Chapter 2

The last few weeks of the school year had been uneventful. I was determined not to let the guilt and heartache I was feeling spoil the post-exam bliss, spending most of the days with my friends lounging by the lake, enjoying the last moments of school before we went our separate ways. James, of course, had been keeping his distance. He made blatant excuses if he was cornered by Al or Rose whenever I was around and it was becoming difficult to just ignore the situation as if nothing had happened; I mean, he would barely even look me in the eye. Luckily none of my friends had caught on to the fact that James and I had gone from friends to completely nothing overnight. I think Rose was relieved that she didn't have to deal with Albus' sulking every time James would come and speak to me. I counted my lucky stars that they didn't think too much into it, knowing full well the blow out would be astronomical.

I threw myself into my last exams and organising my summer plans. My parents didn't hesitate when I told them about the internship. They were beyond excited for me and had arranged to come and see me for a week while I was in Egypt. With everything that had happened with James, I had tried desperately to get out of going to the Potters over the summer. However, despite my best attempts, Rose and Al had all but forced me to agree to spend the last weekend of the summer with them, going as far as to threaten to come to my house and kidnap me. I then tried to change the arrangements to stop at Rose's and not Al's like previously planned but Rose said her parents were doing some work on the house and so there wasn't enough room, therefore I was stuck at the Potter's.

"I think Nan's having a big dinner on the Sunday, so we'll probably spend the whole day there," Al said offhandedly from my lap where he was currently resting his head reading a book. "Lorcan and Lysander don't live too far away either so I'll ask if they can come around," he added. Rose scoffed, causing everyone to look at her. She looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"I'm sure Hannah would love that," She smirked. I shot her a warning look as I saw Al's confusion turn into a frown.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Al said sharply putting down his book and looking up at me.

"I have no idea what she's going on about," I lied, sending him a sweet smile and continuing to read my book.

The Scamander twins were close friends of the Potters and Weasleys and whilst they didn't spend a lot of time together at Hogwarts they didn't live too far from Rose and so were around a lot over summer. Lorcan, who was in Ravenclaw and the year bellow, took an avid interest in me last summer when I was visiting Rose. We had become quite close with him even visiting muggle London with me one weekend. At the time, I really enjoyed the attention and we actually had had a good time but coming back to Hogwarts in September we both agreed that we got on better as friends and he was currently dating Lily's best friend. Al looked at me for a moment longer, his glare burning a hole through the cover of my book.

"Rose?" He said turning to his cousin, who was still grinning happily at me.

"Hannah was kind of dating Lorcan last summer," She giggled like a bloody school girl. I had never seen Al move so quickly. He had sat up and pulled the book out of my hands.

"Give it back Al," I snapped, glaring at Rose who was giddy with laughter.

"You and Lorcan," He hissed. "Why didn't you tell me?" He actually looked slightly hurt as he threw the book back into my hands.

"Because there was nothing to tell," I said, snatching it back.

"Bullshit," He said frowning, looking to Rose and Scorpius for back up. "Did you kiss him?" I glared at my friend and felt my cheeks going red.

"I don't think that's any of your business," I said quietly. Al scoffed loudly.

"So that's a yes,"

"Look," I started turning to face him. "It was when you were on holiday for two weeks and it had ended by the time you were back. I didn't think it was overly important at the time, I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I apologised, trying to defuse the situation quickly. Al considered me for a moment before sighing and settling back in my lap.

"I won't invite Lorcan and Lysander then," Al said after a moment.

"Al," I groaned.

"I'm joking," He smirked up at me. I decided it was best not to respond and continued to read my book, trying desperately to avoid the noise of James and his friends playing in the lake.

"Did you hear James has got a girlfriend?" Scorpius asked offhandedly. I nearly choked, disguising it quickly as a cough, when Al replied.

"Someone actually managed to get him to put a label on it, I'm impressed," Rose remarked.

"What girl is stupid enough to go out with that idiot?" He said looking over at his brother. All of our eyes followed his and it was the first time in a few days I allowed myself to really look at him.

He was jumping off the diving board, running without a care in the world. His shirtless body making me feel weak at the knees. The pain of him having fun when I was so hurt and still reeling after our kiss made everything so much worse. I knew that it was just part of his demeanour, the arrogant, nothing ever bothers me act, but it hurt none the less. In our moment of weakness, I had been able to see the real him, the vulnerable side that nobody ever got to see. I fall asleep with the memory of the guilt in his eyes, killing me every time I think about it.

He came up from the water and I could see him looking over at us, at me. I felt myself go very red and averted my eyes quickly. "Idiot," Al said moving his attention back to his book. I allowed myself one last look and saw the older Potter walk across to a petite brunette girl picking her up and kissing her full on the mouth. I felt my heart stop.

"She's a sixth year in my House, Cressida." Scorpius said, "I think she's going to be the Head Girl next year," He said matter of factly. I hoped they would change the subject but I saw Rose still looking over at them, a disgusted look on her face.

"God, she's bloody awful," Rose said grimacing. "Why the hell did they make her Head Girl?"

"She's really clever," Scorpius shrugged, "A lot of the teachers like her, not so many of the students mind,"

"Well she can't be that clever if she's dating my idiot brother," Al said grinning. "It won't last long, he'll have moved on to the next easy target soon enough," I cringed at his words, feeling beyond stupid for falling for James Potters advances. I knew exactly what he was like and here I was nearly in tears over someone who was frankly not worth my time. He didn't care about me at all; I was just another easy target. I willed my tears away trying to not let him get the better of me.

"I best start packing," I said after a moment. I was so done with Hogwarts now; I just wanted to go home, to be as far away from James Potter as I could. I stood up quickly and grabbed my bag, ignoring Al's protests as his head fell to the ground, storming off back up to the castle without another word.

"Thank Merlin that year's over," Rose exclaimed, throwing herself down on a seat in an empty carriage and sighing deeply. The exams had taken their toll on all of us; I don't think any of us were the same person as when we started them. They had been truly awful but the last week of celebrating the end of them had made up for it.

"I couldn't agree more," I said quietly, putting my trunk up on the rack above the seats. None of them had said anything to me after the day at the lake, I think they put it down to stress after exams. Whilst I was a little relieved that no one had called me out about my changing attitude, afraid I might tell them everything, a part of me wanted them so desperately to make sure I was okay because I was far from so. I needed more than anything to offload some of the pain and guilt I was feeling after the kiss but I knew this could never happen. I would never be able to tell anyone, especially not Al. Our friendship was strong but I honestly believed he would hate me forever if he found out I had kissed his brother and nothing was worth that. I had resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to take a leaf out of James book and act as though nothing had happened knowing full well that was it going to be easier said than done.

We settled into the train ride home, changing back into regular clothes about halfway through. I barely listened to the conversation that was going on around me, my mind was too distracted, only imputing when I knew I had been silent for too long. With about an hour to go of the journey, we were joined by Fred, Roxy, Dominque, Alice, Lily and Louis, squeezing into our carriage laughing and joking making as much noise as humanly possible. Dom caught my eye from across the carriage, shooting me a concerned look when she realised that I was not joining in as much as I normally did. I knew I wouldn't be able to lie to her so decided it would be best to ignore her, engaging Fred in an animated discussion about next season.

"Hannah," She shouted above the noise. "Can I have a quick word?" I glanced over at her and nodded following her into the hallway. She shut the door behind us and crossed her arms looking at me expectedly. I gulped as I felt my nerves getting the better of me; I could never lie to her.

"I kissed someone," I said quietly. She looked shocked for a moment before the usual Dom smirk came over her face.

"You absolute minx Hannah Marshall," She laughed loudly and I frowned looking around us to make sure no one could hear.

"It's not funny Dom, I shouldn't have done it," I snapped. She composed herself but still look bemused.

"Was it Al?" She asked grinning madly at me, "I've always thought there was something there but you never no-

"No, it wasn't Al," I snapped.

"What wasn't me?" Al asked from behind me. I felt the colour drain from my face and hoped Dom could read the pleading going on in my mind.

"Who kissed Hannah," She smirked over my shoulder. Of course, she was going to put me right in it. I swear I could kill her.

"Who kissed what?" He said giving me a confused look.

"Just ignore her Al, she's just trying to get a rise as per," I joked, rolling my eyes and plastering the fakest smile I could manage on my face. He didn't look convinced but nodded sending Dom a look and heading back into the carriage. Once the door was closed I turned back to my friend and smacked her on the arm.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I hissed, glaring at her with as much annoyance as I could muster.

"Ow," She moaned, rubbing her arm. "Okay so it wasn't Al," She smirked, regaining her composure. "But it's someone you don't want Al to find out about," I closed my eyes and cursed myself; I knew I should never have said anything to her. I could never hear the end of it now.

"Just forget I said anything," I sighed, turning to go back into the carriage.

"Hannah, wait," Dom said placing a hand on my arm to stop me. I sighed and faced her. "Are you okay?" I fought with the real need to break down in her arms and tell her everything but knew it was risky. I plastered on a smile and nodded.

"Yes, I'm just overreacting. You know what I'm like." I smiled, she wasn't convinced.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me you know," She said softly, suddenly becoming serious. I nodded and she sighed wrapping her arms around me in a hug. "I'm going to miss you little one," She said into my hair. I tried not to get upset and patted her fondly on the back.

"I'm going to miss you too," I replied, "Although if you keep calling me little one I may have to kill you," I smiled as she pulled away. She smirked and patted me on the head patronisingly.

"Hannah Marshall, you could be a wrinkly old lady and I will still see you as the nervous looking second year who was as brassy as anything, giving all the seventh year lads a run for their money," She laughed and squeezed my hand fondly. "You coming?" She asked opening the door to the carriage again.

"Need the loo," I lied smoothly. She gave me a last smile before stepping back into the madness. I wasn't in the mood to put a face back on and deal with the madness that was the Weasley family. I headed towards the back of the train to find an empty carriage and sat by the window enjoying the peace and quiet for a moment before going back to my friends. I heard the door open and I turned around to see James standing there looking as dashing as ever, the usual smirk replaced with a look of guilt. I couldn't breathe. It was the first time we had been alone since the incident. He met my eyes and I saw that he was just as embarrassed and confused as I was, his hand running to his hair like it normally did when he was nervous. I pulled my eyes away from him and continued to stare out of the window; he took this as his queue to speak.

"Can I sit down?" He asked softly, I didn't say anything but saw him move to sit in front of me. "Hannah…" He began; I closed my eyes and begged the tears not to come.

"Just don't," I said quietly turning to face him. "Just don't. You made your position very clear." I looked away from him wiping away the tear that had gotten the better of me, not wanting him to see how upset I was. I heard him sigh and looked around to see his head in his hands.

"I'm just sorry," He said after a moment, "I should never have done what I did," I scoffed and looked away from him.

"Which part?" I asked spitefully.

"All of it. I should never have put us in that position and I dealt with it all wrong, please don't think badly of me," He said quietly. We were both quiet for a moment, I could feel myself softening letting my guard down slightly. "I'm just so confused," He sighed, he sounded so broken. I looked at him properly, our eyes bore into each other and I could feel myself melting again, giving into whatever power he had over me. My heartbeat quickened as my gaze flickered down to his lips before I shook my head and stood up trying desperately not to let him get the better of me again.

"I need to be going, the other's will be wondering where I am." I made to leave and he grabbed my hand. The contact sent shivers up my spine; we both stared at our hands for a moment. "Your girlfriend will be wondering where you are," I said quietly bringing my eyes up to meet his gaze.

"I don't care," He said moving his hands to hold my face. I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest.

"James, please…" I said dejectedly. I didn't even know what I was asking for and he knew that. He put his forehead against mine.

"Tell me to stop and I'll stop," He whispered. I shook my head like a petulant child and felt my eyes flutter close trying to avoid the impending situation. "Tell me to stop and I'll stop," He repeated more confidently now, slipping back to his old self. I tried but I couldn't utter that stupid four letter word. All I wanted was him to close the distance between the two of us. "Merlin Hannah," Was the last thing he said before our lips met softly, knowingly, naturally. We knew how to move, he knew how to make my knees go weak. It was perfect, not as desperate as before, but passionate in a different way. I melted into him and he held me close to his body, caressing my back, gripping my hair. I allowed my hands to explore, going underneath his shirt and feeling the goosebumps that I had elicited up his side. It felt like an eternity. He pulled away and peppered my lips with smaller soft kisses.

"What are we going to do?" He said painfully placing his forehead onto mine and closing his eyes. I knew we could never do anything; too many people would get hurt. I felt a tear fall from my eyes as I realised the true weight of what we had done, what we were doing. I knew our desperation had to be put to one side, he knew that too. He wiped the tear away from my eye and kissed my forehead wrapping his arms around me. I felt protected and hopeless. It felt like we were ending before we had even begun.

"Nothing," I said quietly, "We do nothing," I said looking at him. His eyes closed for a moment before he took a step away from me, putting the much-needed distance between us.

"Okay," He agreed. I nodded and neatened myself up before moving towards the door. "Have a good summer, Hannah." He said as I left. I turned and gave him a small smile.

"You too," I said before leaving and making my way back to my friends. I joined the conversation more avidly when I returned, moving my thoughts away from James and trying to focus my summer adventures instead. As we left the train, loaded with our luggage and searching for our parents, Albus turned to us his face screwed up in disgusted.

"Please don't tell me I'm going to be putting up with that all summer," He said grimacing. I followed his gaze and my breath caught in my throat. Cressida currently had her legs wrapped around James and they were kissing so passionately and so blatantly, they were drawing quite the attention. I was aware that we agreed to do nothing but he had been kissing me not over an hour ago, now he was practically shoving this down my throat. I shook my head and could feel myself getting angrier by the second. Luckily Mrs Potter walked straight over to James and smacked him around the back of the head.

"She forgets that that is what she used to do with Dean Thomas," A voice said from behind us. The four of us turned around to see Harry Potter laughing at the situation ahead.

"Dad, that's bloody disgusting," Al said, shaking his head.

"Tell me about it," Ron Weasley's voice said from behind him.

"Dad!" Rose said, jumping over to her dad and throwing her arms around his neck.

"Ron, you know full well that that is what you used to do with Lavender so you can quit it," A stern female voice came from behind him. Hermione wrapped her arms around her daughter before moving to hug the rest of us.

"I best getting going then," I said quickly, not wanting to intrude on the family moment, "I'm leaving tomorrow so mum will want to spend as much time with me as possible," I said making my excuses. I hugged all my friends quickly, trying desperately to avoid Mrs Potter and James currently making their way over to the group.

"Hannah, I've messaged your mum so you're all set to come to ours on the 28th August." Ginny Potter said when she saw me. I saw James looking at his mum confused for a second, before the realisation that I would be saying with them dawned on his face.

"Thank you, Mrs Potter. I'm really looking forward to it," I said trying desperately to move away from James before he could say anything, struggling with my cases.

"Do you need some help dear?" Mrs Potter asked me concerned about how badly I was struggling.

"I'm okay thank you," I said choosing at that moment to drop the bag that contained all of my books, the contents scattering across the floor.

"James, can you help her while we load the car?" Mrs Potter ordered before I could insist otherwise, walking off to join her family. We both stood their awkwardly for a moment before I leant down to pick up my books. James quickly helped me and grabbed my case.

"I don't need your help," I said scornfully.

"If I don't my mum will have another go at me, let's just get to your parents quickly," He quipped, not hiding his own annoyance. I was taken aback for a moment as we walked to the exit.

"Well if you hadn't been sucking face with her in front of everyone then you wouldn't have got in trouble," I said spitefully avoiding his gaze.

"You can't be annoyed at me for that," He said angrily. I scoffed and shook my head.

"This is so messed up," I said.

"You're telling me," He replied.

"Do you have to make it so obvious," I frowned at him; he considered this for a moment.

"I don't know what else to do," He said defeated. He paused for a moment before we reached my parents. "I'm sorry again Hannah," He said. I smiled sadly at him and took my case from his hands our fingers brushing slightly.

"Write to me," I said, surprising myself at the request. He smiled and nodded.

"Of course, enjoy Egypt." He said looking somewhat happier.

"Let's just try being friends," I said.

"Deal," He said holding out his hand for me to shake it.

"Deal," I said shaking his hand and trying to ignore the feeling of our skin touching.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this Chapter. Just to give you guys a heads up there are 21 chapters in total and the current word count is about 125,000. I am hoping to get it all up as quickly as possible. Also, grammar and spelling isn't my strong suit so I do apologise if you find any I've missed, I have tried to fish them all out.

Next chapter will be with you shortly,

Thanks for reading.

Jadeannkneeky