A weekend posting to celebrate the Marine Corps' 237th birthday today and in honor of Veteran's Day tomorrow. To my husband and to all the servicemen and women who have served our nation proudly...and to those who've paid the ultimate price in order to preserve freedom, my heartfelt thanks to you.

This chapter is a toughie. I'll see you at the bottom.

^^TotS^^

BPOV

"SURPRISE!"

My eyes go wide and I smack my palm to my chest. I'm seriously stunned. Wasn't this supposed to be just a faculty meeting about closing procedures?

"Oh my gosh! What—I…" I'm stuttering like an imbecile; I never expected to walk into a surprise baby shower.

"Now, don't kill us! We know you hate surprises like this, but there was no way to gather all of us together again before the school year let out. After a little sweet talking, Mr. Banner agreed to call you down here under the guise of a last minute meeting." Alice is explaining herself a mile a minute. "And since you're not coming back when the new school year starts, we wanted to do this for you now!"

I smile and shake my head. "Wow, everybody, thank you so much. This looks…amazing." What used to be a boring old teachers' lounge now looks like several display settings and aisles in Babies 'R' Us. My eyes are scanning the room seeing so many of my dear friends and co-workers. There are piles of wrapped presents and bags on the side table and a gorgeous sheet cake with a rubber ducky on it. Surrounding the cake is an enormous punchbowl and trays of mini sandwiches and cookies.

"And it's really not even a shower," Alice continues, "more like a sprinkle," she adds with a wink and a hug and then guides me to a wooden rocker/glider with the ottoman to match. Not a shower? This looks like a downpour!

As shocked as I am that they surprised me on this random Thursday in the middle of May, I pretty much assumed that a shower would happen down here in North Carolina with Alice at the helm.

"You sit. I'll bring the gifts to you."

^^TotS^^

"Awww!" The crowd is 'oohing and ahhing' right along with me as I open the precious gifts that are decorated in pale yellows, blues and greens.

"Who's that one from, Bells?"

I check the tag for Angela, my baby shower secretary. "The specials teachers: Tanya, Jess and Charlotte." She nods and continues writing the details of the gift.

"So, Bella," I hear Garrett call out from across the room, "are you and Mike going to find out what you're having?"

I smile and nod. "Yeah, we didn't want to know at first, but the ultrasound is scheduled for next week. The more we think about it, the more we can't sit still about it. I think Mike wants to know just so he can choose either the pink baseball glove or the brown one. He already brought home a basketball and football."

Everyone is laughing, listening to the story of my adorable sap of a husband. He's been over the moon since we found out we're expecting. Like me, he's an only child and is desperate for us to have a big family so that wherever the military takes us, the kids will always have each other along the way. It's hard enough making friends…it's even harder to keep them when you're so young and only have three years to form relationships. Not the easiest thing to do.

Just then, my phone rings from my purse. I know it's Mike. He calls me every day after the school day dismisses, and he knew today was a half-day. He's on his way out the door to go to work, so he's checking in.

"Hi honey!"

"Hey there! Were you surprised?" He's chuckling; I can hear him slamming the car door.

"You knew? Ugh, I can't believe you!"

"Of course I knew! You think Allie and Ange would plan a shower and not tell me about it? Are we getting some good loot?"

I laugh at his silliness. "Yes, lots of great stuff. This little one is spoiled rotten already." My hand goes to my belly.

"Good. He deserves it and so does my gorgeous wife."

"So we're back to 'he' today?"

I hear him sigh, "For now…it might change later after I see you. Come by for dinner?"

I smile. "Yes, I'll be there. You want Chinese? I'm feeling Chinese right now."

"Whatever you want, love. I'm a Marine. I'll eat anything."

"Okay, I have to go. I have thirty people staring at me. Love you. See you in a few hours."

^^TotS^^

"That's everything!" Jasper announces as he comes out of the back bedroom, which is now a storage area, but will be turned into the nursery this summer.

"Thanks, guys. You're the best." I walk over and hug Alice and Jasper before they head for the door.

"Our pleasure. Call me over the weekend if you want. We can head over to Babies 'R' Us and check out the stuff that didn't get purchased from your registry. That way your parents can fill in the gaps," she adds with a wink.

I shake my head. "I'm sure they're waiting for my phone call. I presume they knew about this, too?"

"Of course! I can't plan a baby shower without having the grandparental input! They knew the whole time! That way, I took care of your North Carolina friends and your mom's taking care of your New York family and friends later this summer when you go home."

She gives me a cheek kiss and turns toward the door to follow Jasper outside. "Get some rest. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Thanks again, Allie. Love you." I wave out the door toward Jasper who's unlocking the car and waves back.

An hour later, I'm in my comfy yoga pants and favorite Marine Corps wife t-shirt, sneakers are on…I'm just waiting for the Chinese to be delivered so I can run it over to PMO and have a late dinner with Mike since he's stuck with overnight shifts tonight and through the weekend.

The doorbell rings. Thank God, 'cause I'm starving. Sweet and sour pork, here I come!

Only when I open the door, it's not the delivery guy from Dragon House.

A tall figure dressed in olive green Alphas stands before me. The porch light is on and because of the brim of his cover, his face is in shadows. Next to him stands an older African-American woman in a crisp, white uniform.

Dress whites. The Navy.

My eyes dart quickly to her collar. I see a gold oak leaf on one side and a cross on the other. In her hand, she's holding a small, leather-bound book.

The Bible.

Goosebumps sprout all over my body.

"M—may I help you?" I teeter on the brink of panic because my gut suddenly knows what's about to happen here.

"Mrs. Newton."

^^TotS^^

EPOV

"What's going on, gentlemen?" I ask, returning from the staff meeting over at the headquarters building. "We've got reports due by sixteen hundred. Don't think we can afford to be sitting around gabbing, right?"

"No sir," Ateara replies while the crowd surrounding his desk disperses. "We're just talking about what happened over in Lawson Village, sir. A shooting, they're saying."

"Shooting? Civilian?"

"No, sir. We've heard PMO was involved."

No sooner does Ateara finish his sentence and my desk phone rings. I run in, shutting the door behind me.

"MTACS-28 Supply, Captain Masen speaking, how may I help you, sir or ma'am?"

"Yes, sir."

"My men were talking about it when I came back from our meeting."

"Yes, sir."

"Okay sir."

"I believe Chaplain Gillen is on call this week, I'll contact her immediately."

"Yes, sir. I'll wait for your email then. Thank you, sir. Out here."

I hold my head in my hands.

Fucking Cherry Point, North Carolina. Nothing ever happens here. There aren't even any units deployed to hot zones right now and I have to fucking deal with a Marine senselessly shooting another Marine.

Goddammit.

I was ready to enjoy the weekend drinking beer on my deck and watching Max splash around in the ocean off Atlantic Beach while researching the night life that awaits me in Honolulu for the next three years.

Instead, I'm going to be sitting with a new widow, helping her figure out how to put one foot in front of the other for the foreseeable future.

^^TotS^^

Twenty minutes after arriving at Isabella Newton's door and telling her that her husband won't be coming home again, her two friends, the Whitlocks, arrived to comfort and support her through the shock while Chaplain Gillen and I remained to answer questions and help her through the first of many steps facing her over the next couple of months.

"Captain Masen, do you know the details of what happened to Mike?" Alice asks quietly, her eyes bloodshot and puffy.

I look at Mrs. Newton before answering the question. I told her once when the chaplain and I arrived, but I don't know if it registered at the time. It's my job to give the family as much information as I have…but I hate repeating it when the trauma just happened and emotions are so very raw.

I clear my throat. "From what we know at this point, Sgt. Newton and Sgt. Miller were called to one of the units in Lawson Village. A woman called the Provost Marshal's Office saying her husband was going crazy and threatening her and her daughter." I make brief eye contact with Mrs. Newton. "Your husband and Sgt. Miller got to the home and identified themselves after knocking. The wife answered the door, inviting the officers into the home, but the husband had walked out the back door of the house, ducked around the front and fired his weapon. Sgt. Newton was hit twice in the back. Sgt. Miller fired back at the suspect and hit him in the leg. He was taken into custody and is in the hospital right now. He'll be transferred to the brig after his injuries have been treated."

"Sirens." Mrs. Newton whispers to nobody in particular.

"Ma'am?"

She turns to her friends. "When we were leaving school this afternoon, don't you remember hearing the sirens?" They shake their heads. "I remember hearing them in the distance. I wasn't even sure they were on the base. They were so faint, I assumed it was out in town."

Her hand moves to rest on her stomach. It's only then I realize the slight protrusion under her shirt.

Shit. She's pregnant.

My stomach tightens and I have to suppress the need to run to the bathroom and vomit. Memories of my mother clutching at her stomach days after we heard about Dad. Thankfully, Lauren arrived safe and sound the following week.

"Mrs. Newton—"

"Bella," she interrupts.

"Ma'am?"

"My name's Bella. I know you're trained to be formal. There's no need, though." She stares off into the distance. "Please, just call me Bella."

I sigh, nodding.

I know how hard this is. I've been there. Yes, it was twenty-one years ago…but I was there all the same.

^^TotS^^

BPOV

In complete contrast to my mood, we buried Mike on the sunniest, warmest day of the week. Captain Masen kept his word that day he came to the door of our townhome and he's been standing by my side whenever I've needed him.

As the seven Marines march off to the adjacent path with their rifles to fire the three volleys in honor of Michael's service, I lose my balance on the first shot and Captain Masen steadies me with his hand around my back.

I feel the baby flutter inside. I've only recently started feeling those butterflies, which my girlfriends confirmed was the baby stretching and kicking enough for only me to feel. Mike had been so desperate to feel the baby kicking.

And now he never will.

I haven't cried since Captain Masen left my home four nights ago, but hearing the lone bugle play "Taps" brings tears to my eyes and I let them spill down my cheeks. There's no other song as haunting as that one.

Mike's commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel Uley, hands me the perfectly folded American flag, whispering, "On behalf of the President of the United States, the Commandant of the Marine Corps, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for Michael's service to Country and Corps."

I look directly in his eyes and swallow tightly, allowing another tear to roll down my cheek.

I can't believe this is really happening.

^^TotS^^

I hear the whispers on the other side of the curtain. My parents, my best friends, the doctors and nurses…even Captain Masen stayed .

They're all here. All here trying to support me through what's been the most difficult ten days of my life.

I hear my parents saying they don't know what to do for me.

That's fine. I honestly don't know what to do, either.

Could it be better this way? I have to wonder.

Is it right to bring a baby into the world alone? For my poor child to never understand why he or she won't ever get a chance to meet Mike?

Mom says God's being cruel.

I don't know. Maybe he's being merciful.

The doctor told me that this would've happened anyway. It wasn't stress-related.

Cervical incompetence. The dilation couldn't be stopped. They were going to try to use sutures, but it was too late. My water broke and it was time to push before my parents even made it back to the hospital room.

Mike was right. We had our boy.

And now he's gone, too.

I close my eyes, allowing the sleeping pill they gave me a little while ago take effect.

Suddenly, the most beautiful image of my husband scooping up an infant wrapped in blue comes into focus.

The most brilliant light is surrounding them. Mike's smiling at his bundle and then he looks at me. His blue eyes are bright and, oh so mesmerizing. It's impossible to accept that I'll never have my husband's icy blue crystals stare back at me again.

I hear the baby cooing and Mike starts to rock him.

My love grants me one last smile and turns toward the light.

Please, don't go yet.

My boys. Forever, now only in my dreams.

^^TotS^^

One year.

Two years.

Three years later.

"Bella, honey. We're worried about you going alone. Please just wait until our school years are over and Daddy and I will come with you."

I'm on speaker phone with my parents who are giving me their twenty-two cents on my travel plans.

"Mom...Dad, I've been a fully-functioning member of society for most of the three years since I lost Mike and the baby. I can handle a trip to Hawaii, okay? And I don't want to wait. I have the time and I have the money."

"But—"

"I promise you, I'm fine. I just want to see it. I thought I could let it go, but I can't. It was always a dream of mine to see Hawaii. Mike and I were slated to go when he got his orders from the monitor, but obviously, life made other plans."

"And you're really going to fly on those military flights?" My Dad chimes in.

I shake my head. "Yup! I have the whole summer ahead of me. I just want to get away. I'll go to Hawaii and soak up as much experience as I can and think of it as a tribute to the fun I would've had with Mike had we gotten there."

"You could just buy a commercial ticket, you know? Daddy and I would be happy to pay for it."

"Mom. Please just let me do this my way. I haven't asked for much for the last few years. I'm asking for you to be understanding of this. It's an adventure and I want to take it. I might not get the chance again."

"I remember Mike telling us these military flights could take days and days to get you to your destination." Dad's skepticism is about as subtle as a close encounter with a Mack Truck.

"And that's the fun in it. I have nowhere to be until the end of August. This is the perfect time for me to go."

I hear collective sighs on the other end. I'm thankful I'm wearing them down. I'm twenty-seven years old, I hardly need their permission, but it would be nice to have their support.

"All right, Bella. If this is what you really want. Please promise you'll call us every step of the way."

I smile, feeling the love and concern stretching from Long Island all the way down here to Morehead City.

"I love you both. And thank you for always wanting to hold my hand. I'm going to be fine. I'll be up bright and early Saturday morning at the terminal trying to get the first flight out. I promise to call if I get selected to travel, okay?"

I hear another whimper of defeat before Mom says, "Okay, honey. You do it your way. You've always been our independent girl."

"Thanks, Momma and Daddy. I love you. It's gonna be great, you'll see."

A/N: JEEZ, Yummy! Sorry that was a rough one. But it's the foundation for where we're going...and where we're going is a good, good place, I promise. Hope you hang in there.

A few military terms you might want defined:

Cover- the military's term for a hat

PMO- Provost Marshal's Office aka the military police

Alphas- The service uniform consisting of olive green and khaki colors. It's roughly equivalent in function and composition to a business suit

MTACS-28- office where Edward currently works. Stands for Marine Tactical Air Command Squadron and is based on Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point. They provide the 2nd Marine Aircraft Wing's tactical headquarters and command other units within Marine Air Control Group 28.

All my love and thanks to Team Cabana: LaMomo, my beta and my prereading CB Girls: Born, Cejsmom and Jules.

Cara No made two wonderful banners for me: a new one for the group on FB which has officially been renamed as "The Cabanaboy's Playground" and another for our new MarineCorpsWard story...or as Cara dubbed him "Spearward", LOL. Southern Sandy also made a gorgeous collage/banner for TotS. It's amazing...the picture of the hand on the knocker of the door kills me :/

My intention is to post every 10-14 days, just so you know! :)

Love to all my readers and reviewers who are coming along for this tale. So many hugs and thanks to all of you.

xo, Jen