Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

IV.

- Broken Things -

Terrible, terrible, terrible mistake.

He nailed in a kunai dagger into the wall with full force and cracked the paint in all directions, but the dagger, surprisingly, remained in place. He glared at the crack without shifting a single nerve.

What the hell was he thinking? He wasn't thinking… Yes, he was. How awfully selfish and childish of him. Was he sixteen or something? All this training of the mind he did, all that confidence and trust he had in himself, that he was reliable and was able to make conscious, good decisions, everything crumbled down. He had neither self-control, nor he had changed that old, pathetic identity he carried once.

What a failure.

She felt so good, though.

Dammit.

He had to leave the apartment right away and occupy his mind with some useful things, like he always did. What was today more different from any other day? It's not like he hadn't done stupid things before… But now his failure hurt not only him. His failure affected another person and he had to find a way to fix it.

Fixing something like this was like trying to catch the wind – nothing actually worked. He did not understand anything of women, which was a great starter, and also one of the previously mentioned species proved to be able to bend his will like it was nothing. He had gotten weaker, that was it… what bothered him. Right?

Iruka stormed out of his apartment (practically five minutes after he entered it) and headed down the main alley and strode along the line of shops that were less busy than usual. Perhaps the nipping cold was keeping most villagers inside their houses. His eyes skimmed over the line of the roofs absently and rested on the Hokage Rock in the distance.

On the other hand, he was feeling guilty. Odd, since he was the one seduced. Something happened last night and he felt like he's been a completely different person since she started talking with him at the Cemetery. It wasn't weakness that bothered him, no. It was something else entirely, but he had the feeling that the answer lied in the same place it all started.

He made a few familiar turns before stopping in front of a bright-colored shop with wide windows and festoon-like floral decoration.

There was probably some heater turned on because he was met by warm air full of exotic scents and it nearly dizzied him upon entering. The golden bell at the door rang out to announce his presence and he saw Ino's head raising up, torn from her previous occupation. She was in a pink dress with buttons and a scarf, sitting behind the desk, seemingly consumed in the making of a crimson bouquet of roses.

"Iruka-sensei." Ino greeted, pulling at the red ribbon with the scissors to make it curly. Her voice, though, was just soaked with curiosity and a badly concealed bewilderment.

Iruka stilled at the door, wondering whether it was a good idea to come in the first place, but then he thought it was worth it so he had to at least give it a try. The variety of flowers was so staggering that it was downright frightening. Fortunately, he knew exactly what he was looking for. Still, Ino had decorated and ordered everything perfectly, he had to admit.

"Lady of the heart?" Ino asked, with a dramatic pinch.

"Sorry?" Iruka's eyes tore away from the winter jasmine and looked at her.

"Lady of the heart. You have one?"

"I can't say that she is." Iruka smiled at her. "At least not in the classic sense of the phrase."

"Oh… forbidden love, then?" Ino bit her lip, clipping the ribbon in place.

"Impossible." He corrected.

"One-sided?"

"Definitely."

"Taken?"

"Oh, yes. Can't compare with him. At this point, I am convinced that he…"

"Is possessive, but you know she's not happy with him?"

"Would've been terribly disappointed by me." Iruka finished, fazing her, and his gaze fell on the jasmine again.

Ino froze completely for a moment. Then she left the bouquet on the counter and stood up, meeting his eyes.

"My deepest apologies, I thought you talk about the living."

"I like to think they are so." Iruka shrugged. "Somewhere else. And they're happier."

"I'm sure they are." Ino sighed, scanning him from head to toe. "So… do you know what you want? I can help."

"Winter jasmine."

"Can I ask?" Ino left the counter, glancing at him on her way to the said flower.

"Mother's favorite. They're for her." Iruka clarified. "Always kept a bouquet in the kitchen. She was… always so organized."

"Yeah?" Ino smiled widely, sadness gleaming in her eyes as she prepared the flowers in a bouquet paper.

"My father was pretty chaotic, though. I have taken after him."

Ino chuckled and handed him the ready bouquet, accepting his money with a quiet thank you. As he thought about it, she must have turned into a skilled listener thanks to the thousands of stories people came to her with. The job was practically requiring the exact amount of charisma and tact Ino had. It suited her.

"My condolences." She said when he turned to leave. "And take care, Iruka-sensei."

He left the flowers on the stone, passing a hand over the engraved names.

The scenery somehow appeared more calm and clear to him now, in the daylight. Some sort of contentment was flowing through his veins; a sort of odd, inexplicable ease that came with the atmosphere of this place. He was past the revolt and the storming ache of loss and mourning long ago, he had made a peace treaty with fate and was not surprised by anything thrown his way anymore (or at least almost anything).

The weakness of his inability to accept his fate was redeemed by the sacrifice of his pride and then he learned the right way, gradually, painfully. The act of allowing, of giving a chance to whatever it was that he feared would hurt him, opening his heart to it and participating.

Naruto was his most important lesson and he learned a lot from and with him. Patience, most of all. But forgiveness too, strength of character, responsibility. Growing up without parents was the nightmare he did not wish upon his worst enemies, much less to the little boy he met many years ago.

He knew that whatever monster Naruto had inside of him, he was the master of it… his impression of the world around him could become the reason for the state of his inner world. Bitterness could grow into pain and pain into anger and his anger – into massive destruction. And opposite, love could save him from the fears and help him win friends to erase the loneliness. Love was the one thing that helped him control that beast as well and now…

Iruka smiled.

The village truly did become Naruto's family. And for that, Emina was wrong. He never regretted those nights of starvation or those days of penury, he was glad they existed because they were his investment. And more importantly, they didn't exist out of any obligation. Everything he did for Naruto came from his heart and his heart only.

It really helped him, the serenity of the Cemetery – he could think everything through. They didn't start the way they were supposed to. He was supposed to take a more responsible approach to the matters, despite that her fondness of him was true. It was in her touch, the way she kissed and caressed. Their meeting was doomed from the start, as he thought about it further.

What kind of a relationship starter was this place? People usually met in cafѐs, didn't they? Truth was, he really needed the attention she poured onto him. It didn't occur to him that all that lack of closeness was something that he'd miss. But still, that was a completely wrong start. So he had to fix it.

He reached for the bouquet and pulled out a single flower.

Maybe she was too pushy, maybe he was too dramatic, but it seemed to him that there was hope for something more between them. Even if that was based on the plain pretext of not being lonely. That was not a bad foundation at all.

He mentally thanked his father and mother for being, indirectly, a part of this new opportunity. Another door of his heart he had to open. Iruka only hoped he hasn't dealt irreversible damage because on his way out of that apartment he really felt like it.

He knocked on the door for the second time and there was no answer. The third time got him thinking about turning back and leaving her alone. No sound came from the other side. Why wouldn't she…? The door yielded with close to no pressure when he tried to open it. It wasn't locked after he dashed out earlier.

"Emina?"

She wasn't in the living room. Was she even home? Could she be still… in the bedroom? It was past noon. He slowly pushed the already ajar door wider and was relieved to see her lying there in the first second, but then he was ripped with a heartache that surged through him like a lightning bolt.

Her body, although now dressed in a thick cotton two-pieced nighty, was curled around the sheets and slightly trembling.

Iruka stepped back.

Was he going to do more harm by trying to talk with her? Positively. He made another step back, but it echoed clearly and she turned sharply, then forced herself to sit up, slightly holding her head. Her eyes were reddened with tears.

She looked so frail that it stupefied him for a second.

Iruka walked to the bed timidly, thinking over the things he had planned to say, but now they didn't sound convincing to him at all. He slowly kneeled, feeling her eyes burning a hole in him as he put the small box, with the jasmine flower on top he carried, carefully in her lap.

"I was so sure you won't come back. Ever."

"I was so sure I would." Iruka gathered the courage to look up at her. "Emina, listen, If I had learned anything… in my life, it is-"

"That nice things just won't happen to you so it's good if you get used to being miserable and living on your own as early as possible?" Emina finished his sentence grimly.

Iruka inhaled and exhaled slowly, his eyes never parting hers.

"That nothing comes for free. I am accustomed to giving in-in return so… I will feel like I-I've used you if you don't accept my gift as well." He pushed the box to let her know what he meant. "Blue. The blue…" Emina waited patiently as he made attempts to form the sentence fully. His mind was completely blank so he tried to figure out a synonym. "I saw on my way in last night… The broken thing you keep on your kitchen counter. I bought you one that is not broken."

"I keep it there because it's broken." She gave him a bitter smile. "I like broken things."

Iruka could only endure her gaze for a second before lowering it with inconvenience. He felt warmth rising up to his face when he realized she was not really talking about the vase.

"Don't feel like you've used me, Iruka. I wanted you to do it." Emina took the jasmine flower absently. "But I wanted you to stay as well. I knew it was too much to ask… since we don't know each other at all."

"I am not a really interesting person, you know," Iruka admitted, making her chuckle. He slowly sat on the bed next to her. "I don't know what you want me to stay for."

"I told you." Emina moved closer and wrapped her hands around his, head leaning on him lovingly. "You are my hero."

Iruka looked at her and she laughed at his utterly frightened expression.

"Why did we do everything backwards?"

"Because you're too well-mannered to bed me and I am too impatient to wait." She murmured breathily. "I don't know."

Iruka remained silent as she pursed her lips, deep in thought.

"It just felt like the right thing to do. I didn't feel like a slut yesterday, but I feel like it now." Emina met his eyes, on the verge of losing her seriousness.

"I didn't feel guilty last night either, when I was actually supposed to." He said, with a pause in which they looked at each other. "We are so weird." Then they burst into laughter.

"You bet we are. I never thought we'd first meet at a grave." Emina leaned her forehead on his, speaking quietly.

Iruka was distracted by the closeness at first but then he noticed her fingers trembled. A shadow passed across his face as he backed away and took her hands in his, to inspect them closely.

"Don't worry, it's nothing. I think I might've caught a cold or something." She sighed. "I feel dizzy and feverish the whole morning."

Iruka dropped her hands and stood up from the bed at lightning speed, the very idea that came to his mind after her words made his heartbeat increase fiercely. The color from his face disappeared.

"Iruka, calm down, I drink pills and stuff." She barely explained before bursting into another fit of laughter.

"How are you sure it is actually a cold?"

"It is a cold. I'm sure." She raised a hand as if swearing that her words are true. Then she slightly tilted her head, curiosity gleaming in her eyes and lips curved into a mischievous smile. "I don't know why you're acting like this. You'd be such a great dad."

"I'm leaving." He turned to the door and almost ran his way out, terrified to the marrow of his bones.

"Wonderful, wonderful dad."

"You don't know that!"

"Can I have your babies, though?" Emina shouted out after him, giggling at his sharp No! from the kitchen. "Iruka, are you still there?"

His reply came after a prolonged pause, but it did come nevertheless. "Yes."

Emina raised a brow, relaxing back on her pillow and pulling the sheets closer. Her eyes slightly blurred with a tint of sadness as she looked at the door. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making you some tea. You're ill."

She smiled, but her eyes filled with tears she tried to brush off with her sleeve.

"I was supposed to take care of you, not the other way around!"

The silence extended and she started to wonder if he would comment on her words. She started picking at the peeling skin on her cracked and dry lips as she waited with anticipation.

"I only feel useful by making people rely on me." His voice came quieter as if he was not trying very hard to be heard from her. "I don't know any other way to interact. And," He paused again and she abated her breath, "you know well that living alone forces you to look after yourself, which is hard."

Emina suppressed the urge to speak out, letting him finish his thought.

"Neither of us won't be able to yield that trait entirely to the other and let it become a burden. So I have a proposition." Iruka showed up at the door and folded hands. "We'll take care of each other equally."

She sighed.

"Fair enough."

The End

A/N: Iruka is so important to me, I really wanted him to have company and be happy. Hope this fill up the gaping lack of fanfics about him. Anyway, thank you so much for reading, loves, it means a lot to me! I wish you the happiest of holidays and if anyone feels lonely, you're free to message me, I'll be around.