Chapter 9
"She looks bloody awful," It was definitely Fred or was it Al, everything was so confusing.
"I can't believe they both hit her at the same time," Darcy's voice murmured from somewhere near my feet.
"Fucking cheating Hufflepuff's that's why," Definitely Fred that time, a few people responded in agreement.
"Will she be okay?" Lily's worried voice came from near my head.
"Healer Thompson said she got hit really badly and will have to stay here a few days to make sure there is no lasting confounding and for her face to heal properly. I'm sure she will be okay." Rose said from the other side, she sounded really worried. Similar to when Scorpius was in a mood with her because she wouldn't tell him that she loved him. She can be really stupid sometimes, he made it so obvious.
"Let's hope so," Al replied, Merlin he sounded so broken. I could feel that he was sitting on the bed next to me holding my hand. Suddenly I realised what had happened, the match, the bludgers, the pain. I winced, alerting them all that I was awake.
"Should we get someone?" Danny asked, seeing me stir. I tried to move but it was useless. I tried to open my mouth but it wasn't working. After a few attempts, I felt my face come alive again.
"Did we win?" I croaked. I opened my eyes and saw all of the team plus my three friends standing over me as though I was at death's door. "Did we win?" I croaked again, ignoring the pain I could feel on the left side of my face.
"Lily's your superstar, so ask her," Al said smiling at me. My eyes shot to Lily who was holding the fluttering golden ball in between her fingers, smiling proudly back at me.
"Thank fuck," I mumbled, hearing a few people chuckle around me. "Love you Lils," I said happily closing my eyes and giving back into to the sleep I had woken up from.
When I woke up again it was pitch black. I tried to sit up but could barely move from my pillow. My face was hurting badly, giving me a constant stream of a dull ache. I tried to reach over to get some water but my arm couldn't quite manage it. I felt hopeless.
"Do you need some help?" A voice said out of the darkness. James Potter took off his invisibility cloak and walked over to my bed pouring me some water and handing it to me. I stared at him unbelievingly.
"What are you doing here?" I hissed, ignoring the pain that was searing across my face.
"I needed to see you, I'm sorry if I woke you up," He said sadly moving to the vacant chair next to my bed.
"You shouldn't be here, I don't want you here," I tried to sound threatening but it came out more like I was gasping in pain, which I was.
"Then tell me to leave," He said staring at me so intensely I had to look away. I hated him so much but I didn't want him to leave. My emotions were just so conflicting all of the time and all I could really focus on at that moment was how much pain I was in. I didn't have the energy to argue with him.
"I wanted to come earlier but I didn't think it was appropriate," He started. "I needed to make sure you were okay," He added painfully. I didn't respond, just looked straight ahead and hoped my expression was scathing enough to piss him off. The truth was I had a lot of things ready to say to him when the moment came but the pain was getting too much and talking made it so much worse.
"Are you okay?" I didn't respond again. He sighed and made to hold my hand, just as Al had done earlier. I snatched it away spitefully but he got the better of me and took my hand in his. I wavered for a moment allowing him to bring my hand to his lips enjoying the contact again before I shook my head and pulled it out of reach.
"Merlin Hannah that was one of the worst moments of my life seeing you lifeless on the ground. The rational side of me knew you would be okay but for a moment I thought the absolute worst. I don't want to lose you ever and I know I probably already have but even if you are in my life as a friend I will take that over not having you there at all," James rambled his eyes shining with pain and desperation. I sighed and looked away from him trying my hardest to remain stubborn but I could feel my walls breaking as he spoke.
"I am so sorry for what I did to you. There are no excuses; I was a coward and a fucking idiot. The night of your birthday was perfect but after you left I stupidly allowed myself to think about what would happen and all I kept seeing was my family falling apart and you losing your best friends. I got scared and I acted the only way I knew how. I don't know if you'll ever forgive me Hannah but seeing you on the ground made me realise that how I feel for you is worth losing everything for, it is worth fighting for. I want to be with you Hannah, more than anything in the world." He finished his spiel learning across and taking my hand in his. This time I didn't pull away, I allowed him to entwine our fingers together and enjoy the contact between the two of us. I sighed and looked at the broken boy in front of me.
"I am in too much pain to think about this right now James," I whispered, I saw his face fall immediately. "Please don't look at me like that it's not fair," I started.
"I'm sorry, it's just so hard. I have never felt this way about anyone before and I've screwed it up so badly," He said, resting his head in his hands.
"You haven't screwed up," I said after a moment, he looked up at me hopefully. "But you have broken my heart James and now I don't know what to do. I don't want to let you hurt me like that again. I need to protect myself," I said honestly.
"Hannah, I will never ever hurt you again," He choked. "I don't expect you to give me another chance Hannah, but please can we try and be friends again. I don't want to lose you completely. I love you too much." He said kissing the back of my hands.
"I need to rest James, my face is broken and they are worried I might have serious confounding. I am in no fit state to even be having this conversation with you right now. Please let me rest and I will come and find you and speak to you then," James nodded and stood up getting his cloak ready to cover him over again.
"Sleep well Hannah," He said softly, offering me a small smile. I considered him for a moment before returning one back, ignoring the pain in my cheek. He covered himself over and disappeared into the darkness. My mind was reeling from the conversation we had just had, I was so confused about everything and right at that moment, all I wanted to do was sleep. I sighed deeply before closing my eyes and falling back into the darkness.
"Are you sure you are okay? Do you need me to get you anything?" Al said faffing around me for the millionth time that day.
"Al, just stop. I've said I am okay please just sit down and relax a bit." I snapped, moving the cushion over for him to sit next to me. I had come out of the hospital two days later, my face fully healed and the healers confident that there wouldn't be any long-term effects to my memory or senses. Al had been skipping around me like a worried puppy, checking on me every five minutes and trying to helping me even when I didn't need it. I would find it completely endearing if it was so bloody annoying. Rose had gone back to the Rose I know and love and had been joining me in my annoyance at Al, all but ringing his neck on a number of occasions. I had missed all of Monday's lessons due to my injuries and was currently trying to copy people's notes to get up to speed once again. Rose was trying to help me with Transfiguration, however, Al's fretting was getting completely in our way.
"Let's go to the library," She said, as Al tried to speak to me again.
"Great idea," I smiled, closing my work and picking up my bag. Al made to move with us and tried to take my bag from me to carry.
"Al, go and find Scorpius and distract yourself for a few hours," Rose snapped, snatching my bag from him and handing it back to me. "Hannah will be fine, now go." Al looked like he was going to say something more before he sighed and walked out of the portrait hole.
"Thank Merlin he's gone, he is causing more pain than he is helping it," I said following Rose out of the common room.
"I know his intentions are good but seriously he treats you like you are made of glass," Rose said rolling her eyes.
"A bit like Scorpius would if you got hurt," I offered offhandedly.
"Yes I suppose, boys in love are pretty deluded let me tell you," She said flippantly. I paused for a moment touching her arm as she made to walk on.
"Boys in love?" I questioned looking at her curiously. Her eyes widened in shock and I could feel my heart beating loudly in my chest. There is no way she meant what she said.
"No, I didn't mean… Come on Hannah, you know I didn't mean Al," She said trying to backtrack. I didn't buy it.
"Then what do you mean, because it sounded like you were insinuating Al was in love with me," I said crumpling my face up slightly at the thought. I loved Al to bits and he was my best friend but I couldn't even imagine anything other than a platonic relationship with him.
"No not at all, please just forget I mentioned anything. I meant Scorpius being in love with me," Rose said smoothly, gaining her composure. I stared at her for a second before breathing deeply.
"Okay, I mean its Al. I couldn't even imagine it," I said offering an unsteady chuckle. Rose looked worriedly at me for a moment.
"Oh shit its true isn't it," I whispered. She closed her eyes and nodded. "Oh fuck," I said sitting down on a bench and trying to get my heart rate to slow down to normal speed.
"I am in so much trouble," Rose said shaking her head and joining me on the seat.
"My head is spinning," I said, "How, when…why?" I stammered.
"He's liked you for a long time but I think he's only been in love with you for a couple of months." She answered. "Merlin, he is going to kill me. You should probably speak to Al about this," She said shaking her head.
"And say what exactly," I said standing up and pacing, "Oh hey Al, by the way, Rose let slip that you love me and well I don't exactly know what to say about that,"
"Well yes that works, but please leave my name out of it," She replied cringing slightly.
"Shit, that's why he was so annoyed about me cancelling on Hogsmeade the other week," I said smacking my head in disbelief. "I thought we were going just as friends but I think he actually asked me out,"
"Al asked you out?" Rose said shocked, "And you cancelled?"
"I didn't realise," I replied sitting back down next to her. "What am I going to do?"
"How do you feel about it?" Rose reasoned, "You can't do anything unless you think about how you feel."
"I've never really thought about it, to be honest, I mean its Al, he's like my brother-
I cut off midsentence and felt my heart miss a beat; his brother, James, James Potter who I am completely madly in love with. Fuck.
"I need to go," I said standing up and moving to walk away. "I'll catch up with you later Rose,"
"Hannah, please don't hurt him." She called after me. I turned around and looked at her sadly.
"I really think it might be too late for that," I said sadly, she nodded knowingly as if she knew exactly what I was getting at, before walking over to me and wrapping her arms around me.
"Just remember that he was and is your friend before anything else, you'll sort it out." She said wisely. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and gave her a much-needed hug.
"I'll see you later," I said, before taking off down the corridor.
I found him in the great hall doing some homework with friends; laughing and joking without a care in the world. My heart did the usual flip it does every time I look at him, but this time was so much more different. Everything was tainted, everything so wrong. I feel in love with the wrong brother and that was it.
"James, can I have a quick chat?" I said interrupting their conversation. He turned around and gave me the biggest smile possible.
"Of course, I'll see you later guys," He said, biding his friend's goodbye and following me outside and into an empty classroom. We sat across a desk from each other both of us waiting for something, anything to happen.
"So have you been thinking about what I said," James asked as the silence drew on.
"Al is in love with me," I blurted out, unable to stop myself. James was surprisingly calm.
"Shit, did he finally get the courage to tell you?" He said after a moment. I frowned, confused at his reaction.
"What?" I asked.
"He finally told you. Merlin, he's been talking about it none stop for the past three years, I never thought he would actually do it," James said, his brow creasing with worry.
"You knew?" I completely startled at his revelation. James stared at me for a moment before shaking his head.
"Hannah, please don't get the wrong idea-
"You knew all this time," I said my temper rising slightly. I was so shocked. It was bad enough going behind Al's back when we were friends let alone there being the possibility of something else and he knew all along. He knew that his brother loved me and he still did what we did.
"I can explain-
"He will never forgive you," I said scathingly. James nodded and covered his face.
"I know, why you think I've been fighting against it so much. Merlin Hannah, I am a fucking awful person. This was never meant to happen; do you think I wanted this to happen? I thought that's great. Al and Hannah with get married and have babies and it will be really nice because they're best friends and Al is completely in love with her. But no, I am a selfish pig and can't let anyone be happy," He said shaking his head. I gapped at him in shock. I was so annoyed at him but I could see that whatever turmoil I had been going through, it was nothing compared to James'.
"I don't know what to do," I said after a moment. He looked up at me shocked that I didn't push him further.
"What did you say once he told you?" He asked.
"Al didn't tell me, Rose let it slip." I explained. "This is truly messed up."
"You're telling me," James sighed. "Do you feel the same way?" He asked looking at me worryingly, "If you do I will completely back off and support you guys 100%, even if it kills me," He said sadly.
"But you would be so unhappy; why would you do that too yourself?" I said shaking my head at what he was saying.
"Because first a foremost, he is my brother and I love him," James said sounding dejected. I wanted to cry and hide away from the mess I had gotten myself into.
"I can't feel that way about Al," I started, "He is my best friend, he has never given me any clue that he likes me let alone loves me. I love him so much as a brother and besides my stupid heart already belongs to someone else and I think it has for a long time," I said putting my head in my hands.
"What are you saying Hannah?" James asked leaning across the table and pulling my hands away from my face.
"It means that I love you, you idiot," I shouted, "But for fuck sake, you broke my heart and now I am messed up. I still want you in my life but I also want to absolutely kill you." I said slamming my hands down on the table. James moved back a bit startled and was staring at me like I was going crazy. I sighed and leant back, thinking about what to say next.
"If I tell Al that I don't feel the same way then you know what that means?" I said sadly looking at James; he nodded and leaned forward to grab my hand.
"It means that we can't be together," He said defeated. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak without bursting into tears. "For Al," James said simply.
"For Al," I agreed, pulling my hands away and standing up.
"Friends?" He asked hopefully.
"Always," I said smiling at him. I made to leave before turning back to him, "Quidditch practise 7 pm on Friday, don't be late." I said giving him a soft smile which he returned happily. "See you later, Potter," I said closing the door behind me and feeling a sad sense of closure as I walked away.
The next week passed by without any issues. I decided against speaking to Al just yet knowing full well it was going to cause a serious shift in our relationship. Rose was grateful that I hadn't approached the topic with him yet as she was still guilty about telling me. She told me that every opportunity she got that she was trying to encourage Al to tell me as soon as, as well as preparing him just in case I didn't feel the same way.
The team was beyond delighted when James joined us for practise on Saturday, most of all Sam who, despite being incredibly grateful for the opportunity, was relieved to not have to play another first team game. I insisted that he was to stay with our practises and told James to work with him in order to get him up to speed for next year. Our first session was amazing, everyone was playing better than they had all year and we were all looking forward to playing (and beating) Slytherin when we came back from Christmas break.
James and I had been keeping a respectable distance, trying to adjust to the boundaries that came with just being friends. It was really nice being around the James I fell in love with again, although desperately sad, it was good to see him back to the charming, egotistical arse that won me over. We walked back to Gryffindor tower on Friday evening after practise together, staying longer than everyone else to go over some notes. We spent the evening enjoying each other's company again without there being a giant hippogriff in the room. We both knew where we stood and we were somewhat okay with that.
"Have you spoken to him yet?" James asked as we approached the common room. I sighed, hoping that the topic wouldn't come up.
"What do you think?" I said sadly.
"You need to do it Han, you can't lead him on it will only hurt him more." He offered.
"I know," I snapped, "Sorry," I said quickly, seeing his face fall slightly. "The longer I leave it the worse it gets. I don't want to hurt him," I said as we paused outside the fat lady.
"He will be hurt, it's just inevitable," He said simply.
"No shit," I said rolling my eyes.
"Language," The fat lady snapped. I stuck out my tongue and James chuckled. "Are you going to give me the password or what," She said rudely.
"But Hannah," James said ignoring her, "He loves you, he will get over it and you will be better friends than you already are. He is stronger than you give him credit for," He said offering a smile.
"I know," I agreed. "I'm going to Hogsmeade with him tomorrow so I'll talk to him again,"
"Good," James said smiling sadly. "I've got rounds so I'll see you later," He said. I nodded and paused for a moment before throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him closely.
"I've missed you," I said. He looked at me in surprise for a moment before his signature smirk came across his face, "Don't get too cocky," I warned narrowing my eyes slightly, "I still haven't fully forgiven you for the Cressida thing," His face fell.
"Hannah-
"Relax," I said offering him a slight smile, "My mind is too caught up with Al to focus on my own heartbreak and besides I am the other woman, what did I expect," I added sadly, frowning slightly.
"Hannah you know that isn't true," James said reaching out to hold my hand. "You deserve so much better," He said hanging his head slightly. I considered him for a moment before sighing.
"Probably, but we don't really get to choose who we fall in love with do we?" I replied with a sad smile which wasn't returned. We stood there in an awkward silence for a moment. He looked like he was going to say something else before shaking his head and turning to the Fat Lady.
"Liquorish wand," He said, the Fat Lady tutted before opening the door.
"I'll see you later," I smiled as I let go of his hand and walked into the common room resisting the urge to turn around and look back at him.
I woke up the next morning dreading what was to come that afternoon. I pulled on my clothes trying to take as long as I could, desperately trying to avoid the situation I was going to deal with. Rose popped her head around the bathroom door, looking annoyed.
"What in Merlin's name is taking you so bloody long," She asked stepping into the room and leaning against the basin to face me. I tied up my trainers and sat down on the stool.
"I'm going to talk to Al today," I said sadly.
"Oh," Was all she could respond with.
"Exactly," I replied. We both sat there in silence for a moment. "Rose, how do I do this without hurting him? I don't want to lose him." She sighed and came and sat next to me.
"Is there no possibility that you could make it work with him?" She asked sadly. I shook my head dejectedly, "Then, unfortunately, you will probably hurt him. But he will understand in time, you know that."
"I really don't want to do this," I said as she stood up and offered a hand.
"Well the quicker it's over the quicker it's done. I'm here for you when you need me," She said wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug.
We walked into the Great Hall with some friends from Ravenclaw, everyone talking about the Christmas presents they were going to buy from Hogsmeade. I barely offered anything to the conversation, however, Rose kept checking on me looping her arm in mine and calming my nerves the best she could. We stood at the top of the tables, Al waving us over as soon as he entered; he was sitting with Fred and James who gave me the biggest smile. I couldn't return it, I felt awful.
"I'm going to go and meet Scorpius. We will be in the three broomsticks at two so if either of you need anything come and get us," She gave my arm a small squeeze, "You will be okay Hannah, he loves you regardless of anything else. He will just need time, please remember that." I gave her a short nod and walked off down the middle of the table.
"Marshall, you look like you are going to be sick," Fred said as soon as I sat down. I look at James who gave me a sympathetic glance.
"I'm alright, just didn't sleep very well," I offered, trying a small smile but failing miserably. Fred shrugged and got talking to James about a girl he was meeting later on. I poured myself some juice and tried to calm my nerves.
"Are you okay?" Al whispered next to me.
"Not really," I said sadly, not wanting to lie to him anymore than I already was.
"We don't have to go today if you don't want to, we could just stay here." He offered, his voice slightly giving away what option he would prefer to do.
"No it's okay; I'll be fine after some food." I offered him a smile and tried to change the topic on what shops we would go to. James kept sending me worried glances every five minutes that were driving me insane. I was almost relieved when I saw Cressida walking towards the four of us. James had decided against breaking up with her, despite all the problems it caused, I wanted to be annoyed but I knew that really I had no reason to be. He said I should try and find a boyfriend as well as it would be a welcomed distraction for me and make it easier for him and now Albus to get over me. The idea of adding a third boy into the mix at the moment made my head hurt, so I thought against the idea.
"Shall we make a move?" Al said standing up. I nodded and followed him out of the entrance hall. We started walking with the crowds of students towards Hogsmeade in a relatively comfortable silence. It was then that I realised that Al was not acting like himself at all, he seemed just as nervous as I did which did nothing but worry me more. We walked into Honeydukes, picking up our favourite sweets and chocolates, trying to navigate around the third years who were trying to buy everything and everything.
"Sorry, can I just reach behind there...got them!" Al said turning to me triumphantly, his hand full of sherbet lemons. I shot him a smile and looked past him the group of girls who he just spoke to. All four of them were staring at him adoringly.
"Looks like you've got some fans," I whispered as he made his way back over to me at the till. He looked around to where the third year Hufflepuff's were standing and blushed slightly.
"Shut it you," He murmured paying the sales lady. The girls were currently giggling like mad and I couldn't help but laugh at how embarrassed Al had become by the attention. Al had never been one for enjoying the attention that came with his name, instead, he would become embarrassed and try and play down the situation. James, on the other hand, lapped up the attention. He was like a moth to a flame and it was very rare to not see him talking to a group of admirers. They were so different in so many ways. Al quietly endearing and stubborn, James obnoxious and loyal and yet they both, for some unknown, reason fell for me.
"You're Albus Potter," A voice came from behind us. Al and I turned to see one of the girls had walked over to us. Al looked like a deer caught in headlights. The girl didn't wait for a response. "My friend thinks you're really fit," She said pointing to one of the girls in the group, who was now going a deep shade of red. I took to hiding my giggles behind a display of fizzing wizzbies trying really hard not to laugh out loud.
"That's very kind of you thank you," Al stuttered, "I need to go now," He said grabbing my hand and dragging me out the door. As it swung behind us I couldn't help but burst into fits of laughter.
"It wasn't that funny alright," Al said trying to be annoyed but chuckling slightly as well.
"That was bloody fantastic," I said laughing even harder. I gained some composure and stood up straight looking at Al who had a funny expression on his face.
"What?" I asked breaking the tension.
"Let's go for a walk before they decided to go for round two," He said smiling looping my arm in his and pulling me up the high street.
The situation in Honeydukes had calmed down both of our nerves. We were speaking a lot more freely than we had done all week and it was like being back to the old us. I tried desperately not to think about what was to come and just enjoy being with my friend. We came up to a clearing that looked over the hills were you could see one of the towers of Hogwarts in the distance. Al led us over to a bench that was near by and sat down, looking like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders.
"Can we talk?" He said after a minute. I nodded, not trusting my words, and sat down beside him. "I know you know," He said sadly. I gapped at him like an idiot.
"How-
"Rose had been encouraging me more than usual to tell you and I knew something must be up. James confirmed it when I corned him this morning." He said not meeting my eyes.
"Oh Al," I said reaching out to hold his hand. He entwined his fingers in mine and we sat in silence for a moment.
"I didn't want you to find out that way," He said sadly, offering me a small smile which I returned feeling my eyes well up, "I had all these great ideas about how I was going to declare my feelings for you and you would fall into my arms and we would be even happier than Rose and Scorpius, when really I should've just told you back in third year when I fell hard for the Quidditch mad blonde who shouted at me for being mean to his sister who just wanted to hang out with her brother and his friends." He smiled again.
"Has it really been that long?" I asked sadly.
"You are my girl Hannah Marshall," He said grinning at me like a buffoon. I looked at him worriedly, biting my bottom lip and not knowing what to say next. "Please don't worry about anything, I'm not daft." He said running his thumb down the back of my hand. "I know you don't feel the same way, I think I've always known really, but don't write us off straight away," He said, a hopeful glint in his eyes.
"Al, please-
"Just don't give up yet," He said his eyes lowering to my lips and leaning in. I felt my heart beat quicken in panic. I needed to get out of the situation before he kissed me. I jumped back so quickly I nearly fell off the bench; I stood up and wrapped my arms around myself.
"Merlin Al, you are making this harder than it needs to be," I said feeling the tears falling from my eyes.
"I'm sorry Hannah...I just..." He sighed dejectedly, shaking his head and composing himself again.
"Why didn't you say something before?" I all but shouted at him. He looked taken aback for a second before he stood up to face me.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"You have liked me, loved me for so long and didn't act on it. How was I supposed to know any different? You are my best friend, why would I even try to look at you another way and now it's too late," I yelled, tears falling freely down my face.
"I'm too late," He stated sadly looking at me in confusion. I covered my mouth with my hands trying to hold back the sob that was bound to escape as the realisation spread across Al's face. "You love someone else," I nodded sadly and wrapped my arms around myself moving to sit back down on the bench. I didn't dare look at Al; I didn't want to see the pain I was causing him. I heard him sigh and come and sit next to me.
"Do you think we would've ever have worked out? Do you think you could've ever loved me that way?" He asked after a moment.
"Oh Al, I do love you," I said turning to face him offering a watery smile. "You are my best friend, my favourite person in the whole world," He smiled sadly at me. "You had my heart the first time we met on the train; you are the only boy I would ever trust with anything ever. You are my Al and I love you so much."
"But-
"But I think we would've probably killed each other," I said offering a small laugh which he mirrored. "We are too alike, too stubborn, too foolish and far too good at winding up Rose for us to ever work as a couple."
"You're probably right," He said sadly.
"I'm always right," I replied bumping shoulders with him. We sat quietly for a moment.
"I don't want to lose you Al," I said quietly leaning my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my body and kissed my forehead gently.
"I'm not going anywhere Hannah," He said softly, "But I am going to need some time, please understand that," I nodded into his chest and we sat quietly again.
"You are my soulmate do you know that?" I asked looking up at him.
"Of course I do," He replied offering me the cheeky grin that I loved. "Shall we head to the Three Broom Sticks, I think our friends are waiting for us there, no doubt expecting World War 3," We stood up and Al pulled me in for a hug before we made our way back into town. My head felt a lot lighter but my heart ached for the pain Al was going through. Sometimes I just wish I could do things the easy way, but no I have to fall in love with the wrong brother.
"Hey guys," Al said, pulling the chair out for me. Rose and Scorpius looked at us hesitantly for a moment, "Do you want a Butterbeer?" Al asked me. I nodded and watched him walk towards the bar, taking off my layers of winter clothes and trying to avoid my friend's glares.
"How did it go?" Rose asked me after a moment.
"Painful but as well as can be expected under the circumstances." I reasoned looking at Al at the bar. He was doing well not to show how hurt he was but I knew him better than most people, I could see the pain he was in, it made me want to start crying all over again. He walked back over to us with a fake smile plastered on his face and handed me my drink. The four of us sat in an awkward silence for what felt like an eternity.
"Rose, stop looking at me like that," Al snapped out of nowhere. I had been fiddling with my beer mat to even notice what was going on between the two cousins. Al's face was like thunder and Rose looked taken aback for a moment. "I'm sorry, I thought I could handle it but it's too difficult. I'll see you later," Al said standing up and grabbing his coat. My heart broke right there watching him walk away.
"I'll go," Rose said sadly, "Hannah please don't worry about this. Remember, he just needs some time," She said squeezing my shoulder and chasing her cousin out of the door. Scorpius and I sat there quietly for a moment; I could feel my eyes welling up as each moment drew on.
"Have you ended it with James?" Scorpius' asked. I looked up at my friend to see him frowning at me slightly. I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand and sighed.
"Yes, it's over," I replied sadly, taking a sip of my drink.
"Then why can't you be with Al?" He asked sadly. "Do you know how much he loves you?" I tried to ignore the accusation in Scorpius' voice, I knew he meant well but he could clearly see I was upset as well.
"I didn't plan for all this to happen you know," I snapped at him. He looked shocked for a moment, his face softening at my broken expression.
"Hannah, I didn't mean-
"Yes, you did. I wish I could love Al the same way he loves me Scorp but I just can't and now I can't have either of them so please just drop it," I said grabbing my coat and running out the door. It had started absolutely chucking it down and all the Hogwarts students were running for cover in the shops. I stomped my way down the high-street, getting soaked in the process; enjoying the coldness on my skin, drawing my focus away from the pain in my heart.
"Hannah, wait up," Scorpius called behind me. He had magiked his wand to turn in to an umbrella and was running to catch up with me. I paused, against my better judgement, waiting for him. "I'm sorry for what I said. I just don't like seeing any of my friends upset," He reasoned covering us both with the umbrella. "I feel like I've been a shit friend recently," He started.
"I haven't been fantastic either you know," I offered. He smiled at me and we continued walking back up to the school.
"He will be okay you know," He stated.
"I know he will, I just didn't want to hurt him." I sighed.
"Let's hope he never finds out about you and James then," Scorpius said. He had never been one to hide his feelings or opinions, the Slytherin had to come out in him somewhere. Sometimes it could be refreshing but other times, like this one, all I wanted to do was punch him in the face.
"Not helpful," I replied.
"I know," He smiled bumping shoulders with me. "So what happened with you and James?"
"The simple version, he broke my heart, I found out about Al and then we agreed to just be friends," I stated, making it sound a lot less complicated than it was.
"Do you love him?" Scorpius said after a moment. I didn't know what to say to such a blunt question. He had been actively avoiding the topic of me and James since I told him, obviously I realised now because he knew about Al, but even so, I was cautious at his new found interest.
"Why are you so interested all of a sudden?" I questioned. Scorpius sighed and shook his head.
"I've been a shit friend. I knew about what was happening and I was so concerned about Al I didn't for once consider how you must've been feeling in all of this," He said simply. I considered him for a moment.
"Did you tell Rose?" I asked.
"No, she worked out that something was going on and I made dammed sure I didn't confirm her suspicions. I did try and get her to calm down about the situation though and maybe consider your feelings for a change, I think she listened." He said offering me a smile.
"Thank you, I missed her when she wasn't talking to me," I smiled at him.
"So do you love him?" Scorpius asked again. I rolled my eyes at him.
"You don't do subtle do you Scorp?" I joked.
"What gave you that impression?" He said winking at me. I chuckled and remained quiet. "Come on Hannah it's an easy yes or no question," He pushed.
"Yes, I do love him," I sighed. Scorpius let out a heavy breath.
"Oh shit," Was all he could say.
"I know," I replied not daring to meet his eyes.
"Does he love you?" He asked me curiously. I nodded and Scorpius shook his head in what I hoped was despair and not disgust. "What are you going to do now?" He asked as we walked up the steps of the castle.
"Nothing," I replied taking cover in the Entrance Hall.
"But you love each other," He scoffed.
"I know but he broke my heart," I replied trying to get him to understand the situation.
"And yet you still love him?" He said his face screwed up in confusion.
"Saying no to Al meant saying no to both of them. I could never do that to Al and neither could James." I explained. Scorpius sighed and shook his head.
"My father didn't want me to be with a Weasley. He threatened all sorts when he found out, he even threatened to kick me out but he came around and now he loves Rose and he is happy for us," Scorpius said.
"What are you getting at?" I asked him.
"Don't put some else's happiness before your own. Al would want you both to be happy he would come around...eventually," Scorp reasoned flashing me a smile
"And that's why you're in Slytherin and not Gryffindor," I laughed as we walked into the great hall.
"And that's why I'm happy and in love and you're not. You are too darn loyal for your own liking. It would be better to have control over a situation then let it get out of hand like it so easily will," Scorpius said before walking off to sit at the Slytherins table.
He had had such a shift in opinion it completely threw me off. What he said had made sense but I couldn't get the image of Al's face as he left the pub earlier leave my mind. It broke my heart knowing I was the one who had caused that pain and I never wanted to do that again. I sighed and decided against joining some friends on the table, deciding, instead, to go back to the common room and find my broken friend.
A/N: Phew what a bloody Chapter that was! I think it's the second longest in the whole story. Thanks again for reading, I really appreciate all the support.
Did anyone know that Al had feelings for Hannah? I kind of wanted it to be out of the blue, just like it was for Hannah, so apologies if you felt like it came from nowhere but hopefully Al's jealousy makes a bit more sense now.
Next chapter to come soon.
Thanks again for reading,
Jadeannkneeky.
Replies: BigBangVIP - thankyou for your review, I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far :)