Chapter 10

"He's gone to bed," Rose said when I stepped into the common room that evening. It was barely five o'clock and not even dark outside yet.

"What about dinner?" I asked sitting next to her on the sofa. The room was filling up now with other Gryffindor's chatting about their afternoons outside of the castle, the younger students looking at their purchases longingly.

"You know what he's like," Rose said offering a sad smile. "It's a shame you guys couldn't work it out, you'd have been great together," She said added. I tried to ignore the blame I could hear in her voice.

"Believe me, the easier option would be to go for it but down the line, it wouldn't be fair," I sighed. "Should I go and make sure he's okay?"

"Not yet, I think James is with him at the moment anyway," Rose said giving me an odd look, obviously waiting for my reaction. What must she think of me playing the brothers against each other like she thinks I have? I almost wanted to reach out to her, tell her everything that had happened but I knew she would've taken it well. Confirming her suspicions could potentially make me lose her forever and I'd already lost one friend tonight, I didn't want to lose another.

"I'll try and catch up with him later; it might be nice for us two to get back to normal straight away." I said, more to myself than to Rose.

"Well, he might need some space. He was really upset when I caught up with him," Rose said sadly. I breathed deeply and leant back against the chair.

"What a fucking mess," I said quietly. "Can we change the subject please?"

"Yes actually, there was something I wanted to speak to you about," Rose said closing the book that was open on her lap. "Can we go upstairs? It's a bit private." She said, spiking my curiosity. I followed her to the dorm, remembering the countless times we would do this when we wanted to talk about boys. She sat on her bed and crossed her legs which I mirrored the other end, our knees touching. I gave her a smile and cast a muffliato charm around us and turned to face her.

"Do we need chocolate for this?" I asked. We could always tell the type of conversation it was going to be depending on the amount of chocolate the other person requested. Rose looked at me hesitantly.

"No chocolate," She said looking nervous all of a sudden. I felt my eyes widen in shock.

"Oh shit. Are you breaking up with Scorpius?" I asked.

"No, no, no," She said immediately. "Quite the opposite actually," She said giving me a strange look like she was trying to get at something. I gapped at her.

"You're getting married?" I asked in bewilderment.

"No, oh merlin you are going to make me say it," She said taking a deep breathe, "Okay, so we have been talking and we've been together for nearly 10 months now and we have both agreed that we want to take it to the next level," She said really quickly. I stared at her incredulously for a moment before laughing.

"Oh my god Rose, how did you make sex sound like a business agreement," I said laughing loudly.

"Stop laughing, it's not funny," She said laughing slightly and hitting my knee, "Seriously Hannah, I'm really nervous."

"I know I'm sorry," I said composing myself. "Okay, what is there to be nervous about?" I asked.

"Well first off have you seen Scorpius, it's like his cross between a bloody unicorn and a vela, he is seriously beautiful," She rambled.

"Yes and?" I asked trying to suss where she was going with it.

"And? I mean look at me," She said spreading out her arms as if to make the point.

"I still don't see your point,"

"How can I live up to that?" She said sadly.

"Oh merlin, come on Rose you are bloody stunning and Scorpius is nothing in comparison to you and he bloody knows it. He loves you so much Rose, he thinks you are the most beautiful thing to ever walk this planet, trust me there is nothing to be nervous about." I offered, grabbing her hand and smiling madly at her.

"You've had sex?" She asked me bluntly.

"Yes, you know that." I said, thinking about of much I divulged in the letters between us over the summer.

"How was it?" She said looking hopefully at my response. I tried to consider my answer before I told her. I wanted to tell her that with someone you don't love it is fantastic, with someone you love it's out of this world but I knew that telling her this she would know about my true feelings for James and the levels of our relationship together. I didn't want to lie to her; I wanted it to be honest as I could manage. I took a deep breath.

"Okay, please don't read too much in what I am about to tell you because you'll only hate me," I said biting my bottom lip and thinking about my next words carefully.

"Hannah, I would never hate you," She said honestly, "and you don't need to tell me anything you don't want to, I do understand you know." She looked at me with so much honesty I wanted to cry.

"Okay, sex is amazing. When you have sex with someone, like with Jake, it is unbelievable especially when you are both deeply attracted to each other. It does hurt the first few times but it does feel amazing as well." I said explained remembering my first time with Jake, "But merlin Rose, when you love someone and they love you, I can't even put that into words." I said quietly, trying not to meet her eyes. She was silent for a moment.

"When you love someone?" She repeated. I looked up at her to see her staring at me in confusion and nodded.

"Yes, when you have that connection with someone it is the most natural, most beautiful moment," I bit my lip as I saw her comprehend what I was saying, "Please don't read too much into it," I said quietly reaching out to squeeze her hand, she didn't pull away which I saw as a good thing.

"Okay," She said nodding, probably more than she needed to. She was quiet for a moment. "Do you know any spells or anything?" She said obviously trying to change the subject. I allowed myself to relax slightly and shot off the bed over to my own.

"Aha, this is it. The saviour of women everywhere," I said handing her an old copy of Witch Weekly. "Page 24 will tell you everything you need to know, you can thank Dom for that," I said chuckling.

"Oh god, if she knew I was having sex I would never hear the end of it," Rose said flicking through the magazine.

"Oh that's funny actually I was going to write to her this weekend, I might have to include that short anecdote," I said shooting her a wicked smile. She rolled up the mag and hit me on the arm with it.

"Hannah Marshall you wouldn't dare," She said laughing, continuingly hitting me with it.

"Okay, okay," I held my hands up in surrender and moved out of reach. "Anyway, I want to finish my potions essay before dinner so I might head to the library for half an hour if you fancy it?" I said picking up my books and bag.

"I'll meet you at dinner later, I think I have some reading to do here," Rose said holding up the magazine.

"Enjoy," I said with a wink moving to leave the room.

"Hannah," Rose called out. She walked over to where I was standing. "Love?" She asked biting her bottom big nervously.

"Yes, love." I said sadly. I saw her face fall slightly and she let out a sad sigh and wrapped her arms around me.

"Thank you for your help," She said moving back to the bed. I stood there in shock at what had happened but decided to take it as a good sign that she hadn't questioned me further.

"You're welcome, see you later," I replied leaving her in peace.

"Thought I would find you here," James said sitting down opposite me and pulling out his books. It was Sunday afternoon and I had decided to try and catch up on the piles of homework that had built up as the teachers rushed us through the final topics before Christmas. I hadn't managed to speak to Albus the night before; instead he spent the night holed up in his room refusing to come out. I spent the morning with Rose and Scorpius before I got the hint and made my excuses about doing homework, giving them some space. With everything going on with Albus I hadn't had a minute to see James at all, I missed him greatly but every day was getting easier just coping with the pain of not being together instead of trying to act against it or with it, both of us just sitting in the middle.

"Hi," I said smiling at him. It was nice to have no pressure now on our relationship, correction friendship. It allowed the intensity to drop and for us to relax around each without thinking people were going to find out or read too much into us. He offered me a cheeky smile and tossed his hair the way that I loved. I felt my heart pick up the pace and my cheeks blush.

"I like making you blush," He said winking. I rolled my eyes and threw a piece of screwed up parchment at him.

"Friends don't speak to each other like that," I said scowling but offering a reluctant smile.

"They do when they find each other cute," He replied winking again. I shook my head and brought my attention back to my work deciding not to respond.

"Al is okay you know," James said after a minute. I looked up at him.

"So I keep hearing; he still won't speak to me though," I said shrugging, remembering how Al had turned the other way that morning when he saw me coming down the corridor. James sighed and pulled out his work.

"He will," He said sincerely. "Now, Runes essay. I swear to merlin the old bat is losing her mind, do you know how hard that translation is," He moaned.

"Oh give over," I said shutting him up, "I've done harder ones for fun. Weren't you one of the only other students, other than myself, to get 100% in the OWL's exam?"

"Yes but-"

"Is there actually something James Potter can't do, let me call the Prophet immediately," I said loudly, alerting the people around us who shot me a look for disturbing their work.

"Shut up you mad witch," James chuckled. "Help me please,"

"I don't help people who go around calling me a mad witch just to let you know," I said flipping through the book in front of me.

"Pretty please," He begged, his hands clasped in front of him and his bottom lip sticking out. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Give it here," I said with an hand open. He handed me the work he already had done. "Easy, you've translated these two sentences completely wrong, look up the translations for Nordic weather and Ancient Egyptian alchemy it might back a bit more sense," I said circling the parts in his work I was talking about. I handed him back his essay and he gave me an odd look.

"I really want to kiss you," He said after a moment, offering me a sad smile. I stared at him, taking in his expression seeing the desire in his eyes. My thoughts moved to what Scorpius had said the other day, about taking control of the situation. I wanted nothing more than for James to lean across the table and kiss me. Could I have that if I wanted it? Could it be possible? Just as I considered the idea Al's face came into mind, the heartbreak in his expression brought me back to reality.

"James, you can't speak like that. It's not fair," I sighed shaking my head and looking around to make sure no one else had heard. "I'll just go," I said starting to pack up my things, knowing that the situation could get out of hand if he carried on that way.

"I'm sorry, please stay. I'll try harder I promise, I just want to spend some time with you, as friends," He reassured. I looked at him cautiously for a moment, "I promise," He repeated. I nodded and reopened my work, glancing at him now continuing with his essay. He looked so beautiful I wanted to cry but I knew it was for the best. I was lucky to have him here at all, I would much rather have him here as a friend than not at all. I just hoped everything would work out okay in the end.

"James, there you are I've been looking for you for ages," Cressida's shrill voice called from across the hall. We had been in the hall for about two hours sitting in a relatively comfortable silence both of us getting on with our work and enjoying the others company. It felt so refreshing being so close to James for such a length of time without the pressure we had piled on ourselves. We had enjoyed chatting about anything and everything and helping each other with work when we were stuck. It was the first time since all this mess I felt so incredibly relaxed, all for it to come crashing down as Cressida wrapped her slimy arms around the boy in front of me.

"You couldn't have been looking that hard, he's been in here in the whole time," I snapped, letting my mouth run away with me. James glanced at me with a slight smile, Cressida's expression…well if looks could kill.

"I didn't ask for your opinion did I," She said looking me up and down with a hint of disgust. I suddenly felt extremely aware of how disgruntled I looked. My hair thrown bag in a messy bun and I was basically wearing sports clothes. I shot her a look back, not showing her any vulnerability. "You can go now?" She said sitting practically on James lap and dismissing me with her hand.

"Cress, Hannah was here first. We can go somewhere if you want to," James said moving from underneath her and starting to pack his things. He looked like a deer in headlights. He was purposefully not meeting my gaze, obviously feeling as awkward as I was.

"James, it's okay. I want to find Al anyway," I said, not thinking and reaching across to touch his hand to stop him putting his things away. I knew as soon as we made contact I had done the wrong thing. I looked up to see Cressida seething.

"What the fuck is going on here?" She spat between her teeth. I shook my head incredulously and didn't bother responding. "James, why is see touching you?" She said turning on her boyfriend.

"Come off it Cressida, she's my friend," James said rolling his eyes.

"I'll see you later James," I said giving him a small smile. He looked at me sadly before nodding and biding me goodbye. I was almost out of the entrance hall making my way back to the common room when I felt a blow to my back and went flying across the floor, my bag splitting and causing my books, parchment and ink to spill everywhere.

"Shit," I exclaimed, moving around to pick up all of my things. I looked around to see who had hit me and saw Cressida standing down the empty hall her wand drawn on me. She almost ran at me causing me to cast a protection spell which stopped her in her tracks.

"Stay away from him," She snarled, glaring at me on the floor. I just stared back at her in bewilderment. I understood that she felt threatened, with good reason, but she had just attacked me in the middle of school, I was pretty certain that she could lose her headship for that.

"You can't tell me what to do," I said, trying desperately not to sound like a petulant child.

"We'll see about that," She spat, turning around and going back into the hall. I sighed and cleared up all my things, cursing at her for ruining my brand new ink wells. I hastily threw it all back into my bag and made my way back to the common room, trying not to let Cressida's threats get to me.

The first time I saw Albus since the three broomsticks, was when he walked into Transfiguration Wednesday afternoon. I had listened to my friends and decided to give Al the space he needed, with the added hope that I would have bumped into him by now. But alas, no such luck. Hogwarts, in all fairness, was a pretty big place but even so, to avoid someone for five days, even when you have the same meal times is incredible. I sat in my usual space when I arrived, the desk myself and Al shared. I hadn't seen him at all that morning and wasn't holding out hope he would be here. Professor Abbott was about to start her lesson and I had given up all hope when he walked in, looking tired and unkept offering her apologies for being late.

"That's quite alright Mr Potter but you will be spending half an hour with me this evening to make up for it," She said sweetly. He nodded before moving hastily to his seat next to me. I was in so much shock to see him; I didn't know what to say. I mean I had about a million and one things I wanted to say, but I just sat there dumbfounded. Not paying attention to anything Abbott was saying.

"Miss Marshall?" She called a little louder. I pulled my concentration away from Al, who had not even looked at me.

"Yes, sorry," I said trying to remember what the question was.

"Not quite the answer I was looking for, now as interesting as Mr Potter's arrival is I must ask that your attention is on me and not him for the foreseeable future. That is to say unless you want to join Mr Potter in detention this evening."

"No Professor, sorry," I said quickly, trying to ignore the sniggers I could hear around the room. It was very rare that a teacher would berate a sixth year in such a manor, and I could feel my cheeks blushing slightly in embarrassment.

"That's quite alright dear, but final warning. Now I asked you to remind everyone the spell we learnt last week," She said smiling at me sweetly. I liked Professor Abbott a lot but sometimes I did think that she was quietly evil, especially how sweetly she went around handing out punishments; definitely psychotic.

"I can't remember the name of it but I could explain the theory," I said honestly. Even from first year, Abbott always encouraged us to be honest with the gaps in our knowledge.

"Okay, go ahead," She said offering me an encouraging smile.

"We were learning about the history behind transformation in terms of clothing. We learnt the non-verbal spell for changing complete outfits on request, as well as the first three laws of changing appearance which included the sizing, colour and restrictions in materials when changing one's outfit." I explained. She smiled at me and nodded.

"Very good Miss Marshall, five points to Gryffindor, sees what happens when you pay attention," She said giving me a wink, "Now Mr Potter can you help Hannah out with the spell we were practising." I felt Al shift in the chair beside me.

"Mutatio Vestinmenta," He mumbled quickly, without any hesitation.

"Superb," She exclaimed, "Another five points to Gryffindor now…" I glanced to my left and saw Al writing his notes down half listening to what Abbott was saying half doodling in the corner of his page. I looked at his unkept hair and sad expression and wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him.

"Okay, now split into pairs and get practising. Also please try and concentrate, I don't want anyone to be standing there in their underwear," A few people chuckled, "I'm being serious, it happens more than it should. Okay get practising," Abbott clapped her hands and the tables and chairs moved to the other sides of the room out of the way. Al and I stood their awkwardly, both of us wondering if it was a good idea to be partnered up. I looked around and Rose and Scorpius had already moved to the other side of the room, Rose already supporting a green jumper.

"Let's just get on with it," I mumbled, knowing that there was no way I was mastering this spell with how distracted my mind was. Al nodded in agreement still not looking at me and went about practising his spell. We managed to work in complete silence for around ten minutes, Al's jumper now half a t-shirt and my shirt had turned from white to pink but that was it. I tried to make conversation but Al was having none of it. I was getting increasingly frustrated at the situation, not in the least Al's attitude.

"Al, for Merlin's sake, just look at me," I said pulling on his arm as ignored me for the thousandth time.

"Leave it Hannah," He said warningly, still not looking at me.

"Al, please this is killing me," I all but begged. He ignored me again, this time successfully managing to turn his whole top into a t-shirt.

"Al, for fuck sake," I shouted. The class went silent and everyone looked at me, everyone but Al.

"Miss Marshall, I did warn you. You will have detention with me this evening and tomorrow evening for your foul language, 10 points from Gryffindor." She said sternly, moving across the room towards us. "Now I can see Mr Potter is getting there but all you have managed to do is look as though a red sock was washed with your shirt, can I see a demonstration please?" She ordered. I sighed and looked at Al who was still avoiding me. I tried to focus all my attention on the spell but thoughts of Al and James kept popping into my head. I cast the spell knowing exactly what was going to happen before it did.

"Shit," I said quietly looking down at my lack of clothing, my bra doing nothing to hide my dignity. The class was in hysterics. I looked sadly at Al who had finally looked at me, he wasn't laughing and instead just looked at me with so much pity I wanted to smack it out of him. Professor Abbott tutted and undid the spell.

"Every year," She moaned, "I think that's enough spell work from you today Miss Marshall. As extra homework I want you to practise the spell, preferably in your own room, and show me a complete outfit change next lesson. For the rest of the lesson, I want you to copy up in detail the laws of appearance and tell me why we need them. Mr Potter can you go and join another group please." She said moving on to another pair. The rest of the class and calmed down and were continuing their magic, Al and I just stood there looking at each other.

"What are we going to do?" I asked sadly.

"I don't know," he replied after a moment. He sighed and walked over to Rose and Scorpius, both of them staring at us with a pained expression. I shook my head and walked over to an empty desk to start my work.

"Hey Hannah," Rose called out from behind me. I had just finished Ancient History Club and was making my way to dinner before going to my detention that evening. I stopped and waited for her to catch up to me. "Are you okay? I didn't get a chance to speak to you after Transfiguration."

"What do you think?" I said, continuing to walk to the Great Hall.

"It was pretty bad, I'll give you that," She agreed.

"You're telling me. Al wouldn't even look at me let alone speak to me," I protested.

"He will come around," She started.

"Everyone keeps saying that but he literally didn't want to be near me today," I moaned.

"It will be okay, I'm sure of it. You two are such good friends." She said sadly. "I've already eaten so I'll catch up with you in the Common Room later?" She said walking in the direction of the Gryffindor Towers.

"Sure," I called after her, thankful to be left alone.

I hurried through my dinner, grabbing on apple as I left and ran to the fifth floor trying desperately not to be late for my detention. I nearly ran straight into Al as I plummeted down the hall way to the classroom.

"Hi," I said nervously.

"Hi," He replied, not smiling but not frowning either. "Abbott has set a timer in the classroom and we aren't allowed to leave until it's over. She has about 100 books that need cleaning so we best get on with it." He explained bitterly before moving into the empty room. I followed him in and sat on the desk next to him, both of us making a start on the books.

We continued like this for nearly 20 minutes before the tension was becoming unbearable. I pulled my book over to Al's desk slamming them down in front of him and dragging a chair so I could sit opposite him. He stared at me dumbfounded for a moment before continuing to ignore me.

"Look, we are going to be in here for at least another half an hour so we might as well clear the air," I said sitting down and continuing with my books.

"I don't want to talk," Al snapped quickly.

"Al, stop being so bloody stubborn," I snapped back at him. He threw me a look and continued to ignore me. I sighed deeply, regretting instantly having a go at him. "Look, I am so fucking sorry." He glanced at me, "I never want to hurt you, Al, ever. This is the last thing I wanted. Do you not think I wish I could feel the same way? Do you not realise that I know how perfect it would be for us, but you know me Al, when have I ever done the easy option." I bit my lip nervously, not knowing whether or not to continue, not knowing how far I could push him.

"It just hurts," Al said sadly. "I have been crazy about you for a long time and all for nothing,"

"Not all for nothing Al," I said offering him a small smile, "In a perfect world yes it would've worked but Al you know full well we would never work. You're too stubborn and I'm too whiny, we would've driven each other insane and then we run the risk of losing each other completely and I don't want to lose you Al," I said sadly reaching across and holding his hand. He studied me for a moment.

"I think I knew you didn't feel the same way." He revealed. "I think I was trying to kid myself for the most part, but deep down I knew. Remember how Rose and Scorpius would always talk to us about each other and we would sit there laughing about how stupid they were that they hadn't realised?"

"Yes, I remember," I said with a small smile, remembering the evenings me and Al would just sit there and talk for hours on end.

"Rose never once even hinted that you had spoken to her about me and I know she would've told me. I think she wanted us to get together as much as I did," He explained.

"I'm so sorry Al," I said again.

"You don't need to be," He replied giving me a small smile, "I'm sorry for ignoring you today and making you lose your clothes, it was pretty shit of me to leave you in the dark like that."

"Well yes, but it was also bloody hilarious," I said with a smirk.

"You'll never live that one down you know," He smiled.

"I know, I would be embarrassed but I was so caught in how you were feeling I didn't have any room to feel anything else," I offered, continuing to clean the pages of the books.

"Maybe that was for the best," He joked. I tapped him lightly on the arm and gave him a beaming smile.

"I'm glad we're speaking again," I smiled.

"Me too," He said with a wink, "Anyway, is it too soon for me to ask about the guy that beat me to it?" He said with a wink. I felt my face pale instantly and tried desperately to regain composure.

"You don't know him and you have nothing to worry about. It's never going to happen," I rambled quickly.

"Don't say that on my behalf, I'll get over it," He offered.

"It's not that," I paused trying to choose my next words carefully, "It's just complicated,"

"Okay," Al replied, thankfully leaving it at that and changing the topic onto something else.

A/N: Thanks for reading and all the follows and favourites, it means so much you guys are enjoying this story. We are about halfway through now, so loads more drama to come!

Thanks again,

Jadeannkneeky