10.
"It's a wonderful day to be alive," Jasper said, smugly.
Edward rolled his eyes, not that his friend could see him through the phone. "Right, I guess your weekend went well."
"That's one way of putting it," he laughed. "Alice is unbelievable. The things we did, man…"
"Yeah, I don't need to know," Edward interrupted. "Just don't leave things messy, that's all. She's Bella's friend."
"Define messy."
"Jasper," Edward groaned.
His friend laughed. "I'm messing with you. It was great, and Alice is great. How was your weekend? Did you and Bella get to know each other better?" His tone dripped with innuendo.
"I spent the weekend with my grandma Cathy," Edward said flatly.
"Ouch! What was it this time? A parade of young women she wants you to marry, or was she in a religious state of mind?"
"Both," Edward laughed. "It was so fucking ridiculous, man. She dragged me to church, and spent the entire sermon pointing out 'suitable girls'. To listen to her talk, you'd think she was straight out of the 1800s or some shit."
"Why'd you even go?" Jasper asked. "She's not even your grandma, right? She's your mom's aunt or something."
"Ah, she's old," Edward sighed. "And years ago, she took care of mom when her folks died, so mom always insists I keep an eye on her now that she's all alone."
"So you were being good and I was being utterly fucking bad, so I guess there's balance in the universe," Jasper laughed.
"Stop rubbing it in, moron," Edward grumbled. "Besides, Bella and I were texting all weekend. I'm taking her out on a date tonight."
"It's Monday," Jasper said helpfully.
"And I'm not waiting a damn day longer to spend some time with her," Edward shrugged.
…
The thing about anticipation was that it made a girl hungry.
Bella quickly stuffed the mini cupcake into her mouth. One tiny cupcake wouldn't make a difference. Edward wouldn't know or care if she offered him one less.
Moaning a little at the burst of flavor on her tongue, she nestled into her comfortable couch. For a moment, her mind was blank to any thoughts that didn't concern the awesomeness of Marianne's cupcakes. They were so pretty with all the different colored frosting, and so light and delicious, not too sweet, the balance of flavors just right. Bella moaned again as she swallowed and licked her lips. She spent another long moment in nostalgic appreciation of the tiny piece of perfection she'd just held in her mouth.
Having made her ritual sacrifice of a few extra calories at the altar of the cupcake gods, her mind meandered to memories of the past weekend. Her lips twitched into a small smile as scenes from Friday night flashed through her mind. Time spent with her friends was guaranteed to be a whole lot of fun, but to have run into Edward there as well… she sighed happily. It had just made the evening a whole other level of perfect. Especially when she'd run into him a second time and he'd confessed to wanting to seek her out and talk to her again… and when it'd become clear that he really wasn't into guys. In fact, he'd all but confessed that he was into her!
Bella grinned and squirmed around in glee. Even now, three days later, that little fact made her want to dance.
So she did, wriggling her butt and tossing her hair around in time to the song pulsing around in her head. If it sounded suspiciously like Who let the dogs out, well, there wasn't anyone around to judge anyway.
She was interrupted mid-twirl by a sharp ring on her buzzer. Grabbing a conveniently placed chair back, she managed to stay upright, taking a moment to catch her breath and try to calm her racing heart. When that didn't really work, she shrugged and dashed over to release the catch of the outside door.
Then she continued with her shimmy, because she was happy. In the time she estimated it would take him to reach her door, she snapped her fingers, did the moonwalk, and then sternly brought her bubbling glee mostly under control, remnants visible in the sparkle of her eyes and the slightly heightened color of her cheeks.
"Be cool," she reminded herself. Composed, calm and so ready for the date, she swung the door open… to an empty hallway. He clearly hadn't reached her landing, let along rung her bell. "So much for playing it cool," she chastised herself. "That was the opposite of cool. Infact, #facepalm, Bella!"
Shaking her head, she stepped back, but then paused. What was that sound? Peering cautiously around the doorjamb, she looked out to the left, and then to the right. Still nobody, but she could hear muted mumbling, shuffling and other unexplained noises from the stairwell.
Could it be?
Tiptoeing closer, she grinned to herself. Getting her stealth on twice in one day was definitely an unexpected treat.
She left her door slightly ajar, not wanting the slightest click to alert her unsuspecting quarry. She held her breath and peered around the edge of the wall. The coast was clear. She gently stepped down the stairs—picture a gazelle stepping on eggshells—approaching the bend with great caution.
She briefly regretted not having grabbed her handbag on her way out. She really would have loved to use the compact mirror trick around the curve of the stairs. Sighing regretfully (and silently) at the missed opportunity, she chanced a glance down the stairwell… and gave up on all her attempts at stealth. No more gazelle, she was more like the head of a herd of rampaging rhinos. Or maybe enraged elephants. No, she decided, that wasn't nearly sexy enough. She'd rather be a pissed off lioness. The scourge of the Serengeti. With that matter settled, she marched around the bend, looking down imperiously at the scene in front of her.
"What the hell is going on?" she demanded.
…
Edward was having a great day. No really, it had been fantastic. Monday had tried it's best to be a pain, and failed. He'd been puked on, scratched, kicked in the gut, bitten and peed on, but had he been frazzled? Not at all. In fact, nothing could wipe the smile from his face.
He whistled as he dashed home to shower and change. He sang along to the songs on the radio as he drove to her apartment. He hummed happily as he chose a colorful bunch of flowers at the little florist's down the block from her place. He pressed the buzzer to her building, and skipped inside when the catch was released.
An old lady stood near the elevators, eyeing him up and down. Judging him, it felt like. He slowed his steps and approached at a more sedate pace.
"Good evening," he greeted, smiling politely.
"We'll see about that. Damn lift is taking too long," she complained in the querulous voice of the very old. "You, boy, help me up the stairs," she commanded, turning to the stairwell and beckoning him with a wave.
Nonplussed, Edward looked from the lift to the stairs a couple of times, before shrugging. He offered her his elbow, and she gripped it with bony fingers laden with rings. Her step was firm, her grip rather stronger than he'd expected from someone her age—she had to be at least eighty. Bella lived on the second floor, he recalled, smiling as they approached the first floor landing.
He wondered if she was as excited about this date as he was. His attraction to Bella had been almost instantaneous; he'd been unexpectedly drawn to the gorgeous aesthetician despite being in a situation that basically made his balls want to crawl up and hide. Which they actually did—fucking hair removal—until her proximity, the indefinable soft fragrance of her skin, and the firm pressure of her hands all over his dick brought him to the brink of exploding. Thankfully, she'd saved him from embarrassing himself in front of her. But he had still been mortified, especially because he was sure she knew it barely took him five seconds to come all over the tissues she had so helpfully supplied him with.
He shifted a little uncomfortably as his dick woke up at the memory.
He looked up the stairs longingly, wishing the old lady would shuffle along a little faster. In his abstraction, he didn't notice the way his companion peeked up and down the stairs. Then, moving quicker than he could have anticipated, she shoved him up against the wall.
"Wha…" He barely had his mouth open to protest, before she was plastered up against his chest.
"Hush, boy," she commanded. "You're not as muscular as the last guy they sent, but you're definitely prettier. You'll do. Now bend a little so I can see if you know how to kiss."
Edward gulped and stretched away from where she was bracing her hands on his shoulders, trying to jump up to reach his face. Holding out the hand that held Bella's flowers, he used the other to try to push her away, but she had a death grip on his shirt. He was sure he heard a tiny rip when he tried to pry her fingers off.
"Look, ma'am, I don't know what you're thinking," he panted, "But could you just step back, please."
"So polite," she cooed, dragging one stubby nail down along his jaw. "I'm going to have so much fun with you."
"Look, you're… I'm not…"
The woman ignored him, jumping up and down again, trying to reach his lips. She reminded him of those annoying yipping-yapping little dogs at his practice. But it was easy to deal with animals. This woman was a whole other zoo. At his wit's end, he started trying to beat her off with the flowers he still clutched in his hand.
"What the hell is going on?"
He turned his head, and his heart raced. Bella stood at the head of the stairs, arms firmly planted on her hips, eyes narrowed.
This was not going to be pretty.
A/N: So, have you heard about the Babies at the Border compilation? Over a hundred authors are contributing stories, and all you need to do to get at it is contribute ten dollars to any of a list of charities... you can get all the details over at their facebook page. Just search for 'Babies at the Border fiction compilation' when you sign in to facebook, and you can find all the info. It's a very important cause, and this is a small way we can contribute.