a/n: this first part is a follow-up to chapter 1 - the part where elsa would receive a call from belle.

Chapter 15: Professional

She's here.

Her eyes. That voice. Copper hair. I didn't think she was really here. How could Olaf not tell me? How could he not know until now? My heart beat quicker and harder than usual through my quiet office, the grey clouds only deepening to darken my space. I looked out into the glass wall, my reflection staring back at me. Pale cheeks, blue eyes, platinum blonde hair… but this looked nothing like me.

The stoic, stern expression… looking seemingly way too exhausted. But I had to push on.

Who was I if I became a disappointment to my grandfather? I put my hand in my pocket, another tugging my tie loose.

Despite the coldness of the AC, it was getting hot. Perhaps, fear… was what most bothered me. Though I'd realized for a long time, I had always shut my feelings out. I'm not sure what I'm feeling.

I'd told her to get home safe-that'd I'd see her again next Thursday. I was an idiot. Why did I do it?

No, I could keep asking myself that, it still wouldn't help what was going to happen.

Olaf had her number, and… whoever that was supposed to interview me, I could just take that.

I grimaced at my own idiocy. As much as I wanted to see Anna Smith, as much as I cared for her for a very long time… oh, the fear had taken over for this past couple of years. Especially in the years of when I'd once dated Belle. If it wasn't for those nightmares that had haunted me, I would've been happy.

I'd realized, my happiness had only gone to the gutter once I'd broken up with Belle. I knew I couldn't blame Anna for this-we hadn't talked for so long until now. I clenched my fists together, nails deep in my skin. But a part of me had always hated her for who I'd become now.

It was laughable that I had become so drawn to someone that I'd been hating. Perhaps, it wasn't so much as it was hatred-but how else would I explain I feel about Anna? I shut my eyes. I hadn't forgotten what had happened between us-what had separated us.

I was selfish to even begged her to go to the concert. I was selfish to even feel happy that she would be there… and perhaps, I was too selfless. I hurt myself, only to hurt her and others around me. I took a deep breath as I rolled my shoulder and neck around. They'd been quite sore and stiff for a while. I let out a breath.

Belle had always been the best at massaging the pain away, and now that she's gone, who could I rely on-

My phone began to vibrate in my pocket. Too tired to even answer, reluctantly, I took my phone out. My eyes widened, my breathing and my beating heart stopped. There was a surge of anger and fear came crashing into me in waves. Why is she calling me? We hadn't talked for a year. I'd imagined she wouldn't be thinking about me after our break up. For a long time now, I didn't either. I'd moved on. My phone continued to vibrate.

At times like this? I hesitated to answer, glaring blankly at the screen saver of her kissing me. Oh, did we look so happy.

I should really change that. The call was going to end soon, and I needed to decide whether to answer or hang up. I didn't have much of a choice. I didn't know what she wanted, but if anything… she would do no harm to me. I know her.

I slid the answer key to the left. "Belle."

Silence. I frowned. "Bonjour, Elsa." She sighed. She sounds exhausted. "How have you been?"

I glanced down to my feet. "Why are you calling me?"

"I can't call a friend?" Friends?

I snarled. "No, especially not after when we last talked." I was harsh, but… it had to be this way. We needed to get away from each other-from me. I didn't need her to be near me so that she could get hurt again. We ruined each other.

"We ended on a good term, Elsa." I pursed my lips together. "I miss you."

My heart skipped a beat, my skin tingling at the sound of her voice… the way she whispered those last three words. All this I could resist all, everything that reminded her, and now she was back… but for what purpose? My voice trembled, blue eyes darkening at the imagination of what she could be doing-what she could do to me if we were together. I'd realized my legs and wrists were still chained to her. I… was still hers.

"I ask you again," I growled, letting my words sway with fear and heartbreak. "Why… are you calling me?" I gazed at my reflection. Oh, how pathetic to see how submissive I would be for her.

"I'm back, Elsa. I'm not sure when I'll go back to France… but I'm here. I remember that promise."

I swallowed, clenching my phone tightly against my ear. I could feel sweat dripping down my skin. "Don't. Answer my question."

"I wanted to see you… to see if you're okay alone. Elsa… it's been too long, my baby Snowflake."

My eyes widened. Name's Anna. Glad you're okay, Snowflake! I slammed my fist against the glass wall. She could hear it from the other end. "Don't call me that."

Belle was silent, and the only thing I could hear was her soft breathing. "Why not?" She didn't need to know, and she didn't need to come back to my life anymore. Especially not when… not when I'd coincidentally bumped into… Anna. Gods, it was hard to say her name. "What are you hiding, Elsa?"

I shut my eyes. "Please… leave me be, Belle."

"Did she come back?" My body tensed up. She couldn't have known. Belle couldn't have guessed so quickly. My lips were sealed tight, but she knew me all too well. After these four years… my life had become a part of her. I wasn't really separated from her. There was nothing I knew about myself that she didn't know about. Perhaps, she knew me more than I knew myself. "Don't lie to me now, Elsa. She came back, didn't she?"

"This has nothing to do with you."

"No, but I know how you feel about her. Don't make this complicated."

I regretted answering this call, but she just… she'd drawn me in. I couldn't resist, couldn't resist answering to her words. Oh, why? Her voice… so gentle and soothing… it was comforting. I sighed to myself. I couldn't deny her for what she wanted-as I'd always been the one person to give her everything that I had. All of me.

"How did you know?" My voice softened. Something inside of me… wanted to give in to her. I'd always submit myself to her. A part of me still cared deeply for her. My eyes glowed brightly and I gazed into my own reflection. What am I doing?

Belle laughed. "I know you, Elsa. As much as you deny how opened you are… everything that you do is just so… revealing."

"I didn't think you'd care after all these months." I pressed a hand against the cold glass. But she cared. She'd do everything and anything to make me feel safe. Did that still stand?

"When have I never cared about you? Tell me, did you talk to her? Does she know you?"

I shut my eyes and turned to lean my back against the wall. "Her memories aren't back." I twitched. There was a sense of disgust in me. Those words just came slipping out as if she had control over my mind. Of course, everything that we had done together… she'd always had me by her side. I… would gladly submit myself to her. I would follow her everywhere she'd go, and she would too. Oh, how pathetic. But I knew well that she was up to something.

"I'm sorry, Elsa. So you two talked."

"It was an interview for her class." Stop.

"Hm… did you plan on meeting with her?"

"Yes, soon. Next Thursday." A pause. "I don't plan on telling her who I am. At least, not now." I wasn't sure why I was telling her all this. Perhaps, I'd realized she would pose no real danger to her. I didn't care what she would do to me as long as Anna was kept away from her.

For a long time, Belle had always… envied her-the woman that hadn't existed until now. Anna had taken over my life with Belle pulling my life back to her-she didn't seem so fond of how I'd always think about Anna. But I could not deny how caring Belle had been with me. I'd remember the heartbroken gaze she'd give me when I was deep in thought.

I blinked out of my blank daze. "You don't seem so fond of the idea." Gods, I didn't need her opinion on this.

"No, I don't." An immediate response. But this was to be expected for someone who'd been with me for so long. For someone who I thought I would be with together forever. "Think about what she could do to you-how she would react once she figures out what happened to you and her-"

"This is between us, you have no right to interfere."

"I love you, Elsa. I want to see you." I didn't need this. But I couldn't bring myself to hang up-oh, and it was all because I craved for those three words being said from her. Those words echoed, weakening me and my heart. I couldn't just take this all in. I couldn't give her what she wanted.

"We can't do this," I whispered, but I knew… a part of me still believed that my heart was still for her. Oh, what would it take to get away from her grip-from my own addiction to someone like her?

"Do you really think… what you're doing to that poor girl-to yourself, is ideal?"

"If this is to mend back what we had, then yes."

"Elsa… she hurt you badly. Changed you so much. Who will she blame if she finds out?"

At this point, I wasn't listening. I was too heartbroken to hear that someone who'd cared and loved for me so dearly… would stop me from being with the only person I wanted a closure with. No, this was because she loved me too much. As did I.

I chewed on my lip. "We'll see…" I murmured. She's wrong. She's wrong about her… about us. "We'll see about all this."

The clock ticked loudly with each second passing, and the sound of her breathing filled my ears as well. She shifted closer to me in bed, her lips pressed on my cheek. The night was warm, and the only thing that kept us in this warmth was a blanket… and her against me. I was in heaven.

Geez, what is she doing?

I could feel her fingers running through my hair, her bare legs getting in between mine under the blanket. Gods, yes, her touch was always welcoming, but god damn it, I was trying to get some sleep here. I groaned and turned to meet her face to face. She'd stopped. I opened my eyes slowly to see her blankly staring at me. She'd stopped touching me.

"Hey…" I squeezed her arm, yawning. "Are you going to go to sleep?" The ring sparkled as it hung loosely around her neck with just a metal string. She gazed down, her head shaking no. I frowned. Oh, there had to be something wrong. She'd be sleeping so soundlessly right now.

Sitting up slowly, I allowed her blue eyes follow mine… and my body. Yes, we were naked in bed having done… some intense activities before. I was still a bit sore. It was a good sore, though. What time is it?

I looked out to the full moon shining elegantly with stars, emphasizing all of her figures. The streets were quiet and empty now too.

It must've been quite late. I turned my attention back to Elsa who sat up with me. Her right hand hugged her left shoulder, blue eyes glancing down to her own lap. I tilted my head in confusion. With her like this… silent, and looking this depressed, it worried me. After all, she had already gone through two surgeries, and another coming up soon enough. And none of which had been successful, and a waste of money. Not that Elsa cared. I found her gazing at me for a split second before turning away. She was acting like a child! Fuck, I thought we were okay!

I ran my fingers through her hair. "Hey," I whispered as gently as I could ever be. "Tell me what's wrong. You haven't woken up like this before."

Elsa looked up at the ceiling, her throat bobbing as she swallowed. She took a deep breath. "Don't worry, go back to sleep. I should go to the bathroom-" No, no, no. This won't do.

I held her arm tightly in my hand. "Don't avoid me, Elsa…" She jerked away from me. I frowned and loosened my grip. Oh, I see… I let her arm go immediately and held her hand in mine. "Did you get a nightmare?"

She didn't say yes or no, but with her expression being so prominent as it darkened, I took that as a yes. Oh, poor thing. Even if I was around, fully loving and caring her, those nightmares just couldn't help getting back. This worried me.

I'd suggested her to go to therapy one day like how she would use to when she was younger, but… she flat out refused. I couldn't deny her wishes, but at the same time, I was too concerned about her well being to care about what she'd think. Though I'd realized, I had to take as good of a care of her as I would with glass.

I couldn't rush things.

It'd only been a few months since we'd gotten back together, but for Elsa… it looked like us being together had made things worse for her. Those nightmares weren't frequent, but they were something that would be too intense and overwhelming. She would cry and panic if she woke up-and only if she'd wake up. Sometimes, she just wouldn't. To know that I had to slap her awake or scream at her… I'd never imagine myself doing that to her. I couldn't imagine how Olaf had felt when I wasn't here. This was just heartbreaking. I couldn't bear to see Elsa cry one more time because of that.

This time, Elsa didn't look like she wanted to cry. No, it was more… she was numb to the feeling. Ah, this reminded me of how we used to be-so numb from love, and from each other. It was sickening.

"Elsa? Talk to me, I'll be here, alright?" I wanted to hug her, but I didn't want to trigger a panic attack now.

At times like this, Elsa wasn't always in the best shape. I should tell Olaf to give her a day off today.

When she gazed at me, there was nothing in her eyes that would show any emotions. So blank, so dark… so heartbreaking. As if she was crying for help. What could I ever do? What did she see that would make her look at me this way? Her blue eyes shifted down from mine. What is she thinking?

"I…" she whispered, her hand falling off from her shoulder. "I don't want to lose you, Anna."

I frowned. What the fuck? What was she saying? I was patient, though. "You won't, I'll always be there for you. What did you dream about that would make you think that?" I whispered.

She took a deep breath, her body shaking, a hand going through her own hair. Oh no, she was going to weep. Gods, how fragile had she become after all these months?

I put my arms around her regardless of her body reacted, and let her head rest on my shoulder. To see a strong, dominant woman acting so pathetic now… I didn't a word to describe what it was like to see her like this. But this was the time where Elsa would truly be open to me. I let her cry on me, and I was on the verge of crying for her. Her body was shaking, fingers clenching onto me for dear life. I knew she was trying her best to stay calm. Oh, but there was no need as it was just the two of us.

"Shhh… you're okay, Elsa, I won't leave you. Whatever you dreamt about, it wasn't real. I love you too much to even leave you." I chuckled for some added humor. Perhaps this could make her laugh. "Well, I love you too much that I came back for seconds. Of you, I mean."

She didn't say anything. Ah, this wasn't the time for jokes. I gazed at the tattoo covered scar. I'd never realized how big that scar was until now, seeing it up close. Gods, how ugly it was to see it stretch down to the middle of her back like a lightening bolt.

I shut my eyes, pressing a kiss in her hair. Ah, she smelled like wintergreen mint.

And for a while, we stayed quiet and still. Just being with her would always make her feel better. Well, somewhat, at least. She sighed, finding her hand reaching for mine. I knew she didn't have the strength to touch me now so I hooked my pinky with hers. "Well? You can take your time… I'll be here when you want to talk."

She shifted down, her ear pressed close to my heartbeat. It must've calmed her. "I…" I listened intently to her soft voice. "I couldn't imagine what Belle could do to you… to us."

Oh. Belle. We hadn't talked much with her this past few weeks. I was patient, but a part of me felt angry that Belle would trigger a nightmare too. Oh, but this was all because of me, though. "What did she do?"

"She took you away from me… said to me, you're not worth loving, and I belong to her… that I… I was wrong to have met you."

"Elsa…"

"I couldn't run to you, I was in chains. I couldn't do anything to protect you, and I-"

"Alright, that's enough." Silence. Oh, and it really was enough for Elsa. She let out a shaky sigh. Why is she holding herself back? The pinky hold turned into her hand holding onto mine, another pressed up against her eyes. I couldn't see those tears, but I knew she was too ashamed and too heartbroken to even show them. Yes, she had been more open to me… but something like this… she couldn't deal with it.

I kissed her head again, and I held her tight in my arms. She gripped my hand hard, but I couldn't care less if it was broken in her hold. I whispered soft sweet nothings to her in hopes it would make her feel a bit better.

She didn't say much, her eyes avoiding mine. My poor Elsa. I couldn't imagine what she'd be going through. But we would go through this together.

I'd realized… as much as she'd healed herself from the past, she would get even more broken. She was helpless, and I was the only support she could lean on.

"You're fine, Snowflake," I breathed. She was shaking on me. "Just cry it out… let it all out, Elsa…"

Elsa let out another shaky breath before I heard a whimper coming out of her lips. Dear gods, her mind must've been filled with awful memories of those dreams. It'd never go away, would it? She held onto me tightly, and finally, Elsa had let herself go on me.

I hadn't heard her cry that much before. But I didn't mind. I could stay like this all night if this would bring her comfort.

The night shined brightly on us, and her pale skin covered in one big tattoo was so prominent in the light. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder, fingers drawing circles on her scar to bring her down from her misery. Ever so gently, I ran my finger down her scar, bringing little twitches and whimpers from her. I glared. Is she this sensitive? But with each touch, she'd learn to move on.

"Elsa..." She'd stopped crying, and for a while, I let her bask in my warmth and my heartbeat. I didn't talk, knowing she'd want this silence so that she could get herself together. I gazed at her intently. Her fingers loosened on my hand finally. It was getting a bit cramp.

I heard a sigh from her. "I'm… I'm sorry."

Oh god, no. I wanted to roll my eyes. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Snowflake-"

"She was right." I arched an eyebrow up in confusion. I knew who she was talking about. But at moments like this? She shifted, turning her swollen blue eyes on me. Oh, I knew that look. So dark… blank and looking all so vulnerable. It was miserable.

I let her sit up beside me, to find her bare and beautiful from any clothes. Ah, yes, she was just so… but this wasn't the time to think about that. Her eyes met with mine, looking oh, so sorrowful. So tired. She caressed my cheek, each finger gliding lightly down my chin.

"I…" she breathed shakily. "I ruined us… I did all this to us-" Us! I wanted to slap her in the face right now. I wanted to do everything I could to stop her from thinking this kind of nonsense. When was she ever going to learn… none of this was ever her fault?!

I huffed out a breath. Quickly I grabbed her chin and pulled her towards me. The confusion and fear in her eyes were almost laughable. I didn't care if she was in control of me in bed. Right now, I needed to assert dominance.

Though, she didn't seem to mind. Maybe too tired to even care. I glared into her eyes. "Don't. Continue. That. Sentence." My voice shook.

Her fingers loosely held my wrist. "Anna…"

Oh, how weak could she be? My eyes blurred with tears but I couldn't let her see my weakness. I took a deep shallow breath. "You don't have the right to say who is at fault and who isn't in this relationship. I don't care… what the hell Belle told you because, with every thing she tossed to you-to us, I… will get back at her immediately. I don't care, Elsa." I loosened my grip to caress her cheek. She was cold. As always. I blinked my tears away. "I don't care what she told you… I'm yours, and I'll always be yours as long as we live. Don't make this so complicated, Snowflake." A pause. "Don't let those dreams take control of you. Of us." Maybe that would get her to listen to me.

She gazed down and for the first time, I could see tears slowing streaming down her cheeks so slowly. She wasn't weeping, though. Elsa didn't say anything, and neither did her expression showed anything. Oh, she was cold… and empty, but I was here to fill it up. "Elsa…" I prompted her to look at me.

Slowly, I leaned in to kiss her lips, thumbing those bitter tears away. And I stayed there for a moment, relishing her taste, the feeling of her on me… and I could feel her return that kiss. My heart swelled with warmth, and I was her comfort. And she was mine.

My fingers ran through her golden fringes, pushing them back so I could get a good look at her eyes when I pulled away. Ah, so bright already. I'm glad. "Are you hungry? Thirsty? I'll make us coffee."

Elsa held my hand tightly. Oh, so she didn't want me to go. I laid my head against her shoulder. "Alright, I won't go." I'll never.

Her heart beat slowly and softly. I closed my eyes to listen ever so intently, loving the way her thumb caressed my skin. It'd been a while now. To feel her fingers running on my skin… her breathing consistent to my heart beat, I was getting sleepy again. Ah, she was just this comfortable and soft. I wrapped my arm around her and turned to see her staring back at me. Her lips shifted to a small smile.

"Hey." I yawned. "You should get some sleep."

She fingered through my hair, pushing them over my shoulder.

"I will soon." Soon? She better.

"Okay." I wasn't going to force her to sleep if she couldn't. And fine, I wouldn't sleep either. "Do you want to talk about anything? I should keep you company."

"You are the only person here with me."

I pouted. "Well, I was going to go back to sleep on you, but seeing you awake, isn't going to make me go to sleep. Let's talk about something then."

"Like what?"

I shifted closer to her. "Anything so I won't have to fall asleep without you."

She chuckled softly and leaned down to kiss me. Good, she's laughing. "Hm…" She gazed down to her lap. "Well… for a while, I was thinking, perhaps we could… lend some money to Hans."

I tilted my head. "For what?"

"He did say he want to come live here after…" She turned away. Oh. I knew what she was talking about. "After everything that happened."

My eyes gazed down in shame. In anger. I wasn't sure. I didn't think Hans' father could be like this.

As a child, I'd always loved his father-he was kind, smart, handsome… just like Hans. I didn't think he could be so… aggressive. That day, he'd pushed Hans to his limit. It was hard to see the heartbreak shown in his eyes. I couldn't forget about it. Oh, there were too many things I still didn't know much about Hans.

That day, my emotions were everywhere, but I had Elsa. And Hans, Olaf… everyone else to protect me. I didn't know I deserved so much protection. I was happy to see so many people caring for my wellbeing. To see how many people would sacrifice their own dignity for me.

I pursed my lips together. Right now, Hans didn't have much money after he left home and the company. It'd make sense that Elsa would lend him some money. Lend? No, to keep.

I placed a hand on top of her chest. A smile spread across my cheeks when an idea came about. "How about we give him a couple of thousands to get him started? Bring him here and find a decent apartment for him, he'll be fine the rest of the way."

She arched an eyebrow. "Did I hear you say… 'give'?" I knew she wouldn't like the idea of giving. And especially with giving someone anything who had taken her woman away from her. I flushed at the thought of her possessiveness. Though, I could easily persuade her. I was her spoiled little girlfriend, after all.

I rolled my eyes at her, groaning. "It's not like ten thousand is much for you anyway, right?"

Elsa scoffed, turning away. Oh, now that was a change of mood. "You've already set an amount."

"Hey, you can easily bring out a couple thousand and you know it. Besides, Hans… is too sweet of a guy to even keep the money." I held her arm and squeezed her biceps. She glared at me. Jealous? "Please? Do it for me at least." Silence.

And finally, she sighed. "I suppose so. We'll help him out." Yes! Put all the jealousy aside.

I grinned brightly. "See? You can't refuse me."

"We'll see about that." I gulped and tried to ignore that first part. "Yes, I can't refuse you-I love you too much to refuse you." Ah, there was my happy girlfriend. I kissed her cheek, prompting a hand to run down my spine. Goodness. I took a good look at her.

I'd expected a smile but… she wasn't smiling.

"Elsa."

My girlfriend turned to me, blue eyes sparkling, and I wasn't sure if she really was happy. "Yes?"

I kissed her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I will be."

"I didn't ask if you will be; are you okay right now?" Her eyes merely sparkled and leaned in to kiss me. Gods, sometimes, she could be so frustrating, but that was another reason why I loved her so much. I sighed into her lips, my fingers burrowed in her hair. I could feel all my worries for her going down the drain.

She laced our fingers together, another hand running up my back… too sensitive to the touch. I sighed into her lips. Oh, how could she do this to me? Oh, how alive I'd felt with her touch on me.

As much as I wanted this-wanted her to take me again, we pulled away.

I mirrored her grin. "So are you?"

"With you, I am."