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Chapter Text

Neither of them was fit to drive so they made their way to the back room where Walter kept a bed for drunks to sleep it off if need be. There were more drugs, this time Julie let him rub it on her gums, some more alcohol was consumed, and he woke her up in the middle of the night for two more rounds.

The next morning Julie was horrified to wake up naked in the bed in the back room of the bar. She knew exactly where she was and exactly who was responsible, even if the details were a little fuzzy. She was in Walter's crash pad and thank God she had changed the sheets recently.

She sat straight up and pulled the sheet over her body as she screamed, "Maaaaaaacccccc." Then he was in the doorway, a beer in his hand with no shirt on and his pants hanging low on his hips with the look of the cat who ate the canary on his face.

"Hey, you don't have to cover up, I've seen ..."

"Don't hey me, what the fuck happened?"

"You don't remember begging me to fuck you." Mac replied as he took a swig of the beer, "We had a good time last night."

"You fuckin drugged me," She screamed, "You haven't changed at all son of a bitch!"

Mac didn't answer right away, he considered how to phrase his next sentence.

"See that's the thing about X tho Jules," He grinned, "You don't do anything you ain't wanting to do anyway."

She stood up and he whistled at her, she shot him a dirty look and searched for her clothes.

"This," She waved her hand, "Doesn't change a thing."

"Can't really see you marrying that asshole now." Mac observed, "Three times last night, three times in one night, Juliet. I bet he hasn't fucked you three times in five years! "

"I'm marrying him, nothing changed." She put her hands on her hips. "And don't call him that."

"Why not, that's what he is." He answered, taking another swig of his beer, it was eight am and he was drinking already, if she wasn't so pissed at him Julie would have been concerned, "And you make my head hurt."

Julie just huffed and continued looking for her clothes until she found them and her boots.

"You're a real jerk off Mac, I'm leaving!"

"No, you ain't."

"Watch me," She pulled her shirt over her head and hiked her skirt up, "Where's my underwear?"

She looked over at him and he shrugged in a way that told her he knew exactly where it was, like his back pocket.

"What are you going to hang it from your rearview mirror?" Julie snapped as she pulled her boots on.

Mac laughed at that idea, "It's ripped up anyway. Why you so dead set on marrying that jerk, he ain't you." He tossed her a bottle of water and she opened it and drank some. He had made sure she drank enough water the whole night.

"How do you know! You haven't seen me for years." Julie hissed back at him.

"I know you." He pointed to his chest. "I know you, not him!"

"You don't know me." Julie replied, "You've been gone too long."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that." He said locking his eyes onto her, his gaze burned and she looked away, "No one knows you like I do."

Julie sighed, and blew a loose strand of her hair out of her face, he was getting to her. Absentmindedly she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear; Mac watched her intently, that had been one of the cutest of her gestures and he wondered if he ever told her how sweet he thought it was.

"You're an ass." She snapped.

"Same to you."

She took another gulp of water and he came closer to her.

"What are you doing," She said as he reached for her and pulled her close to him, trapping her with his hand at her back and burying his face in her neck, "Stop it."

"He doesn't know how to take care of you, he doesn't know you." He said, working his way up to her ear slowly with his tongue, leaving a nice wet trail that he blew hot air on. She shivered as he dipped his tongue into her ear, "He know you're a country girl, learned to drive a stick in that pickup truck out there?"

"No." She replied calmly, trying to convince him or herself, it was all so unclear now to her suddenly. Her mind was awash with memories, the drugs and the feeling of him, of his strong arms around her once more. She realized that she missed that feeling and wanted it back desperately, then she forced the thought away again.

"That's not me. Not for a long time." She said flatly.

"It's who you are, it don't go away." He answered quickly.

"I made it go away, Mac."

"He know what we used to do in that truck, huh, in this place?" He murmured. "He know about all the plans we made?"

Julie was silent, he wasn't going to stop calling her out on this bull shit and she supposed that was one of the things she loved about him most.

"You love him?" He asked quietly and she didn't answer, which enraged him. He was fighting for his life here and she wouldn't speak. "You tell me that you love him, tell me!"

She was silent. If love was security and predictability, then yes, she loved Jack. But she knew it wasn't, somewhere back in her memories, she knew what love was, she had it once. Real love? Well, that was the all-consuming can't live without you passion that she and Mac had, that was love to her. She didn't have that with Jack and she never would.

There was no way that she could tell Mac that she loved someone else. She was still in love with him.

"Say it! Say that you love him and I'll leave you alone for good." Mac bellowed.

She shook her head as tears welled in her eyes, Mac ran his hand through his hair in exasperation. At least they were talking now, it had been a long time coming and no matter what happened, they both needed to get it out.

"Jesus Julie." He looked over at her. "I didn't get busted on purpose, I never wanted to leave you, I loved you, still do."

His voice almost cracked as the memories came flooding back to him now, so many mistakes, so much time had gone by. So many things that they should have said long ago to each other.

Could she forgive him? Could he forgive her?

For the first time he had verbalized it, really said how he felt out loud to her and it felt good not to hold in anymore. He felt free, like a weight came off of his shoulders, they should have talked this way long ago. It wasn't his fault and it wasn't hers; it just happened. She had dipped out, he was right about that, and he had wanted to fight for them. She knew that finally, and he was still fighting for them now.

"You're it." He said not taking his eyes from her, he thought carefully about his next words. "I'll never love anyone else, Julie."

She brought her hand up to her mouth and her eyes grew soft. "Oh my god..." And the tears started, Mac hated when she cried, he always had. Julie was a strong woman and he knew she didn't cry easily.

He wanted to hold her in his arms and make the tears and the years apart go away. He wanted to make everything all better for them.

"It's over now, it has to be," She said quietly as she pulled away from him, "I can't go through this with you again, I'm so scared of what could happen next. Clean up your act and you can see your son, otherwise don't bother me again." She stomped out of the room with the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"I'm gonna call Jack," Mac yelled, "He and I are gonna have a talk and I'm gonna tell him all about last night, three times Jules." He held up three fingers as she left, "Three fuckin times."

Ch 20

Jack was furious when he got the text message from Mac and he and Julie had a horrible fight on the phone which ended with him insisting on her mailing her engagement ring back to him. It was over, and part of her was relieved. It wasn't the end of the world, she knew that and it took some pressure off of her that she had been feeling about moving. Now she could stay, but fucking Mac!

Against her better judgment, she flew out the door after her phone call with Jack and headed to the shack he lived in to give him a piece of her mind. He had planned this she just knew it! Julie didn't even get dressed properly, she had been at home reading when Jack called her and after they had argued on the phone she took off in sweatpants and a t-shirt. She didn't even wear shoes, she was so pissed off.

Mac answered the door with the ever present cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

"You fucking asshole," She screamed at him before he even fully opened the door and in one swoop he pulled her inside and had her against the wall, "You fucking horrible motherfucker."

"I told you; you are not marrying him!" Mac said matter of factly, as if it had always been decided that way. He was eerily calm and Julie was swatting at his face trying to hit him. He dodged her as if she was a little gnat flying around her face.

"You fixed that didn't you, he didn't even listen to me," She raged, "Why did you break up my relationship? Why do you insist on fucking up my life at every turn."

She pushed back at him, but he was so strong, there was no way to get out of his grip.

"You son of a bitch stop just stop!"

"Blow me," Was all he would say.

"Just tell me why you did it, why are you hell bent on fucking up my life?"

"Because you fucked up mine." He screamed in her face, " From the minute I touched you there was no one else I wanted. I followed you to Salt Lake City for Chrissake when you left. I can't get you out of my head. And I've fucking tried, there's not enough crank in the world to do it or enough women. You. Ruined. My. Life!"

He met her eyes and stayed there, Julie sucked in a breath, the air was suddenly thick and it was hard to breathe. Her chest was tight, as if an elephant was sitting on it, and her heart liked to beat right out of her chest, why him, why was it him? She'd asked herself this very question over and over again.

Mac continued, "You fucked my head up from the jump and now all I can think about of having more babies with you, because," He pushed her by the shoulders into the wall, and knocked the wind out of her, "Of all the women I have ever been with, you are the one I can't get out of my mind, I don't fuckin like it but its what it is. And you can't get me off yours either so just admit it."

"You drugged me! You raped me!" She uttered weakly.

"Really?" He pressed his entire body against her from chest to thighs and she groaned at the feel of his hard form against her, "I seduced you, I'll cop to that; but there's a difference, believe me, I know."

"I bet you do...those are big words there Mac," Was all she could say, and then his lips were on hers and he was invading her mouth with his tongue and Julie couldn't help but respond to him, she kissed him back. The things he did to her were irresistible and she almost forgot she was spitting mad at him. He snickered at that and started pulling at her t-shirt and she didn't stop him, then his hands were on her breasts.

"You high now?" He brought his mouth to just below her ear, as his hand came over her bare breast, she hadn't even put on a bra before she came over to bitch him out. Julie trembled as she felt his fingers on her skin and her knees buckled, "That's what I thought...You like that doncha?" He hissed and swiped his tongue over the shell of her ear.

"Yes," She whispered, "Yes..." Who the fuck was she kidding, maybe her mind thought better of it but her body wanted him. All he had to do is look at her sometimes, which was why she had to stay far away from him. He was her drug.

"Say it, baby, who fucks you right?" He pushed against her and continued stroking her nipples and biting her neck enjoying the way she was moaning and pushing back against his dick that was still trapped in his jeans.

"You do," She breathed out, "You fuck me right, you got what I need."

"Damn fucking right I do," He growled and wiped his hand over his already sweat covered face, "Oh Jules you're gonna get it." He turned her around so she was facing the wall in one quick move.

Her arms were pinned behind her and between their bodies rough as Mac nipped down her neck and sucked hard at the spot she liked, loving the reaction he got, Julie's legs buckled and he had to hoist her back up.

"Easy girl, I got ya," He smiled against her skin and sucked harder again, "'I'm gonna slide these sweatpants off ya now and fuck you so good," He slid his hands down to her hips and rolled his pelvis against her, letting her know what he had to offer, "Get ready, here it comes."

He had been insanely jealous over Jack, so much that he couldn't see straight. The thought of that motherfucker doing this with her or anything made him crazy from the minute he heard about it. He had been like a snarling dog wanting to kill him just for looking at her. That man had to go, one way or the other and Mac didn't care which way; now he was history, mission accomplished, all was right with the world again.

He just had to keep her with him alone long enough to get her addicted to him again. Julie had been addicted to his cock before and she would be again.

Mac had plans for her which included forcing her to call him Daddy, an epic spanking that was going to leave his hand sore, and sex so hot that it was going to make them spontaneously combust.

"Do it, baby, fuck me good..." She egged him on, the more she talked the better it was just like he knew how to push her buttons, she knew how to push his, "Please Mac, I need that cock! I need it so bad!"

"This is some sexy outfit," He groaned, pushing against her, he loved the way she babbled all the dirty shit when they were together like this.

Mac reached down and pulled her sweatpants down and yanked her panties off, tossing them over his shoulder then plunged two fingers into her already wet pussy.

"Fuckin soaked for me already... that's my dirty girl." Mac moaned as he unbuckled his pants and shucked them down.

"Only for you, only for you," She cried as he turned her around and pushed them both down onto the floor.

"Wrap your legs around me, baby!" He instructed and she obeyed, "That's a good girl, oh fuck! That's my good girl."

He plunged inside her to the hilt with a grunt that echoed off the house and started fucking her nice and hard. Outside his dog started barking and it was comical to him.

"Oh fuck yes Mac!" She moaned as he pushed in and out of her with a claiming his woman vengeance that she could not deny that she loved, "Oh God! Fuck me, give it to me."

"I'm gonna," He growled, "I'm gonna, baby, I'm gonna give it to you so good."

Mac adjusted her in his arms and reached down between them to stroke her clit. His touch was soft, just right and just what she needed.

"Oh yes baby, make me cum, I need it!" She cried out, "Oh please," He liked when she begged, "Please Mac! Please!"

"Who's the boss of you?" He moaned and he was so turned on by how wet she was and how responsive she was to him, every time., "Answer my question and I'll let you cum all over me."

"You are," She breathed out, already about to explode from his words and actions, "You are!" He was the boss of her, no one made her feel the way that he did, he was her one and only.

"I'm what?" Mac breathed out, "What? Say it!"

"You're the boss of me."

"Who's pussy is this?"

"Yours, only yours," She groaned, feeling her body start to tremble, "Oh god Mac, yes!"

Mac picked up the pace, feeling her walls start to twitch, and he circled her clit with his finger, driving her to the edge of oblivion fast.

He looked down between them and in the soft light of sunset coming through the windows he watched himself going in and out of her and it was a glorious sight.

"Oh fuck baby that's good," He ran a hand through his hair and kissed her hard, "You're mine, MINE! Don't you ever fuckin forget it! You. Are. My. Whore!"

Smack! His hand came down on her bare ass, once, twice, three times and she came hard and loud. He was mesmerized by the pink outline of his hand on her skin, dizzy from it!

"You're going to be the death of me, Julie!" He yelled.

Julie screamed and let it wash right over her as she shuddered in his arms.

Mac felt her body pulling it out of him and he screamed in sweet release as he unloaded every drop inside of her. It seemed to take forever and he was blinded by white hot light behind his eyes, it was so good. Gasping for breath, neither of them moved, it was silent now, birds flew overhead possibly startled by their screams of passion and the dog was going nuts in the yard still.

Mac pressed his forehead to hers and they both smiled, sweat dripped down both of their faces.

"Mine," He muttered.

/

"We are not together," Julie said getting up off the floor and collecting her clothes, "You got that?"

"Whatever you gotta to tell yourself..." He said as he pulled his pants up, and lit a cigarette "But same as before, you fuck anyone else and I'll kill you. That coward you were with, yeah, he wouldn't even come here and fight it out like a man. What a fuckin douche," Then he held the cigarette out to her and shook his hair out of his eyes, "Drag?"

Julie yanked the cigarette out of his hand and took a drag as they both leaned against the wall.

"We are never getting back together..."

"I don't give a fuck, have it your way then; you still gonna fuck me sometimes?" He asked as they handed the cigarette back and forth, "Even though we aren't together." He air quoted that last two words and smirked at her, letting her know he thought this was all ridiculous.

They'd be back in bed together within a few days, chemistry, like they had, would not be stopped.

"Are you gonna act right?"

"Are you?" He countered.

He shrugged and so did she, and they just stood there smoking and not even talking. He had won and they both knew it. Mac always got what he wanted, no matter what he had to do.

"I don't want to love you..." She said in the darkness and Mac turned his head to her.

"Wasn't in my plans either, but it's what it is..."