Chapter 10: Don't Regret Me Like the Tattoos On My Skin...

a/n: This goes back when elsa was eighteen, and belle was still with her.

next chapter: belsa smut

It was late during the night, having to feel the warmth of my lover's arms hugging me. The moon shined behind the curtains, and I hadn't realized how serene the night was. It was dark in here… and that was the only source of light shining against our skin. We laid bare together, my head against her chest, her fingers sending delicious tingles down my spine. The blanket covered us, but it wasn't the warmth I wanted… incomparable to Belle's.

Belle never seemed this quiet before. I kissed the top of her chest and gazed up at her. She was spacing out.

What is she thinking…?

I couldn't get a grip of what she was thinking, but I knew she was too much in thought to realize that I'd called her name.

"Belle…" I breathed, shifting my bare body closer to her. I tilted my head with curiosity.

Finally, she was staring at me, smiling. "What?" she whispered, planting a chaste kiss on my forehead. Could she be thinking about me? "Am I hurting you?" She removed her arm from my shoulders. But my subconscious was anywhere but where she was touching me.

I knew what I wanted… and Belle would give me anything to make me feel as if I was hers. I knew I was hers…

"No." I grasped her hand and let her run her fingers down the line of my naked scar. I savored every little bit of her wondrous touch, drinking in her gaze dry. I eased out a sigh, finding myself nuzzling against the crook of her neck. I shut my eyes, and all I could see was that little girl with copper hair silently staring back at me. Shivers ran down my back as I remembered the sweet voice that called out for me… the screaming and gasps that parted the two of us.

It was a scar… and Belle had tried her best to mend me back together.

Snowflake...

"What's wrong?" she questioned.

"Nothing," Blue eyes met with hers. I took a deep breath. "Tomorrow, I want to get a tattoo."

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh? Where?" She sat up against the headboard.

"My shoulder."

The amused expression turned sour, and she let me go immediately. Her eyes were hard on me, burning with alert. "Why?"

Just one word, and I was already feeling uncertain about myself. I couldn't help but push myself up, hugging the blanket over my chest. Seeing her gazing at me like this, I felt more naked than ever. What could've been love between us… was nothing more than a blanket to keep me warm and comfortable.

At the age of eighteen, the desire to forget… to find the comfort that I wanted was all coming from Belle and I. The idea of her… it was so riveting. So warming. To have her accept me for who I am… to put me in her arms… I fell in love with the idea of her.

It was… an abusive relationship that I had taken comfort in. Gods…

Perhaps, falling dangerously in love was something I just loved to do.

I turned to her with a stiff expression. "I don't want look this ugly."

Ugly, was it?

She remained silent, but I found her twitching from my response. "Your scar…"

I let my fingers caress the soft skin of her cheek, brushing below her eye. "I don't want to see you giving me that look every time we do this." I paused, and leaned close to her, gazing with desire at her lips… Just one kiss. "I don't want… to see you hesitate."

Abruptly she pulled back. "I hesitate because I love you."

I tilted my head, blue eyes growing dark at the sight of her. It felt like a punch in the stomach… but perhaps, she was just trying to be good to me. My throat felt constricted with a lump of hurt, my mind clouded and brainwashed by Anna. The name was horrible to say.

"You hesitate because you think I'm fragile," I replied boldly. And I knew, I couldn't deny how weak I felt. "Will you be there for me…?"

And will you love me?

It was emotionally exhausting, physically tiring… I stared into the mirror. Blue eyes stared back at me, skin paler than snow… and I let my fingers trail down the black ink that covered my shoulder. Though I couldn't reach my back, I felt another pair of fingers tracing the ink.

It'd been days since Belle and I had gotten ink on ourselves.

Belle stood behind me, another arm wrapped around my waist. She pressed a kiss against the nape of my neck. "Do you like it?" she whispered.

I grinned and placed my hand atop of hers. "I think it's more of an emotional coverup than whether I like it or not."

"Hmm… I like it." She giggled, and I let myself gaze at her reflection, seeing her eyes over my shoulder.

"I'm glad you do." Turning around, I laid my arms around her waist, bringing her flush against my body. I was safe and sound in her arms, having her lips pressed against mine. Her fingers circled the small of my back., sending me shivering with delight. She seemed content with what I did, feeling her smile warmly against the kiss. And I was satisfied… somehow, relieved from all that I had in mind.

Except for one thing…

She'd pushed me down in bed, her legs straddling my waist. She smiled, fingers climbing down to caress my abdomen. I sighed, finding my hands holding her hips. "Belle…" I couldn't figure out why I was smiling, my eyes darkened with want… body trembling in her hold. No, not yet.

"Belle, I want you to do something to me."

She raised her eyebrows. "What's that?"

How could I say this without making it sound strange? I looked up into her eyes, finding nothing but love. I wondered if I ever deserved such affection. "I… hurt me."

She blinked. Once. Twice. Perhaps, I shouldn't have asked that. "Why?"

"Please…" I gasped out. "I… I want to know what it feels like. To be her. To know how she… dealt with this."

Belle didn't say anything, gazing at me as if she knew what I had in mind. I was bare for her, vulnerable to her… and she could do whatever she wanted with me. I got to surrender myself… submit myself to her touch. The anticipation was killing me. "Please…" I whispered.

Her eyes roamed over my body, blackened with desire… and perhaps, she lusted for me. Slowly, she pulled her shirt over her head, a single red rose imprinted on her right hip. Oh god…

My heart was pounding, prompting my chest to heave up and down impatiently.

"Be sure about this," she breathed, bending on all fours and she held my hands… entwining her fingers between mine. She held me in place, her lips ghosting to the top of my shoulder. I shut my eyes, writhing with pleasure from her teasing lips.

The rush of heat was overwhelming me…

I could feel her smirk against my skin, my ear between her teeth. "Belle…" I moaned.

"Not yet, Snowflake…" she teased, sitting up on my stomach. If I wanted to… I could just flip her over. But I didn't let myself to.

With her hair falling over her shoulder, her gaze cold and distant as she looked down to my body… she was so beautiful. Her fingers rid down my arms, resting them on the top of my chest. It was agonizing… almost unbearable to see her like this. So hot… so tantalizing.

I sighed with desire just from her look. "Oh, Belle…"

"Just once… We'll do this just once," she replied. "And if you-"

"I'm not weak."

She gritted her teeth. "Fine. But just to make sure… safeword: snowflake. Got it?" She raised her eyebrows filled with expectation. And she knew already I'd say yes without me telling her.

Immediately, I let out a gasp in surprise as she held my wrists together above my head. I could feel her hot breath brushing against my skin. I was delighted… spiraling out of control with need.

Belle was hovering above me, and I was nearly panting at the feeling of her peppering kissing meeting the hot skin of my sensitive neck. I whimpered, but I couldn't let her know how pleased I was… how… hurt I was.

"Stay where you are… and get on all fours, beautiful."