Good grief! I am so frustrated with the Tom and Jerry Archive! I mean, do you know how hard it is to find decent Tom and Jerry fanfics that aren't Yaoi? This is ridiculous, outrageous, and unheard of! THIS IS INSANE! I JUST WANT TO SCREAM, I'M SO FRUSTRATED!

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… I needed that. Sorry for losing it people. I just wish that someone would put a decent fanfic in this archive. So then, people can get a taste of a good Tom and Jerry fanfic, without having Tom and Jerry as a homosexual couple.

Jerry: Why don't you like reading Yaois?

Dude, I'm male and I'm straight. Why do you think I hate it?!

Jerry: Sorry. That was a stupid question.

Seriously, the amount of people that have made good fanfics in this Archive can probably be counted with the fingers of my own two hands. I just wish someone would make something decent. (Author starts to cry). All I want is a good TaJ fanfic. Is that so much to ask?!

Spike: Well, if you're so desperate for a goodTaJ fanfic, then why don't you make one yourself?

(Gasp), good idea, Spike! I should make my own TaJ fanfic. One that's not Yaoi! (Laughs evilly), and they thought I was crazy, but I'll show them! Yes, this will be the Ultimate Tom and Jerry fanfic in HISTORY! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Butch: Um… Saucely Kazzy Carton does not own Tom and Jerry or any of its characters…

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Insanity Chapter 11: Family Reunion Part 1

Cartoon City was experiencing some good weather. The sky was blue and the weather was perfectly warm. A small wind flew through the air and gave everyone a nice, cool breeze. White, fluffy clouds floated in the sky, and the sun was shining brightly down at the people of Earth.

Thanks to this wondrous weather, the whole town was feeling quite happy and joyful, which was an interesting contrast to the residents of the Tom and Jerry Mansion, who were very miserable and depressed.

The reason: a certain young little pup who, at the moment, sounded very much like an out of control police siren.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Tyke's scream of happiness shook the house from top to bottom, waking up everyone in the mansion.

Tyke ran around the house with an excited squeal, jumping up stairs and hallways, and cabinets, and chairs, and walls, and anything else that was or wasn't nailed to the floor.

Of course, the items that weren't nailed to the floor instantly fell down and broke the moment that Tyke jumped off of them, but that was a different story.

Obviously, the two landlords of the house weren't happy about Tyke's screaming.

The first landlord, Jerry Mouse, yawned as he walked out of his room with bloodshot eyes.

Normally, he'd already be awake by now, but it was Saturday and he usually slept in.

But at least he was doing better than the other landlord, as Tom Cat literally burst through the door and fell to the ground, leaving a Tom-shaped opening in his door.

Muttering several curses, Tom picked himself up and rubbed his tired eyes. He walked to the stairs, but apparently, his tired brain had miscalculated the distance of the stairs to his location. This led to him falling down the stairs rapidly. By the time the cat hit the floor, he was half-unconscious and still very sleepy, giving him the appearance of a zombie.

If he wasn't very sleepy and mostly annoyed, Jerry might've laughed at the ridiculous sight of Tom falling down the stairs and landing flat on his face. Instead, the little mouse just sighed and rubbed his eyes once more.

Tom glared at nothing in particular as he was struggling with coming to terms with the fact that he had fell down the stairs.

At least Butch wasn't around to see that.

"Gah…" Tom groaned as he closed his eyes, trying to fall back asleep.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Tyke screamed and Tom growled in irritation.

When Tom's brain woke up, his first coherent thought would be somewhere along the lines of boiling Tyke in acid.

Jerry just groaned, looking anything but ready to face the next day of his sad little life.

Meanwhile, Tyke's screams had waked the other two occupants of the Mansion.

Butch yawned as he walked out of his room in irritation. He was having a very nice dream about himself and Tootles. Just when the dream was about to get good, Tyke began screaming and Butch woke up. So, of course, the black cat was not in a good mood.

Spike, all too used to his son's antics, walked out of his room peacefully. Aside from Tyke, he was the only one in the whole mansion that had a smile on his face.

Apparently, he had had a good night as he slept with his teddy bear (thankfully, it wasn't THAT kind of sleeping. That would just be weird… and gross).

"Morning, Butch" Spike said with a smile.

Butch blew raspberry with his tongue at Spike.

He wanted to stick his middle finger in Spike's face, but the author wouldn't allow that as this was a K rated fanfic and it would send the wrong message to children. So, he settled with blowing raspberry instead.

"Go to hel-" Butch stopped as the author suddenly appeared with a frown on his face.

"I mean, go to helicopter city!" Butch corrected in fear of the all-powerful author.

The author disappeared.

Butch grumbled as he continued walking.

Spike chuckled.

"Looks like somebody's having a bad morning." Spike said.

"Well, I wouldn't be if it wasn't for your gosh-darn son!" Butch said.

"Cut him a break. He's just happy that his friend is coming over." Spike said.

"What's that have to do with anything?!" Butch asked.

"Well, he's a six year old and he's living with a rather dysfunctional family of adults…"

"Hey, we're not dysfunctional! We're as normal as normal can be!" Butch said as he absentmindedly chewed on a tennis shoe (nope, nothing abnormal about that!).

"So, don't you think it would be nice if he could play with friends his own age that aren't crazy adults? Not to mention the fact that Tuffy is Jerry's nephew so it's not like we don't know him" Spike said.

"I suppose you have a point. But I'm still bitter." Butch said.

Butch walked down the stairs and the sight that greeted him almost made him burst out in laughter.

Sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs was Tom who, at the moment, looked very much like a zombie. Not to mention the fact that he had fell asleep and was now snoring.

"Aw, look at him. He's just so cute when he's sprawled out at the bottom of the floor. Someone get me a camera!" Butch said as he poked at Tom's head.

Tom opened his eyes and growled, "Butch, the best way to live longer than the next few seconds would be to stop touching me and to get the heck out of my face!"

"Well, good morning to you too sibling!" Butch said.

"Shut… the heck… up!" Tom growled.

Butch smirked.

"So, mind telling me why you're taking a cat nap at the bottom of the stairs?" he asked.

"None of your business, brother. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a pup to kill!" Tom said as he got up from his position on the ground.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Tyke screamed in more excitement as he ran around the room.

"Gah," Tom grabbed his ears, "Would you clamp it!"

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"Tyke, calm down." Jerry said.

"How can I calm down when Nibbles is coming over?! I'm so excited, I could scream! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Tyke shouted.

"Tuffy won't be coming over if you don't shut your ugly trap!" Tom said.

Apparently, these were the magic words as Tyke instantly calmed down. Now, he just settled to running around the room really fast. With the sound of Tyke's footsteps ringing in his ears, Tom growled in anger.

It was too early in the morning for this. He needed his coffee.

The cat headed for the coffee machine that was in the kitchen so he could make himself some fresh, steaming coffee… only to find that his coffee machine was on the floor and it was broken!

This drove the cat over the edge as he reached in the drawer, took out a gun, and began firing out the window in anger. Clearly, he was uncaring of the fact that his window would need repairing afterwards.

"You have serious anger management problems!" Jerry said and Spike knocked the gun out of Tom's hand.

For a minute, Tom said nothing as he closed his eyes.

Then, he spoke in a low, threatening tone, "Who… broke… my… coffee machine?"

No one answered. Spike looked confused, Jerry was nearly angry, and Butch was smirking. Tom turned to Butch.

"What are you smiling about, dirt monkey? Did you do this? Speak!" Tom said.

"First of all, you don't need to insult everyone you address. And if you HAVE to insult people, at least make sure they're good insults. Dirt monkey? Who says that?" Butch said.

Tom angrily grabbed the remains of the coffee machine and threw them out the window in anger.

Butch shook his head.

"Honestly, sibling, you need to do something about that temper of yours. It's going to get you in trouble one day. Anyway, I didn't touch that coffee machine of yours. But who cares? If it's broke then it's broke. It doesn't matter who did it." Butch said reasonably.

Tom growled.

"Look, Tom. I'll buy you a new one, okay? Just calm down and drink something else this morning." Jerry said.

"How about I make you some health drinks" Spike asked.

Tom punched him to the ground before walking out of the room.

Butch walked out the door so he could check their mail. When he came back in, his arms were full of letters.

"Geez, how long has it been since we checked our mail?" Butch asked.

"About… three weeks." Jerry said.

Butch put all of the letters on the table in one stack and began to sort through them. Spike sat down next to them with a fruit smoothie in his hand. Jerry was helping Butch with the mail. Tyke was still running around. Tom was sitting in his armchair while scowling at everything.

Most of the letters were just fan letters from people who loved the Tom and Jerry cartoon. Others were days or even weeks old and most of them ended up getting thrown in the fireplace.

Butch was sorting more letters out when he saw something that looked pretty recent.

"Hello, what's this?" Butch asked as he picked up a recent letter that was addressed to him and Tom.

Tom noticed the letter in Butch's hand.

"What the heck is that?" questioned Tom, staring at the letter with his green emerald eyes.

"It's," Butch examined the letter, "an invitation to our family reunion. Apparently, we're invited to a gathering of the Cat family and we're going to have a big family reunion. Oh, and Meathead and Lightning sent their greetings."

"Hmph, those two can jump off a cliff for all I care" Tom said.

"Meathead? Lightning? Who are they?" Jerry asked.

"Our two other brothers." Butch said absentmindedly.

Spike spit his fruit smoothie into Jerry's face and the mouse fell off the table and hit the ground screaming.

"Two 'other' brothers?! What do you mean 'two other brothers'?!" Spike asked, trying to come to terms with the fact that Tom and Butch had more brothers.

Jerry climbed back on the table.

"I mean, they're me and Tom's siblings. What, you didn't think that we were the only siblings of the Cat family?" Butch said.

"Well, gee, how many siblings do you have?"

"About six. Or maybe eight. I kind of forgot." Butch said.

Spike spit his fruit smoothie into Jerry's face again, and the mouse was knocked off the table and he hit the floor.

"You have that many siblings?!" Spike asked.

"Oh, the pain…" Jerry groaned from his position on the floor.

"Well, yeah. Hold on, I think I have a photo album in here somewhere…" Butch began looking through some cabinets and drawers.

"Okay, here we go." Butch took out a big photo album.

Jerry and Spike gathered around Butch to look at the photo album. Tom scoffed in disdain before losing his interest in the conversation, and Tyke was still running around with the excitement of seeing Nibbles.

"Okay, you see here. These are all of our siblings." Butch said.

"Hey, I think I see you. That is you, right?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, that's me. And this is Tom; he looked so cute when he was four years old."

They looked at the picture of Tom as a toddler. He had a blue cap on his head and a big smile on his face. Actually, if he was older, Tom would've looked more like the "Tom" he acted out on television. It must have been the smile. Modern Gothic Tom never smiles…

Jerry pointed to another person.

"Who's that?"

"Oh her, that's our sister, Ariel Cat. She was always the smart one. She was the one who always thought things through before doing them and she also received the highest grades. She was also pretty strong. She always beat me and Tom in arm wrestling competitions." Butch said.

He turned the page.

"And hey, look, here's a picture of me, Tom, Meathead, and Lighting during our graduation." he said.

He pointed to a picture of Tom, Butch, Meathead, and Lightning. They were wearing graduates clothing and they were all smiling except for Tom, who stared at the camera with his typical frown.

Butch turned the pages.

"And there's our mother, right there. And over there is our bratty little triplet brothers" he said as he pointed to a picture with three young cat triplets with big innocent smiles on their faces.

"Don't be deceived by them. They look like Mommy's Little Angels, but they were the worst behaved kids in the house. Always got into trouble and blamed me and Tom for their messes. One time, they almost burned the house down" Butch said.

"Gee, they sound like Tyke." Jerry said.

"Oh, they're worse than Tyke. Most of Tyke's follies are either accidental, or because he doesn't know any better. These three kids go out of their way to cause any trouble they can on purpose." Butch said.

"Yikes" Jerry said.

"Yeah, they're really bad kids." Butch said.

"I sure hope Tyke never starts trouble like that…" Spike said.

Tom scoffed.

"It's way too late for you to be saying that."

Butch turned to Tom.

"Don't you have a dark corner that you have to sulk in right now, Mister Gothic?" Butch asked.

"Drop dead!" was the only reply he received from his gothic sibling.

Butch smirked. How he enjoyed getting on his brother's nerves. And if this family reunion was really happening, that meant more brothers and a sister to irritate as well.

"Hey, Tom. Let's go to the reunion!" Butch said.

Tom turned his head, "Excuse me?"

"C'mon, it will be fun! Wouldn't it be nice to see the family again?" Butch asked.

"Hah. Better for you, maybe. Personally, I'm better off without my crazy family to deal with." Tom said.

"C'mon, they can't be any worse than the crazy family you're dealing with now and on a daily basis! C'mon, I want to go!"

"Then go. I'm not stopping you." Tom said.

"But it won't be as fun without you…" Butch pouted.

Tom rolled his eyes.

"Oh, so I'm 'fun' now?" Tom said.

"You know what I mean!" Butch said.

Tom growled.

"Why do you insist on pestering me? I don't want to go, so drop it!" Tom said.

"Not until you say yes." Butch said.

"I would sooner eat grass"

"Alright then, sibling. You've forced my hand!" Butch said dramatically.

"What are you gonna do? Beat me with a stick?" Tom said sarcastically.

"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of messing around with those gothic artifacts you have in your room…"

"You wouldn't!" Tom said, looking horrified as if he was about to witness bloody murder.

"Oh, I would too. I might put graffiti on them, color them in bright neon pink colors, and ooh; maybe I'll throw them out the window and watch them break!"

"You'd be dead before you could accomplish that."

"I wouldn't even attempt to accomplish this if you would just agree to go to the reunion with me!" Butch said.

"I… said… NO!" Tom said.

Butch groaned before thinking of a new strategy.

"Please?" he asked pathetically.

"No"

Darn, that failed fast. On the other hand…

"Please? Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, pretty please with a scoop of strawberry ice cream with peanuts, whipped cream, and a cherry on top? And a-"

"ALRIGHT! Alright, I'll come with you! Just stop yelling! I get enough of that from Tyke" Tom said while holding his ears.

Butch smirked.

Then, Jerry spoke up.

"Actually, I kinda want to come to this family reunion too. I want to meet your family." Jerry said.

Tom and Butch gave him a surprised look.

"Really? You want to meet our family?" Butch asked.

"Sure, why not?" Jerry said.

"Well, what about Tuffy? Since he and Tyke are on a one-week vacation from school (Something I wish I had. Good grief), they're going to be around the house for one week. Who will watch them?" Butch asked.

"I will." Spike said.

Butch gave the dog a skeptical look.

"This family reunion will only last one day, right? So go on and go. I can handle two kids for one day, so go on ahead." Spike said.

"Are you sure?" Butch asked.

"Sure I'm sure. Go on. I'll be fine." Spike said.

"Okay then, I guess we better start packing if we're going to head to this family reunion of yours." Jerry said.

Right then, the doorbell began to ring, indicating that someone was at the door.

"I got it." Jerry said as he walked to the door.

After unlocking the door (he needed a pair of stilts just to reach the door lock. Darn, mice are small), Jerry opened the door to reveal his sister, Janet Mouse, and her son Tuffy 'Nibbles' Mouse.

"Hey Jerr" Janet said as she waved to his brother.

"Hey Jan." Jerry said.

"Uncle Jerry!" Nibbles came from behind Janet's legs and hugged Jerry.

"Hey Nibbles" Jerry said as he called Tuffy by his nickname.

Tuffy and Jerry hugged each other while Jan watched in amusement.

"What's up, Jan?" Butch said as he nodded to Jan.

"Hey Butch! Hey Spike! Tyke! … Tom." Jan referred to the last member of the group coldly.

Tom regarded Jerry's sister with a cold look before turning his gaze away from her.

"Why are you always so cold to Tom, sis? He might be a bit mean but he's not a bad guy." Jerry said.

"Yeah, we know my brother has his… issues… but he's really a fluffy and loving sweetheart on the inside." Butch said.

"I wish to bring death on all of you!" Tom declared.

"Right…" Jan said, "Well, anyway, I gotta run. There's a meeting I have to attend to. Take care of Nibbles! He's your problem now!" Jan said with a smirk before walking off.

Jerry waved at her before closing the door.

He cracked his knuckles before turning around.

"Well, guys, I think we have a family reunion to attend to." Jerry said.

- end of chapter -

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Saucely Kazzy Carton (SKC): Well, one more completed chapter.

Jerry: I'm impressed. I didn't think this story would last more than 3 chapters at first.

SKC: I didn't either. To be honest, I almost had writer's block after chapter 3. But, I pulled through it! (Throws hands in the air).

Butch: 11 chapters of Insanity, eh? That's pretty impressive.

SKC: Thank you! Thank you! But, I can't take all the credit. After all, Dark Fox Tailz partially helped me come up with this idea. Both in a review and a PM. And Dark Fox, don't worry, I'm still trying to put in that fight that you wanted.

Spike: Hmm, if only all of the reviewers would send in their ideas. Then this story would go on forever!

SKC: It's not their fault, Spike. Many of them just don't have as many good ideas as I do. After all, I clearly have the best imagination here. SKC is number 1! Oh yeah, I am awesome, awesome! Yeah, I am awesome, awesome! You know I'm awesome, awesome!

Butch: Okay, dude. It's only 11 chapters. Don't let it get to your head or anything…

SKC: I am amazing! I am the best FanFiction writer EVER!

Jerry: Um, I wouldn't go THAT far…

SKC: Maybe instead of the FanFiction archive, they should call this the Saucely Kazzy Carton Archive! Every FanFiction writer will answer to me!

Jerry: You're getting a little too egotistical…

SKC: Maybe they'll name a mini-mall after me! Or better yet, a maxi-mall! Or a planet! I'll bet they'll name a whole galaxy after me!

Tom: He's lost it…

Jerry: Seriously?! How can you be so full of yourself that you think they'll name a galaxy after you?!

Butch: Yeah! If anyone's deserves all the glory, it's ME! After all, I am the best character in the whole Tom and Jerry Universe!

Jerry: …

Tom: …

Spike: …

SKC: Whoa, dude! You're getting way too egotistical!

Butch: WHAT?! How can you possibly say that?! You're the one who talked about getting a galaxy named after him a few moments ago! This is HYPOCRISY! I won't stand for this!

SKC: (…Your mom stood for it…)

Butch: I heard that! Come here, you!

SKC: Uh oh…

Butch: (Is chasing after the author)

SKC: (Panics before running out of the house)

Butch: (Is following him, determined to give him a beating)

SKC: (Climbs up a fire escape)

Butch: (Climbs up after him)

SKC: (Jumps off the roof before Butch could catch him)

Butch: (Witnesses the author committing suicide!)

SKC: (Lands on a pile of balloons before running off with laughter)

Butch: (Sees him and follows quickly)

SKC: (Is running but then trips on a soda can)

Butch: (Catches him and throws him off a bridge with a very long drop to a pool of acid)

SKC: (Is in pain…)

Tom: …

Jerry: …

Spike: …

Tootles: Okay, I know I'm not in this chapter but I might as well say this since the author is a little occupied right now. Please review and if you do, I'll give you some cookies. And no, not THOSE kinds of cookies for you perverts out there. You know who you are!