A/N: Wow...eight weeks on and not a single review? I'm sad. Personally, I thought this story would generate more controversy than it did. I mean, I didn't post this story just for the sake of generating controversy; I did it as more of a "what if?" sort of thing. Nevertheless, I am going to have another "Hedgehogs in Prison" story next year, so stay tuned...same Truck-time, same Truck-channel!

PRISONER #11146

AGE: 34

SENTENCE: 27 YEARS

CHARGE: JAYWALKING

DATE OF BOOKING: 6/23/X1

Prisoner #11146 was the last prisoner to speak today. He was a blue rabbit with a yellow stripe on his head.

"Listen, kids," said #11146, "we don't get paid for doin' this. We don't get no parole, no good time, no nothin'." He seemed to be the calmest of all the prisoners, but there was still a little something burning inside of him. "We do this because we wanna. A bunch of those guys in the yard, they even laugh at us for doin' this! But you know what!? We still wanna do it, because we wanna help kids like you stay on the outside! We really do! All y'all kids is too young to come to prison! I been here 18 years, and I regret every fuckin' day I been here! Man, when that TV come on and, uh…McDonald's or somebody come on with a…a Happy Meal or somethin'…man, fuck that Happy Meal shit! I ain't been happy since I got here! Listen to me! Y'all got the best opportunity in the world 'cause ya got to talk to some muthafuckin' convicts! Don't give no excuses, man, 'cause I done run out of those!

Stop wantin' to sell bad games, 'cause there ain't no future in sellin' bad games! Stop wantin' to gangbang! All the gangbangas are dead, in jail or got AIDS! Look at me! They call me a criminal; I can't shake that title! I try to tell 'em I don't do crime no more; I can't shake it! You gotta be a fuckin' fool to go down the same path we went down! Sometimes, there'll be eight of them guards, and they say 'calm down!', and I say 'I wanna fight!' And they pull out a TASER, and I still wanna fight! And then I get shot with a TASER, then I get kicked with a boot, then somebody elbow me in the back of the head…and then I get up and I still wanna fight! And then I step on a Lego…and then I start cryin'."

#11146 returned to the bleachers with his fellow lifers.

With today's session concluded, Sonic and his friends got their shoes, said "thank you" to everybody and were led back outside.

Outside, I decided to get everybody's thoughts on their experience. Rather than asking them directly, however, I decided to walk with them and listen to what they had to say.

"Man…that was heavy," said Sonic, hand on his forehead. "I've been locked up before, but it wasn't as bad as that! If I could go to prison 'cause people don't like my video games, then I seriously gotta do some thinkin'!"

Tails held on tight to Sonic's arm. "Sonic…I don't want to go away! I promise I'll never do anything bad again!"

"It's OK, buddy!" said Sonic, "We ain't gonna go away as long…"

Then, Amy grabbed Sonic's other arm tightly. "Ohmigosh, Sonic, don't let me go away please! It's so horrible!1! I don't want to die in prison!"

"Easy, easy!" Sonic wrapped his arms around Tails and Amy. "It's all over now! As long as we listen to our fans and don't rush things, we're solid! I mean, it's like those guys back there said, we got potential, baby! I'll always believe in you guys, and I know you'll believe in me! I promise I ain't goin' anywhere!"

"Thanks, Sonic!" said Tails. "You're the best!"

"Totally!" said Amy. "You're cute!"

While Sonic, Tails and Amy were embracing each other, Knuckles had something to add:

"Man…I always thought I was a tough guy, but after having those prisoners yell and scream at me, I'm not so sure anymore. If our video games really have gone downhill, then maybe I should go talk to the fans a bit more often and get to know them better!"

"Ah, I could take on a lotta those guys!" exclaimed Vector. "Except maybe that big dude, uh…Nick, was it? But hey, I'm no criminal, so if they want me to improve, then I'm with the rest of ya!"

"I'm inclined to agree with you, Master," said Espio. "Although I wasn't intimidated by any of those prisoners or the vulgar acts they described, the ninja's code does state that one must never display weakness. Therefore, I will also try to improve myself."

"I don't want Froggy to go to prison," said Big.

"You know…" said Silver, "I-I've seen a lot of bad things in the future…but…I've never seen anything as horrible as what those prisoners told us about! Now I'm wondering…if bad things like that really do happen…i-is the past really worth saving?"

"Silver, you are acting naïve again," replied Blaze.

Silver paused for a moment. "On second thought…maybe this is just one small portion of the past. As long as there are still good people in the world, then maybe it's still worth saving! I'll take the prisoners' advice and use it to improve myself and others! Blaze…I promise you, no matter what happens, I will never let any of those bad things happen to you!"

"Silver, that is awfully sweet of you! I'm grateful that I got to know you!" Blaze gave Silver a kiss.

Shadow finally spoke up after remaining silent for so long:

"Oh, come on! Can you mortals get any more pathetic than this!? Do you seriously believe that this program actually works!? Don't you see the irony of sending people to visit a bunch of pitiful vermin in prison in order to teach them not to go to prison!? Furthermore, have any of you fools ever read any studies on the effectiveness of these programs!? I bet this program doesn't work as well as they say it does!"

"Say what ya will, Shadow, but I thought those guys were some real scary dudes!" said Sonic.

"That's because you're an ignorant faker!" retorted Shadow. "You and all your other friends are mere pawns who would fall for any sort of vote-getting 'tough on crime' policies!" He turned to Rouge next. "Well, how about it, Rouge?"

Rouge's eyes were wide open. "I gotta say, I've never been more frightened in my life!"

Shadow facepalmed. "Not you too!"

Rouge smiled, dropping her fearful look. "Actually…I'm not giving up on stealing gems no matter what they tell me!"

"Well, go ahead," said Knuckles, "but is stealing the Master Emerald really worth going through all that horrible stuff that they told us about?"

"HA! Don't be too sure, Knuckie! I once got caught with 24 kilos of gems! I'm out on bail and out of jail, and that's the way it goes, baby!"

"OK, FINE!" I heard Knuckles grumbling in frustration.

"It might not have worked for you two," said Sonic, "but if this group is any sorta proof, then I'd say this program works pretty well! Say…where was Robuttnik during this whole jam?"

"And why wasn't Mephiles here?" asked Shadow.

"Who?" I asked.

"Let me lay it on ya this way…" Sonic told me about Dr. Ivo Robotnik, better known as "Dr. Eggman", a mad scientist who was responsible for – among other things – attempting to turn an entire nation's population into robots, constructing a space station to try to destroy the world and stealing the aforementioned Master Emerald. According to Knuckles, the Master Emerald was a large gem of immense power, and he had been assigned to guard it.

As for Shadow, he told me about Mephiles the Dark, the intelligent mind of Solaris the Sun God, once worshipped by the people of the city-state of Soleanna. In short, Mephiles was released from a device known only as the Scepter of Darkness, and upon release, conspired to fuse with Iblis, the raw strength of Solaris. Most surprisingly, I learned that he killed Sonic.

"…And now you know, pathetic human," said Shadow.

"All right," said Sonic, "who wants chili dogs?"

Only Tails replied affirmatively.

"OK…who wants pizza?" asked Sonic. This time, everybody but Shadow replied affirmatively.

"All right, let's boogie!" So, Sonic and his group went to a local restaurant to chow down. I would've joined them, but I had some work to attend to. Plus, I didn't want any emotional attachments to influence me when writing this article. Granted, Sonic and his cohorts were very interesting people, but still…

In the meantime, as Sonic and his friends contemplated the lessons that they'd been taught, and while people across the country were debating the effectiveness of "Scared Straight" programs, the lifers of the JOINT Program returned to their cells to serve out the rest of their sentences at the Joseph K. Driscoll Correctional Facility. Here, they would weather continued exposure to the very horrors that they described to Sonic and his friends, as would the other prisoners. However, even as the lifers spent their days lamenting their incarceration, they could sleep just a little more soundly at night knowing that they might have saved the lives of some beautiful young people with potential to succeed.

Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.