip, we had spent the next few hours just relaxing. Talking to her had lifted a heavy burden off my chest. I finally felt a little relieved. Now it was my turn to help her.
"So tell me about your sister. What was she like?"
Selene smiled, the light briefly in her eyes. "Amie was the best person I had ever known. She was only two years older, so we grew up together-did everything together. I never had a friend quite like her. She protected me."
She swallowed hard. 'Then three years ago she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia. She didn't have a chance. She died seven months later." Tears fell down her cheeks. I could feel her anguish. "It broke my heart to watch her lose so much weight and suffer from so much pain. Especially since there was nothing I could do to cure her. The worst part of all was watching her take her last breath."
I nodded in understanding. "I understand completely. Beast Boy died in my arms. It was devastating. But I've come to realize that he is gone and he would want for me to move on with my life. That's why I'm returning to Azarath to start over. I'm sure your sister wants you to move on also-to be happy."
"You're right, Raven," she said softly. "I just don't know if I have to strength to let her go. I miss her more and more each day."
For the first time ever, I reached over and squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. Knowledge's advice rang in my head. "I know it's hard, but in time you will learn to let go. To make it not hurt so much, you should do other things that will keep your mind occupied, such as spend time with your family and friends. It will help give you the strength to move on with your life and become happy again. Trust me."
A small silence passed between us. Selene twirled a lock of her black, blue hair. By the expression on her face, I could tell that she was starting to feel better. "You know, you don't have to return to Azarath. You could stay here and live a normal life like me. We could hang out more, and heal together. What do you say?"
I thought long and hard about her offer. I admit, it had given me a wonderful feeling to tell Selene everything. I could feel my darker emotions start to get weaker. Plus I could tell that having a kindred spirit around would be beneficial for her healing faster. However, I wasn't sure if it was a good idea at the moment, since my emotions were still not 100% yet. I decided to keep the city safe and return to Azarath. I noticed it was dark. I didn't realize we had been talking for so long. I needed to get going.
I gave Selene a sad smile. "I'd love to stay, but I can't. I promised myself that I was going to move past this, and I figured the best way was to have a fresh start back home. Plus, I miss my mother. I haven't seen her in quite a while."
"I understand. Goodbye, Raven. Thank you for helping me."
I stood up from the bench and pulled my hood up. "It was my pleasure. Take care, Selene."
I grabbed my bags and turned into a Raven. In a manner of seconds I entered the deserted tower. All the lights were off and it was dead silent. The tower was so dark I could barely see where I was going. The whole atmosphere was getting too creepy-even for me. I felt like I was in a horror movie. The sooner I left for Azarath, the better.
I looked sadly at the deserted kitchen. The counters were bare, except a couple of empty tea cups by the sink. All of Starfire's cooking equipment were gone. I was truly alone. I forced the tears back. I couldn't take this sad sight anymore. I headed to my room to grab my things.
SLICE!
I screamed in agony as I felt something incredibly sharp slice me on the arm. I stumbled to the ground, dropping my shopping bags. Blood ran from my cut and onto the floor. Next to me on the floor was a red and black disc with sharp edges poking out on the outside. The letter R was in the middle. It looked like it belong to...
After regaining my balance I took in my surroundings once more, my hand clutching bleeding arm. Then I saw the silhouette of my attacker standing behind the long couch. He was a tall figure with messy hair. I could see parts of his face thanks to the moonlight. The mask that covered his eyes was glaring at me with pure hated. I gasped, my heart beginning to race.
It was Robin.