Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

III.

- Touch -

He was generally confused within the first seconds, but then the frustration hit him like a wave and robbed him of his ability to breathe. He only recognized the lack of breath when a growing pain appeared in his chest and was forced to take a deep breath. Then swallow down. His mind was blank for a long period of time, but he figured he had to say something. Her hero? He's never been anyone's hero before. What was that like? In what sense did she mean that?

"Are you ever going to tell me your name?" He blurted out, in the end, and backed away a bit, afraid that he must've come closer than anticipated.

Who the hell says something like this? He ruined everything. She's been a neighbor for so many years and he hasn't even noticed. Not once. How could he not notice such a graceful creature? There was adoration in her eyes that he's not seen anywhere else, adoration for… him, like his presence was important for her. Such a strange sensation that was.

"Sorry, I'll keep you in the dark a little more." She chuckled, hands in the back as she stepped to the door and opened it. Then she reached for his hand and pulled him inside again. "Do you not notice you're soaking wet?"

Iruka woke up as if from a dream and snapped back to reality, glancing back at the closed door and then to his clothes. Then to her and then away from her. Warmth darkened his face and he pretended that he wasn't as embarrassed as he was actually feeling. Not that it helped.

"Do you wanna come to my bedroom?"

His shock only deepened at the sound of those words and he convinced himself it was because he was tired. It was not the first time he's overheard something. Maybe it was the lash of the loose electric wire outside the apartment. The wind often whirled strong at this side of the village and the wires created that scary sonance.

"Iruka."

"Sorry, what?" He blinked at her.

She brushed her short wet hair backward nervously and her eyes couldn't find the strength to hold his anymore, looking down with some sort of reconciliation.

"You have someone waiting for you at your apartment?"

"No. No, no." He assured her quickly.

Her vivid turquoise orbs were fixed on him again and he shivered, unsure whether it was the coldness or her powerful influence on him. It felt like nothing he said or did was by his own will now, he went with the flow in the last few minutes. There was something mystical about her that kindled his curiosity, but he was somehow too afraid to wade deeper. He met her just now.

"Do you think you could spend the night with a complete stranger like me? Would you take a risk like this?"

Spend a night with- Iruka turned pale and leaned back on the door.

He couldn't believe what she was doing. He knew people did that all the time, he knew why people did it, but he's never imagined himself in such a situation. He never thought anyone would notice him in the first place. Also, his knowledge on the opposite sex was quite limited so he never even tried to win anyone's affection.

His personal life was like his apartment – he knew it was messed up and he always promised to himself to fix it and tidy up, but he never actually ended up doing it and instead he got used to the chaos and the fact that he'd never have the time or the willpower to change it, at all.

There was a chance for him to fix that bedroom for once, but the fear in him was just massive. She was absolutely stunning and such a pleasure to the eye and he was just the most ordinary, casual person there ever was. Oh, no.

"You seem… surprised. Am I not," She enveloped herself as if she was suddenly cold, "attractive enough to-"

"It's not you, you are perfect!" Iruka came off the door, stopping her from finishing. "It's…"

It was so awkward that he thought that maybe it'd be best for him to just leave and be done with this. But a part in him just wished he could have her. It was a senseless, blind part that was tucked in that corner of his mind he rarely needed. Just like all overwhelming states of emotion and desire, he tended to avoid them in order to save himself the trouble.

But it was so damn unfair that he never allowed anything like this to himself. He's never broken a rule in his life, but nobody cared anymore so there was no point in trying to keep his foundations now. There was this one unsettling thing, though. She was everything he had ever imagined as attractive, but…

"It's… me."

He battled the shame, nearing her slowly.

"You don't mind… scars?" Iruka looked at her for a second before escaping her gaze again. Looking at her has become gradually difficult. "I've got a few more on my body, I'm just making s-sure you… are aware. I mean, some people-"

"What planet are you coming from?" The girl laughed quietly. "Because scars are sexy from where I come from."

"So," Her low laughter sent a dizzying wave through him and he made a little pause, "it's fine?"

She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into a kiss, her tongue invading his mouth eagerly and he almost sagged under the whole psychological pressure she exercised upon him since they met, despite that he towered her by at least five inches.

"I know this is weird to you." She breathed out, backing away a bit with a desperate expression and glassy eyes. "But I have been in love with you for so long, you have no idea."

"And you are…?" He reminded, using his even teaching-voice and succeeding in making her chuckle.

"Emina. Nice to meet you." Her hands wrapped around his neck and she leaned her forehead on his. "I wish you could feel the happiness I feel right now. I wish you knew how irreplaceable and needed you are."

"I will be honest with you." Iruka made a dramatic pause, strictly focused on her lips. "This is really confusing to me."

"When was the last time someone hugged you?" She asked, withered with sadness.

Iruka looked up to her eyes in surprise and remained still for one long moment. Hugged him? Well… that was an easy question. He took a breath, but his mind betrayed him and he was left hanging again, in awkward silence. Tiny teardrops formed in the corners of her eyes and he tried to back away, the fear in him taking over as she released her hold on him. He felt like he was hurting her, whatever he did.

"Uh, yeah. Yesterday. I hugged Naruto." He announced forcibly, to cheer her up; then the sentence resonated wrong again and he hurried to fix it. "Naruto hugged me."

He watched her without moving, frightened that he might've messed up and upset her even more. A tear fell down her cheek as she looked right into him, with her silent sorrow, and he knew that she did not believe his perfunctory lie because he's always been bad at lying. She really cared for him, didn't she?

Emina reached for his hand and slightly pulled him closer, giving him a pointed look. Then she leaned in, brushing her lips against his.

"Touch." Emina whispered shakily, her hands sliding up his chest and along the line of the kimono rim until it reached his shoulder and tugged it slowly downward, baring his skin. "Remember what that feels like?" Her icy fingers slid up again, while her body was pressing against him mildly, and brushed through his hair, removing the cord that kept his hair in order. He couldn't help but flinch at the intrusive motion and barely suppressed the urge to push her away.

Half-fear, half-discomfort twisted his features when she backed away to admire what she had done, but they discarded a bit when he noticed the look in her eyes. Something like a combination between admiration and lust that dried up his mouth.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him backward, to a door at the other side of the room, and he thought that it was frenzy that obsessed her, but then she stopped, with her hand on the handle and her eyes searching his.

"Do you trust me?"

He was not sure.

He was not used to anything she offered, he did not know all the ways of showing and receiving affection and feared that he'd fail, but there was so much hope in those eyes. She was fearless, determined and affectionate; all the things he was not at this very moment, and whatever kind of a person she was didn't really matter to him as long as she understood that he wouldn't be able to reply with the same.

She was well aware of this – it was written all over her face – and that's why he could afford to take a leap of faith, with a nod of his head.

Burning. That was all he felt at first. Devouring fire of sensations. It was nice in the beginning, as the bubbly feeling of a tickle; his stomach tumbled over and over again and he couldn't decide whether it was nausea from the tension of his nerves or the unknown comfort of a foreign touch, then it turned torturous and maddening. The sheets were soft beneath him, but she made it hard to focus on anything else but her – above, with her darkened blue-green gaze and that lace that he had not expected to like as much.

The usual night terrors clenched and fettered him, he could not fall asleep, despite that his body was aching with tiredness. Maybe it was the unfamiliar presence, maybe the bed that he wasn't used to. It was usually not as bad when he was at home. He hoped they'd leave him alone soon.

Surprising even to himself, he did not feel comfortable with all those things she tried. So he asked her to lay back instead… just to try the feeling of it. It was confounding and frustrating and intense, but then she complied, allowing him to loom over her and take a good look at her body… the way her hair spattered on the pillow, the way she breathed and her chest heaved up and down, the way she had opened up invitingly, even though she did not know him at all and the way she looked at him, ready to comply with anything, just to make him feel like he belonged. It all clicked together in his mind then.

He snapped awake, his breath coming sharp and shallow. The desperation was so sure and so true in the images he last saw that he accepted them as a reality. He was there again, an apparition among the fallen and the ones who still fell under the shade of the great demon. It was hopeless, all of it. He sought the flicker of a flame, the saving silhouette of the fire shadow that swore to protect the village. Where was he when the people needed him?

It was all right now. To kiss her down as much as his deprived soul desired, to feel the concentrated pleasure her body allowed, the wetness, the softness. She chanted quiet words in his ear whenever she found herself able to pierce through the series of moans and he was convinced that velvet course was the most soothing weave of sounds he's ever heard. It did occur to him that she might be this loud only to make him feel better – his terrific wariness of her delicate body and the pain he probably caused were in no way equal to the amounts of pleasure her folds granted him, but then she laughed breathlessly, commanding him to stop apologizing for everything.

It was still dark when he finally got a hold on his thoughts and fell asleep. It was another scenery this time. Darkness crawled over the village and he saw it all as if from above, without being able to protest or make a sound. The villagers were sullen and harsh, and sorrowful, as if something had happened. Konoha… the streets were hung with black symbols and every door and fence was repainted. Days of mourning. The hour was still dark when he awakened again.

He felt her shudder harshly when he moaned the first time and it did only clear up to him now that his voice affected her so deeply. She liked it. More than his desultory touching, pulling, pressing or kissing. The language of her body was eloquent and unostentatious, she was open and kind to him, her fingertips tracing his skin with a finesse that eased him immensely. Her tips stopped at the carved scar in his lower back not once, the one he received by saving Naruto when he was too young to know better, and wandered off just as elegantly and tenderly as they did before.

"No, please-" He begged, his voice a tormented whisper in the silent darkness of the room. His heartbeat quickened painfully and his chest felt so heavy that he could not take a breath. He only cared to calm his breathing then. Something that he couldn't manage, being within a frenzied struggle. The horror of that very notion was momentary, he knew Naruto was alive and well at the moment he woke up, but the afterglow of this dream was even worse than the last one.

The need was overwhelming him, pushing aside every thought he had running through his worrisome mind, but there was a small particle in him that wished he could remain buried and hidden like that. Wrapped up, covered and safe. He wondered if other men have felt that way. It was probably him only. The chase was relentless and enhanced second by second, much to his regret, and he couldn't capture the moment, couldn't capture the trice in which his breath hitched and stumbled, and then dissipated with a release that collapsed his system altogether.

"It's alright."

Her voice frightened him at first, but then she lazily nestled against him as if she's always belonged there and slid her hand under his and up to his shoulder blade calmingly, pressing their bodies together. Among the relief and the warmth that enveloped him, he couldn't help but feel a sting of guilt… did she wake up every time he did?

"You've seen more battles than you should have," She mouthed, her warm breath tingling the skin on his neck, "it's alright."

What did he do to deserve such a reward?

Where did that girl even come from?

Wondrously, the next time he woke up it was already bright. There was some sort of faint glow coming from behind the curtains and the air was almost crystallized. No doubt, it was snowing. The thought came to him before any other, thankfully, and for one long minute, he was calm. Then the inconvenience stormed his mind and he tensed, realizing the presence of another one next to him.

Iruka instinctively detached himself from her and backed away in horror. The warmth sadly disappeared due to the distance he created between them, but that was not the main issue now. It was that Emina woke up as well, with a few blinks of her eyes. His heart spasmed with a mixture of dread and awe – she was terrifically beautiful like that.

She seemed to have caught the change in the atmosphere because a shadow crossed her face and she heaved up a bit, slightly furrowing with worry.

"Are you alright?" Emina spoke out, hoarsely, and trying her best to heave up a bit, despite her sleepiness.

He was going to break her heart in pieces.

The realization hit him like a lightning bolt and he almost panicked, trying to gather his scattered thoughts together. Which resulted in a shaking of his head.

"No. Not really."

Emina slowly sat up and pulled the sheets close to her body.

"If you're hungry, I'll make breakfast." She said, but her tone suggested she only tried him, she wished to see how far she could reach and he was convinced she hoped he'd comply. Truth was, he couldn't. The very notion of this, the image of it… how did he allow himself to be so careless?

"Listen, I should not- I don't know what's happening."

"What do you mean?"

"I feel like I have to… to pay you in some way." The change in her features forced him to heave up to a sitting position with his hands defensively up. "Wait, no, I meant like- I didn't mean it like y-you… I'm sorry. Really sorry."

She bit her lip, filled with confusion.

"Iruka, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? I can't just accept…" He felt a lump gradually forming in his throat. "I must go. I shouldn't be here."

Then another pause of thick, hurtful silence. Her eyes blurred as the moment extended and he could swear the sight caused him some kind of physical pain.

"Nothing of this is your fault. I just feel so…" Iruka stopped, staring at her helplessly. There were more fitting words that he could use and that were convenient for his situation, but they just did not come to his mind. "Please, give me some time to think."

Emina looked at him for a while, as if estimating the situation. Then he lips formed a half-smile and she nodded comprehensively, squeezing the sheets in her fist. She was not happy with his decision but attempted to place herself in his shoes which he appreciated grandly.

Iruka tentatively neared her and she followed his movement, eyes meeting his without giving away anything of what she felt or thought. Her eyes glazed emptily, like marbles, and he saw, in a glimpse, that he had robbed something of her, something that she wouldn't just retrieve again. It was not a state he could put into words, it was a flash, an insight. The guilt that he experienced was not of shame or regret, it was of something else that he hasn't exactly figured out yet.

"Thank you."

"Why do I hear I'm sorry, Iruka?" She laughed quietly, her free hand tracing the scar on his face playfully. "If I had been given the same choice from yesterday five more times," She paused, her fingers this time traveling up to brush loose locks of hair, "I'd drag you to my bedroom every time. I know it sounds wrong, but it is what I wanted."

"I hurt you." He said, backing away from her with the only intention to selfishly not damage himself by looking into her eyes. Then he started dressing up and looking for his hair cord absently. "Despite that you act like I didn't. You're not a one-stand type of a woman."

"You're not a one-stand type of a man either."

Iruka gathered his hair, trying to ignore her as his eyes searched for the waistband of his kimono, finding it soon enough.

"Stay."

"I can't." Iruka tied it on his way to the door. "It's not right."

Emina scoffed.

"What's not right, being happy?"

"Taking advantage of people." Iruka cleared up, meeting her eyes for the last time before leaving. He wished he hadn't.