Chapter 13

I apparated onto my front step, looking around making sure I hadn't alerted any of the neighbours. I opened the front door using my wand, making quick work of the alarm system as I stepped through the door. The last time I was here I made a point of showing my mum just how easy it would be for a wizard to break in and offered to put up further protection, she refused point blank and was completely bewildered as to why I thought a wizard would want to break into a normal muggle house. I shook my head at her wishing sometimes she would trust my judgement, even if it was so I could sleep easier at night.

I made my way into the kitchen, kicking off my heels and filling up the kettle hastily trying to distract myself. I waited for the kettle to boil and sat on one of the kitchen stalls in the half-light, playing with the necklace around my neck feeling relatively calm about what was happening. I knew that what we were doing was dangerous and would definitely cause some suspicion at the party, and I just hoped that Albus would be too drunk to realise that both his best friend and his brother had left the party without reasonable excuses. This was our final chance to be unapologetically together, to pretend one more time that the cards we had been dealt were in our favour and what we were about to do wouldn't damage the one person we both loved dearly.

The kettle boiled, the noise making me jump out of my skin. I pulled to mugs out of the cupboard and made tea the muggle way, not trusting myself to use magic when I was so distracted. I placed both mugs on the side and sat back in the stall waiting for James. It was half an hour to midnight, to the New Year, time was moving so slowly it was driving me insane. The more I sat there alone, the more my mind wondered making me doubt everything, bringing up unwanted memories and heartbreak. I sighed deeply and took a swig of my tea, nearly dropping it when I heard the front door open.

"In the kitchen," I called out into the darkness. I waited with baited breath as the kitchen door opened. "Rose, what are you doing here?" I asked shocked as the redhead appeared in the doorway; Scorpius behind her looking worriedly at the situation.

"Did you really trust Dom to lie for you? You know she's rubbish at keeping her mouth shut, thankfully it was only us she spilt the beans to," She sighed sitting down on the stall in front of me and grabbing the tea that was meant for James.

"But why are you here?" I repeated again, not really in the mood to hear the lecture she was bound to give me.

"Why couldn't you just tell me?" She asked sadly. "I've known for so long and yes I was fucking fuming when I first realised, but Merlin Hannah I am your best friend. I've told you everything about Scorpius, I trusted you enough. Why couldn't you just tell me?" She said shaking her head. I could see that she was quite upset and leaned across the breakfast bar to grab her hand.

"I didn't want you to have to lie to Albus for me," I said sincerely. "And I was so scared that I would lose you, that you would hate me forever. In my head I just needed to keep you, Al and James separate, for my own sanity," I explained.

"You wouldn't have lost me Hannah," I rose my eyebrows at her unbelievingly; "I'm here now aren't I?" She retorted.

"Yes, but only to tell me to come back to the party," I mumbled.

"Not true," She frowned, "Hannah…I want you to be happy." She said reaching across the table and pulling my hand back into hers. "We had a chat last night," she admitted, glancing at her boyfriend.

"You told her," I said turning to Scorpius, not really annoyed but still on the defensive.

"No, he didn't. You know how loyal he is," Rose explained, "We just got on the topic and I told him that I knew that he knew and I basically guessed everything,"

"I would never break a promise Hannah; I just wish I had been more supportive to you. I was so conflicted with you and Al and wasn't sure what to do. But then you told me that you loved James and now…well...my opinion, our opinion has changed." He explained with a soft smile. I looked confusedly between the both of them.

"If I couldn't be with Scorpius Hannah, I don't know what I would do," Rose said softly. "Even if that meant breaking someone's heart I was close to, I would because what I have with Scorpius is more than I could ever have imagined. Sometimes, we have to put ourselves first." She explained so sincerely, so honestly, it made me want to cry.

"What are you saying Rose?" I said wearily.

"If you love James, if you want to be with him, then you should and I will support you in that decision," She said quickly.

"But Al-

"Albus isn't sure what he wants, we both know that." She sighed. "You will break his heart that's for sure and he and James will struggle for a while but I have no doubt he will see how much you love each other and he will come around eventually," She said with a soft smile.

"But I can't do that to him Rose, he's my best friend, he's James brother," I said feeling tears falling down my cheek. "We are going to tell him," I said finally.

"That's good, it will be better out in the open," Scorpius said nodding.

"No, no. We are telling him everything that's happened, but in order to do that, in order to get him back we have to end it." I explained sadly.

"But, Hannah, what we're saying is that that doesn't have to be the only option," Rose implored.

"It is the only option Rose. If I can't have both of them then I can't have either of them, it's the only way that will make their relationship work." I sighed, wiping my tears on the back of my hands. "It's the way it has to be," I saw Rose and Scorpius glance at each other looking somewhat defeated.

"Well I'm here for you when you need me, always," Rose said moving around the table to wrap her arms around me. We both heard the front door go and James Potter came walking through the kitchen door.

"Oh," He said, his face falling in shock at Rose and Scorpius.

"It's okay," I said offering him a watery smile. Rose sighed and kissed the top of my head, moving back to her cousin.

"You are so bloody stupid," She said wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a hug. James looked surprised for a moment before reciprocating the hug. "I swear to Merlin James Potter if you break my girl's heart again I will curse your dick off," She said frowning at her older cousin, who looked worried for a moment, before gaining composure again.

"I love her Rose," He said sincerely, looking down at his cousin who pulled him back in for a hug.

"Please just consider what we've said," Scorpius said walking over to me and hugging me tightly, "We want you to be happy as well,"

"I know, just you guys being here for me is enough," I said simply smiling at the two of them.

"Okay let's go Scorp, let's leave them to it," Rose said holding her hand out to Scorp. "I'll see you tomorrow Hannah," She said kindly bidding me goodbye. They moved into the hall and we heard them disapparate together. Silence fell between the two of us.

"What was that about?" James asked moving around the kitchen and leaning against the work surface. I sighed and jumped off my stall to stand in front of him.

"It's a long story, I'll explain in the morning," I said wrapping my arms around myself, suddenly feeling the nerves that had subsided come over me again. James pushed off the counter and moved towards me pulling my arms free and holding onto my hands, leaning his forehead onto mine.

"Hi," He whispered softly, giving me the biggest smile possible.

"Hi, yourself," I said back, unclasping our hands and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Is this even real?" He said closing his eyes briefly. "You are so beautiful," He said opening his eyes again and looking at me with so much passion and intensity it made my knees go weak.

"Do you know how long it's been since we've even kissed?" I asked quietly, glancing down at his lips.

"The worst two months of my life," He smiled, seeing me blush slightly. "I've missed you Hannah," He said quietly.

"I'm right here," I said, lifting his head to meet his eyes. "I love you," He brought his hands either side of my face.

"I love you," He whispered. I felt my eyes drift close as he moved closer to my lips, catching mine in his and kissing me softly, carefully, lovingly. It was all so perfect I wanted to cry. I wrapped him tightly in my arms and moved my hands into his hair, intensifying the kiss making us both breathless. We pulled away for a moment just looking at each other before I held out my hand and guided him to the stairs. He pulled me into my room, kissing me so passionately, so perfectly. Our hands hurried to pull at each-others clothes, not wanting to break apart for even a moment. He moved me to the bed, moving over me as he peppered my shoulders and neck with kisses just as the fireworks went off outside.

"Happy New Year, Hannah," He smiled down at me.

"Happy New Year, James," I said pulling him down and catching his lips into mine once more.

Light shone through the window, stirring me awake. I was very aware that I wasn't wearing any clothes and that there was another person lying next to me. Thoughts of the night before shimmered behind my eyes making me smile as I opened them and saw a sleeping James Potter lying so close next to me, our bodies intertwined, our breathing in sync. I sighed, so content I thought my heart was going to burst. I leaned over and kissed up and down his arms, a beautiful smile coming across his face.

"Morning," He whispered, not opening his eyes but smiling contently.

"Morning," I whispered into his shoulders, carrying on kissing him softly on every bit of skin I could manage.

"You're stepping in dangerous waters if you carry on kissing me like that, Marshall," James said, waking up and flipping us over.

"Hi," He smiled, looking down at me.

"Hi yourself," I giggled, leaning up and kissing him softly on the lips.

"How is it, you are even more beautiful in the morning," He groaned, rolling over onto his back staring at the ceiling in bewilderment. I giggled again and climbed on top of him.

"How is it that your hair can get even wilder, I didn't think that was bloody possible," I said laughing ruffling his hair.

"You cheeky sod," He said leaning up and tickling me. I screamed loudly, laughing madly, falling onto the bed beside him. "Take it back and I'll stop," James laughed, pinning me down and tickling me more.

"Okay, Okay, I take it back you idiot," I cried breathlessly from laughing. He punched the air in triumph and lay back on the pillow just looking at me fondly. I pulled the cover over us both and rolled over to face him. He reached across to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear leaving his hand pressed against my face affectionately. I kissed his palm gently and sighed happily.

"I love you," He said softly, his eyes ablaze with passion.

"I love you too," I said, without missing a beat. I leaned onto my arms and kissed him softly on the lips, relishing in the feeling, "Breakfast?" I asked jumping out of bed and throwing on an over-sized top.

"You took the words right out my mouth," He smiled.

We moved downstairs, James wrapping his arms around me from behind making it difficult to walk but I didn't complain. I started making breakfast as he sat on one of the stalls watching me with a strange expression on his face. I grabbed the eggs out of the fridge and stuck my tongue out at him, making him chuckle.

"I could get used to this," He said softly. I smiled at him and tried to ignore the pressing worry of the reality we were going to have to face.

"Me too," I said finally, deciding to not break the dream just yet. I served us up eggs on toast with a glass of orange juice. We eat in comfortable silence both of us only approaching light topics, both of us avoiding the elephant in the room. We cleaned up together, being sure to make it look like no one had been there as to alert my parents.

"Did you mean what you said?" I asked, putting the clean plates away in one of the cupboards and sitting up on the work surface.

"I've said a lot of things, you might need to be more specific," James said, pushing himself off the cupboard to stand in between my legs, kissing my gently on the lips.

"That you could get used to this," I said quietly; deciding to look more at his chest than his face, not wanting to see his expression. What Rose had said the night before had resonated with me and waking up this morning with James made me realise just how much I wanted this to be my future, regardless of who it hurt. For once, I was questioning whether or not to put myself first.

"What do you mean?" He said pulling back slightly frowning, looking confused.

"I mean, do you think that we could have this one day?" I asked, meeting his eyes trying to decipher what he was thinking.

"Hannah, you know full well we can't think like that-

"I know, I know. But if you could have it would you want it?" I asked lowering my head again. He placed a finger under my chin and tipped my face up to his.

"More than anything in the world," He said simply, offering me a sad smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "But-

"I know, I know. It's just what if we held off for a bit, telling Al that is, and instead of telling him what we have done we just tell him that we love each other and that we are together," I said quickly. James frowned and stepped back from me, making me regret my words completely.

"Where is this coming from?" He asked.

"When Rose came to see me last night she just opened my eyes to different options that we might have. She told me that if it's worth fighting for then we should put ourselves first. I want to fight for us," I said confidently, hoping that James would feel the same way.

"But we can't," He said shaking his head, "I don't understand where this is coming from. You said literally days ago that when we told Al then that was it, you couldn't have either one of us without losing the other," James said frowning at me, looking at me like I was speaking a different language. I felt my stomach drop, cursing myself at why I decided to open my mouth in the first place.

"James-

"No Hannah," He interrupted, moving across the kitchen away from me. "No Hannah, we can't think like this, it isn't fair to anybody." He all but yelled across the room.

"What about us James? Why is any of this fair on us?" I shouted jumping off the counter and squaring up to him, angry tears in my eyes.

"We can't have this conversation," He spat trying to move around me.

"No, we need to have this bloody conversation," I yelled moving in his way, "Look at me god dam it," I shouted. He stood still and glared down at me. "Am I not worth fighting for?" I cried, my voice echoing around the room, us both standing there breathless. I was so scared about what James was going to do next, but I stood my ground and waited for him to speak.

"Fuck," He yelled. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. In a second he was kissing me widely, passionately, leaning me up against the door, grinding into me, pulling at my hair, kissing down my neck. I felt like I was going to explode. He leaned his forehead against mine, both of us trying to catch our breath. "Of course you are worth fighting for," He said kissing my lips softly. I smiled and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, jumping down from where he had pinned me against the door.

"That's all I was looking for," I said standing on my tip toes to kiss him again. "Can we just hold off a few days telling Al? Just so we can decide exactly what it is we are going to tell him, whatever we decide." I asked.

"Okay," He sighed. "I should probably head back, mum and dad will be wondering where I went. Are you coming back around later?" He asked.

"Of course, I think Dom just told everyone I was poorly. So I'll just make something up," I said shrugging. Just then I heard the front door go, I frowned at James looking past him to see the shape of Albus Potter standing outside my front door. "Shit!" I cursed, looking back at James whose expression mirrored the panic in mine.

"Hannah are you there?" Al called through the door. I was so fucking thankful he couldn't do magic outside of school yet otherwise he would've walked straight into the kitchen.

"Just a second Al," I called, hoping my voice came out as normal as possible. "Go upstairs, grab your things and apparate from the cupboard in the bathroom, he won't be able to hear from down here," I said to James, trying to gain some composure. He nodded and ran up the stairs as I walked to the front door, taking a deep breath before opening it.

"Hi," I smiled, hoping that I was successfully masking the panic I was feeling.

"Hi," Al said frowning at me as he took in my appearance. "Do you always forget to put trousers on when you answer the door?" He laughed moving past me and into the kitchen. I cringed inwardly, pulling on the bottom of my top in hope to gain some modesty.

"You've seen me in my underwear, so personally I feel like this is an improvement," I said smoothly. Al chucked and considered me for a moment.

"You don't look very ill, you know Dom is a shit liar," He said helping himself to an apple from the fruit bowl.

"I know, I just wasn't feeling up to the party. It was too loud and I was so tired, I thought it would be best to come home rather than be a buzzkill," I said with a shrug. I started feeling a panic rising in me, something told me Al knew something and it made me feel sick.

"So you spent the night alone," He questioned, staring at me with a blank expression.

"Of course I did Al, what are you actually getting at?" I frowned.

"So why are there two mugs," He said pointing at the countertop where mine and James coffee cups were still left out. I felt my eyes widen in shock and I reached across the counter to get them, washing them quickly as if to get rid of the evidence.

"Rose came to check on me last night, I made us a drink," I said smoothly, hoping he hadn't seen my immediate panic.

"Okay, I'm going to ask you outright." He said frowning and moving towards me. "I won't be angry but I want to know the truth."

"Okay," I replied nervously, biting my lip in worry. My heart was beating out of my chest with panic, I felt like a deer caught in headlights.

"Do you have a secret boyfriend you aren't telling me about?" Al asked seriously.

"What…what makes you think that?" I stuttered.

"Well, the two mugs, the necklace and earrings from a friend from home, the fact that you told me that you were in love with someone," He said with a sad smile. I thought for a moment whether or not to deny the whole thing, tell him that he had got the wrong end of the stick, but I knew that I could use this to my advantage, so I nodded in response. "I knew it," Al said triumphantly.

"You aren't annoyed," I asked.

"Well I'm annoyed you didn't tell me, but no not that you have a boyfriend Hannah, I'm happy if you're happy," He said smiling at me. I felt my heart beat return back to normal again. "Do I know them?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"No you don't; no more questions." I snapped. Al looked crestfallen but didn't push. "Is that why you're here?" I asked him.

"I was worried about you," He said honestly, "Dom and Rose said you were okay but I wanted to check myself." He said smiling. "Also I missed you last night," I wanted to die on the spot. I couldn't even believe I was considering breaking his heart into a million pieces. I could feel the tears filling up in my eyes, I suddenly felt so guilty about everything; it hit me in one go. Would I really be able to put my own happiness before Al's, knowing that in doing so, I would break his heart completely?

"I missed you too," I said with a smile, hoping he didn't notice my tears. "I'll go and get ready and then we can go back. I've only done side along apparition once so it might be a bit rusty," I said offering him a smile.

"No need, I've got a Portkey," He said. "We've got about 15 minutes before it goes back," Al said checking his watch.

"How have you got a Portkey?" I asked incredulously.

"Hannah, are you forgetting who my dad is?" He said rather embarrassedly. I offered him a warm smile and shook my head.

"Might need to remind me of that one again," I said with a smirk.

"We've now got twelve minutes and if you don't want to be standing in front of the said father not wearing any trousers I suggest you get a move on," Al joked. I laughed and ran up the stairs to grab my things, checking that James had gone home and trying to ignore the feeling of dread in my stomach.

A/N: Thanks for reading, hoped you liked this chapter.

I think this chapter is one of my favourites, especially for the James and Hannah scenes. I think we definitely see them at their best here.

Also, thank you for all your lovely reviews on the last chapter, I'm glad so many of you enjoyed it!

Chapter 14 to follow soon.

Thanks again for reading,

Jadeannkneeky