Warning- Self harm, anorexia,suicidal feelings from character.

Chapter 4:

I grinned to myself when I saw Kurt at the Lima Bean. I held Kurt's coffee order and walked over to his table where Blaine was sitting across from him. Blaine. Even the sound of his name makes me sneer. No Sebastian, smile for Kurt.

I swagger over there, trying to make myself look presentable," Hey, Kurt. Blaine." I smile handing a coffee cup to a confused Kurt." It's a thank you for what happened yesterday." My smile grows bigger when he takes a tentative sip and gulps it down.

"So uh Sebastian, how's it going?" Blaine asks, trying to draw the attention off of Kurt.

I turn my head so fast that it you could hear the whoosh of the air moving." Everything's great, hobbit." I sneer at him. Did he not see Kurt right in front of him? Why bother strike up a conversation with me?

He 's taken aback and I mentally cackle. I bet that he was expecting to be showered in complements not be insulted. I turn back to Kurt and see that he is also shocked. That's when I remember I have to be nice to Blaine to get on Kurt's good side. I smile and walk away, thinking about what a fail I am. Even being nice gets me nowhere.

I order a low-fat blueberry muffin and snag an empty table and watch as they converse. Blaine seems very upbeat a happy. He's contributing to the conversation, in fact it looks like he's trying to save the conversation. Kurt looks bored. He looks stressed and highly annoyed by the over gelled gnome. He is barely saying anything, while he is texting vigorously under the table.

I check the time and see that I've been watching the pitiful scene for half an hour. I gather my things and throw away the uneaten muffin. I will myself to stop staring at Kurt and leave the Lima Bean.

I arrive back at Dalton about twenty minutes before the Warbler meetings Wes is still there, arms crossed with a very pissed off look on his face. I look at my phone again. Damnit! Today was fucking Wednesday! Which meant I had missed an entire meeting.

"You know what, Smythe? I don't care about however much money you have or how fucking great your singing is! Enough is enough! We all voted and came to an unanimous decision. You're are now officially removed from Dalton Academy's Acepella Warblers!" Wes said exasperated.

I stood there, the words not registering in my mind. They kicked me off. It was an unanimous vote. They all hate me.

Wes pushes his way past me and I am left there alone. Like always.

I wait about five minutes, so I know that I won't run into Wes. Then I make a dash to my dorm. I locked myself in the bathroom again. Should I call Kurt? He would make me feel better. But why did it matter if he made me feel better? I was going to be gone in a couple of days. Ten days to be exact. Then he'll be left with his downfalling relationship with the hobbit.

I have everything planned out. I'll start eating again two days prior to the event, that way I die in the ugly and fat form I was some days ago, when I decided to go through with this. The day before the last day of my life, I am donating everything I have to charity. 12 hours before I go into total chipper mood, come up with some excuse to tell people. 10 hours I am driving home and tell my drunk of a father that I'll be thinking of him whilst I burn in hell. 5 hours, I am going into lockdown in my dorm room. 3 hours, I will write my letters to those that care about me, which is just Kurt. 60 minutes I will delete every online account I have: Facebook, Instagram, Skype, etc. Then at I will take out a new blade and slit my wrists.

It is the most brilliant and perfect plan ever! I smirk to myself, dropping my phone. I don't need anyone. I don't need the Warblers. And I most certainly don't need Kurt 'GayFace' Hummel. I am Sebastian Smythe, I control my own life.

And in ten days, I will end my own life.

I'm going to end it all.