Hi Everyone, thanks for still reading :) The handcuffs are about to come off.
File ID HC034902 - Handcuff-project
Date: July 09, 2012
Participants: Tony Stark/Iron Man, Steve Rogers/Captain America
Supervisor: Stella Moon - ID T453
Task #03 - Dinner
"So you are the unfortunate nanny?" Clint asks leaning against the counter with a granola bar in his hand.
I chuckle as I watch Steve scan through a cookbook pacing in front of the oven along with Tony who is talking to his AI. "It seems so. And you?"
He shrugs. "I got a free afternoon. And a bet."
"Romanoff?" I ask and he nods. Obviously. "You say they will make it and she that they won't?"
"Oh no. We know they will. The only question is the time."
"Twenty bucks say it will take more than a week from today," Natasha says walking in and snatching the granola bar from Clint.
"It won't last that long," I claim.
"Wanna bet?" Natasha asks.
I shake my head. "I am not sure it would be ethical. I kind of helped them get into this situation."
"Kind of, right," Tony calls without looking up from his phone.
"So what's the plan, guys?" I ask.
I glance at Clint who bites off a piece of the granola bar in Natasha's hand. They are so comfortable with each other as if they weren't cold, heartless master spies.
Steve looks up. "Steak."
"Such a creative choice," Clint says.
"Not for you. I'll have Jarvis order you pizza," Tony retorts.
"Hey, give me my steak, mate," Clint protests.
"Too late," Tony shrugs with a smirk.
I walk over to the two men hoping that finally we can cross out one item on that damned list.
Tony turns to me. "Great, give us a hand, will you? We'll need a list of how every one of you free people like your steak. Well done for you, I suppose?"
"Why, do you think I can't handle a little blood?" I ask almost offended. It would be easier if I didn't like my steak actually well done. He keeps looking at me in a rather funny way. "Medium," I decide knowing that I will regret that.
I complete the list in just five minutes with a phone call to Bruce, Fury's secretary, Coulson and Hill, and when I return to the boys, Steve peels potatoes and Tony chops up vegetables. They don't talk to each other.
"Will you tell me what happened?" I ask perching on a countertop.
"What do you mean?" Tony asks.
"I mean you are actually working together."
"And it surprises you because…?" I give Tony a look. He shrugs. "We came to a truce."
"No talking, no fighting, getting out of these," Steve adds clinking the chain of the handcuffs against the counter.
"Solid plan," I nod.
It was. And it worked. Ninety minutes later we sat around the table and I started cutting into my medium steak. I should have asked for well done. Oh well.
"It's delicious gentlemen," Natasha says. "I guess Jarvis won't tell us where it is ordered from?" She teases.
"Very funny," Steve murmurs.
"I would say this handcuff-project didn't have a positive impact on your sense of humour," Natasha shrugs.
"It would be just nice to have a shower alone."
"Aren't you an army vet? I thought you're used to it," Clint chimes in.
"Let him be you guys," Bruce interjects. "They fixed a nice dinner and they are on their way to get them off."
"It's official. One of the three is completed," I nod. I hope it means they are on the right track to get done the other two as well.
File ID HC034820 - Handcuff-project
Date: July 10, 2012
Participants: Tony Stark/Iron Man, Steve Rogers/Captain America
Supervisor: Stella Moon - ID T453
Task #02 - Negotiation
"Round two," Tony sighs as they sat down in the meeting room.
"I hope you have a strategy now," I remark. "Last time was a diplomatic catastrophe."
Tony nods. "We do. It is technically not a real negotiation but rather an offer they can't refuse."
"Are you planning to send them a horse head as well?" I ask.
Steve frowns for a moment but then smiles widely. Before he could say anything, Tony groans in annoyance.
"Good, you understood the reference. Now let's get to work."
As the meeting starts I am blown away. Steve starts asking if the leaders changed their mind. They did not.
"We understand why you don't want to hand the weapons and equipments over. We do," Steve says.
"Our only reason is that we do not have them," the mayor repeats for the umpteenth time.
"Yes, we know this is your statement. Now let's just pretend for a moment that you do have them," Steve responds easily. "In this case you might find it a good opportunity to sell them. You would get good money for them." He doesn't let them react. "Or you could use them in case of another attack."
Tony takes it over. "But there is nothing you have that could trigger another attack, right?"
The mayor clears his throat before answering. I can see the chain move between Steve and Tony which could only mean that they know they are on the right track. It also means they now communicate through the handcuffs which is rather funny all things considered.
"That is correct," Kamur finally says.
"That is great," Steve nods. "We'll tell you what your options would be in case you, hypothetically, would have those weapons. If you tried to sell them, your buyers would probably know where they came from, right? Unless you would sell them to ones who don't know anything about weapons. But that would be irresponsible, moreover, they wouldn't pay enough."
"Now keeping them for self-defence would be much more sensible and, well, morally acceptable. But the problem with that is that as we claim to know something you keep denying, others probably know about it as well. Which makes your city a target," Tony says.
"It was a target," the mayor snaps. "Because of your bloody warehouse."
"And according to the reports you got reimbursed for that. You received the resources to rebuild the village, didn't you?" Steve asks.
The mayor nods uncomfortably.
"That's right. But this time SHIELD cannot take responsibility for something that it did not cause in the first place. I really hope you do not have those weapons because they will make your life so hard, sir," Tony sighs dramatically. I have to bite back a laugh.
"On the other hand it doesn't have to be like that. If you could just hand over the weapons and equipment we have, SHIELD, and more importantly, Stark Industries would make sure to protect the village and its surroundings from future unwanted company," Steve remarks.
"What would be your price?" Another man asks. Interesting. I almost believed they didn't have the weapons.
"We would require you to hand us over any terrorist who tries to attack the village," Tony replies.
"Is that all?"
"And the weapons and equipment you hypothetically possess at the moment," Steve adds.
They just won the game. The mayor mumbles something about having a look around and getting back to us.
When the screen goes black, I smile at the men. "You nailed it. You actually did it. Where did you hide your talent to work together so seamlessly?"
Steve smiles back. "We got drunk and had a real macho talk."
"We also made friendship bracelets," Tony says.
"Fine. You don't want to tell me. No need for sarcasm," I huff, but I am not angry. I am actually quite happy that they are working together.
"It's not like I can just turn it off," Tony shrugs.
"All the three?" Coulson asks when I storm into his office and drop the files on his desk.
"Yes. Why aren't you happier about it, Phil?" I ask frowning. "Were you in on the bet?"
"And just lost twenty bucks. But otherwise yes, of course I am happy. Good job."
"Don't you think it is unprofessional of you to place such a bet on those who are in this situation partly because of you?"
"Because of themselves. They are in that situation because they refused to work together after several warnings."
"Still," I reply stubbornly.
"Well, as you see I just got punished for that. So can you stop chastising me over it, please?" Phil asks. He reads through the files. "What about the robot fighting?"
"Oh, funny story. By the time I got to the gym there were only smashed robots on the ground around them."
"And you know it was them because…?"
"Because Jarvis played it back for me when I started pestering Tony about it." Pester was his word, obviously.
"And Jarvis couldn't have manipulated the footage?"
"Damn, Phil, say goodbye to your money," I snap. "Have them do it again if you like. But I am out, okay? I did what you wanted from me. I want to get back to my work now please."
"Fine," he nods. "What about Monday? Are you free?"
I stare at him blankly.
"I promised you a dinner. For putting up with SHIELD. You've earned it." Oh. That.
"Sure. Sounds great," I nod with a smile. I might have aged a decade in the last months but at least Director Fury pays for my caviar. What a job.