I'm Only In It For The Love Chapter 17, a nashville fanfic

A/N: I'm sorry it's taken so long to post a new chapter. And no, I haven't forgotten this story! Work has just been all-consuming and hasn't left a lot of time for writing. But please know I'm committed to finishing this, even if it does take a little longer than I'd like. Thanks so much for the reviews!

Even to her untrained ear, she could hear the pain in his music. She thought about what he'd said about singing her truth, but she'd never lived the kind of life that would create that kind of music. Of course, when her mother died, it was shocking and heart wrenching and, even now, she felt the loss. Everything she'd experienced since she was twelve had made her stop and wonder how her mother might have helped her through it. Especially now, as she was trying to stand up for herself and live the life she believed she was meant to live.

He stopped and looked at her and she could see something there she hadn't seen before. "Wow," she said. "That's, um…."

He nodded. "Kinda dark. I know." He breathed in. "Rayna, I told you before. I had kind of a bad life before I came here. Not a lot was good. You should know that about me."

"You didn't have anything good in your life?" She just couldn't imagine it.

He gave her a quick smile. "It wasn't all bad. There's always some light in the darkness. But it was a hard life. It was why I needed to leave, come here, try to make my way."

She nodded. "So what's your dream, Deacon?" she asked. "What did you want when you came to Nashville?"

"Well, me and Bev, we were gonna be a duo, but then she decided to go home. So now, I guess I wanna be a solo artist, travel all over the country. Write songs and sing 'em on stage in big arenas." He looked off in the distance. "One day I wanna be the headliner." He looked back at her. "So, kinda the same thing as you."

She smiled. "Yeah, I guess so. Except maybe I'm not writing as many songs." She made a face. "Since I have so much trouble with it."

He shook his head. "Just keep working at it." He shrugged. "Or you could write with someone." He ran his fingers over the guitar strings. "I could help you with the song you wanna finish, if you want?"

"Really?"

He nodded. "Only if you want." He started to pick out a melody on his guitar. "You wanna practice?" She nodded and smiled.

They walked slowly towards the parking lot. She really didn't want the afternoon to end. She loved watching his fingers on the guitar, listening to his voice, looking into his eyes. As they approached the lot, he jerked his head towards his truck. "Wanna sit in my truck before you go? Talk some?"

She wondered if he really wanted to talk. She nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I'd like to do that." He smiled back at her and reached for her hand.

####

His heart was beating wildly as they walked to his truck. He really wanted to kiss her. He didn't think she'd mind though. When they reached the truck, he opened the passenger door for her and then, after she'd climbed in, closed the door behind her. He hustled around to the driver's side and put his guitar in the truck bed, then climbed into the truck. When he looked over at her, she seemed tense, he thought, sitting very straight, her hands in her lap, biting down on her lip.

"You change your mind?" he asked, feeling hesitant.

She shook her head. "No. Why?"

"Um, you just look, I don't know, maybe a little scared."

She smiled then and visibly seemed to relax. "No, I'm not scared," she said. She looked down then back at him, her cheeks a little pink. "I just thought maybe you wanted to kiss me, or something."

He grinned. Damn, this girl is something else. He slid a little closer to her. "Actually, I do," he said. "Want to kiss you, I mean." She just smiled, so he reached out and put his hand on her waist, pulling her closer. Then he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, wrapping his arms around her waist. She lifted her arms and put them around his neck and sighed, opening her mouth to his.

He slid in his tongue, letting it find hers, gliding against it, feeling the roughness. She let her fingers thread the hair at the back of his neck and he kissed her hungrily, feeling like the world around them had ceased to exist. She had the sweetest mouth, warm and comforting, and he sank deeper into the kiss. He moved his hands to the side of her waist and rubbed them up and down as the kiss grew more insistent. He slid one hand up and let his thumb trace the swell of her breast until it rested right where her nipple was.

Suddenly she pulled away with a gasp, her hands moving to her chest, and he could see she was breathing hard. Her eyes were wide with confusion and he was afraid he'd scared her after all. "What's wrong, baby?" he asked.

At first she breathed in and out, her eyes still wide with surprise. "You…touched me," she finally said, her voice a whisper.

He sucked his breath in. He didn't want to scare her off. He'd forgotten she was sixteen, that she had told him she'd never had a boyfriend. He'd been lost in the kiss and he'd forgotten it all. "I'm…I'm sorry, Rayna," he said. "I…I didn't mean to do nothing like that, I promise. I won't do that again. Don't be mad."

She was still breathing in and out, but she lowered her hands. Then she reached out and touched his knee. "I'm not mad," she said. "I guess I just, I don't know, you know, I haven't, well, you know." She sighed and then she smiled, a little tentatively. "I think I liked it."

He let a smile play on his lips. "You think?" he asked, feeling a bit of relief.

She really did blush then. "I know," she said quietly.

####

She couldn't stop smiling on her way home. The kissing had been amazing. She loved kissing Deacon, that she knew for sure. What she hadn't expected was the way he had touched her. She didn't think he'd planned it, thought it was just one of those heat of the moment things, like she read about in her romance novels. She'd certainly read about how the leading man would cup the heroine's breast, how he would let his fingers touch the skin there, tease the nipple, and then the heroine would always gasp with pleasure, kind of like she did.

It had been a surprise, but after she thought about it, she realized she had liked it. He wasn't touching her skin, of course, and she didn't think she was quite ready for that yet, but when he had touched the place where her nipple was covered by her bra, she had felt a zinger that had shot down from her breast all the way to the place between her legs, and it had felt like molten lava. He had kissed her some more, but he hadn't done that again. He was too much of a gentleman, she thought. Well, and they were sort of in a public place where people could see. She wasn't sure she thought it would be good for them to do that in public.

It had been such a great afternoon and she couldn't wait for Thursday.

She glanced over at the clock beside her bed. Deacon would be there in less than fifteen minutes and she still hadn't settled on an outfit to wear. She had finally decided on a denim miniskirt, but couldn't decide what top to wear. She had tried on, and discarded, a gingham print blouse, a peasant blouse, three different t-shirts, and a tank top. Nothing felt right. Or it was something Deacon had already seen. She stomped her feet and made an angry noise, then stalked back into her closet.

She crossed her arms over her waist as she stared at the blouses in her closet. Finally she turned to the other side, where her dresses were, and started picking through them. She knew she needed to hurry and finally she just grabbed a dark paisley dress, with a deeply cut neckline – one her father made her change out of if he ever saw her wear it – and an empire waistline. The sleeves were tight at the top and loose, like a poet's blouse, at the bottom. She knew it looked good on her.

She quickly unzipped the skirt and shimmied it off, stepping out of it and then slid the dress on. She ran out to her full-length mirror and smoothed the dress down around her hips, straightening the neckline and fluffing out the sleeves. She reached for a necklace that nestled perfectly against her chest, just above her cleavage. Then she went back to her closet and pulled out a pair of boots. She sat on the edge of her bed and pulled them on, then jumped up, grabbed her purse, and skipped down the hallway and the stairs to the foyer, just as a knock came at the front door.

When she opened the door, Deacon stood there. He had on a striped shirt, tucked into his jeans, with the top two buttons open and the sleeves rolled up. A slow smile crossed his face when he saw her and she could feel the heat in her cheeks. "Hey," she said.

"Hey," he answered. She could see him swallow. "You ready?" She nodded and walked out onto the porch, closing the door behind her. As she walked beside him down the steps, he turned and looked at her appreciatively. "You look pretty."

She smiled. "Thanks. You look handsome."

He bit his lower lip. She could tell he probably wasn't used to compliments. "Let's go then," he said, opening the door of the truck and helping her in.

She straightened her dress around her and picked at her hair, then folded her hands in her lap, as Deacon hurried around and got in on the other side. He put the key in the ignition and then looked over at her. "I'm looking forward to tonight," she said.

"Me too." He reached for her hand. "You're gonna be great, Ray."

She looked over at him sharply. "What did you call me?"

"Oh, sorry. Rayna."

She bit her lip and then smiled. "It's okay. I kind of like it," she said. "Ray." She rolled it around in her head. It was like a pet name. She thought it probably meant something, that he did that. She nodded. "I do like it." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "I've never had a nickname."

He smiled. "Well, now you do." Then he turned the key and they headed out to the street.

####

He watched Rayna from across the room. She was talking to Stewart and Vince, her hands flying around animatedly. She looked beautiful, in that dress that hugged her figure and showed off her cleavage. But that also worried him a little and made him feel protective. He'd seen several guys at Shotgun Sally's look her up and down, then settle on her breasts. His inclination was to punch them, but he tried to stay in control of his emotions. He just didn't want anyone to hurt her.

She turned then and looked around the room, her eyes finally settling on him. She smiled, that dazzling smile she had, and he felt a warmth fill him up. He smiled back and she hurried over to him. "This is going to be so much fun," she cried, linking her arm through his and giving him a quick kiss on the lips. Then he saw a little blush on her cheeks. "I'm so glad you're going to be on stage with me, Deacon. I feel so much better when you're there."

"Did you decide, finally, what you're doing?"

She nodded. "I want to do 'Back Again'. The one you helped me with. And then 'Cumberland Girl', that one you know. And that Judd's song." She bit her lip. "Do you remember 'Back Again'?"

He smiled. "I do. This gonna be the first time you sing it on stage?"

"Yes. I'm nervous though."

"It's a good song, Ray."

She smiled. "But it's a ballad." She bit her lip again. "Maybe people won't like it."

He shook his head. "People will like anything you sing, Rayna."

She lifted her shoulders and then sighed, dropping them again. "I really appreciate you doing this with me, Deacon. I know you have your own set and that's what you should be concentrating on…."

"Rayna, I wouldn't do it 'less I wanted to. I'm glad to help you out." He couldn't help but think back to Watty's comments about him teaming up with Rayna. It surprised him, somehow, to realize that he kind of liked the idea of doing it, maybe even on a regular basis. "I'll be your guitar player any time you need me."

She looked so happy then that he thought he would probably do anything for her, anything to see that smile. "You're so sweet," she said, kissing him on the cheek. "I know it's not your dream, but you're helping me with mine." And then he knew for sure. He'd do anything for her, anything to stay close to her.

He walked up on stage with her, sliding his guitar over his shoulder. She turned her back to the crowd and looked at him, her eyes wide and her hands clasped in front of her. "You okay?" he asked.

She nodded mutely. He waited, but she still just stood there, looking at him. He opened his mouth to ask her if she was okay, but then she whispered, "I'm good." She turned around then and took the microphone off the stand. She glanced over her shoulder at him with a smile and then he started the opening chords for her song.

I had that dream late last night
I was yours and you were mine
Watched you fade into the morning light, again

And I don't mean to change your mind
We've had this talk a hundred times
It's raining like a river down my eyes
And I don't want to talk about
How our hearts are doing now
God knows the both of us have tried
We were so in love, just a couple kids
It's a long way back, again

A few left turns
And honey we got lost
But I still kept my fingers crossed
Wish I could take a train
Back to us, again

We were so in love, just a couple kids
It's a long way back, again

If only you and I would just
Forget the world a while
It'd be so easy
If only years and sparks would just
Surrender to our hearts
You'd be right with me
Cause I still carry you with me

He didn't remember all the words, but it turned out okay. He stepped in with the right amount of harmony and before long, he was just watching her as she played to the audience. She was a natural. He knew – she was going to be a star one day. He didn't know how long it would take or everything she might have to go through to get there, but she would make it. And he wanted to be right there with her when she did.

####

She was still tingling all over from her short set. It felt like every time she stepped onto a stage, she was more and more comfortable, more and more sure of herself. It was so easy to get all into herself when she was in front of an audience, wondering how they would react, if they would like what she sang, if they liked how she looked. She'd find herself focusing more on that than the music and then, when she stepped off the stage, she could hardly remember how it felt, just doing what she loved.

This time, though, she'd made herself focus on the joy of it. Maybe it was partly because Deacon was there, and took the pressure off by playing guitar for her, but knowing he was there supporting her had seemed to free her to just enjoy the moment. She found herself looking back at him occasionally, waiting for his encouraging smile. She would walk over to him, leaning in with her shoulder and turning her head to him as she sang. It had all felt so natural and perfect. When her set was over, he had swung his guitar behind him and put his arms around her, holding her tight.

You were amazing, Ray, he'd whispered in her ear. She felt the tingle again, all the way down to her toes. She had had tears in her eyes as she felt the warmth of his body close to her own. She had almost said I love you and had had to bite down on her tongue to stop the words. But that was how she felt. And when she had walked off the stage, she'd felt like she was walking on clouds, that warm, happy feeling enveloping her like a blanket.

Now he was on stage by himself, after doing a set with Stewart and Vince. Her heart started beating hard as she watched him. He was wearing a flannel shirt, something she would never have worn in the middle of a hot Tennessee summer, but when she had felt it, it had felt thin and worn, and it had made her heart ache, to think that he was living on a shoestring while she lived in that ridiculous mansion in Belle Meade. He looked sexy though, like the leading men in her romance novels looked to her in her minds' eye. His hair was falling onto his forehead just a little and, from where she sat, his eyes were smoldering. She watched his fingers on the guitar strings and thought about how they felt against her skin, wondered how they might feel on her breasts. She felt that tingle again, right in her nipples, and she found herself feeling grateful for the darkness inside the venue, because she knew they were hard. She pulled up on her neckline just a bit.

She couldn't take her eyes off him and, as she watched him, she imagined that he was looking at her the whole time. She was sure that wasn't true, but she liked thinking it. His voice was like smoky caramel, not that she'd ever had smoky caramel, but it sounded like what she thought that might taste like. Deep, rich, smooth with a touch of huskiness to it here and there. The songs he performed were magical and she decided she would ask him to perform everything he'd written for her someday.

When he was done, she jumped to her feet, like everyone else, and applauded excitedly. She was bouncing on her toes as she watched a humble smile cross his face as he acknowledged the crowd. It made her wonder if he hadn't heard much positive reinforcement, growing up the way he had. She breathed in and then sighed, thinking she understood. Her father wasn't good at praise, at least not for her, and she'd felt a little like she was alone on an island, ever since her mom had died.

She felt a lump in her throat and the hint of tears in her eyes and she took several deep breaths, not wanting to spoil this night with tears and regrets. She looked up and saw Deacon winding his way through the crowd, seeming to be looking right at her. And then he was right there in front of her, a big smile on his face, his skin glistening just a touch with perspiration from the lights. Again he swung his guitar behind him and wrapped an arm around her, leaning down to kiss her. She put her hands on his waist and opened her mouth to his, letting his tongue sweep through and tangle with her own.

When he finally pulled away, he looked at her, smiling again. "Let's go," he said, his voice hoarse. She picked up her purse and put her arm around his waist, letting him lead her out to the parking lot.

They got on the freeway and he was driving just a little fast, but she didn't care. The windows were down and the wind was blowing her hair around and she finally captured it with one hand, holding it in a makeshift side ponytail. She laughed. "That was so much fun!" she cried.

He looked over at her and smiled. "It was, wasn't it? And you were just so awesome, Ray. I mean, you're gonna be a star before long. I just know it. You killed it out there."

She could feel herself blush. "Well, I don't know about that, but thank you." She smiled back at him. "I'm staying with my sister this weekend," she said. "She lives in an apartment by Vandy. I was thinking, maybe, um, that we could get together." She bit her lip.

He looked at her again and grinned. "You asking me out on a date, Rayna Jaymes?" he asked, amusement on his face and in his voice.

She laughed. "Yes, I guess I am. You okay with that?"

He raised his eyebrows. "I absolutely am okay with that. And with going on a date. Saturday?"

She nodded. "Sounds good to me. I'll give you Tandy's address."

####

Tandy sat on her bed and watched as Rayna went through the clothes she'd brought with her, trying to decide what to wear. "Babe, I loved that blue blouse you had on a minute ago," she said to her sister, who was now trying on another blouse.

Rayna turned around and glared at Tandy. "He's already seen that."

Tandy had to fight rolling her eyes. "Then why did you bring it?" she asked.

Rayna sighed, sounding irritated, throwing her hands out to the side. "I don't know," she whined. "I'm such an idiot. I have no idea how to date." She sat down hard on the edge of the bed.

"That's ridiculous, babe. You do so know how to date. You've been out with him before, right?"

Rayna looked glum. "Yes."

"And it went well, right?"

Rayna rolled her eyes. "I guess."

Tandy scooted over and took her sister's hand. "Don't worry so much. He likes you. He won't notice you wearing the blue blouse again. I promise. He probably won't even be looking at the blouse at all."

Rayna sighed. Then, suddenly, she jumped up and ran into Tandy's closet. "Can I wear this?" Tandy heard her say from inside the closet. She waited until Rayna came running out, holding a hangar with a white poet's blouse.

Tandy peered at it closely. She'd forgotten it was even back there. "If it fits, you can wear it," she said, with a little smile. She had not been as fortunate as her sister in the boob department. Rayna had developed early and had lush, full breasts, while Tandy's were small and perky, if not so full.

Rayna shrugged out of the blue blouse and slid on the white one. Then she turned to face Tandy. "What do you think?" she asked, a smile on her face.

Tandy thought it looked just a touch snug in the bust, but it definitely showed off her cleavage to nice advantage. "You look gorgeous," she said, because it was true. Rayna's red-gold curls were skimming her shoulders and the white really highlighted her sun-kissed skin. Another thing she had over Tandy – Tandy's skin burned easily so she had to stay pale year round. Rayna's skin tanned, although that also showed off her freckles more prominently.

"So I can wear it?"

Tandy nodded and laughed. "You can wear it." She watched as her sister pulled her boots on and then slid her jeans down over them. She added a gold dragonfly necklace along with large gold hoop earrings. She had applied her makeup with a deft touch, looking youthful and glowing instead of overly made up. When she turned back around and posed for Tandy, she knew Deacon would be appreciative.

She followed Rayna out to the living room and sat on the couch, waiting for Deacon to arrive. As she watched her sister flit around the room with nervous energy, Tandy couldn't help but think about the young man who was taking her sister out. She still wasn't sure about him. Rayna hadn't told her much, just that he was from Mississippi and that he'd come to Nashville when he was seventeen. He didn't seem to be as well-educated as her sister, but she did have to admit he played guitar beautifully and sang surprisingly nuanced songs for a nineteen year old. She worried that it meant he'd had more life experience than Rayna could really handle. After all, her sister was still in high school and still pretty naïve about boys and dating and all of that. She worried that Deacon could, and would, take advantage of her.

When Deacon arrived to pick Rayna up, Tandy made sure to be at the door. Rayna looked annoyed and sighed. "Deacon, this is my sister, Tandy Wyatt," she said, as she clung to her date's arm, obviously anxious to be on their way.

Deacon nodded solicitously. "Nice to meet you, Miss Wyatt." She noticed he was wearing a plaid shirt and jeans. While they looked clean, they also looked a little worn, like he'd had them for a long time.

Tandy waved her hand. "Oh, you can call me Tandy." She could see Rayna's irritation growing, but she didn't care. "So where are you taking my sister tonight?"

Deacon looked a little surprised, but he recovered well. "Um, I was gonna take her to hear some music at Five Spot, then maybe grab a bite to eat. I'll have her home on time."

"Five Spot? That's East Nashville, right?"

"Uh, yes ma'am, I mean, yes."

She smiled a little. "Be careful then. And have a good time."

Rayna looked relieved. She tugged on Deacon's arm. "Okay, so we'll see you later," she said, pulling Deacon down the walkway to the stairs.

Tandy stayed at the open door until she saw them walk into the parking lot. She saw them get into an old, beat up truck, and she sighed. He might be a nice looking young man, but he was certainly not good enough for her sister. And Rayna knew very little about him, really. It really made her nervous. She was definitely worried that Rayna might be in over her head.

Rayna had been gone about a half hour and Tandy herself was getting ready to go out with some friends. Just before she walked out the door, she stopped, then turned back and walked into her bedroom, where she picked up her phone. She dialed the number and waited.

"Hey, Daddy. How are you?" She listened for a moment as he told her about some deal he was working on. He was very anxious for her to join him in the family business and, now that she was in business school, he had started talking with her about his deals, educating her in the world of real estate development and commercial projects. "We'll have to talk about that some more, maybe tomorrow night. I really was calling because I thought maybe you had someone who could get some information on the guy Rayna's been taking guitar lessons from." She listened again. "All I'm saying is that maybe before she makes a big mistake, you could have, I don't know, maybe Albert do some digging. Just to make sure there's nothing she needs to be worried about." She listened and sighed. "Daddy, I don't think it's anything to be concerned with right now, but this is the right time to check him out." She listened. "Okay, I'll talk to you later. Bye, Daddy."

She hung up the phone and, for a moment, wondered if she'd done the right thing. But she reminded herself that Rayna was young and unsophisticated. She'd been sheltered from the day she was born and, especially since their mom had died, Lamar had kept it that way. Rayna hadn't had much experience with boys and now this one was in her life and Tandy couldn't help but worry. Her antenna was up. Something felt different this time and she owed it to their mom to keep Rayna safe.