Write date: 09-26; 10-14
Woo! Another chapter flying right up! A Thank you goes to Dlbn for reviewing!
Dlbn: Well Soubi's having it pretty rough indeed, (gomen soubi-san). Ritsu v.s Nagisa was just on the flash( wanted sth funny), glad it came though :). Anyway Thank you for rewieving, I'll try uplouding chapters more frequently though I'm still stuck on writing the climax
-X-X-X-
Chapter 5: Best cure is Faith
-Present-
He stood on a high cliff. The waves constantly splashing, hence decaying the steep rocks, pebble after a pebble. A storm was coming, threatening to swallow this once huge mountain.
Soubi stared into the waves, high enough as to almost reach his face. He timidly glimpsed backwards, getting a strong gush of wind and scratches from the drips of ice cold water as a reward. He fixed his long fluttering hair behind his ear, gently taking a step down the walk he came from. Careful enough as to not displease or provoke the mother earth-his guardian which could simplemindedly turn her back on the man, with no guilt leading after. Crumble and let him fall, flood him and gift him to the dark ocean.
Soubi tapped slowly against the wind, accompanied by drops of rain, sharp as a knife. The young man exhaled a warm breath to his freezing palms, while clattering his teeth. The chill was hardly bearable and the rainfall hadn't made it any easier.
Furthermore the storm did not seemed to quiet down, if anything it just roughen, to an extent where Soubi could not feel his hand fingers anymore, they were stiff. Water dripping down the male's hair. His light jacket drenched and stuck to his shivering body, feeling this coldness surround him, could the blond stand any further?
Soubi wished to halt and lay down embracing his knees, perhaps then, he could gather the missing warmth around himself.
The man swayed for while still not giving in to the sleepiness, well knowing that it may bring much worse, then what he was already going through. The blood vessels will cease to furnish the nutrients to the tissues in his legs, and the young man won't be able to use them anymore. The same will happen to his arms, and finally his head. No, falling down was not an option, he must not allow himself to give up.
After a few more steps a bizzare imagery took over Soubi's pupils. Flowers. All types of them blossoming right out of the stone gaps. Vines spreading their roots. Fascinating. If they can live in such a drier state, there might be some hope out there for Soubi's survival as well.
Music?' The man rose up, trying to catch the melody ringing somewhere far away. That meant he hadn't been alone in the first place. There were other people, they could help him. Soubi clutched his elbows harder forcing his aching legs to drag him further, that hardly listened to him anymore. He had to keep going, no matter the pain...
Eternal minutes past by as Soubi finally reached the destination. The light haired man's eyes widen at the person sitting infront of him at the piano. He knew this person, the silver hair, the shape of the body. Ritsu-sensei. The teacher was facing the other way dressed in a plain shirt that was reduced to a wet rag, exposing his back lines. Though Ritsu seemingly did not mind, the older man was deeply emphasized in the musical creation he was performing. Leaning and lifting from the piano as if the pattern had its own emotions incarved deep within, just waiting to be set free by the musician.
"Sensei..." Soubi staggered, blocking his ears, as the noise became unendurable, with high pitched notes and no continuence."Quit it!"
No answer... The headmaster just struck the wet keys harder. Drops of the everfalling rain, flooded down his silver hair and face with every move he made.
Soubi kept warming his hands with his breath, while waiting for his sensei to notice him, until he felt ash get into his lungs. The blonde man coughed, trying to get the dust out of his air passages. However the scent just got thicker and stronger.
"Who's burning something?" Soubi wondered, holding a displeasurable expression on his face. The student quivered his lips attempting to warn his teacher, although the sight he saw allowed him to wail as the only reaction...
Minami Ritsu was decomposing. His flesh, organs and bones rotting right infront of Soubi's petrified eyes.
His fingers that once played the instrument left iternal black marks, as they got blown away, his clothing and hair following and dissapearing with the wind. Sensei's lens fell, cracking the glass. They did not have a purpose anymore, their owner was dead- his remains had burnt into ash and were scattered by the strong wind's assistance flying beyond the mountain... Beyond were no human could understand.
The only thing that had been left as a reminder of the once lived man, was this piano, unfortunetly it's not eternal either. It will brake, will rot, will be eaten by the earth.
Tears uncosciously ran down Soubi's face as those thoughts were fabricated. Wasn't there anything that could make a person's life or memory last forever?
The storm still violantly danced around, the cold gush of wind echoed in the distance, as Soubi fell to his knees. He gave up?
"My soul will live forever incraved in the curse's name. It will not bow to anyone. You will bend your head to her, Soubi-kun..."
X X X
"Soubi." the man woke up as a feminine voice reached his ear. He tiredly glanced up from the infirmary bed, to spot Nana sitting beside him, who was dressed in a plain black dress with long sleeves and a pendant with a cross laying on her chest.
"You're awake? How is your health?"
"I'm okay." The blond answered instantly without giving it a second thought. Though his head was pounding as hell. He grumbled facing away from her, trying to recollect his mind.
The chat with Kunugi, when he firstly woke up... It felt like a whole month ago. However that could not be possible, he seriously hadn't slept that long. But the dreams proved otherwise.
Soubi dreamt of his life with Ritsu, it seemed so vivid back then but now they were just scraps of memories he recalled, unrelated pieces of the puzzle. Everything had mixed up in his mind. What was a dream and which parts were reality?... Brain wreck. Soubi frowned this was futile. Better leave it be for now.
"Ahh, Nana". Soubi shook his head to get his mind out of the aching dream." Could I ask you something?"
The female glimpsed at him ceasing to tap the keyboard of her laptop, sitting on her knees. Was she really that preoccupied with work or was it just a hobby?
"Yes go ahead." She smiled laying the screen down, so she could face him.
"About Ritsu-sensei," Soubi cleared his throat after a second, dizzily sitting up on the bed, grasping the metal sides with his hands to steady himself." I...I heard from Kunugi-san that he got involved in an accident."
"Well you're correct." Nana nodded, keeping her gaze down." The whole school's still deep in shock and distress. A lot of teachers are quitting the job, scared for their own life. The culprit's motive is still unknown, and he's missing. " She paused, inhaling. "At first we were determined it was Seimei's doing, that theory proved to be wrong, when he showed up to clear his throat on this."
"So it was not Seimei..." Soubi restated, glancing at Nana who shook her head.
"This is a mess..." The blond haired female palmed her face." I'm so tired."
"I understand..." Soubi agreed suddenly remembering Kunugi. That's right that person was a two faced liar, who was a master of keeping the truth forgotten in vanity. He was prideful, wanting to take over Seven Voices headmaster's chair. So the man was probably lying to his own advantage.The story he told... Could it be trusted?
"Nana could I trouble you again?" Soubi suddenly spouted out in anxiousness that took Nana by surprise.
"You dont need to ask."
"Could you tell me how Ritsu-sensei was injured?"
The programmer tilted her head to the ceiling, shutting her eyes, as the curtains fluttered from the warm wind and allowing evening light to greet them through the open window. She lowered her head.
"It's hard..." She whispered, getting Soubi's attention, tangling her fingers in one another, while keeping them near her face. "I...I found him that night... If only I could've got there before the incident took place, maybe... just maybe,"She tightened the hold in her fingers."I could've saved him..."
"Imposible." Soubi spouted out instantly, that made Nana almost yank back." If the culprit was armed he could've injured you both, or even worse; kill. It's a good thing you went to that garden on time. Otherwise there might have been even more casualties."
Nana looked at Soubi with thankful eyes, nodding.
"Might be. So as I mentioned I found him in the garden bleeding, checked his pulse and ushered him back. Now he's in rehabilitation, still trying to get over the incident."
"Can I visit him?"
"I'm afraid not..." Nana landed her hands on the laptop, sighing. She gazed at the clock on the wall checking the time."He's still mentally weak, can't speak without losing his breath. He won't let any human touch him without beginning to stagger like crazy, with no air intakes. And unfortunetly that leads to him passing out."
"He should be able to remember me, that could calm him down." Soubi offered.
"And what if not? No. We can't risk it Agatsuma, there are no promise's that you could improve his health, however there are plenty of ways you could make it worse." Nana's gaze softened, she smiled at him." We have to be patient. For now he's being put on medicaments."
"Medicaments? Are you serious?! That will only mess up his brain!"
"As I said: for the time being, we can't help," She declared, ubruptly standing up and folding her dress."Everything is in faith's hands."
Soubi watched her go to the door, turning to him one last time.
"Rest Soubi, we'll see each other soon enough." She waved at him before exiting the infirmary. And the blonde let his body slump back into the uncomfortable bed. He rested, glancing up for a few minutes. At the boredom he allowed himself to exhale tiredly, folding his arms on his stomach.
Staring at the white ceiling wasn't that interesting or time consuming. Though he did not see any other way to pass the evening.
Soubi side-glanced at the wall clock next to him... 7 pm... Damn, it wasn't even night yet, that meant this torture was just begining. And he was seemingly not destined to escape it, he rested pretty deeply through the day. So will he be punished by the sleepless night?
Then again, why must he wait for another morning? When hope of change had long wilted like the fraggile flowers in autumn. When the pendulum of the clock, measuring his years, ceased to gong in triumph and pride. If Soubi yearned for death, why couldn't he accomplish the unthinkable? Why was he trembling just at the thought of it?
"Ritsuka..." A soundless murmur abandoned the blonde's lips, as Soubi rolled to his side, pulling his kness to the shivering chest and covering his face with palms of his hands. Soubi felt scared, he did not wanted to strive over those thoughts anymore. Remember the losses he faced. The endless possibilities or hurtful memories, if only they would end.
Secure in self comfort, laying, snuggling with his legs pressed together. This action helped to get over Soubi's fear of the dark, when he was a child. On other occasions the realisation of the dead parents- the people Soubi craved to see again, could be slowly washed away . In the later years it helped him to sleep, when his back was torn as a rag from sensei's so called 'training'.
Laying curled up in himself gave the frusterated man comfort. The thing he was not capable of attaining from his deceased parents, Ritsu-sensei or any other mortal. Nobody cared about him, so Soubi was left to deal with the trauma, which was ravening his insides, by himself.
He thought, he could take care of his pain and sadness, by locking his emotions shut. Unfortunetly the male realized his flaws years after. By keeping the suffering inside, the blonde put one foot in the grave he dug himself.
Soubi slowly got up, his head spinning. The light haired male felt ashamed that he stuck to that childish habit. Nevertheless there was no other path, Ritsuka was dead, Seimei dissapeared, his Sensei...
The blonde gripped the wall to steady himself, as he got off the bed, but soon he was yanked backwards. The man hissed nearly falling to the ground, then spotting the I.V. still penetrating his pricked arm. For atleast a minute he stared at his inner side of the elbow with wide eyes, from where were those injuries? Actually that matter was not essential, he could care less about his own health. That's why he fiercely drew the needle out with one harsh pull, the blood dripped off the prick, as it fell from Soubi's hand.The blonde faced the ceiling once more, leaning his back at the wall to rest for a second, while his hands deliriously shook.
Seimei did not need him anymore. He failed to protect Ritsuka and now Ritsu-sensei was stabbed out of nowhere. It's because of him. It's his fault...
Soubi glimpsed at the half open door infront of him. He narrowed his eyes, attempting to see through the dark. It was as if somebody stood hidden behind the door frame, watching him. Soubi gulped as his vision continued to blur, for god knew what reasons. He pushed himself off the wall tapping a few steps closer, nearly falling in the process. It was as if the ground was looking forward to his collapse. The young man took one more timid step, grunting.
He did not knew who was standing so quietly there: a nurse, Kunugi-san, or someone else... He just hoped, that anonymous mortal won't interfere.
Soubi had to get out of here and the sooner the better. So he was suppose to escape this infirmary room first. If he will not runaway from this mess, death might catch up to him. The mysterious assault, Kunugi's thirst for power and Soubi's memory loss already spoke of a dreadful upcoming. The light haired male was not planning to demise just yet. He escaped death a month ago, he won't let that misfortune assault him now. Otherwise Ritsuka's demise would be in vain.
Soubi must live, for Ritsuka. His lover taught him the meaning and the joy of life, he had not seen with the blood and control clouding his eyes. Soubi must survive for Ritsuka atleast as much as his sanity would let.
"Shouldn't you be in bed?" A melancholic voice came from the door. And with a turn of the light switch Soubi covered his eyes, that were used to the darkness. Soon he spotted Nagisa still keeping her long black colored nails on the switch.
"What do you want?" Soubi growled backing away, palming his forehead. Heat? So he had a fever, probably a high one, that explained the whirling in his head.
"I'm sorry," She bowed slightly then mused half to herself."Guess the wrong door again, he's not here..."
The man tilted his eyebrow in confusion. Was this really Nagisa, or was his head playing tricks on him? Because that woman never looked so anxious and lost for as long as he knew her, maybe even distressed, Soubi believed. Furthermore speaking, not yelling? And being polite with the bow and all? Did Soubi unconsciously became a king in the last minute? No? Then somebody seriously washed her brain... Soubi inhaled releasing only one word in time to stop Nagisa from closing the door.
"Who..."
"Who?" Nagisa restated.
"I'm asking." Soubi grunted feeling as if talking to a wooden plank, he unconsciously clutched his golden hair with his fingers.
The blue haired scientist bit her lip facing away. Though that did not hid the tears swelling and flooding her eyes. Crying?
Soubi could not believe this woman was capable of that kind of emotion. Guess he was yet to learn her behavior. For who was she weeping then? It couldn't be him (Soubi could rot, for all she'd give a damn), Nana or...
"Wait..."Soubi paused, frowning for a minute, after that cutt off Nagisa glimpsed at him with eyes drenched in fear and sorrow as if afraid of the words to come.
" Ritsu-sensei. Correct?" Soubi ended, lowering his head.
The light haired male realised he hit the spot, when Nagisa suddenly fell to her knees sobbing, weeping and murmuring something incomprehensible. He looked dumbfounded out of the uncomfortable surprise this scene gave. The young man did not know how to act in this kind of situation: leave her there, kick her out and close the door or just talk. Well he needed to choose fast, this crying was making his head pound harder.
Another thing Ritsuka taught him was to aid others. Something Soubi had not been fond of, because the blond had been brought up to be a cold, heartless slave and most off all to never interfere with others affairs. Thank you, Ritsu and Seimei for raising a total apathetic asshole... Ritsuka changed that habit of his and Soubi was pretty thankful for that.
"Nagisa-sensei," Soubi crouched down, being on the same eyelevel as the weeping woman, who obviously hadn't even heard him.
"Tell me... Tell me what happened."
"What?"
Soubi sighed. Nagisa was appearantly losing it. It was like she couldn't comprehend japanese anymore. Other idea was that the blue haired female's thoughts were heavily disturbing her. When Soubi took a closer look at her, he noticed dark circles going around her eyes- lack of sleep, not washed hair, paler skin as if she was sick or having shortage of nutrients. The conclusion came short- Nagisa-sensei was sick- she lived in her fabricated world of illusions.
"Come sit on the bed, it's softer." Soubi extended his hand to her, but she agitated nearly yanking back, releasing a cry.
"It's okay, I won't hurt you..." Soubi fixed a warm smile, wanting to gain her trust. That was the quickest way to crack her mind.
Nagisa shifted fo face him. Gently raising her hand toward Soubi afer a minute. She paused trembling, before taking his hand in hers as if struck by electricity, though she putted it eventually after a few tries. And now they both sat on the bed.
"Listen Nagisa-sensei," Soubi began whispering, as to not scare her."You came here searching for Ritsu-sensei... You worry to much."
"Too much? He was attacked and fataly injured, of cource I'm distressed, who wouldn't be?" She whimpered, facing him with eyes peeled open" You, yourself, are disturbed by the events also! And anyway this whole situation freaks me..." She sobbed, cutting off the sentence then adding a murmur." Why aren't we allowed to visit him? I want to see him, I want to make sure he's alright. But I can't... I...I'm...I'm afraid he wont...make it..."
"Stop overthinking." Soubi huffed out hurriedly. Just after a second realising that wasn't the best way to put it. What if she'll get even more depressed and broken then she already was. But a word was like a bird; once let go of the grasp it will fly away without an instant to spare.
"Nagisa-sensei," Soubi broke the soundless night, timidly uttering and seeing his companion rise her legs on the bed and pull them close to her chest. Nagisa was still weeping..."Ritsu-sensei is strong he won't give up. He will survive Nagisa-sensei, you must have hope!"
"What if not?"
Damn it... She was already losing faith, that meant possibly thinking of the worst case scenarios, what if she even thought of suicide, concerning how much influence did Ritsu had in her life? Everything starts from the thoughts that are fabricated and action follows soon enough-thoughts materialise... Soubi didn't expect her to be that down the drain...
"I can prove to you that he can." Soubi vocalized slowly, putting a lot of strain to that sentence so it would seem firm. Though he had little idea how could he.
Nagisa instantly perked up, staring at him as if he told a secret to the universe. Soubi gulped, he had to make something up, who cared if it was just speculation, Nagisa may take it as truth.
"Firstly remember how he was ambushed?"
"In the garden at night with three stab wounds what of it? I already know the details by heart."
"Yes you know the details, you were said." Soubi explained, feeling as if getting a hand of the situation and his talking." Nana rushed to him when the culprit's trail was already cold." Nagisa nodded deep in her thought." Since we don't have the second actor, and the first one's out cold we do not know what exactly occured. Of cource we have the evidence on Ritsu's body, but we do not have the evidence from the culprit's side, so our assumptions are far fetched."
"What are you getting at?"
"I'm saying that there was more what happened than what Nana saw. In other words-Ritsu-sensei fought back."
"Explain." Nagisa frowned.
"Why were there three stab wounds? If the culprit wanted to finish him off he would have done it more professionally: knife to the heart, stranglation. And I doubt he was a rookie otherwise we would have found him already."
"That's why you are assuming that Ritsu fought back?" Nagisa's eyes widened.
"Yes." Soubi nodded reassuringly." The culprit probably failed to silence him with the first blow. Sensei noticed and tryed to protect himself, so the other damage was most likely from the struggle."
Nagisa listened, then faced down, letting out grumble, until she felt a soft palm laced on her shoulder. Soubi lowered his voice.
"Nagisa-sensei, he's to prideful to let himself be killed so easily, he'll survive this mental disease as well."
"Time will tell..."
"You must believe!" Soubi softly pulled the blue haired female at her shoulder to make her turn to his side, she still avoided eyecontact though."Anything can be futile if there is no hope. Nagisa-sensei the best cure for everything is faith."
Soubi bit his lip, why was she so quiet? He couldn't read her mind. If Nagisa will not voice the worries and fears in her heart. There was no telling what could happen in the near future.
"Nagisa-sensei, do you love him?" Soubi swiftly changed the subject. Even though he knew the answer ever since his teenage years, still it was a lighter tone of the conversation.
"I do," Nagisa stated." but what's the point in it know. When I think about it love is a curse."
"Why?"
"Did I ever got my feelings returned, did I ever got noticed? No!" She shook her head, hiding it between her knees."It's just a suffering. How am I suppose to live in the knowledge that perhaps I will never see him again, never show my feelings to him? Live in regret and agony years after."
"Love is not at fault at the matter- Sensei is. And I believe you had your moments."Soubi sighed, running a hand through his hair grunting.
"I did not, as my memories let me recall-Ritsuka's dead." He whimpered through his teeth." It happened more than a month ago, the pain was still fresh... I could cry, sob, but for some reason my eyes are dry." The blond glanced at his hand, as the wind from the half opened window screeched a rain drop that landed it on his bare palm.
"I cryed enough, I wont shed anymore even if I want to... I could've escaped from my troubles like you wish to at the moment." Soubi willingly hadn't mentioned the word 'suicide'."I can't... There is still life and finally. I can see it."He clutched his palm, as the horrid wind sent more crystals to his side.
"I can't say I like it though... I still miss Ritsuka, I still love him... But I just can't mourn him anymore. Nagisa-sensei, I know everything looks like hell now," He tilted his head to face her, his hair being lightly rufled." But believe me, it won't stay forever, the sadness over sensei's illness will pass eventually. You won't even notice when you're gonna start bickering with him again!" Still quiet? Nagisa didn't even agitated anymore, what was she thinking- was it still agony? Soubi waited out finally stating.
"Nagisa-sensei, do you remember any warmness out of Ritsu?"
"Well there was a particuliar and probably the only occurrence..."
"Could you share?" Soubi seemed intrigued. Warmness out of his cold self-centred sensei? Unheared of. It was worth the listening.
"It happened few months ago..." Nagisa's tearstained eyes fluttered closed. The female wanted to recall that vivid night, she dreamt over and over again, to a point where it did not seem real anymore. It was too embarassing to be true... But it happened. It really did. If only the great clock had ceased to tick somewhere around those short hours, allowing Nagisa to enjoy it infinitely...
It was a sin, that was most likely the reason, it was so alluring...
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