Disclaimer: I don't own Tom and Jerry. I'm just a fan.
Ready for another chapter? Yeah, after the last three chapters of non-stop adventure, mystery, suspense, and drama, I figured you guys would want a chapter where things go back to normal (As if anything about the Tom and Jerry Gang can be called that).
So, here we are! Chapter 10! Back to normal!
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Insanity Chapter 10: Back to Normal
And so their quest was finally over. Each of our heroes was so exhausted that they fell asleep in the living room.
Tom had fallen asleep on the couch and Jerry was snoring on top of Tom's stomach.
Spike had fallen asleep on the floor, using his teddy bear "Ruggles" as a pillow. Butch was sleeping on a chair and Tyke was sleeping next to his father.
It was about 2:00 at night when they collapsed in the living room, and it was about 7:00 in the morning when they were woken up by Tyke, who as usual wanted Tom to make him breakfast.
"UNCLE TOM! I WANT BREAKFAST!" Tyke yelled.
Tom and Jerry stirred.
"Shut up, brat. I'm trying to sleep" Tom groaned.
"UNCLE TOM, I'M HUNGRY!"
No response.
"I WANT FOOD!"
Still no response.
"UNCLE TOM!"
Jerry groaned.
"Tom, will you just make the kid some breakfast so he can leave us alone?" Jerry groaned.
Butch yawned.
"Morning, fellas." he said.
"I… WANT… BREAKFAST!" Tyke yelled.
"Alright, already. I'll give you your breakfast! Just stop yelling!" Tom growled.
Tom pushed Jerry off of his stomach.
"Move," he growled as he got up and headed to the kitchen.
With a yawn, Jerry sat up and stretched.
"(Yawn) Morning already?" the little mouse asked as he looked out the window.
Jerry yawned again as he jumped off the couch and began to flex his tired muscles.
The smell of pancakes, bacon, and eggs filled the house as Tom fixed Tyke his breakfast. Soon, Tom shoved the plate into Tyke's face. With the pup whooping in delight, Tom went back to the kitchen to fix his daily cup of coffee.
He had a feeling he was going to need it.
Soon, Tyke dragged his plate in front of the TV. He turned it on and he began to watch Scooby-Doo.
With the Scooby-Doo theme music ringing in his ears, Butch yawned and got up from his chair, which wasn't the least bit comfortable.
"That is the last time I sleep on that darned wooden chair" Butch growled as he stretched. As he stretched, a faint cracking sound came from his body and Butch winced.
He would be feeling that for the next few days.
In any case, it seemed Spike was the only one that was still asleep as he continued to snore.
Eventually, Spike rolled over, muttering something about his radioactive camel weasel as if this made sense.
Then, Tom came back into the room and sat down on the couch while drinking his coffee.
With nothing else to do, he simply sat on the couch, taking occasional sips of coffee as he watched the Scooby-Doo gang run from a monster for the umpteenth time only for the monster to get revealed to be That One Guy Who Always Had A Motive For Dressing Up As A Monster And Scaring People.
The phone began to ring but no one was in any mood to answer it.
The phone continued to ring, and ring, and ring.
Eventually, the phone stopped ringing and the answer machine came on.
Answer Machine:
"Hey there, this is the residence of Jerry Mouse. Other people live here too but they're not important so I'm going to mention those idiots-"
"Oh, so we're idiots are we?"
"Butch! How long have you been listening?"
"Give me that phone! Hi, this is Butch! If you have called this house and you hear this message then that must mean that we are not here-"
"Well, of course we wouldn't be here if the answer machine activated."
"Jerry, would you shut up! You're ruining the message!" (Butch)
"Um, what's the message again?" (Spike)
"That we are not here at the house!" (Jerry)
"But we ARE at the house." (Spike)
"No, you idiot! I'm just recording the voicemail message!" (Jerry)
"What?" (Spike)
"I'm recording the voicemail message for our phone!" (Jerry)
"Voicemail? What's that?" (Spike)
"It's what you will become in the next few seconds!" (Butch)
"That makes no sense!" (Jerry)
"Of course it does!" (Butch)
"Does not!" (Jerry)
"Does Too" (Butch)
"Does NOT!" (Jerry)
"You do realize that the phone is still recording this, right?" (Butch)
"Then turn it off!" (Jerry)
"But we didn't finish our message!" (Butch)
"Hey, Tyke! Let go of the phone!" (Jerry)
"Hey peoples! This is Tyke Bulldog! I'm the coolest puppy that you have ever seen! I'm cute, I like chilidogs, I'm cute, I'm six years old, I'm cute, I like chilidogs, Spike is my father, I like corndogs-"
"Don't you mean chilidogs?" (Jerry)
"Oh, yeah. I like chilidogs and I…" (Tyke)
"Oh good googly moogly, will someone please finish the voicemail recording!" (Butch)
"Bah! Give me that phone! You fools can do nothing right. This is Tom Cat, and I wish I could say that I'm sorry that I couldn't answer the phone, but 9 times out of 10, you'd probably be someone I hate anyway so I'd be lying if I said that. If you are calling us and you're a personal friend then I will try to call you back if I can remember that you exist. If you are a fan, then I will have to ask that you never call us again if you value your life. If you are a FanFiction writer/reader and you are calling for a slash/romance between me and Jerry then go take a gun and shoot yourself in the (the following 39 words are censored)
The message ended.
"Um, Tom, Jerry? Anybody there? Just calling to remind you that we are filming an episode of 'Tom and Jerry Tales' today so you will need to arrive at the studio at nine o'clock today. And you better show up on time, or else!" came the voice of the Director. Then the message ended.
Tom groaned.
Great, yet another thing to ruin his day.
So, Tom just sat there with his coffee as his brother and Jerry went into the kitchen to get themselves some breakfast.
Butch had just gotten himself a bowl of Cheerios while Jerry had made a… actually, he didn't know what the heck that was supposed to be, but it had a lot of cheese in it.
Darn mice and their cheese cravings.
And so, the Tom and Jerry Crew just sat there, in a rare moment of silence.
Tom wasn't yelling bitterly at anybody, Jerry wasn't saying anything, Butch wasn't messing with his sibling (for once), Tyke was too busy eating and watching TV to do anything significant, and Spike was still sleeping.
So, basically, it was much more quiet than usual around here.
Tyke was the first one to break the silence.
"Can I go upstairs and play with my toys?" he asked.
Jerry looked at the clock.
"Fine, but make it quick. Today's Monday so you have school today." Jerry said.
"Oh" Tyke said, disappointed at the prospect of having to go to school again.
Butch chuckled.
"Cheer up, Tyke. At least you'll get to see your best friend again. What was his name? Sniffles?" Butch asked.
"It's Nibbles."
"Right, right, that guy." Butch said.
Tyke shrugged before he ran towards the stairs.
Spike began to snore again and Butch decided to wake him up.
"Wakey, wakey, Spike" Butch said as he shook Spike's body.
Spike yawned before slowly looking up at Butch, who had a grin on his face.
Spike squinted.
"Why… are you so happy?" he asked.
Butch frowned.
"What are you talking about? I'm always happy (most of the time)." he said.
Spike blinked.
"Oh, it's you. For a minute, I thought you were your brother" Spike said.
Butch blinked.
"I'm not going to ask how you could have possibly gotten me confused with Tom." Butch said.
"Well, Tom does wear black all the time and you have black fur." Jerry rationalized.
"Is that supposed to be your version of a racist joke?!" Butch yelled.
"Dude, I wasn't…"
"How many times do I have to say this?! Just because I have black fur doesn't make me black and even if it does that doesn't mean that you have any right to make fun of me" Butch said.
"Dude, calm down. I wasn't being racist. I was just making a statement. And I have nothing against blacks. I love black people." Jerry said.
"You're only saying that because the author is black and you're just kissing up to him" Tom said as he sipped his coffee.
"Hey, shut up!" Jerry said, trying to hide his OOAM (Obsessing Over the Author Machine).
"Anyway," Tom said, passing his rodent friend a suspicious glare, "The Director called. He wants us at the Studio by nine"
Jerry groaned.
"Drat, I was hoping for a day off after all the chaos that happened yesterday." he said.
"Believe me, life is never going to be that kind to you" Tom said as he sipped his drink.
Butch shrugged.
"Whatever, as long as we don't have to work with Mammy Two-Shoes again, then I don't care" Butch said.
"As I said, life isn't going to be that kind" Tom said.
Butch groaned and slammed his head on the table. Of course, since his cereal was on the table, he ended up slamming his face into the cereal. Butch's face was covered in milk and Cheerios as he lifted his face from the bowl (EPIC FAIL).
Then, a very huge 8-foot mutated spider walked in the room (What? Tom's a Goth, and by natural law, all Goths are supposed to have a creepy and an intimidating pet).
It crawled up to Tom and hissed at him.
"Oh shut up," Tom said. He grabbed a jar of flies and handed it to the spider.
"Here. Now, shut up and leave me alone." Tom said.
Satisfied, the spider left the room.
"It still creeps me out that you have a pet mutant spider." Butch said after a moment (those of you who read chapter 3 recently should remember this fact).
"For the last time, it's a mutant tarantula." Tom corrected.
"That doesn't exactly make me feel better."
"Whatever. He won't hurt you. Unless you threaten him. Then he'll bite you with enough poison to put you in the hospital"
"That's still not very comforting" Butch said.
"You think I care?"
Butch shook his head as he grabbed a towel and wiped his face from the milk and cereal that was still attached to it.
Spike yawned as he rubbed his eyes to get rid of the sleepiness.
Then, he got up and picked up his teddy bear.
"C'mon Ruggles. It's time for us to get breakfast" Spike said.
Spike picked up his purple teddy bear and Tom, who just now noticed Spike's teddy bear, raised an eyebrow.
Spike went into the kitchen with "Ruggles", and when Tom turned to Butch, the black cat sighed before saying, "Don't ask".
Tom eventually lost interest in Spike's new "friend", and got back to his coffee.
Spike looked at the available food in the kitchen. After looking around, he settled on a bowl of oatmeal.
Tom went into the kitchen to get more coffee and some toast.
And so, everyone sat there and did their thing. Eventually, Tom and Jerry stood up.
"Looks like it's time for us to head to the Studio." Jerry said.
Tom went upstairs and got Tyke.
"Alright, get up! It's time for you to go to school" Tom said.
"But I don't wanna go!" Tyke said.
"Too bad. You're going to school whether you want to or not. Now shut it and move" Tom said.
Groaning, Tyke put his toy train away as he followed Tom out of his room.
Everyone got out of the door and into their car.
Tom was locking the door and Butch got an idea. Butch checked to make sure everyone was in the car except Tom.
Then, he pushed the pedal and drove off without Tom.
"HEY!" Tom shouted.
He tried to run after the car but the car was too fast and Butch was speeding away.
Tom was shouting and screaming words that wouldn't be appropriate to put in this K rated fanfiction.
Butch was laughing while Jerry looked nervous.
"You know Tom is going to kill you for this, right?" Jerry asked.
"I don't care. My brother deserves it after all the crud he's put us through. He can walk himself to the Studio." Butch said.
The car sped to Tyke's school in order to drop Tyke off.
After doing so, the gang sped their way to the Studio, having to dodge passing cars and occasionally driving on the sidewalk.
Soon, they made it to the Warner Bros. Studio.
After showing their passes to the guard at the gate, they continued on to the studio lot.
As usual, the place was brimming with WB characters as they walked through the lot.
Up ahead, Tootles was speaking with Daffy Duck from the Looney Tunes cast. Upon seeing the Tom and Jerry Gang, she excused herself and walked up to them.
"Hey guys!" Tootles said.
"Hey Tootles!" Butch said with a grin on his face.
"So, are you guys ready to act in the new 'Tom and Jerry Tales' cartoon?" she asked with an overly peppy grin on her face.
"As ready as we'll ever be, I guess" Jerry said.
"What are you doing here, anyway? Did the Director call you too?" Spike asked.
"Yeah. He called me and told me to come to the studio. He also told me not to be late but he always says that," Tootles said, "So, what's been going on with you guys and um… where's Tom?"
As if this triggered a hidden cue, Tom walked through the door of the studio and glared at his brother.
If looks could kill, then Tom would be a mass murderer by now.
"You SLIMEBAG! How dare you leave me in the dust like that! I'LL HAVE YOUR HIDE!"
Tom began to throttle his brother. Tootles jumped up in shock. Spike tried to dislodge the crazed cat from his brother.
"Now, sibling, calm down" Butch said.
Tom choked him harder.
"I will not calm down! Not after what you did!" Tom shouted.
"You deserved it, you miserable toad!" Butch said, "How did you get here so fast, anyway?"
"Not important! I will not let this go unpunished! PREPARE TO DIE, BUTCH!"
"Tom, calm down!" Jerry said.
"Yeah, sibling, calm down before you hurt yourself." Butch taunted.
Tom continued to choke Butch. Left with no other choice, Butch punched Tom and the gray cat fell to the ground.
Butch was breathing heavily.
"Well, that could've gone better." Butch said as he dusted himself off.
"What did you do to get Tom so mad, anyway?" Tootles asked.
"Well, I uh…" Butch was struggling for words.
"Um, guys, what's wrong with Tom?" Spike asked.
Butch looked down and saw that Tom was breathing… very heavily.
"Um, yeah, he's… breathing heavily. That's usually a sign that he's about to blow… RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Butch said.
"DIE!"
Tom's voice echoed through the studio.
Butch, Jerry, Spike, and Tootles ran as Tom got up with a sinister look on his face.
With a scream, he ran after them with an inhuman speed.
"AAH! HELP!" they screamed.
Five security guards came and tried to stop Tom, but the cat was too strong and broke through the guards as if they were bowling pins. The gray cat was absolutely enraged.
Everyone ran away as Tom chased them.
"RUN, TOOTLES, RUN!" Butch screamed as they ran away.
Butch, Spike, Jerry, and Tootles sprinted madly through the studio. Jerry saw a mouse hole and ran inside of it. Spike jumped into a burning fireplace and tried to disguise himself as part of the fire (even though the fire began to burn him).
Butch decided to pick up Tootles and carry her as if he was a superhero rescuing a damsel in distress (this scene would have been cooler if Tootles hadn't been whacking Butch's face with her purse).
Tom was slowly catching up to his brother and soon his brother was cornered beside a wall with Tootles still in his arms.
Butch did the unthinkable.
He stuck his tongue out and blew raspberry.
"PFFT! I'm not afraid of you! You fool! You think you can hurt me! Ha! What a has-been. Or more like a never was been! Nobody likes you, you stupid cat!"
Tootles shushed him.
"You fool! Don't provoke him!"
But Butch decided that he was on a roll.
"Everybody hates you! You never have anything good to say! Nothing good to contribute! You never say anything that couldn't be deduced by a complete nincompoop! You're always losing to Jerry of all people in the Tom and Jerry cartoons! You're a moron and a jerk! You're as considerate as an angry bumblebee! Actually, a bumblebee is more considerate than you, you jack-off! So, if you think that I'm afraid of you then go ahead take your best shot!"
Butch struck a pose that he thought was cool (probably to impress Tootles), and Tom was quiet at first.
Then, Tom's muscles and body began to expand until he was the size of the Incredible Hulk.
Tom roared.
"I'm… dead, aren't I?" Butch said hopelessly.
"Gee, you think?" Tootles said sarcastically.
"HULK SMASH!" Tom roared.
Using his gigantic fist, he bashed Butch through the wall. Butch flew through several different walls and buildings at once.
When the smoke cleared, Butch could be seen imbedded in a wall, while Tom had his fist out. Smoke was coming from his fist and Tom blew the smoke away as if he was blowing smoke from a gun.
He took one last look at Butch before turning around and walking away.
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Meanwhile, at Tyke's school
"And so you add this, and you carry the one or something like that, I don't really care…" the teacher said as he droned on.
Tuffy snarled in disgust at the teacher's bad teaching. And he had to be the only one who was trying to pay attention to the lesson.
Everyone else was taking a nap or talking on the phone.
Except for Tyke.
The little pup wasn't even in his seat. Tyke was far away from his seat as he used a black permanent marker to doodle on the walls. He drew pictures of his face and various squiggly lines in permanent black ink and Tuffy briefly wondered if the teacher noticed or even cared about this blatant vandalism to the school's property.
And so, the teacher droned on with a bored expression, the other kids were sleeping or having loud conversations on the phone, and Tyke was doodling on the walls.
Tuffy had had enough.
"You know what? Skip this! If I'm not going to learn anything like I'm really supposed to be, then I'll just leave. Peace!" Tuffy said as he walked out the door.
The teacher didn't notice or didn't care as Tuffy walked out the door and skipped the class.
Tuffy headed to the restroom and entered a stall. There, he reached in his diaper and took out a Nintendo DS and began to play until the bell came for the next class.
He put the DS away as he headed to his class.
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Later On…
"So," said the Director, "you finally got here"
Before him, stood Tom, Jerry, Tootles, Spike, and a battered and a bruised Butch.
"Alright, you're all here! Good. Everyone to the set." The Director said.
Behind him, several studio staff members were preparing the props that were needed as the Tom and Jerry characters walked to their needed positions.
Once the staff cleared off, the Director began to explain the episode.
"Here's how this will go," the Director explained, "This scene will start off with Tom and Jerry sitting on a bench at the carnival and eating cotton candy. Then- where's Tootles?"
"Here!" Tootles replied.
"Good. Then Tootles will come walking by and Tom falls in love. Abandoning Jerry, he decides to accompany her through the carnival leaving poor little Jerry by himself. But then, Jerry gets his revenge as he sics a piranha on Tom (A/N: Anyone who can guess the name of this episode will have my respect)."
And so, the Director continued, "And so, after several funny scenes and gags, Jerry finally gets his revenge, Tom is beaten up, Tootles dumps him, and Tom and Jerry go back to being friends and what-not. Get into places! Chop-chop!"
Everyone began to move to their positions. Tom, Jerry, and Tootles got on the stage. Spike was watching them while Butch grumbled about how Tom always got to be in the 'romantic' scenes with Tootles.
When the Director was satisfied that everyone was in their positions, he gave the go-ahead.
With the go-signal from the Director, everyone got into character and followed their scenes.
The scene went on as Tom ditched Jerry for Tootles and Tom and Tootles went together through the carnival. The scene went by almost flawlessly except for several times when they had to stop because Tom wasn't 'in character' which usually led to a series of cuss-outs from the gray cat.
Eventually though, they got the scene completed.
The Director was pleased at the result of these takes, and he ordered a few extra takes for back-up material.
Eventually though, the episode was completed. They still had two more sets of scenes to go through since each episode of Tom and Jerry Tales was really just three cartoons in one.
However, they didn't need to do the other two cartoons today and the Director was so happy with the first one that he released everyone home early.
Everyone dashed out of the room and the Tom and Jerry Crew walked to the exit.
As they walked, they looked around at the various other buildings and sets. A 'What's New Scooby-Doo' cartoon was underway in one building, while a 'Looney Tunes' cartoon was taking place in another one.
They passed the DC Comics set and Spike cringed as Batman waved to him with a smile on his face.
Jerry raised an eyebrow.
"You know Batman?" Jerry said.
"Don't ask" Spike said as they slowly walked out of the building.
- end of chapter -
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Well, not much happened in this chapter. Nothing significant, anyway. Seeing how the last three chapters went, I just gave up on giving a plot to this chapter and just made it the random insanity that you readers have grown to love this story for.
Since I have exhausted my funny bone on this chapter (it's not easy to come up with good jokes and gags that are funny and not horribly overused), I have decided to take a small break from this story.
I don't know when I'm going to update next. I should probably start focusing on my other fanfics (I have a Beyblade fanfic that I have been neglecting. Not to mention my Tiny Toon Adventures story).
Not to mention the fact that school is starting up again and we all know what that means…
PS: If any of you have any scenes, suggestions, or jokes that you will like me to put in this story, PM me and I will be happy to take them (yeah, I am now accepting private messages on my account).
So, make sure to review (aw, Viscount Edmund Allenby hasn't reviewed my last two chapters like he/she usually does. It's only been two chapters and I'm already missing him/her.