Sonic & his friends walked up one final set of stairs and into a special visitors' center, where the lifers were waiting for them.
Before we begin, let's see how they felt about meeting the lifers:
"They don't really scare me, I guess…" replied Silver.
"I think it's going to be absolutely fabulous to meet a bunch of thieves!" said Rouge.
"I ain't worried, ya know…" said Sonic, "'cause if anyone talks jive to me, I'm gonna jive 'em right back, see?"
"Why should I be scared?" said Tails. "I mean, with Sonic by my side, I know there's not much to be scared of!"
The visitors' center they were in was painted a pale green color, with the usual unpainted floor. Entering the room, there were a few tables to the right, with some folding chairs set up before them. The chairs were set so they were facing towards the left of the room. Here on the left was a group of bleachers where the lifers sat. Above the bleachers, a slogan was painted on the wall: "IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO MEND". The room was flanked by a couple of backstage areas as well. Sonic and the group took their places.
PRISONER #62391
AGE: 33
SENTENCE: 25 YEARS
CHARGE: ASSAULT AND BATTERY
DATE OF BOOKING: 2/25/X9
After everyone was seated, prisoner #62391 was the first to speak. A black man with a shaved head, he wore a tan jumpsuit and black shoes, the standard prison uniform.
"You here for two hours, that means you belong to us for two hours!" said #62391. He then held up some cards. "Everybody see these cards?"
No one responded.
"Everybody see these muthafuckin' cards!? Listen here: When a man's up here speakin' and asks a question, he want an answer from all y'all! Now do everybody see these cards?"
"Yes," said the kids.
#62391 walked over and handed the cards to Sonic. "Take one and pass it down, kid. I want ya to see 'em all!"
Sonic looked at the cards. Each one had a mugshot of an inmate, their name, date of birth, charge and sentence. When he was done with a card, he put it at the bottom of the pile and looked at the next card. However, just when he was about to see the next card, #62391 walked over to Sonic and smacked the cards out of his hands.
"Muthafucka, what did I say!?" exclaimed #62391. "WHAT DID I SAY TO YOU, MUTHAFUCKA!? Now pick 'em up and look at 'em right!"
Gasping, Sonic wasted no time in picking up the cards. I couldn't help but jump myself.
"Come on, pick up them god damn cards!" ordered another prisoner.
Just as Sonic was about to look at the cards again, #62391 took them from him briefly.
"You look at all them cards, clown!? 'Cause if I have to tell you again, I'm a-come over there and break your fuckin' neck! Now did you see 'em all!?"
"N-no…" replied Sonic.
#62391 shook his head. "Man, what the fuck is up with this!?" he exclaimed. "Sit up straight! SIT UP STRAIGHT, MUTHAFUCKA! LOOK AT ME! WHY THE FUCK IS YOU LAUGHIN'!?"
"I-I-I wasn't laughin'…" said Sonic.
#62391 sighed in frustration and handed back the cards. "This is the last time…the last fuckin' time, man! Don't be gettin' on my fuckin' nerves, aight!? You look at a card and ya pass it down when you done with it!"
This time, Sonic followed the correct procedure and passed a card to Tails after he was done looking at it. Tails, in turn, passed it to Knuckles, who passed it to Amy and so on and so forth.
"Look at all them muthafuckas!" exclaimed another one of the prisoners.
"I show you them cards for one reason," said #62391, "To show you that we ain't no social workers, no counselors, no probation officers, no priests, no doctors, no ice cream men, no football players, no astronauts, no musicians, no software engineers, no motocross bikers, no Jedi Knights or no police! We are convicts! Every man you see right here in this program is doin' at least 25 years to life, so y'all ain't come in here and change nothin'! Now is that understood?"
"Yes," said the group.
"One more thing: When a man's up here speakin', y'all better keep your eyes on that man at all times! That means if that man catch you lookin' at that wall, or that floor, or that ceiling, or that door or somethin', he feel as though you be chumpin' him off! And when ya chump somebody off in prison, you gotta deal with the consequences…and we can get very physical up in this bitch! So we can get this started, right?"
No one responded.
"I asked ya a question!" #62391 walked over to Shadow and got in his face.
"I ask ya again, I'm a-come over here and break your fuckin' neck, aight?" said #62391, softly.
"You couldn't," said Shadow.
#62391 raised his voice. "Oh, really? You wanna bet, muthafucka!?"
Shadow had his arms crossed. "I am the Ultimate Life Form. I don't gamble!"
"Man, you got a real punk-ass mouth! I oughta beat you into the fuckin' floor right now!" #62391 held up a fist.
Shadow was unmoved. "You're boring me! Please continue with your speech. You did say we could get this started."
"Yeah, well we can do this all fuckin' day, man! If them muthafuckin' guards weren't around, I'd rip your punk-ass mouth right outta your face! Now, you ready to shut it!?"
"Fine…I'll shut up." I thought I saw Shadow mutter something else, but I couldn't read his lips too well.
"Now, we can get this started, right!?" asked #62391. "I want an answer from all y'all!"
"Yes" responded the visitors.
"Oh, and one more thing: You best remember what these muthafuckas tell you today, because the life you save just might be your own!" #62391 then took his seat at the bleachers.
If the look on Sonic's face and those of his cohorts was any indication, then I knew this was going to be a new experience for them.
PRISONER #01124
AGE: 44
SENTENCE: LIFE
CHARGE: B&E, ASSAULT AND BATTERY
DATE OF BOOKING: 7/2/X0
Prisoner #01124, a white guy with short black hair, a mustache & a goatee, had the floor now.
"Let's get one thing straight from Jump Street," said #01124, "Ain't nobody here to entertain you clowns!" He approached Shadow. "You got a problem, man!? You come in here like you own this fuckin' place and…LOOK AT ME, MUTHAFUCKA!" Shadow, who had been rolling his eyes in disdain, returned his gaze to #01124. "Now, you wanna impress these bitches with how tough you are!?"
"Why should I?" retorted Shadow. "I don't care about any of them."
#01124 turned back to the rest of the group. "Now see, that's the problem with you punk-ass bitches! Look at yas! You got all the opportunities in the world right now! You got a bunch of people out there who love ya! But youse don't care about all that, because you're about rippin' 'em off! You sit here and you seriously believe you ain't never goin' to prison!? Well, look at me! I been in this stinkin' cesspool for 10 years, and I ain't never thought about goin' here! In the 10 years I been here, I've seen thousands of guys come through these walls, and I ain't seen a goddamn one who wanted to come here! But you people with your shitty games, you seem like youse just askin' to come here!"
Shadow's gaze was drifting again, so #01124 stepped over to him.
"Go on, keep tryin' me, jerkoff! Keep tryin' me, man!" #01124 gestured to one side. "GET UP, muthafucka, you think you're so tough! GET OUTTA HERE, MAN!"
"You're starting to annoy me," said Shadow.
"Yeah, well how do ya think I feel, punk muthafucka!?" said #01124. "Get outta here if youse gonna be a wiseass!"
"'Wiseass'? That's it! I've had enough from you!" Shadow got out of his chair and readied his fists.
"You wanna do this the hard way!? Then let's do it!" #01124 also prepared for a showdown. However, three guards stepped in before it went any further.
"All right, break it up! BREAK IT UP!" ordered one of the guards. He turned his focus to Shadow: "You, kid, come with me!" He led Shadow offstage. The other guards returned to their positions, watching the lifers carefully. The other lifers made a few comments, such as: "I should go over there and kick his fuckin' ass!" or "What a smart-ass muthafucka!"
Meanwhile, another lifer, a grayish-green wolf, got up and gave an order to the visitors: "Come on, move my line in nice and tight! Move the fuck over, man!" Rouge slid over to the seat once occupied by Shadow, and everyone to her left slid down one seat.
#01124 calmed down a bit and went back to center stage. "All right, I'm gonna tell you muthafuckas what it is in prison! At 6:30 AM, there's the wakeup. You only got about half an hour to clean your cell and yourself! At 7, the guards do the counts. If they got every man accounted for, they let you out for breakfast. Once you're done chowin', ya better have all your utensils on that tray! If that's good, then they send you off to work. We got a bunch of shops 'round this prison. You know how in the movies and the TV, they show those guys stampin' the license plates? Well, we got that here, too! But don't think of tryin' anything funny here 'cause those guards are watchin', checkin' to make sure ain't none of youse is makin' weapons or tryin' to escape! At 11:25, they do another count, and then they give youse half an hour for lunch."
Unlike Shadow, the rest of the kids had no problems paying attention to #01124's speech. It was harsh, but they seemed to get the importance of it.
"…When you're all done with lunch, ya go back to your cells for another count. Again, if there ain't nobody missin', then it's back to work. At 3:55 PM, the guards do another count, and if that's good, they let you into the yard for exercise. At 4:55, they got another count, and at 5, they give you half an hour to shower up and then another half an hour for supper. After that, another count at 5:55, and at 6, they let ya go for special shit such as religious services, counseling or shit. At 8, everyone goes back to their cells and they do another count. At 10, it's lights out, and not only will the guards do a count by then, but also a coupla times during the night, so don't think about pullin' any of that Escape from Alcatraz shit! In fact, a lotta those prison movies are bullshit!"
At this point, Shadow returned. "Let this dummy sit down, man!" said another prisoner. Rouge & everyone moved over to let Shadow sit down.
"…but if there's anything that them movies got right, it's this: We got sexual desires! Now, I'm sure some of youse guys got girlfriends, right?"
Not all of the guys responded to this query, but a few did.
"And youse gals got boyfriends, right?" queried #01124. Again, not all of the ladies responded, but I could see that at least a few of them responded affirmatively.
"See? We're just like you!" said #01124. "We're humanoids! We're made of flesh & blood!" #01124 turned his attention to Knuckles. "You, wiseguy, take a wild guess: when we got sexual desires, who do you think we get? And don't say 'each other'!"
Knuckles put his hand on the side of his head. "Uhhh…"
"Well, who?"
"Uhhhhh…each other?" Knuckles shrugged.
"Wrong answer, McFly! We get young, dumb muthafuckas just like you! Like I said, I been in this stinkin' joint for 10 years, and I'm gonna die here…and if they gave me this sexy little bitch right here…" #01124 pointed to Rouge "…I'd skip over her ass and all these other broads just to get the one tender young kid like him!" He pointed to Silver. "It ain't just me, there's a buncha guys in this joint who'd do the same thing!"
Some of the other lifers responded with comments like, "Mmm-hmm, yeah!" and "God damn, that's hot stuff!"
Silver shrank back in his chair, terrified by that prospect.
"That's just how it is here," said #01124, "and if youse guys keep releasin' those shitty games with their fucked-up controls and everything, that's how it's gonna be for youse too! Let me tell ya somethin' else: One day, you be layin' in your cell, thinkin' a bunch of things like how's your mama or your papa or whoever, when four guys slide into your cell, wrap you dumb ass up in that blanket, knock you outta that bed and do bodily harm to your asshole by stickin' a dick in it! And I don't care how tough you are or how tough ya think you are, somebody's gonna do it to you eventually!
Now, I'm gonna give youse five options you can take, and ain't none of 'em worth a goddamn Eggmanland token! One: You go to one of the guards, and you say 'Hey guard, four guys just messed me up!' Then ya come back with the guard, you say…" He pointed to various prisoners. "…'that black guy, that hedgehog, that white guy, that black guy.' Now ya see these guys that messed around with you? They might be goin' in the hole for 30 or 60 days, but after that, they'll be back in population! But see, the warden & the administrative guys can't leave you in population, because those other guys or their associates will splatter your dumb ass on the floor! Down here at Driscoll, we got this place called 'PC', meaning 'Protective Custody', not 'Personal Computer' or some bullshit like that! Except we call it 'Punk City' down here, and it don't matter how long your stretch is, that's where you'll spend all that time! They lock you up for 23 outta 24 hours, and they give ya an hour for exercise.
Now two: Some of youse tough guys, when ya get ripped off, you're gonna wanna get even, get revenge. Now the best time to jack somebody is on the mass moves, with over 1,500 bad muthafuckas movin' like a herd of sheep to the yard, or the mess hall, or the shops or whatever. So you're packin' a shank, maybe a screwdriver, some glass, or a toothbrush or any of that shit and ya go in the yard, and ya see one of them guys who ripped you off! So you pull that little ace outta your sleeve and ya stick 'em…" #01124 mimed a stabbing motion, "and when ya stick somebody, ya kill 'em! Now, any of youse wiseguys know how much time you're gonna get for killin' that dude? Anybody?"
After a moment or so, Tails finally answered, "Is it a life sentence?"
"That's right, they're gonna give you life!" said #01124. "Not that they give a rat's ass about the dude you wasted, or about you, but that's just how it is! There ain't no such thing as gettin' even in prison, and that brings us to three: When you get fucked in the ass, maybe ya decide you ain't talkin', but it don't work that way here! Ya know them four guys that fucked you? Well, they got associates, and they're gonna come for your ass, and then they got associates too, and they're also comin' for your ass! And if ya get some food or a little gift from home, somebody's gonna swipe that shit from you, and they're gonna keep doin' shit to you!
Now this brings us to number four, and this one right here is what youse gonna take: In my 10 years, I've seen this millions of times! You walk around this joint or any other joint ya might go to, and you're gonna find the real quiet one! He ain't bothered nobody and ain't nobody bothered him! He's the king of his own fuckin' world! So you go over to this guy and you tell him: 'Hey man, I gotta problem; can you help me?', and if he says 'yeah' after ya give him the rundown, it ain't but 5 minutes later like he told all those 1,500 dudes not to bother ya! So you says to yourself: 'Hey, this guy ain't half-bad! I don't gotta worry about nothin' no more!' WRONG! That guy just told population that you are his bitch! And when you become some guy's bitch, here's what ya gotta do: You gotta get him his coffee in the mornin'! You gotta clean his cell! You gotta wash his clothes! If he wants ya to give him head, you're gonna give it to him! And if he wants to fuck you in the ass, you're gonna let him! But if you tough guys tell him, 'Nah man, I ain't gonna do that bullshit!', you just told him, 'Kill me, man!', and he's gonna do that!
Finally, number five, and this one happened just yesterday: You probably heard this one 'cause youse all read it in the papers, or maybe saw it on the TV or the internet or somethin'. Some young guy, he didn't mean to release a shitty game; he was just havin' a fun time, but he wanted to have even more fun. So he added a bunch of new features, but see, when he added all those features, his dumb ass forgot to check for bugs and shit! Then some little old lady bought this game for her grandson, and he was havin' fun until the game froze and made a loud noise, so this lady had a heart attack and died! Now this guy didn't just get booked for robbery; he got a murder rap as well! Know what else? The judge didn't give a fuck that he was just 14, or that it was an accident; he just got fed up with that guy's ass and gave him life right here in Driscoll!
It ain't even been a week before that dumb shit became somebody's bitch! He only went half a year before the stress of livin' in this sewer pit got to him! Then he took his sheet, tied one end to a pipe, tied the other to his punk-ass neck and he hung himself! Now he don't gotta do this life shit, he don't gotta put up with the guards or with these other muthafuckas! They just carted his ass off in a body bag and dumped him in the ground! And when they buried his ass and put that fuckin' grave over him, they didn't put his name, they put his number! 'Cause that's all youse people are in prison: A fuckin' number! Now, it's plain to see his life was lost 'cause he was cold and his body swung back and forth, but now his eyes sing that sad, sad song of how he lived so fast and died so young!
It ain't just him; look at me!" #01124 motioned to himself. "I started drinkin' with friends, havin' a good time and shit, but then it escalated! We started drivin' around, breakin' into people's houses and shit, and now look at me! You think I'm lucky? Well don't, 'cause it could happen to you! Like, if you started smokin' a joint here and there, pretty soon youse gonna be sellin' kilos of smack or somethin'! Or maybe youse sell a game with a few graphics glitches and next you're sellin' unplayable bugfests! But apparently, this is what youse clowns want! Hey, I don't give a fat fuck what youse do when you leave here today, but know this: When you get here, I show ya better than I can tell ya!"
#01124 returned to his spot on the bleachers. At this point, I wondered to myself: How much worse can this get? What else could the lifers do to scare the kids now that they've gotten a very clear picture of life in prison? We were about to find out…
Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.