I fell asleep almost too exhausted to stand or keep my eyes open, but somehow my sleep was restless in spite of that. I kept seeing Monokuma's malicious, nightmarish face flashing in front of me, shrouded in a black mist as his red eye glowed with a demonic crimson. His demented grin would forever be embedded into my nightmares, along with the images of our four dead classmates' corpses.
It was beginning to take a toll on my mental and physical health. I would wake up every morning feeling lethargic and exhausted, like my eyes and limbs were heavy and being dragged down every second. The thought of the Orb of Desire wasn't helping matters much either. At first it was just something that I would remember existed, something along the lines of "Oh yeah that existed". But the longer I allowed my mind to dwell on it, the more I became enthralled with the Orb of Desire.
No, obsessed with it.
Suddenly the possibilities of the orb began to circulate through my mind. I could theoretically use it to do just about anything I wanted. Anything from making Masaki develop feelings for me, to escaping this game, to even worldwide fame as a photojournalist. I could use it to be taller, to develop the strength needed to finally tell off Hideki and Kaemon. I could use it to be impossible for Monokuma to execute if I were to attack him.
I could use it to save everybody here, Masaki included.
Then, I began thinking about just what I had been saying last night. When we were all fighting over the Orb, how it was meant to divide us from the beginning. While it could theoretically give us anything we wanted, it was done in the pursuit of making us obsessed to the point where we would literally kill for it. That was Monokuma's plan all along, and if I were to develop that same obsession, I would be falling right into his trap with the others.
That, I was not willing to do, not one bit.
I awakened the next morning and changed into my regular clothes, giving a big yawn as I checked the time. 6:56 am. Damn Monokuma, I thought to myself. Even manipulated my own sleep schedule, that bastard…
Four minutes quickly zipped by, and right on cue the morning announcement played. "Good morning, class!" Monokuma said, sitting on the chair while sipping his martini with that same grin on his face. I had this insatiable urge to climb through the screen and punch his face off, even though my arms were too thin and spindly to do any sort of real damage. "It is now 7 am!"
I couldn't even be bothered to sit through the rest of the announcement as I walked out of my dorm. Immediately, I was greeted with the sight of Hideki strolling down the hallway, as I noticed Azizah and Guadalupe walking toward the dining hall, in the direction opposite of the Ultimate Interrogator. I tried to sneak toward the dining hall with them, when suddenly I heard the all-too-familiar calling of my name. Shit. I felt a shiver down my spine as I dreaded turning around, seeing Hideki's smug, malaligned grin.
"Kanon," Hideki called out to me. "Where are you going?" He asked.
"Um…" I turned around to look at him, his towering, imposing figure, his eyes covered by lifeless, robotic sunglasses. The grin of corruptness upon his mug. "Just… to the dining hall? With everyone else…" I muttered, looking down at the ground as my resolve had been greatly minimized.
He smirked at me and lowered his sunglasses. "Look, I don't take you as the type to take the Orb or anything. I'm not really worried about you, so I'm just gonna leave you alone,"
I breathed a sigh of relief as Hideki walked away. It was nice that he never suspected me. It would mean that he I could steal the Orb, and he wouldn't notice-
Damn, I was doing it again.
Shaking my head to clear myself of the previous thoughts I was having, I walked toward the dining hall myself. I arrived to the usual scene of everybody in their groups, with everybody grouping up with their friends - Rai was sitting between Shiro and Aiko, going off about the weather again as Aiko leaned her head on the table, looking at him with enthralled eyes as Shiro was leaning back in their chair, with an unimpressed look upon his face. Toko and Daquan were talking together, seemingly now over Saeko's death. Tame, Kenji, and Ryo were sitting together as well as Yuki and Guadalupe, while Kaemon was off by himself at the end of the table. Asa was sitting next to Utamuro and Tomoe while shoving pastries into her mouth, while Sen was on the other side of the table, writing something down on his own. Masaki and Azizah were sitting next to each other and talking together, just like yesterday. While it irked me a bit, I noticed something was off.
Two people were missing - Hideki and Amy-chan.
"Good morning, Kanon!" Azizah greeted me as I took a seat between her and Masaki.
"You sleep well last night?" Masaki asked me, his gentle gray eyes looking into my own. I felt a chill run down my spine as my heart skipped a beat.
"W-well, I guess I kinda did…" I whispered. "Well, you know, as well as one reasonably can under these stressful conditions,"
Masaki nodded. "In any case, where is Amy-chan at?" he asked.
Utamuro's eyes lit up. "Oh no…" his face suddenly went pale as he looked down at the ground. Given everything we had been through over the past week or so, his fear was absolutely justified. Considering what had happened to Lorenzo and Saeko.
Then, total silence filled the room. She was always up around this time, even factoring the ridiculous amount of time she would need to get dressed and do her hair and makeup. It was quite incredible how punctual she was despite not only how ditzy she came off, but the sheer amount of time and preparation it would take to put on her usual attire was definitely not to be underestimated. To get that all done in the time it would usually take me to just get out of bed in the morning, now that was impressive.
And the fact that she had not shown up yet was concerning.
Plus, where was Hideki in all this anyway? I remembered he was out patrolling the hallway, which made me more concerned the more I thought about it. Was he to blame for what was going on with Amy-chan? Oh dear, I just couldn't handle the thought-
Suddenly, the door to the dining hall burst open, and we all gasped as a horrifying sight unfolded before us.
Hideki was standing in the doorway, gripping Amy-chan tightly by her hair. She was wincing in pain and holding her head, and it looked like some makeup was dripping down from her eyes.
"Whoa!" Utamuro shouted, running up to the two of them. Hideki let go of Amy-chan as she fell to her knees. "What did she do to you?!" Utamuro shouted at him, while helping Amy-chan stand back up.
"She was getting too suspicious," Hideki replied. "I saw her looking around for the Orb of Desire,"
Masaki glared at him. "Look, what makes you think she was looking for the Orb of Desire?" He asked. "No really, what reason do we have to believe that you did this for any reason than just your own violent paranoia?"
"Yeah, this isn't professional police behavior at all!" I tacked on. "Very uncharacteristic of an Ultimate,"
Hideki sighed and took a seat next to Sen. "Look, if she had found the Orb, then things would have turned out really bad for us. It's something we can't risk,"
Amy-chan let out an agonized "Owwww…" as Utamuro guided her to a seat, her movement looking dizzy and staggered.
Everyone went silent again, though the atmosphere seemed hostile and heated rather than frightened this time. A few of us were glaring at Hideki as Amy-chan occasionally whimpered.
"Anyway, what did we have planned for today?" asked Hideki.
"Y'know, I'm not bothering with this," Kaemon said, getting out of his seat and walking away from the dining hall.
"Dear me, I… Really should be getting to baking now," Asa nervously muttered through a mouthful of cake, getting up and rushing out of the room herself.
"Hmm, seems she's suffering from a mild sugar rush," Sen noted, for once taking an eye off of his paper.
Shiro tilted their head at him. "Is that a real thing?" They asked him.
"Why, of course!" Sen replied, his eyes perking up. "Perhaps not in the cartoonishly doping fashion that you may be thinking of, but it can raise a person's brain activity to extensive levels,"
Shiro shrugged and laid back again, with everyone seeming to forget about the whole situation with Hideki and Amy-chan for some reason.
Within minutes, everybody had cleared the dining hall once more. With everyone else gone, as well as no plans or commitments coming up, I decided the best way to pass the time was to see what everybody else was up to. I definitely wasn't about to spend any time with Hideki, so I was going to see who I could find by walking around.
I exited the dining hall and began walking down the hallway. As I made my way through, I noticed Aiko holding up a candle, muttering something under her breath. Surprisingly, Rai wasn't anywhere near her for some reason.
Suddenly, Aiko turned to me and grinned. "Oh, hello there Kanon~" she greeted me, the flame on her candle flickering.
"Oh, hey-" I greeted her back. Her blood-red eyes and creepy, wide grin were as unsettling as always, sending chills down my spine as she spoke in her typical high-pitched, almost bewitching voice.
Aiko walked toward me and then looked me up and down, licking her lips. "Kanon, would you like to perform a ritual with me?" She asked, her wide grin turning into a warm smile. I couldn't quite explain what it was, but somehow, in that moment, I felt… soothed. For whatever reason, I was starting to feel safe around Aiko. In that moment, her presence was warm and comfortable, even though those were words I would never use to describe her otherwise.
"Well, I'd love to!" I replied, now somehow eager to go along with whatever creepy thing she wanted to do.
"Excellent!" Aiko exclaimed, taking my hand. Her hand was covered in a soft black glove, but I could feel that she had a tight grip on me. Luckily, I had no plans to escape her clutches. Although, if I did, it would be quite unfortunate for me.
She and I walked out to the beach, where she then let go of my hand after we got decently far between the ocean and the train. She picked up a stick off the ground and then drew a circle in the sand, drawing various lines and indistinguishable patterns and designs inside. It was probably just another magic circle like the one she had drawn yesterday.
"What is this?" I asked her. "It's the first time I've taken part in a ritual such as this. What's the point of it?"
Aiko smiled as she began to place candles at the edges of the circle, notably placing them at the points where the lines would cross. Somehow, the flames on all the candles turned from an orange-red to a violet color. After she had finished setting all the candles, she sat down across from me in the circle.
"Okay, now just sit there, and close your eyes," Aiko told me. I went along with it, closing my eyes. I could hear nothing but the crashing of the waves and the faint breeze, with the crisp beach air upon my skin. It felt like I was floating, like my body was in another dimension.
"You're in another world now," she said to me, her voice quiet, calm, reassuring. She took both my hands as I felt a surge of warmth through both my wrists. For once, I felt.. At peace. I had no idea what Aiko was doing, but whatever it was, it was working.
"Now, just concentrate on nothing. Clear your mind. This is a good test for stress relief and relaxation," She whispered, her voice tickling my ears. "And whatever you do, don't open your eyes,"
I then heard Aiko indistinctly mutter some phrases in a language I could not understand. It all sounded so alien to me, like sounds no normal human could ever make.
After the most soothing few minutes of my life, I heard Aiko's soft voice echoing in my head again.
"Open your eyes," she commanded me. I opened my eyes to see that all the candles had been snuffed out, probably from the cool beach wind. Aiko smiled at me and stood up, holding her hand down as if to instruct me to take it. I stood up and took her hand, making sure to snap some pictures of the circle before she kicked the lines in the sand out, putting all her candles away in the process. "This was my meditation ritual, the one I usually show to people first getting into my… spirituality," She told me with a smile on her face. I didn't quite know why she paused before finishing her sentence, but regardless, I had a good experience with it.
The two of us walked back up to the train, and we sat down at a table in the scenic room.
"So how was that?" Aiko asked me, looking deep into my eyes.
"It was… lovely, in all honesty," I replied with a nod and a confident smile. "It felt… really nice. Better than I was anticipating,"
Aiko nodded and gave a sweet giggle. "Well, I'm glad to hear, dearie," Aiko said to me, resting her head upon her hands. "How are you feeling now? Calm?"
I nodded. "Absolutely!" I replied. "Hey, would you mind if I did an editorial on your, uh, spirituality?" I asked her. "It obviously can't be too big yet, but it's fascinating to me,"
She nodded, her whole face lighting up. "Why, of course!" She said. "But, before we get to that, I have questions for you too," she told me, clearing her throat. "First of all, how have you been? Every time I run into you, you appear to be downtrodden, sullen, jaded. You give off rather depressing vibes, and I must ask you. What is bothering you?"
"So you could see it after all?" I asked, giving a bit of a laugh. "I've tried not to look too upset, but I guess I'm not the best at hiding my emotions… Well, in all honesty, sometimes I feel like… well, you know. With all the death and all, I feel like I helped get Saeko killed… and Hideki being so controlling doesn't help things. Plus, it doesn't help matters that well… I don't feel like I'm… enough, I guess. I can take pictures and write stories, but I still need to… do more. I just sort of fade into the background. Like I don't really matter…" I trailed off. I had no idea why more words came out of me than I had previously intended, but I knew that my words would not fall upon deaf ears.
Aiko nodded. "I could sense it in you quite easily. Anyway… About all that. That's absolute nonsense! You are perhaps the most intellectual person here! Why, I don't think we would even be alive without you!"
"O-oh-"
"And don't worry about all that, about not standing out! We are all unique in our own ways! None of us here is without talent, that's what we're all here for! And even beyond that, it is quite ridiculous that people have this idea that you need to have talent to matter," She told me. "You absolutely matter. You're beyond worth it! Kanon Amari, you are a precious gem and one of the most important people I have ever met!" She then took my hands and looked straight into my eyes. "Don't you ever sell yourself short. Because I guarantee you, people in your life value you more than you could ever comprehend!"
"Wow…" Her reassuring smile returned to her face as I smiled back at her. She had struck a nerve with me in a way that only Masaki had before, and even then, that was mostly due to my attraction toward him. My only thoughts on Aiko up until now had been completely negative, but as it turned out… I was wrong about her. She made me feel good about myself!
Afterward, the two of us parted ways as she left, probably to hang out with Rai or Shiro. In the meantime, I set out to see who else was around to hang out with.
I walked into the scenic room, where I saw Amy-chan sitting at the table, applying heavy amounts of foundation and blush to her bruised face and looking into a rectangular makeup mirror. I could see black-gray streaks of mascara running down her cheeks, presumably from crying. Considering what likely happened with that dickhead Hideki, I couldn't blame the poor girl.
"O-oh, ohayo Kanon-chan..." Amy-chan said to me, uncharacteristically melancholy in her tone. The hairs in her wig had been crumpled and torn; it didn't look like it would ever see any usage again. It broke my heart seeing the girl so damaged and broken...
"Hey, Amy-chan," I greeted her, sitting down across from her. "You holding up okay?" I asked her. I didn't know why I was asking her that question; it was fairly clear that she absolutely was not.
Amy-chan shook her head and gave a subtle "iie" as she turned away, hiding the bruised side of her face from me.
I tapped my fingers on the table for a few seconds as I tried to think of some way to break the tension. "Uh... How cosplays have you done?" I asked her.
She gave a soft sigh and looked down, staying silent for a few seconds. "I lost count in 2009," she replied. Somehow, this sentence caught me off-guard. It didn't feel as overly-saccharine or ditzy or fake-Japanese. It felt... genuine.
"Wow, you... have sure done a lot?" I replied, giving a nervous chuckle. "Uh... how many albums have you recorded?" I asked. I admittedly wasn't too into the J-Pop scene, so I wouldn't even know any of her album names off the top of my head.
She scowled and shook her head again. "I haven't been counting since 2009,"
Her voice felt a lot softer and weaker than usual. This wasn't the obnoxious, boisterous Amy-chan I had been used to.
"Well uh..." I began tugging at my sleeve as the silence began to deafen the room. I could feel my heart pounding as I tried to think of something to add to the conversation, but nothing was coming to my head! "How much Japanese do you know?"
She shook her head again and turned away. "I stopped learning more Japanese in 2009,"
Dear god, what the fuck happened in 2009?!
"Okay, what happened that year?" I asked her. "You're... a completely different person than I thought you were,"
She rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Nothing, that was just when I moved to Japan and switched labels, and... they gave me a new persona, telling me to play up the cutesy, dumb fake Japanese girl thing as much as I could,"
Wait... what?
"Is that-"
"Yes!" She replied, slamming her hands on the table. I sat there in silence as Amy-chan looked down. "Sorry, I'm really on-edge right now..." she whispered. "It's hard for me to keep up my ditzy persona when encounters like the one with Hideki happened," she said. "I had to live under a strict contract. I wasn't allowed to break character, I wasn't allowed to date because the boys had to believe I was single and available, for my image. And if I acted out of line..." she shook her head again as a single tear fell from her left eye, which she promptly wiped away with a tissue before covering up that spot with some foundation. "Sorry Kanon, I didn't mean to run my mouth there,"
I shook my head at her. "It's okay," I replied. "You needed to get that off your chest," I then pulled my journal out of my bag. "May I ask what sort of things went down?"
Amy-chan then gasped and looked away again. "I can't... Not if you're going to publish that,"
I shrugged and put the journal back into my bag. If she couldn't even inform me of what happened, then it must have been real bad. Perhaps it had something to do with her contract?
"I'm sorry, Amy," I whispered, clasping my hands. "I totally took you for someone completely different, I was convinced you were a total idiot butchering Japanese at every opportunity," I informed her. "Would have never guessed it was all an act,"
Amy-chan nodded and smiled at me, taking a deep breath. "Thank you Kanon, I really needed somebody to listen to me while Utamuro was out,"
I smiled back. "Of course! I feel like I've gotten to know a whole new side of you," I told her. "You and Utamuro seem close, are you two like...?"
She raised an eyebrow and giggled. "He's a cutie. Right now he's in his room, making a new outfit for me! The guy works so hard..."
Well, this was cute.
"Anyway, I'll be back. We should hang out more!" Amy-chan told me as she stood up, reverting to her cutesy self. "Arigato Kanon-chan, and sayonara!"
I walked away from the scenic room and walked toward the hallway, where I found Azizah working next to a power box attached to the wall, apparently messing with some wires using some tools from her belt. She turned to me as I approached, and flashed a quick smile in my direction.
"Good afternoon, Kanon! What are you up to right now?" Azizah asked me, taking a second to wipe her glasses off. Seeing her so cheery made it difficult to think about what Kaemon had done just the day before.
"Good afternoon to you too!" I greeted her. I didn't want to distract her too much; it looked like she was working hard on whatever it was she was doing.
She turned back to the power box and fiddled with the wires a bit for a few seconds, and then suddenly the light all around got brighter; I could see everything more clearly. I didn't even realize how dim the lights had gotten!
"Monokuma really doesn't take good care of this place," Azizah said with a sigh, shrugging her shoulders. "Oh well, it's not a hard fix for me," she said as she closed the door to the power box. "You look very surprised, Kanon. Why's that?"
"Just, you work really fast and I didn't see how dark it really was in here," I replied. "I'm kind of impressed!"
Azizah shrugged again. "Ah, you do not need to flatter me so much. This is quite an easy fix for me!"
Well, in her attempt to sound humble she ended up boasting even more. Not that I could hold it against her though.
"You're a really hard worker, aren't you?" I asked her. "You built that generator and you also make time for your religion, does it ever get tiring?"
Azizah shrugged again. "Not really. Yeah, it means I don't get to work on things as long as I'd particularly like to, but for my religion, I'll gladly make any sacrifices I need! Well... as many as I can afford to make, that is..."
I remembered what Kaemon revealed about her wearing her hijab in public, and suddenly frowned. I wanted to ask about that particular incident, but I also didn't want to open any old wounds.
"I'm supposed to wear my hijab, but I'm kind of scared to... People seem to be afraid of me when I wear it, and people like Kaemon really don't help. I feel like I'm letting go of an important part of me..." She trailed off. Huh, she got personal real quick.
"Well, it's just the rest of us here, why don't you begin wearing it now? I don't think anyone will judge you, except Kaemon," I said to her, trying my best to sound motivational.
Azizah shook her head and wiped a tear from her eye. "I worry about the looks I'll get, or what Kaemon will say... I really don't want to have to deal with all that again,"
I looked down and sighed. She knew more than any of us how important it was that she wear it, but then again, I wasn't one to tell her how it would affect the way anybody else looked at her. It was obvious Kaemon would be a dick about it, but there was no way to tell how anybody else would handle it. I would definitely defend her if anyone gave her shit, but how would the others go about it? It was a frustrating dilemma to say the least.
"Well Azizah, just know that no matter what, it's okay. You don't have to do anything for anybody except yourself. It shouldn't be anybody's decision how you go about your religion," I told her, putting a hand on her shoulder.
Azizah smiled back at me and closed her eyes. "I appreciate that very much, dear Kanon. I apologize if I am being difficult at the moment,"
Aw, now she was apologizing to me for things that weren't her fault? Poor girl.
"Anyway," She said, picking her toolbox off of the ground. "I've got some other things that need fixing right now. We'll talk later?" She asked.
"For sure!" I replied with a smile.
Just as Azizah walked off, Tame and Kenji entered through the door, both looking to be in a rush of some sort.
"Kanon! Come quick!" Tame said to me, grabbing onto my right hand.
"Wait, what is it?!" I asked.
"It's important," Kenji replied. "Furthermore... it's a secret. You can't let Hideki find out,"