Write date:11-06; 11-15
And I'm back again, with a long chapter too! I hope to update weekly from now on, atleast for a while, till school's gonna drag me back with new a wave of work.
Anyway about the chapter, I realise this is confusing, this and the next chapter should clear up everything with Ritsuka
Recap: Ritsu was stabbed in the Septimal Moon garden, now being in rehabilitation, the culprit's unknown; Ritsuka-believed to be murdered, Soubi tortured by the killers- statement proven to be false. Ch4 ending: Soubi finding something in the boiler room.
-X-X-X-
Despair isn't something you are lineaged with, it's something you create yourself.
Ritsuka was gone from Soubi's sight. The Breathless pair along with him. The hell! Why in this mess, of all times. When the commotion in the cafeteria had gone wild, with an unknwon threat, whatsmore when Loveless hadn't been conected with him yet...
The blonde groaned, frantically, scanning the cafeteria with no avail, he could not see his sacrifice...
A few students hit his shoulder and stomach, while running away from whatever happened in the middle of the room. Soubi remained firm, keeping his stance and slowly pushing himself forward as the sea of students ran past him. It was like fighting a never ceasing current.
Ritsuka, where was Ritsuka?
Soubi grappled his teeth together as his search gave no fruit. He could not see him. It got even worse when every dark haired teenager resembled and became 'Loveless' for his eyes. That made it significantly harder and after every let down, the frusteration deepened. Even the logical mind, always reminding Soubi, that Ritsuka's safe with Breathless, lost it's voice in the matter.
Irrationality was all that he confided in right now.
Students scrambled from one side to the other, not watching where were they running, causing accidents and not leaving any hope of survival for the injured, which lay on the floor, crushed by thousands of selfish feet... Their voiced suffering engulfed the area in terror. Though The survivors were all oblivious, egoistical and most of all paranoid.
Something did happen right? There was danger, a threat, right?
Soubi doubted. With all the commotion and fright from the headmaster's assault, it was very likely the enrollees made a story up from their own fears.
His lips curved into a semi smirk ridiculed by disgust, agony even... Yes, they should run away, but from him. Soubi was still certain, he was the one to stab sensei, atleast there were to much coincidence, leading to that conclusion. He drenched himself in guilt.
The blonde perked up after a deep breath, an attempt to lock his dark thoughts where they belonged. He glanced around, still no Ritsuka. This was getting hopeless...
A tone... A melody invaded, mixing with the screams and creating a new uncomprehensible sound.
Soubi heared it... He still listened to it, trying to block it out, covering his ears. But no use, the dark piano melody rang inside his head it seemed. Nobody heared it, as the pointless struggle continued.
"I know," Soubi whispered, enjoying the horrid interval." I know who's playing it now. Seriously your music is as horrible as I remember. You want to show me something... Right, sensei?"
The memories of the noon in the shed, when he accidentally met Ritsu playing the piano, spread amongst his head, as he ran out of the cafeteria. He forced the door open with a couple of strong thrusts.
The man ran to where the music in his head led him, to where the distorted memories flashed, crossfading he still poorly understood them. They felt more like dreams, reveries, imaginations, because they had no clarity and dissapeared before Soubi's mind could comprehend the faces shown.
The blonde ran through the corridor, straight to the stairway and the underground level. Boiler room. Boiler room...
Why did he wanted to go there? Why did the melody lured him to that place? How the hell did he even remembered where it stood?
"Sensei." A soundless gasp. That's all it was. To other people it would seem as a meaningless sigh, expressing dullness or fatigue. No one would see it being a tragic call, or a pleading...
"Sensei..." Soubi ran past the dark hall, filled with cardboard boxes and piles of dust, stiffened with hot, stale air.
It was a torture to take a breath in, to fill the needy lungs. The man begged them to not pass out from the lack of oxygen, that they had been provided. His intakes of air deepened as he resulted to breath through his mouth, though that proved to be even worse.
He stopped running soon, leaning his back at the wall. Wires were tangled near his feet, above his face, drains circulating water, covered the walls, some going through the middle of the hall.
The blonde man's breathing lost rythm, his face sticky and sweaty, his elbows bent asking for rest.
"Sensei." The blonde wailed with much effort, as his legs began to shook, arching forward and dragging Soubi closer to the floor. He nearly knelt to his knees, though stopped himself, grasping the wall. The hideous tune still playing on repeat." Where are you?"
No answer came. And Soubi pushed himself off the wall, grabbing a pipe for support, he smiled weakly, seeing his destination near.
The boiler room stood a few steps away, silent and, to Soubi's bad luck, locked. The door was locked, not moving an inch. That was not what he recalled though.
"It was unlocked..." He growled, pushing the handle for the last time. The man stepped away, planning to get back and search for Ritsuka, leaving his mingled memories for another day.
"Ugh... b-blood?" Soubi suddenly clutched the strands of hair, a memory flashing through. He whirled his head at the iron door. For a moment the when the weird thought rushed through his head, showing him, that the room's insides had been covered crimson, the door knob dripping down blood. Soubi looked it over with wary blue pupils, scratching his head.
No... It wasn't bloody and it was locked. His dreams proved to be just imaginations after all... Still. That melody... It did not cease...
X X X
"Oh. Soubi!" Nagisa greeted him, as soon as the male climbed the stairs to the first floor.
"Yes?" He glared at the woman, barely hiding the digust for her.
She didn't notice, smiling and looping her hands behind her back. Soubi thought he saw red tinting her cheeks as well.
She looked pathetic, trying to hide her affection. Why did she follow him like a lost puppy? All Soubi did was give her some made up reasoning, saying that Ritsu's fine, as fine as he can be, concerning the accident, when he was stabbed. The blonde tried to prove to her, that there was no need to drench in worry, in order to calm her down and setting her life on the right path...
But now... She looked at his made-up sympathy in a different way...
How did Ritsu-sensei lived through with her?
"A-are you feeling alright? Don't you have a fever?" The blue-haired female suddenly leaned closer to Soubi, rising her fingers toward the male's forehead. He jerked back, scarcely avoiding the contact. So Nagisa's expression diyed in guilt.
"I-I'm sorr_."
"It's non of your concern," The man cut her off. Though before he could escape again, she grabbed his arm. The male glared at her." I don't have time to waist. If you have something important, spit it out."
"I... ah are you searching for Ritsuka?"
"What does it look like? You think I'm interested in exploring this dump?" Soubi snorted with a threatening voice, alas Nagisa still held his fingers with both hands now, everting her eyes from him.
"Ah... no... but then, you were on the underground level?"
"So? Your point?"
The woman blinked in confusion then bursted into laughter, finally letting his hand go.
"What?"
"Right now... hm, you sounded exactly like him..."
"Who do you have in mind?" The blonde shifted his shoulder, walking past her. As the female could not cease her chuckling.
"Ritsu." Soubi froze and Nagisa added cheerfully." Yes, the same character, voice tembre, you are wearing his clothing at the moment as well, correct?"
"No.. " The man obliged, lowering his face."I'm nothing like him. Don't compare me with that bastard."
The pigtailed woman smiled at him.
"Fine...Actually the reason, I was searching for you was that Takehito-san wanted to see you in Ritsu's office because of the incident in the cafeteria."
"Tell him to piss off." Soubi muttered through his teeth.
"Wh... why?"
"I don't have time, Ritsuka's gone missing."
"You still can't find him?"
"No." Soubi shook his head as Nagisa sighed sadly and laced her arm on his shoulder.
"Then, go look for him. Love is more important. Takehito can have a second lunch while you're at it."
Soubi gave the woman a thankful nod. And the female receded, as her fingers gently fell from his shoulder.
X X X
"Eat slower don't just gulp everything down after one bite. You might choke Takehito." Nana lectured her boyfriend, who was sitting on Ritsu's worktable and shoveling down rice, his legs crossed.
The light haired female sat behind him in Ritsu's former chair, swaying a little. Soon she sighed and laced her hands around Takehito's abdomen as the male coughed.
"What did I tell you?" She leaned at his back, purring." Enjoyment is what's most important in life. You don't want for it to end right away, do you?"
Takehito slowly landed his bowl down, getting out a tissue from his inner coat's pocket, still chewing.
"You aren't done yet." Nana grinned, watching the dark haired male finish cleaning his mouth.
"Where?"
"Here, you dummy." She giggled joyfully, looping her fingers on his neck and licking his right cheek.
The male sat bewildered at Nana's unpredictable actions, he smiled back, after a moment, pecking her on the lips.
"Thanks..."
"Ritsu-sensei, can I come in?"
A knock collided with the door, as Nana blushed, they were making out in the headmaster's office. Since Kunugi Takehito took Minami Ritsu's posession momentarily, as the former principal was currently unable because of his disease.
The voice on the other side of the door belonged to Gomon Mikado, who apparently just arrived. And thus did not had any information of the unfortunate event.
"Please come in." Takehito proclaimed in a lower voice, trying to mimick Ritsu. And the light-haired female jerked back from their hug, flushing.
"Takehito!" She whispered, shaking her head as an opposition to her boyfriend's intentions. The brunette gave her a reassuring wink, when the door suddenly creaked open and the girl, with a pink wig and a white hat, agaped in middle of her sentence.
Of cource Kunugi sitting (nearly laying)on Ritsu's table and Nana standing like a statue, decorating the view, hadn't fit her expectations at all.
"Ah... where is Ritsu-sensei?" She asked warily, tooken by surprise of the abnormal changes in the office.( abnormal to Ritsu's character atleast.) The room brimed with light from the open huge window behind them. It welcomed fresh air to the once dark, gloomy office. The next thing she noticed that Ritsu-sensei's collections of dead butterflies were all missing, not a single glass container, of those creepy demised pests.
"Let's just say an accident happened to our head." Takehito explained as dullness reflected in his voice.
"What...?"
"Someone attacked Minami-san, stabbing him. So he's currently being patched up, though his mental recovery isn't going that smoothly."
"That's horrible!" Mikado exclaimed, covering her mouth in thought."So right now we don't have a principal, is someone covering up for him? If this information spread, we need to calm the rising panic, till we find the culprit!"
"You read my mind exactly!" Takehito nodded, laying his feet to swing below the table, glancing down." We're currently looking into the matter, searching for the assaulter, trying to read out with the quitting teacher's. And we decided that I should take this place temporary."
"Ha." Gomon sighed, a smirk crossing her lips."Well your suited for it, no doubt. I'm still surprised by your steady composure and clear mind in these situations."
"Well what can I say?" The dark-haired giggled, fidgitting with the rope tied on his neck." It's the way I work. After Minami comes back we should put this question of headmaster's seat in public!"
"Mhm." Nana nodded in agreement, leaning at Takehito's side."It was pretty hard weight on Ritsu's shoulders."
"By the way!" Takehito took out a candy from his 'magical' pocket, trowing it to startled Gomon.
"Catch!"
"Please...I'm not a... child anymore Takehito-san." Mikado blushed, getting a grip of the wrapper, recalling how the man took care of her in early years. The time when she was forced to join Septimal Moon at the age of twelve. When she lost her ears... he was there for her. Though she still could not understand the reason behind it... Every action had to have a reason. That was her made philosophy, in order to understand what was right and wrong in the world.
"In my eyes you'll always be." Kunugi Takehito replied silently. And Mikado fell silent for a moment.
"Could I change the subject?"
"Go on."
"That was not the only incident recorded recently. Correct me if I'm wrong, but..." Mikado paused glaring at the man before her, who continued playing with his rope. Takehito seemed quite mesmerized, it was doubtful that he caught her statement. Maybe even forgot Mikado was here. The pink-haired teenager waited until Nana purposefully coughed, snapping the man back to reality.
"Yes... Mikado-chan, ah. You were saying?" He droned, suddenly perking up as Nana grinned behind the middle-aged man. Then nodded to younger girl, bringing the spotlight to her once more.
"Thank you, Nana-san." The teenager stated monotoniously." As I was saying, an accident happened in the cafeteria today."
Takehito rubbed his eyes, blinking at Gomon for a while, before sighed heavily and crossing his legs.
"I'm lazy explaining, the Miso soup really fills your stomach, you know?" He laughed, stretching his arms above his head, until he heared a small crack from his bones."I would want nothing more but to sleep after such a great meal. You should try it too, Nana, it's better than your daily ramens."
"Next time maybe."
"Nice principal, you'd be." The pink-haired girl smirked sarcasticly.
"Hey it's not my problem if my body requirs sleep!" He shot back tiredly with another yawn.
Then he turned to Nana holding sad, pleading pupils." Could you take over? Please?"
"Fine." The programmer sighed, pointing a finger at her lover, treatening playfully, though with irritattion reflecting in her voice." But you'll owe me."
"Perfect. Wouldn't want it any other way."
"Could any of you continue?" Mikado growled, tapping her feet in annoyance.
"Uh, loli power, now that's scary." Takehito teased, earning murderous glares from both females.
"I'll continue." Nana spoke up, slapping his head, hard enough to make him wince from pain."And you go back to sleep. So approximately at eight this morning the enrollees began causing a ruckus in the cafeteria. We're yet to find the culprit. And luckily we avoided any serious injuries."
"Mhm." Gomon rubbed her chin in thought." Could it be reliated to Ritsu's assaulter?"
A mocking laughter exploded right after Mikado Gomon's sentence. The girl groaned at Takehito's direction, who didn't cease, even after another punch from Nana collided with his head.
"What's so funny?" The teenager snorted, clenching her fingers into tight fists, the long nails, ripping at her flesh.
"That's just what you expect from a loli! Ahaha!" He whistled, earning a third slap. Takehito swayed a little, watching the furious teenager pouting her lips. For some reason, he imagined the little virgin Mikado from years back, staring at him with that kind of expression. So cute...
He could not help it, he loved children and all of their colorful not tainted or deceitful emotions, formed into various expressions. Beautiful and pure. And Mikado was still a child to him. A child who suffered to much, seen to much and was forced to abandon her old days, maturing to early. Being dragged into the horrid reality, the harsh, two-faced and egoistical world of grownups...
There was nothing pure or beautiful here. Just greed and agony coated in blood.
"Listen, Mikado-chan," He lowered his tone, jumping of the table and tapping to stand sideways with her.
"Want a candy?" He smiled and Gomon nocked it off of his fingers, grumbling.
"Okay, calm down." Nana waved her hands in a defensive manner, before Mikado could start to rant at her oblivious boyfriend." All we know that it's motive wasn't to kill, injure or to cause a distraction for another purpose."
"How do you know that?!" The pink-haired teenager yelled, quite inraged.
"Because of logic! you cute loli!" Takehito piped up.
"Shut up, hentai!"
"Secondly." Nana cut them off." The attack used to cause most of the students to panic, get anxious and delerious was -no doubt a spell."
"A spell?" Mikado cocked an eyebrow, not believing her ears, while grabbing Takehito by the collar." Is there even a spell that powerful?"
"Come on. Think. It's easier than that. A spell used for no purpose, just to toy with others for entertainment." Takehito slowly swayed his head, snickering." What can you make of it, hm?"
"A child." Nana finished dully, crossing her arms on the chest."Who ran off the first from the crime scene. Afraid to get caught up in the mass, I checked the surveilance cameras we got three suspects."
"Already?" Mikado seemingly calmed her nerves, dropping Takehito." You're fast."
"Well actually the two were already psychologically inspected and the culprit's trails are already sniffed out. He's going to be in our hands in matter of minutes."
"Could have said it before." Mikado giggled, embarrassed by her behaviour.
"You asked we explained." Takehito shrugged, walking past them. Goodnight."
"It's not even night yet, asshole."
Mikado murmured after Takehito closed the door behind them, Nana snickered at that.
"Still," The teen sighed after a long minute of silence. Nana glanced up at her companion, while rummaging through papers from the overfilled drawer.
"I can't comprehend of such a strong spell being used, to such a large group of different students... It's incredible... I wonder who is that kid to posses that tremendous power?"
Nana ignored her rhetorical question, picking up a fallen paper and quickly scanning it's information, before putting it back into a blue fat fail.
She had her own doubts and worries. Besides, when she saw the well known people running out of the cafeteria, it wasn't hard for her to guess the only one remaining. She was afraid of the upcoming. Still hoping that her eyes had deceived her. That it wasn't him.
... It wasn't...
X X X
"Ritsuka." Soubi rushed out of the building into the forest.
Just when his mind wanted to give up after hours of searching and the sky diyed in a mixture of dark blue and grey, indicating not a beautiful evening, he saw him... Soubi was in the library, when he had spotted the dark haired neko out the window, running into the nearby forest. The man hadn't even gave it a second glance to confirm himself, he went after his sacrifice.
Like a reward of that carelessness, doubt crept into his skull.
What if that boy he saw running, wasn't Ritsuka at all? What if his desire to be with him, caused the man to hallucinate? What if Ritsuka's inside now, desperetly searching for Soubi, worrying about his departure and thinking that something bad happened to him.
The blonde was afraid of wounding Ritsuka, he was afraid of displeasing him, scaring him... What if... What if... That will be the last straw and Ritsuka will leave him broken and alone again? Without a reason, worthles, cast away.
Soubi was spooked by those thoughts. Especially of the words 'Cast away'.
On the other hand why should he be afraid? Why should he deny his unchangible fate? Why cloud his mind with fables and fairytales, just to keep the ugly truth locked up behind?
The truth is powerful and most of all eternal, whilst the lies are just temporary happiness not better than drugs. They tricked him, confused him with joy and love. The truth will always sink in, melt with the felicity and rise up to the top of mud like a corpse or a rotten egg, while painfully crying out :"What have you done to me?"
The blonde was a blank fighter, not destined to attain happiness, affection. Just a tool to be used. He could not escape that fact, it always stuck at the back of his head...
Was there no happiness for him?
Soubi ran outside, searching for a similar parting in the woods a couple meters away.
The sky darkened, it was hard to remind oneself that it was still daytime. A storm was coming most likely.
Soubi's eyes lighted up in relief, when he finally spotted a familiar path, leading to the forest. He ran toward it searching for his sacrifice.
However suddenly he stopped in his tracks, catching his breath. The young man could go on, despite the weariness in his legs, Soubi was sure he could run further. But he did not.
Something forced the male to stop. It wasn't a physical interuption. No... It wasn't emotional: stress, pain, or illusion. No...
The man peeked around, feeling the forest's darkness close in on him, bedim his path as if wishing to trap him inside like a bird in a cage. The feeling was suffocating, but not his throat. His mind was the victim, Soubi felt it slowly begin to shut off. The trees swayed from the wind to Soubi's side, the young man nearly crumbled in response.
The melody began playing shortly after. The same. It was the same racket, with high pitched notes, lacking smooth movement.
"Stop it." Soubi wailed poorly in desperation, whirling his head and searching for his secretive companion.
That music followed his dreams and now reality, it poisoned his mind. He could not be hallucinating. Someone was tailling him, watching his movement... Reminding the broken man of his guilt, that he nearly killed Ritsu...
The blonde covered his ears and swaying his head, as an attempt to escape the hurtful sounds, ripping at his ears. The accursed melody just louden though... It was no use.
"Stooop!" The man let out a final yell, falling to his knees, whimpering. Though his cries soon turned into meaningless giberish. Was he even responsible of the vocalizations his tongue wrapped out sobbing, quivering and wailing from pain altogether?
"Stop! Kill out... I'm sorry, I'm sorry... Absolve my sins, absolve my sins...Kill!"
Soubi once stated that... Somewhere in the distant past, in a dream, he did not remember. The first time he woke up after the incident that took Ritsu's sanity away, when the Beloved's fighter woke up to the sight of Kunugi Takehito, inspecting the incident, the first time he met that man... That horrid dream...
The melody pulsed through his vains, what seemed incraved in his blood, forever inside him, forever engulfing him in anguish, the man could not escape... The guilt...
"The name will live forever incraved in thr curse's name... "
A well known dry, cold voice echoed in the man's brain, as Soubi began hyperventilating harder and clutching the strands of his golden hair. The man wailed loudly, leaning his head to the ground.
" It will not bow down to anyone. You...Will bend your head to her, Soubi-kun..."
"Sensei..." Soubi managed to grit out after a long minute...
How come the blonde thought he could escape from his teacher, his lessons?...Ritsu-sensei was out of sight, but Soubi was haunted by him, even worse than before. A voice reached his ears soon, echoing and merging slightly with his memories...
"Why? Why must I hurt others? Why csn't I die in peace? Leave me alone!" The former student gasped, tears falling down.
"God, Soubi-kun, get down from there!"
"See you in hell!" He heared himself hiss, than felt his feet droping and forever falling. Not feeling a steady surface beneath them. His body followed... And soon Soubi began coughing and scratching his throat for air. Did the rope nearly crushed his trachea then?
"I... I nearly...?" Soubi winced, not believing his memories, slowly returning to him one by one...
"Please..."
"What?! You try commiting suicide and now you're begging me?!
"Please sensei... Please end my life!"
"Soubi-kun I could never do that, no matter how much you'd beg of me..."
Soubi stared into the soil, exhaling as the voices in his brain faded...
That could not be his past, could it? He dreamt of it. There were no proof of the sounds penetrating his mind. They were all false!
The blonde man tried calming down, taking deep breaths and letting his senses taste the life of the forest. Hear the rustling of leaves, see the trees swaying, smell the fresh air surrounding him... It helped for a minute...
Until Soubi walked closer to a wierd object dangling of a branch. A rope...
His pupils shrunk, as the male agaped soundlessly. He didn't need to know for what purpose had it been hanging there... It was all to gruesome, too horrible to recall...
The young man ran away from the sight, trying to concentrate on his primal agenda-finding Ritsuka.
Luckily that proved to be quite possible, when Soubi heared someone's footsteps to the right from him. The blonde-haired male gazed at the area around him once more, noticing cold raindrops collide with the vast leaves above his head.
"Ritsuka!" Soubi shouted out, hoping for his sacrifice's response...
And to his relief it came shortly after.
"Soubi? Is that you?" A figure drew away from a huge tree, holding something round in his arms.
"Ah. Ritsuka!" Soubi ran straight to him, hugging his lover shortly. The boy's expression went from confused to happy as he returned the hug." What were you doing here?"
"Ahh. Just wanted to get some fresh air after breakfast." He responded, nuzzling his face into Soubi's shoulder." Seriously stop worrying about me so much. I'm not a child anymore Soubi."
"You're thirteen..." The blonde added in a firm voice, though the teenager hadn't responded, just stared into space and finally tore Soubi's fingers away from his back, drawing back slowly, while scrutinizing at the apple he was holding.
"Is something the matter?"
"The apple..." Soubi cocked an eyebrow, waiting for Ritsuka to finish the sentence.
"Gravity pulls it down..." The teenager whispered in a sweet voice, quiet enough as to let the syllables slur together.
"What?"
"It pulls it down with tremendous strentgh, along with it's hope, dreams, life." Soubi watched Ritsuka slowly raise the apple in his palm.
"I don't understand."
"Watch it being pulled down..." The dark haired teenager motioned his fingers. In so shifting the weight of the fruit, as it slided down gently.
"Watch it fall, Soubi!"
The man's blue eyes were concentrated on the falling apple, but this action caused something to erupt in the back of his head yet again...
Memories...
Chains restricting any movement from his wrists and arms, he was confided to a chair it seemed.
His body abused and aching... His consciousness blinked a few times until he finally cought the meaning of the room, he saw in his mind...
That was probably the day, when someone tortured him, after that Soubi ran back to Ritsu-sensei...
Soubi's eyes frantically scanned the area surrounding him...
Tables with tools, chairs and boxes thrown around, shattered bottles and a poorly functioning light bulb...
Not much of a clue to who tortuted him...
"No..." The man quivered, after a silent minute as the well known boy, standing in a corner, cracked a maddened smirk, snickering, his tail ceaselessly waging from annoyance, his violet eyes set to the petrified Soubi. " Rit... s-su... ka."
The apple fell to the soil with no resistance as a maniac whimper echoed through the forest in the raintears symphony...