PRISONER #91893

AGE: 26

SENTENCE: DOUBLE LIFE

CHARGE: RAPE, ARSON

DATE OF BOOKING: 7/24/X7

#91893 was an orange-red hedgehog who had somewhat disheveled quills and a few scars on him. It also appeared as if something was wrong with his right eye.

"That shit ain't funny, right!? Shit is real in here, man!" He was more "in your face" and charged up than the other prisoners. Heck, he even got in my face a few times.

#91893 pointed to his eye. "Yeah, look, they took my muthafuckin' eye out! Do y'all wanna go to prison with me!? Do y'all wanna be in here with a crazy muthafucka like me?!"

Sonic and his friends said "no".

"Well, then stop sellin' people fucked-up video games, muthafuckas!" shouted #91893. "This ain't no Six Flags Great Adventure! We don't get no tickets to come into this muthafucka! Fact, ya get too many muthafuckin' tickets out there, you come to this muthafucka, and then I get all craaaaaazy on ya! I'm in here for muthafuckin' EVERYTHING, man! They call me 'Everything Charlie'! I'm in this muthafucka for rape! Multiple rape! M-multiple arson! I BUUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNNN!"

#91893 eased up on the craziness a little, but still got in our faces. "But fuck what's happenin' to me! It's what happenin' to juveniles that we concerned about!" He held up a newspaper. "Look at this! This is bad! Girls beaten and raped, even in juvie! Don't you girls wanna be like them!?"

The ladies said "no".

"Yeah see, you don't wanna be with no crazy-ass bitches, man!" said #91893, who went up to Blaze and pretended to kiss her. "I kiss you! Ooh!" He did the same with Amy, Rouge, and any other ladies in attendance. They, like the others, leaned back in their seats, trying to stay away from him. After calming down a little, #91893 focused on the rest of the group and held the newspaper back up.

"Look at this!" exclaimed #91893 "They talk about gettin' tough on juveniles! They say if you commit a crime like an adult, they gonna send you to an adult prison! Now, I'm gonna tell y'all somethin' called 'Rules to tha Muthafuckin' Game': Do you know that you get seven years for breakin' into somebody's muthafuckin' house…five years for loiterin' in a muthafuckin' drug zone…nine years for havin' a fucked up control…fifteen years for not fixin' the muthafuckin' glitches…twenty years for stealin' a muthafucka's French fries…or ten years for singin' off-key!? Huh!? Do you know that your ass will go to death row or get 25 to life just for bein' a muthafucka with a muthafucka that commit a muthafuckin' murder!? Do ya know that!? No, 'cause y'all don't care, man! Y'all wanna be in the cell next to me…or even with me!" #91893 went over to Silver and knelt down in front of him. "I suck dick in this muthafucka! Every day!"

After getting up, #91893 focused back on the rest of the visitors: "That last speaker told the muthafuckin' truth, man! We was juveniles once just like you! Except we didn't get away with nothin'; we here! Look at me! They stabbed me all up in the muthafuckin' front & back, split my muthafuckin' head right open & everything! How tough could I have been!? And you got that fucked up attitude ya wanna be like me!" He turned his attention to Sonic, Tails & Knuckles for a brief moment and said: "I tie all your muthafuckin' shoes together and make you walk down the aisle!"

#91893 then turned back to the rest of the kids: "You ever see a muthafuckin' toy robot? Look at us; that's what we are! Except they don't plug us into no electricity! They don't use no muthafuckin' batteries! They make us move by bells! I hear so many muthafuckin' bells that even when they don't ring, I still hear 'em ring! That's craaaaaaazy!" #91893 walked over to Shadow, fist clenched. "Yeah, that's how that shit goes, man! If I bust you right in the muthafuckin' jaw, you think the po-lice give a fuck!?"

"Probably," replied Shadow.

"Probably!?" said #91893. "Why!?"

"Well, I'm the Ultimate Life Form, so somebody cares about me."

"Man, fuck no! I got so much muthafuckin' time they can't give me no more!" Then #91893 walked over to the pile of shoes in the corner. "Show me your shoes, muthafucka! Which ones are yours?"

"The white, red and black hover shoes" replied Shadow.

"This one right here?" #91983 held up the same shoe that Shadow described.

"Yes."

"This is how I think about y'all!" #91893 threw Shadow's shoes on the ground. "I fuck you in the fuckin' ass! Go home barefoot, muthafucka!"

Shadow had an angry look on his face. Nevertheless, he remained reticent.

Meanwhile, #91893 walked back over to Sonic's friends and returned to his usual in-your-face routine.

"Everybody in prison got a number," said #91893, "so you muthafuckas is goin' to have numbers, too!" He walked over to Blaze, who was seated all the way on the left, towards the door they came through. "Until you leave here, your number is 1," Next, he walked to Silver, and repeated the process, "…you 2, you 3, you 4, you 5…what's your number?"

"5", replied Espio.

Rather than continuing forward, #91893 walked back to the person sitting to Espio's left, a brown hedgehog whose name I didn't get.

"What's your number?" asked #91893.

"4" replied the brown hedgehog.

"What's your number?"

"3" replied a red-and-blue hedgehog.

"What's your number?"

I thought Silver replied "2", but I couldn't hear him. #91893 yelled "WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER!?"

"2." Silver spoke up louder this time.

"What's your number?"

"1" replied Blaze.

"All right, now kick it all the way down!" said #91893. "What's your number? Kick it out!"

"1" said Blaze.

#91893 walked down the line and repeated the process.

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

"6"

"7"

"8"

"9"

"10"

"Shadow the Hedgehog"

#91893 shook his fist at Shadow. "Man, I will turn your muthafuckin' teeth upside down! I've been locked up a real long time, so don't fuck with me! Kick out your number, man!"

Shadow sighed in contempt. "11"

The rest of this process continued smoothly. However, #91893 also went up to me, expecting me to have a number. Not wanting any trouble, I said "18". He turned his attention to the whole group and continued:

"And I want you to have that same muthafuckin' number when you come in this prison 'cause I'll be squattin' on ya! I'm craaaaazy like that! Them people that brought you here today, ya think they make the kind of money that they make if they sell people those shitty muthafuckin' games y'all been shellin' out!? Listen to me! Y'all can make the same kind of money so easy it's craaaaaaaaaaazy! Go to school! Learn history! Find out what the other guys got right and how y'all can improve your muthafuckin' selves! See, 'cause a broken camera ain't gonna tear down that 30-foot wall! A jacked-up difficulty ain't gonna tear down that 30-foot wall! But an education just might tear that muthafucka down!" #91893 returned to the bleachers.

Remember when I said that Sonic and his friends feared #02294 the most out of all the prisoners? Well, I'm not so sure about that now because they seemed to fear #91893 just about the same. Still, in the words of #09693, we would never want to meet anyone like them.

Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.