A/N: Just a heads up and warning!
There will be some scenes in this chapter that people might find upsetting; scenes of moderate violence and abuse (bullying) and quite a lot of swearing so please take caution.
Chapter 14
"Merlin, I am glad to back here," Al sighed as he stretched out across the sofa in the Gryffindor common room. I pushed at his side to get him to move over before sitting down next to him. We had had a fairly relaxed day at the Potters after the party, playing games and packing once again to return back to Hogwarts. Since I had arrived back to the Potters, James and I had barely been in the same room let alone had five minutes alone together. Lily had realised that we had left the party together the day before and made it her mission not leave me alone all day.
Once again, my mind was all over the place. Before Rose and Scorpius had opened my eyes, I had never even envisaged James and I being together. It was something I had always dreamed of but the idea that we could make it a possibility had always been beyond the realms of reality. Backing James into a corner that morning, asking him whether or not I was worth fighting for, made it all the more real. Hearing him say those words was the news I didn't know I wanted to hear. I thought back to the morning and the night before, the idea that we could be something, that we could be together, was something I couldn't even comprehend. If only I could stop thinking about Al.
Only a month ago Al had told me that he had been in love me. I couldn't help but think that it was far too soon to tell him that I was actually in love with his brother; I just couldn't bring myself to cause Al that much pain. When he walked into my house that morning, knowing that James was upstairs, knowing he had been seconds away from walking in on us, I couldn't help but think that what we were doing, had been doing, was so unfathomably wrong. Should we fight for something that is so wrong? Should we fight for something that would cause Al so much heartache, so much pain? Could I do that to my best friend?
"What the fuck is going on?" Rose demanded, corning me in the bathroom on the Hogwarts Express. She had been glaring at me the whole train journey and I had been avoiding her like the plague; she knew something was wrong.
"I needed the toilet," I quipped, walking around her to wash my hands.
"Don't be silly Hannah, why are you sitting in that carriage like the weight of the world is on your shoulders." She said. "You're bumming me out, what is the problem?" I sighed and shook my head.
"I don't know what to do?" I exclaimed. "I spoke to James about giving us ago and we both agree that want to fight for this but when Al came around this morning to check on me, I couldn't do. I could never do it to him Rose, it would kill him." Rose sighed loudly and shook her head.
"You sound like a bloody broken record," She snapped. I shot her a look and her face softened slightly. "But what if James moves on and finds someone else to love. That would kill you," She stated simply, even the idea of James loving someone else made me feel sick. It was bad enough seeing him with Cressida, let alone someone he actually cared about. "Exactly," She said taking in my expression.
"I don't want to deal with this," I said running my hands over my face in frustration.
"The Hannah I know would not admit defeat to this, the Hannah I know would go very much out of her way to get what she wants," Rose said with a frown, "If you want him Hannah, get him." She said. She made it sound so simple. I shook my head and sighed, deciding against arguing with her further and moving back into the carriage. I sat next to Albus, knowing that no one would be able to talk to me about James if he was around.
"I hope it's a better term than the last one," I said throwing my feet across his lap and stretching across the sofa. The common room had begun to fill up as everyone waited to go to dinner.
"If you stop having a go at everyone it might be," He laughed. I kicked him gently on the leg causing him to laugh more.
"You guys coming to dinner?" Rose asked as she walked past us.
"Yep, coming," I said, jumping up and grabbing my cloak.
"I'll catch you guys up, I think mum put my cloak in James' case, I'll go and check his room," Al smiled, holding a hand out for me to pull him up off the couch. I smiled and took his hand, heaving him up as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "See you in a minute, don't miss me too much," He said with a wink as he made his way up the stairs. I gave him one last look as I walked out of the common room with Rose, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling that was settling in my stomach.
Rose thankfully didn't bring up our conversation on the train instead deciding to quiz me on my plans for the Quidditch team, we didn't have an official match until after Easter only having friendlies with our reserve team, which weren't overly important but always good fun. We made our way into the hall saying hello to people we hadn't seen over Christmas and sat down in the middle of the table, joined by a pleather of Weasley's and Potters including James who came and sat right next to me. Lilly shot us a look but thankfully didn't say anything as the feast began.
"I've broken up with Cressida," James whispered to me as everyone started to help themselves to the delicious food. I nearly spat my food everywhere from the shock. I turned to him, my eyes wide. "I'm serious about this Hannah," He said with a soft smile, I returned it wearingly.
"We'll talk later," I said softly. He nodded at me and turned his attention to Rose.
"Where's Al?" James asked as the deserts were being served, alerting us both to the fact that he hadn't turned up yet.
"He said he was going to your room to find his cloak or something, he must've been side-tracked," Rose said glancing towards the doors. I frowned, also looking to see if he had appeared, my stomach turning slightly as the uneasy feeling grew. Something was wrong.
"I wonder where he's gone, it's not like him to miss dinner," I frowned. James shrugged and helped himself to a slice of apple pie. I looked down the table to see if I could spot Kate, she was sitting up the other end with her friends. I glanced over at the Slytherins to see if he was with Scorpius but Scorpius was sitting with the usual group. He glanced over to me and Rose and saw our worried expressions.
"Al?" Rose mouthed to him. Scorpius glanced around the room briefly before shrugging and continuing to eat his food. "He's probably just been side-tracked, you know what he's like," Rose said out loud, her forehead creasing in concern. I nodded in agreement but couldn't help the unnerve I could feel running through me, something wasn't right. As the last of the plates were cleared away, the Weasley/Potter clan and I walked back up to the common room, joined by Scorpius who had rounds with Rose that evening. As we turned onto a busy corridor where the Ravenclaws and Gryffindor's went their separate ways, I spotted Al standing in the middle of everyone his face clearly upset, staring down at whatever was in his hand.
"James," I said pulling on the older Potter's arm and pointing at Al ahead of us. The panic in me making my heart beat widely. James followed my gaze and his face went white immediately, both of us frozen to the spot.
"What's the hold up?" Rose said, coming up behind us. I pulled on James' arms bringing his attention back to me as the hall filled up.
"James, what is it? What's he got?" I said desperately, knowing the answer before the words even left his mouth. James shook his head in disbelief, his face white in panic.
"The letters," He whispered. I stared at him, my heart beating so loudly I could barely hear what was going being said around me.
"Guys, what's going on?" Rose said impatiently.
"He knows," Was all I could manage, I saw her face drop instantly. We both stared up the corridor to where Al was watching me and James, his eyes red and puffy and his face screwed up in pain. He knew, that was it, I had broken his heart.
"We can't do this here. Scorpius you need to try and move Al, this doesn't need an audience. We'll find you on the map." Rose said sternly trying to take control of the situation. Scorpius nodded walking over to Al who still hadn't looked away from me and James. Al refused to move as the corridor filled up around us, he continued to stare at the two of us like he'd never seen us before. I so badly wanted to wrap him in a hug, to be near him and tell him it was going to be okay. I started to walk towards him as James held out an arm stopping me in my tracks. Everything was in slow motion as James made his way over to Al, looking as though he would rather be anywhere else. People around us had started to sense that something was wrong and were looking between the two brothers with interest.
"Al," James said hesitantly. "It isn't what it looks like," He said sadly, hanging his head in shame.
"And what the fuck does it look like exactly, big brother," Al snarled, the students in the corridor had all stopped to listen now. Lily rushed across to her brothers, standing between them.
"Al, you don't want to do this here," Lily reasoned with her brother. Al looked at her in disbelief.
"You knew," He said quietly, she looked taken aback for a moment before nodding guiltily and turning to face James, glaring at him.
"Happy now," She said sadly, stepping out of the way and into the crowds. Al looked even more broken than before.
"Who else knew?" Al said quietly to James.
"It doesn't matter," James despaired.
"OF COURSE IT FUCKING MATTERS," Al shouted, his voice echoing around the corridor. He looked about ready to hit his brother, "Of course it matters, who else has been lying to me, besides my best friend and my brother," He yelled. I felt the tears falling down my face in utter disbelief at what was happening. It was so much worse than I could ever have imagined. James didn't respond just stood there staring at his brother.
"Al," I said quietly, moving in front of him reaching out for his hands. He snatched them back quickly and glared at me. "It isn't what it looks like," tears falling down my cheeks.
"What so you haven't been fucking my brother?" Al spat. I closed my eyes and hung my head in shame as I heard the gasps from the students around the hall way.
"Please let us explain," I begged desperately.
"I don't want to hear what you have to say, you fucking liar." Al hissed glaring down at me. My body was screaming at me to run, telling me that this was never going to end well. But stupidly I tried to stand my ground knowing it was no good, knowing he would never listen.
"Al, please let us explain," I pleaded with him.
"Guys, we should probably move this somewhere more private," Fred Weasley said walking over to us, eyeing the crowd we had drawn around us with concern.
"I'm not going anywhere, let me guess you knew as well," Albus spat at him. Fred sighed and glanced at James who looked on the verge of tears.
"I did Al, but it wasn't my business to say," He explained holding his hands up.
"Who else knew?" Al sneered at me. I shook my head, refusing to say anything else. "They did, didn't they?" Al said his voice breaking slightly as he turned to look at Rose and Scorpius. I closed my eyes and didn't respond. "I asked you a fucking question, stop the fucking lies," He yelled, I jumped at his aggression and nodded. "Fucking brilliant," Al said, tears falling down his face. I tried to reach out for him again, he pulled away and I ended up falling into a heap on the floor. James helped me up off the ground and glared at his brother.
"Al that's enough now," He growled, I could feel the anger radiating from him.
"James, leave it." Rose said wearingly, placing a hand on his arm.
"Please Al, please just hear me out," I cried.
"What exactly is there to hear? The truth? It's a bit fucking late for that now isn't it liar." He spat. "I do miss you, a lot and I don't think you could ever put me off you," He read out loud from the letter in his hand, "Or a personal favourite, Al knows that you are writing to someone and he has a hunch it isn't Cressida and Just be careful otherwise it will all be over, and I really don't want that. I'm enjoying where we are at the moment, where ever that is. I bet you had a great fucking laugh at that, stupid Al doesn't have a clue that the person he loved most in the world was fucking his brother," Al shouted.
"Al please, it wasn't like that," I cried, trying to move closer to him, Scorpius holding me back. "Al, this isn't how I wanted you to find out, I never wanted to hurt you, I never wanted this to happen." I gasped between sobs. Al stared at me with so much disgust it made me cry even more. He ignored me and continued reading the letter out loud, for everyone to hear.
"Oh and my absolute favourite, the cherry on top of the fucking cake; Well I know I shouldn't say it anymore but I am very much in love with you too." Al laughed hysterically, stubbornly wiping away the tears that were falling from his eyes.
"Al please," I begged, breaking free from Scorpius and grabbing onto his hands, resisting his fight.
"Get the fuck away from me," He shouted, "I loved you and you preferred my brother," He cried, tears falling down his cheeks. "If you think he loves you then you are fucking deluded, he only wants one thing and apparently you were an easy target," Al spat looking at me with the same disgust, "He only goes for easy slags, don't you James," Al sneered glancing at his brother.
"Al, that's enough," James growled, his anger boiling over. "Don't speak to her like that,"
"And what fucking right do you have to tell me what to do," Al shouted, "The one girl, the one person I loved, the one person you couldn't have and you decided to have her anyway. I hope she was fucking worth it," Al yelled.
"Al, I love her," James said pitifully. I knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as James said it. It happened so quickly. Al had broken free from my arms, pushing me to the floor and went for James, fist raised. The words were out of my mouth before I realised what I'd done.
"Protego," I screamed, blasting them apart. I stood up and walked in front of Al, he looked at the two of us from where he had fallen, his eyes swimming in pain. James and I on one side of the force field, while he was on the other side alone.
"Al," I cried, tears streaming down my face. I undid the spell and crouched down next to him.
"I hate you," He spat, "I hate both of you, stay the fuck away from me," He hissed, before standing up and moving through the crowds of students who were starting to disperse. I made to run after him but felt a hand on my arm holding me back and looked up to see a broken James Potter standing above me. I broke down again and shook my head, moving out of his reach, feeling as though I had been burnt.
"We'll go after him," Rose said finally breaking the silence. "Do you have the map so we can find him?" She said, holding her hand out to James. He pulled the map out and gave it to her. She looked at the two of us and sighed. "I don't even know what to say," She said sadly, squeezing my hand tightly and following Al down the hall, Scorpius in her wake. Most of the students had disappeared, besides some of the Weasley's and Danny, who was standing there looking at me with so much pity.
"James?" Fred said wearingly. James looked at him briefly before moving closer to me, reaching out to touch my face, I pulled away again.
"Hannah, please," He said, tears falling down his face now.
"We can't," I said sobbed, "Look at what we've done to him, he will never forgive us."
"What about fighting for us?" James asked painfully. I shook my head.
"We can't now, it's done, it's over. We've turned our backs on the one person we care the most about in the world and we can never take that back," I cried moving further away from him. I could see all of the Weasley's looking at me but I didn't care, I just needed to leave.
"But…I love you," James said, wiping his tears away.
"It's over," I said through my own tears. I took one more look at the boy I loved more than anything in the world, before turning on my heel and running off down the corridor.
I woke up the next morning with an awful headache. After the incident in the corridor, I hid out in an empty classroom until I was sure I could get to the common room without speaking to or seeing anyone. Not for the first time this year, I cried myself to sleep, drawing the curtains around myself and casting a silencing charm as to not alert the other girls in my dormitory. I had a full day of classes; Albus was in all of them. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear for the rest of the week but I knew I had to face to music. I pulled myself out of bed and went to the bathroom, thankful none of my dorm mates had woken up. I made quick work of my hair, not bothering with any make up and threw on my uniform, leaving the bedroom before anyone had even stirred.
The common room was thankfully empty when I made my way downstairs; however, I was too early for breakfast. I decided to go for a walk around the greenhouses before breakfast, to get some fresh air and clear my head, really just to avoid any early risers. The castle was empty as I made my way through the corridors, walking down the steps heading onto to the familiar path to the greenhouses. It was bitterly cold and I could feel the frost through my thick winter cloak and scarf but it was a happy comfort to the searing pain I could feel in my heart. I didn't dare think about the events of the night before; I knew that my heart wouldn't be able to handle reliving it all. I felt like I had lost everything in a matter of seconds. Scorpius had been right, it would've been so much better to have been in control of that situation.
I sat down on a vacant bench that over looked the lake and the Quidditch stands, a low mist covering most of the grounds making it look eerily beautiful. It was so peaceful and welcoming; I could've stayed there all day. As I made to move I heard the sound of footsteps walking towards me up the path and saw the silhouette of Scorpius Malfoy walking towards me, James' map in hand. I sighed and stood up abruptly, heading in the opposite direction as to avoid him.
"Hannah, wait." He called out running to catch up with me. I continued walking, hoping he would get the message but instead he caught up and stopped right in front of me catching his breath.
"Scorp, I really don't want to talk about it," I said sadly, my voice breaking slightly. He shook his head and offered me a warm smile.
"I know," He smiled. "I just thought you might want some company to breakfast." I stared at him for a moment before nodding and turning around. He wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulders, his tall form towering over me making me feel immediately calmer. I willed myself not to break down to him and tried to just enjoy my friends company. "You're freezing," He said looking down at me with concern.
"I'm okay," I mumbled against my chattering teeth, letting him guide us inside the castle. We made it into the entrance hall that was somewhat busier than half an hour before. I tried desperately to avoid people's stares but I could feel everyone looking at me as we entered the hall. One thing about Hogwarts was that news got around fast, especially if it was to do with the Potters.
"Just ignore them," Scorp said sitting down on the bench opposite me and pouring some tea.
"Thanks," I said kindly as he handed me the drink. I stared at the food around me, nearly all of it making me feel even sicker than I already did. I settled on trying to force down a dry bit of toast, knowing I would be thankful later when I inevitably would avoid lunch.
"So," Scorp said, making himself a bowl of cereal. I glanced up at him, noticing the hall had become a lot busier now. "What have you got this morning?" He asked with a smile.
"Double Potions and Charms," I recited taking another bite of toast.
"You and Al are partners in both right," He asked, trying to sound casual but not daring to meet my gaze. My heart sank at the mention of his name, making my stomach turn. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. "Okay, you will be with Rose in Potions and me in Charms for the next few weeks. Rose has spoken to the teachers, they said it was fine." Scorp said simply as if he was talking about the weather, "You'll be with Rose for Transfiguration and Herbology as well, and me for DADA. I think that covers everything." Scorpius said giving me a sad smile. I felt myself becoming really embarrassed at the need of getting the teachers involved, especially when they knew Al's parents really well. News that I had caused an argument between their sons was soon going to reach them and they would hate me forever. It was such a mess.
"Is he okay?" I asked Scorpius quietly. He stopped eating and reached across the table to grab my hand, staring at me with such sadness in his eyes it made me want to cry. "No Hannah, he isn't," He said honestly. I nodded and felt my eyes welling up, I glanced up the table and saw all of the Weasley family sitting with James who looked dishevelled and like he hadn't slept for a week, all of them kept glancing at me in disbelief. I wanted nothing more than to go over to him and hold him tightly but I knew that I would never get that chance again. I saw Fred whisper something into his ear and he sat up and looked down the table at me, he's expression mirroring Al's last night. I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I broke the gaze and looked down at my pathetic half eaten piece of toast, suddenly feeling like I was going to throw up.
"I've got to go," I said quickly to Scorpius, grabbing my bag and running up the length of the great hall, tears streaming down my face, pushing past everyone in my way. I made it into the girl's toilets just in time as I threw myself into a cubical and emptied my stomach into the toilet. I sat on the cold stone floor and sobbed into my knees. I stopped abruptly, hearing the door go and voices filling the room.
"I know you're fucking in here, so you might as well come out now," Cressida's voice yelled, echoing around the room. I could hear my heart beating rapidly in my chest as her friends laughed from the other side of the door; I was terrified. Wiping my tears, I stood up and tried to pull myself together as to not show her any vulnerability. I opened the bathroom door and saw Cressida standing opposite me, surround by four of her friends. She had a stupid smirk on her face that made me want to throw up again, I felt for my wand in my pocket and made to move around her to get to the sink, trying desperately not to show them the panic I was feeling.
"Excuse me," I said sweetly, "I need to get to the sink,"
"Not a fucking chance, slag." Cressida spat. I rolled my eyes at her as a few of her friends laughed again. "I knew that I should've put you in your place when I had the chance." She said looking me up and down with disgust.
"I know your annoyed, but I'm not the one you should be annoyed at," I said defensively knowing there was no chance I was getting out of this unharmed. She had been making my life difficult before she even knew anything; merlin knows what she was going to do now.
"Do you really think I would believe that James Potter would come on to someone like you? You aren't even in the same league as me," She spat. "The only way he would've even touched you is because he knew you were an easy fucking slag."
"Believe what you want, I'm done here." I sneered, feeling myself becoming increasingly angry at the situation. Her expression turned deadly, she closed the distance between us, raised her hand and brought it down sharply across my face. The noise echoed around the room as I stood there in complete shock at what had just happened. I slowly felt the searing pain across my cheek, tasting blood in my mouth where I had bit my lip. But she wasn't done; as I turned to face her again she pulled my hair and punched me twice in the stomach; leaving me to fall to the ground, coughing and groaning in pain.
"You best fucking watch yourself little girl," She sneered above me. She stood up to face her friends, fixing her hair and giving them a smile that they all reciprocated. They left the bathroom one by one, none of them giving me a second look as the door closed behind them leaving me completely alone.
I had about five minutes before the first lesson so knew I needed to get myself sorted quickly. I spat the blood out of my mouth and cast a soothing charm across my stomach to ease the pain slightly, making it easier for me to stand up. I moved over to the mirror and stared at myself. I was a fucking mess. My eyes were red from crying so much and my hair was everywhere. I quickly threw my hair up, splashed my face with cold water and swilled my mouth watching my blood go down the sink. I was shocked at how calm I was being after just being attacked. I think deep down I felt like it was completely justified. What I had done, to Al, to Cressida, to James was awful; if anything I thought I deserved worst. I noticed the side of my cheek and eye was already red from the slap, I tried to cover it using a spell but it was no good. I sighed and tidied myself up the best I could, casting another soothing spell as the other one quickly wore off, hearing the bell ring around the corridors as I ran to my first lesson.
"Sorry I'm late Professor," I said entering the room a few minutes later. The whole class turned to face me, a few of them sniggering.
"Hurry up then Miss Marshall, grab a seat now dear," Professor Slughorn said happily. I walked across the classroom to my usual seat, spotting Rose in Al's seat. I didn't dare turn around to look at Al, who was now behind me. I sat down quickly pulling out my book, wincing slightly as the soothing spell wore off again. Slughorn got through the demonstration for the draught of living death fairly quickly and set us on task. Rose went to get the ingredients as I set up the equipment, trying desperately to ignore the pain coming from my stomach and my face.
"What the hell is wrong?" Rose said irritably, as I winced for the fifth time that lesson. She had barely said two words to me since I had walked in so I was taken aback by her annoyance. "Shit Hannah, what happened to you face?" She said looking at me for the first time, her brow creased in concern.
"I don't want to talk about it," I said hastily, "Can we just get on with the work?" I said wincing in pain again, casting another spell on my stomach.
"Has someone attacked you?" She said quietly as to not alert the tables around us.
"Rose, please can we just get on with the work. It's a welcome distraction. I just don't want to think for a few hours," I said sadly, allowing myself to glance across the room at Al for the first time. He was concentrating far too hard on cutting up a Sopophorous bean. His eyes flickered across the room to mine, emotionless and empty. I felt myself shudder as he continued to focus on his work, he was just broken. "Let's just get on with this and then you can help me sort out my face," I said emptying the contents of the chopping board into the cauldron. Rose nodded, reaching across to squeeze my hand comfortingly.
"I love you Hannah," She said quietly, not meeting my eyes. I felt my heart lighten softly for a moment, a small smile crept on my face, "I'm always here for you," She said looking at me with a sad smile. She patted my hand fondly and continued to stir the cauldron.
Slughorn was impressed by our potion at the end of the lesson giving us both an E, setting us homework on areas where we could've improved. Rose had been chatting to me freely all lesson, making it easy to just listen and not have to offer much to the conversation. She was extremely careful to not mention Albus or James which allowed me to bring down my guard slightly. She helped me cast a stronger soothing charm on my stomach, not asking any questions and pulled me to the bathroom in between lessons to fix my face. I glanced at myself in the mirror and noticed an obvious black eye starting to appear. I was normally fairly good at covering up bruises but for some reason, this one didn't want to be covered.
"Did they use a permeant spell or something?" Rose asked, tutting again when the spell she tried had no effect.
"It wasn't done with magic," I sighed, staring at myself in the mirror. I looked awful, my eyes were still red from crying and the right side of my face was beginning to turn purple. Rose glanced at me and shook her head.
"We should go and tell Neville or someone," She said frowning.
"Not a chance," I said turning to face her, "I don't want any teachers to know. The situation is already shit; getting teachers involved will make it worse,"
"Hannah someone attacked you, they can't get away with it." She said staring at me incredulously.
"I deserved it okay," I said finally, ending the conversation. "Do you have any make-up on you?" She sighed and handed me a powder. I quickly applied it to my face barely covering the mark but knowing that it would stop people questioning it as much. "Let's get to lesson before Flitwick gives us a detention because that would top off my day nicely." I said grabbing my bag. Rose stopped me placing a hand on my arm.
"Hannah, you do not deserve someone attacking you, please go and tell a teacher," She said pleading with me. I shook my head and sighed moving out of the bathroom without another word.
Charms passed quickly, Scorpius using the same tactic as the morning, causally approaching topics as if we were talking about the weather. He tried to ask me about my eye five times before I glared at him and told him very rudely where to go, resulting in Flitwick docking me 10 house points, granted it was a bit obscene and I apologised to Scorpius straight away. Thankfully he dropped the subject. Al sat the furthest away from me that he could, like in potions, concentrating unnecessarily hard on his work not talking to anyone around him. As the bell rung out across the castle I grabbed my bag and followed Scorpius out the room.
"Lunch?" He asked as I started walking in the opposite direction.
"You go and have lunch with Rose and Al, you don't need to babysit me all day, I'll be okay," I said, not meaning to sound as ungrateful as I came across. He's face fell slightly, "Sorry, I mean thank you for sorting out the lessons, it would've been unbearable if you hadn't and thanks for this morning." I said sincerely, offering him a smile. He walked over to me and wrapped me in his arms. It was the much needed hug I was desperate for, I wrapped my arms around his waist and felt my heart lift again slightly at my friends understanding and kindness.
"James wasn't good enough for you, now you're moving onto Rose's boyfriend." A voice sneered from behind us. We both turned to see Al standing there, glaring at me.
"Al, don't be daft." Scorpius said shaking his head.
"Leave it, I'll see you later," I said to Scorpius shaking my head as I walked away, hearing Al and Scorpius arguing in the background.
The rest of the day passed relatively smoothly considering the events of the night before and the morning. My stomach had given me issues all afternoon but I was starting to live with the pain rather than deal with it. I knew dinner was going to be awful so I left it as late as I could to make my way down to the Great Hall, avoiding the stares and whispers that were going on around me. A ballsy third year came up to me on the way and asked me how I had managed to get both Potter boys fighting over me, I just stared at her in shook as Lily Potter ran up behind me telling her rather loudly to fuck off. The third year backed off instantly, running to her friends.
"Thanks," I said as she turned to face me, offering me a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Are you okay?" She asked sincerely.
"As well as can be expected," I sighed.
"Fred wanted me to tell you that he doesn't mind leading the practise on Saturday if you need some time…you know…away from certain people," She said with a frown.
"To be honest Lil's I'm more worried at how I'm going to get through the rest of the week, I'll think about Saturday when it comes, tell Fred I said thank you," I said with a sigh. She nodded and patted my arm kindly.
"I'll see you later," She said. I nodded as she walked off down the hall.
"Lils," I called after her, "Is he okay? Is James okay?" I asked against my better judgement. Her face fell for a second before she frowned and shook her head.
"No Hannah, he isn't." She said simply before walking away from me. I stood there for a moment watching her walk out of sight, allowing her words to add to the pain I was already feeling.
The hall was not overly busy when I walked in. I spotted Al, Rose and Scorpius half way down the table, Al had his head in his hands and Rose and Scorpius were looking beside themselves with worry. I hated what this was doing to our friends, it was only the first day and it was already awful. I knew we weren't going to be able to keep it up for very long, something was going to give eventually and I knew it was me that was going to take the impact and rightly so. I couldn't see James anywhere in the hall so I sat down alone and fixed myself a plate of food, ignoring the whispers and stares of the people around me.
"Hi," a voice said from across the table. I looked up and saw the very beautiful face of Louis Weasley staring at me with a kind smile. As he was in Ravenclaw he was probably one of the only Weasley's I wasn't on speaking terms with. He was Keeper on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team and we would sometimes talk about that at family parties but otherwise, I found we didn't have much in common, unlike my relationship with his sister. "Can I sit down?" He asked politely. "I told Dom about what happened last night," He said answering my confused expression and sitting down opposite me.
"I bet she was jealous she missed all the action," I said bitterly. He chuckled softly and nodded.
"You would think so." He sighed and shook his head, "No she was really worried about you," He said sincerely. "I think a lot of us are," He added.
"Shouldn't you be checking on your cousins," I asked, feeling myself getting irritated by the pity party he was throwing me. I knew I was being completely irrational but nothing about today was making sense and I just wanted to be left alone.
"Look, I don't know the ins and outs of what has been happening between you and James and I'm not really interested about sides." He explained, "All I know is that if Dom found out you were eating alone at any point and that I knew about it, she would come to Hogwarts herself and, to quote, slap me sideways," He said with a smile. I found myself smiling in spite of misery; Dom's indefinite loyalty would never cease to amaze me.
"That sounds like her," I said sadly. "I wish she was here now," I said out loud not really meaning to.
"I know you do, she wishes she was here as well, fortunately for you, you have the next best thing and might I add the funnier of the three," he said with a wink. I smiled at Louis feeling more relaxed than I had all day. He was like Dom in so many ways, it was almost impossible to be annoyed around him. He started chatting to me about Quidditch as I finished my food, keeping me company the whole time. "I need to run," He said as I finished my drink, "I'm here if you need me Hannah," He said with a smile, "Also if you are writing to Dom anytime soon be sure to let her know, she won't believe it coming from me." He said with a chuckle leaving me alone again but a lot happier than I had felt all day. I glanced around the hall noticing that it had emptied a lot, my three friends still sitting down the other end of the table though, Rose and Scorpius trying to talk to a defeated-looking Albus.
I sighed and grabbed my bag, moving to stand up before feeling a searing pain in my stomach, hitting me sharply and rapidly. There was no one around but I knew who it was immediately. I gritted my teeth through the pain and started walking out of the great hall trying not to draw attention to myself. The sensation stopped as I left the hall, instead, being replaced with a searing pain across my abdomen. I paused for a moment down an empty corridor, trying to catch my breath and calm down the panic I could feel rising in me. The pain started to mellow as I cast a quick soothing charm across my stomach and made my way to Gryffindor Tower.
I stumbled through the portrait hole, wincing as the charm slowly worse off and the pain worsened. The common room went quiet as I entered, no one daring to breathe as they looked between James and I. Our eyes met and my stomach dropped instantly. He was sitting in the corner, surrounded by his friends, his broken expression making the pain so much worse. I felt myself redden as I averted my eyes and found everyone to be staring at me. I made to move but my stomach rooted me to the spot, I knew it was too risky to move without falling over and crying out. I heard the portrait hole open again behind me and turned my head to see Rose and Albus walking in. This was not going to end well.
I tried to move again but knew it was no good; I was going to have to deal with the situation what ever happened. Just another thing to add to my line of punishments the day was throwing at me. I heard Al whispering furiously to Rose behind me and Rose trying her best to calm him down but it was no good. I chanced a glance at the two of them and saw Al glaring at his brother, angrier than I'd ever seen him. I heard James sigh loudly and saw him move across the room to his private quarters. Still, no one had dared to speak, everyone waiting for round two. I felt sick with dread, with pain.
"Oi," Albus shouted to his brother, the noise of it vibrating around the room making everyone catch their breath.
"What do you want Al?" He asked, not hiding his annoyance of the situation. Merlin, I wanted to disappear forever as the two brothers glared at each other. Knowing I had caused all this anguish was making everything so much worse.
"You're a fucking prick," Al spat. Everyone was looking between them. I stared at Rose who was completely beside herself with frustration.
"Look Al, I wanted to speak to you earlier, in private, and you refused. I don't want to talk to you when we have an audience so if you'll excuse me," James said turning around again. Al growled in frustration pulling out his wand and aiming it towards James. Despite the pain, despite the heartache, despite every fibre in me telling me that I should be running the opposite way, that this was the worst idea I've ever had, I threw myself in front of Al's wand. I heard people gasp around the room as I saw a flicker of shock and hurt across Al's face, before the anger returned once again.
"Get the fuck out of my way," He sneered at me.
"This stops now Al," I said quietly, ignoring how light headed the pain in my stomach was making me feel. "You're better than this," I pleaded with him. I could sense James moving behind me.
"Don't even try and flip this round on me," Albus shouted. "This is your fault, I trusted you…both of you…and now look at me," Al said breaking down in frustration. "Move out of the way Marshall," He said again his anger towards James returning.
"I can't do that Al," I said breathlessly. "I can't let you hurt him," I felt tears stinging my eyes once more.
"Move now," Al demanded. I shook my head furiously.
"Hannah," James whispered behind me, "It's okay, you can move," He said so gently, so softly I wanted to melt into him. I shook my head once again not taking my eyes away from Al who was shaking with anger.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY," Al shouted. I still didn't budge; Al lowered his wand and walked straight towards me squaring up to my face, "Do you not get it?" He yelled, "I need him to hurt as much as he hurt me and I can't because you won't fucking let me," Al sobbed. I cried with him wrapping my arms around him, holding him without a fight. I felt Rose guide us up the stairs as Al sobbed into my shoulder. We sat him down on his bed, both of us sitting either side of him letting him cry as much as he needed to. I was so surprised at everything that had happened that I almost forgot about the pain in my stomach, casting a quick soothing charm to calm it down again.
"You need to leave Hannah," Al said finally, not daring to meet my eyes. I nodded and glanced at Rose who threw me a sympathetic look. I walked over to the door, letting the tears fall quietly down my cheeks. I turned around and looked at the broken boy who was lying on his bed looking the other way.
"I'm so sorry Al," I cried softly, before closing the door on what had been the worst day of my life.
A/N: Thanks again for reading! Such a long chapter but obviously the most pivotal moment in the story.
Thank you for all the support and love on the previous chapters, it means a lot. Let me know what you think about this one, lots to take in and I would love some feedback!
See you in the next chapter,
Jadeannkneeky