Write date: 07-12; 07-31
Hello, readers! (if there are any)
Sorry for the slow updates blame my insecurity about this fic. I still love this, (btw I'm finishing writing this monstrosity , probably two - three chapters left) but I feel ashamed about posting it, yet I don't want to change anything either, so there's that... I'm venturing our of my comfort zone, but hey, that's interesting.
The next chapter should be up sooner, wait, not should, it will. *Strikes a determined expression*
-X-X-X-
- a week before Ritsu's incident -
"Good morning!" A joyful, loud voice rang in the office. And Soubi could already see the similarities between Yune and Nagisa - they both overused their shrilly voice needlessly.
He secretly gave a glimpse to Ritsu, who poked his head into Yune's infirmary. The blonde couldn't understand how did his teacher tolerate the new nurse... It was like having a second Nagisa, but much younger.
"Check ups?" Yune smiled at the headmaster, who simply sat on the bed next to Yune's desk, with a slightly irritated expression. He didn't answer.
Another sleepless night. Soubi seriously thought Ritsu needed some bigger help. Maybe he should go to a hospital or a specialist dealing with Chronic insomnia. But the young man stayed quiet for once. Ritsu hadn't listened to his advice even once, so what was the probability of him complying now?
"Well, your blood pressure seems to be normal..." Yune finally spoke up after her inspection, taking off the stethoscope's earpiece. While Ritsu gave a small nod, eager to get going already, his job certainly wasn't waiting for blood measurements.
"But I'm quite concerned about your quickened pulse..." The girl continued in a worried voice. Though the silver-haired man didn't pay any attention, as he fixed his sleeve to hide the million needle punctures from Soubi's curious eyes.
"Take it easy, okay, Minami-san?" She called out after a moment. While Ritsu exhaled, mouthing out a nearly hearable: 'thank's, Yune-chan' as always after morning check ups.
Actually, this wasn't his idea to attend this in the first place. However ever since he waltzed in with a gouged eye, creeping the nurse out, getting Nagisa pissed off for whatever reason and making Soubi even worried for his teacher's sake, he was technically forced to come here. And it sure took a lot of pleading from Soubi's and Yune's side to get Ritsu on board. They were caring about him. And he didn't even seemed grateful, or if Ritsu was, the man wasn't intending to show it.
Soubi watched, as the headmaster exited the infirmary, closing the door behind himself. Before the blonde heard a slap. He turned around, spotting, that Yune hit her cheek with a palm... What was that about, a mosquito?
"Oh. Silly me..." The young nurse slowly shook her head.
'Well, you kind of are.' Soubi's mind couldn't help but make that comment. Yune could be forgetful sometimes, especially if something unexpected happened. For instance, she failed to remember, where she had put her lunch, after Ritsu's punctured eye incident, when Nagisa and Soubi had stormed the infirmary as if the school was burning, only to be put down by Ritsu's threatening: 'I don't need any help, get lost!' attitude.
"I forgot to give him the painkillers." Yune whined out, whirling around in her office chair in a frantic search. Suddenly she leaned below the white desk, picking up wrapped package. She emitted a 'Ta-da' in a singful manner.
"Don't worry I can give it for him." Soubi offered, taking the box from her hold. The girl swiftly stood up then.
"So, yes, that's morphine vials and some vitamins. You can call it an early birthday present from yours truly." The ivory-haired girl giggled, while shame and timidness seeped into Soubi's face. His mind proclaimed. 'Totally not...'
"By the way!" Yune stopped the blonde from leaving one more time. Her uncovered eye narrowed behind the glasses this time, while she tapped her arm.
"I've noticed a lot of wounds in Minami's inner elbow. And he used up the last present I gave to him pretty quickly..."
Soubi's face grimaced again, when he jiggled the box in his arms a little to block out the annoying speech.' Please stop calling Morphine - a present.'
"Say, I think he's using too much painkillers... Isn't he getting a little addicted?"
"I don't know, I never see, when he uses a syringe anyway." The blonde shrugged his shoulders. Hell, he barely knew about Ritsu's horrible sleeping until recently. And he wasn't intending to spy on his sensei, to see, when the older man will puncture his vein. Gross.
"Do keep an eye on him, okay?" Yune bit her nails bashfully. And Soubi motioned his head in agreement." And just as a precaution, there you go, Naloxone. Inject him with this, then bring him here immediately, if there would be an emergency."
Soubi's frowned, as he took the vials, with his free hand. Now he was fully equipped for any threats... Great. He didn't sign up for this.
"Ritsu-sensei could inject it himself couldn't he?"
"Of course he couldn't!" The nurse exclaimed, while Soubi's mood dropped even more."I'm talking about an overdose here. That means either Minami will be fainted, will have trouble breathing or if you won't be able to awaken him. Those are the signs of an overdose. So if that would happen inject Naloxone and if needed do CPR."
Soubi nodded, chewing on the inner part of the lower lip. Let's hope that won't ever occure.
After that the light-haired man stepped out of the office, hoping, that the nurse won't trouble him again. Her words still plagued his mind though. Overdose? Was Ritsu seriously using that much medication? And most importantly, could Soubi stop this never ending circle, this absurd striking routine?
Nearly every day it was the same phenomenon. Ritsu would have trouble sleeping, then would wake up irritated, go to Yune - get some drugs. After that comes mountain called 'Work Everest', that the headmaster climbed every day, just in slower paces each time. Finally - the wounds, that someone kept inflicting on him at nights. In so the Morphine and bandages would come of use. By now Soubi was pretty sure, all of the school's medical dressings went to Ritsu.
With all this happening, the blonde was curious, if sensei still had the time to practice playing piano. Ritsu seemed slower and weaker with every passing day. It was as if these weeks aged his body by twenty years. Eventually Soubi felt as if he was living with a dead man: blackened eyes, pale skin...
But there was only one way to solve this -find the culprit, who had been hurting the headmaster like this... Soubi sighed. This will be like looking for a needle in a haystack, moreover, when Ritsu refused to talk about that matter.
"Kagh..."
A wail snapped Soubi out. He raised his head at the commotion. Ritsu was leaning at the wall in the hallway, rubbing his head, by an opened door.
"Sensei, are you alright?" Soubi perked up, speeding up his pace in anxiousness. The former student placed his hands on the silver-haired man's shoulders, while the other grumbled out weakly.
"Yes..."
"That isn't walk-through if you haven't noticed, Minami-san. Or maybe you'd wish to try your luck again?" Kunugi Takehito smirked, on the other end, knocking on the door to prove his point.
"What happened here?" Soubi's eyebrow twitched, while he held Ritsu by the shoulders.
"Well, you tell me! He just up and went to attack my office. With the speed he was marching, either he was blind or he really planned to eradicate my poor door." The dark-haired teacher placed his hands on his hips, while a small snicker escaped Soubi. Ritsu you have to be gifted, to miss that widely opened structure.
"Shut it... Kunugi..." The headmaster mumbled out, while leaning his head at Soubi's chest.
"The doors never did anything to you. Or will this be your new project? Hoho... I'm telling you, this affair will be louder than the French revolution!"
This time Kunugi Takehito made Soubi laugh out loud. And Ritsu finally pushed off of his former student, continuing his walk, to spare the humiliation. Just you wait Kunugi, this deed won't be forgotten, he won't allow to be made fun of. Not now though... The principal did have work to do. Especially finding the transfer student forms.
And just as the man reached the knob of his office, he saw Utura Hisho, standing on the side, slowly whirling his head to face Ritsu. The silver-haired man's tired mind recalled the recordings, that Hisho made to ridicule him. Therefore the conclusion in his thoughts came shortly. 'Oh, the detective's here...'
"You were waiting for me, Utura-san?" Ritsu raised an eyebrow, while uttering his 'friend's ' surname bitterly, then he took out a key from his pocket. It seemed he wasn't that drawn in to the upcoming conversation. That didn't ward off Hisho, when he tensed his lips nervously. Soon the brown-haired man let out a raspy whisper.
"We need to talk... Now..."
"Oh, do we?" Ritsu ridiculed further, unlocking his office door. "I don't think there is anything I'm interested in hearing from you."
"Please, you have to understand..." Hisho hissed, glancing around the corridor with peeled eyes. He gave Ritsu a glimpse, before violantly shoving him into the room. The man stumbled, while Hisho stepped in as well, grabbing the keys and slaming the office door behind them.
"What in the world are you doing?!" Ritsu growled, at the dark before him. The situation wasn't welcoming in the least. Ritsu swallowed hardly, but the mouth remained dry and aching like his head at the moment.
What was wrong with Hisho, the silver-haired man hadn't seen this side of his former friend. Soon Ritsu was pushed out of his comfort zone, when a pair of arms squeezed his shoulders. Although the reassuring warmth hadn't calmed Ritsu one bit.
"Hisho, what's the meaning of this?!"
"Listen to me, you have to listen... I want to apologize before it's too late."
"Shut up. Let me go..." Ritsu groaned due to Hisho tightening his hold on the injured shoulder. The headmaster tried to tear the forceful hands away, but the other dug his fingers deeper. "Didn't you heard what I said?! Let me go this instant...Agh."
Ritsu's head hit the wall, left from his precious butterfly collection. Just then he saw, that his friend cornered Ritsu to the wall all the while tearing his shoulders like a starving hawk. The silver-haired man felt his shirt getting stiff, whilst wet liquid dripped down his upper arm - Hisho probably reopened the wound.
"I'm sorry, Ritsu... I'm so sorry..."
"If your still crying about those tapes, don't waste your breath." Ritsu smirked through the pain. Of cource he won't forgive Hisho for making fun of him with that. However the brown-haired psychologist just shook his head low, unable to meet the other in the eyes.
"I'm sorry of what's to happen to you..."
"What are you talking about?" The headmaster seemed confused, as a false grin spread across his face. This whole setting was just too absurd for Ritsu not to smile. His former friend, who was always calm and logical, acting violent and desperate now. The silver-haired man thought he was looking at his own reflection, when he had been eighteen. Who had changed their roles all of a sudden?
"Just don't blame me, when it'll all end... Please, Ritsu, don't hold a grudge against me... When you'll end.. "
"What..." Ritsu frowned, watching as Hisho vacated his nails from his shoulders. Then the brown-haired psychologist suddenly left through the door without adding another word. Was that a threat?
Ritsu touched his bloody shoulder in thought, then winced slightly, leaning at the wall with a hurtful wail. The ache restored along with the freshly ripped flesh. Why did Hisho put more force specifically on his right shoulder? Did he knew there was a wound? The silver-haired man did everything to hide it. Although Nagisa's prying eyes eventually saw the cuts... Still, from where did Hisho got that information from? He hadn't spoken to Nagisa or Yune. Nor to Soubi...
Ritsu washed his face with a palm, letting out another dry breath. A different question invaded his mind: what was he suppose to do in his office? The man suddenly looked around the darkened room, though not a single object refreshed his memory. His head felt empty all the same, while a distant buzz squirmed in his brain. First, the encounter with the door, now this... It just wasn't his day...
X X X
"Oh, Ritsu, what are you doing here?" Nana asked, not turning around from her screen, while a few consoles for writing commands popped up on her desktop.
"How do you knew, it was me?" Ritsu seemed amused by that prediction, while his eyes made out Soubi sitting at the other computer. What was he doing, playing Wisdom Ressurection?
"I saw you, through the cameras." Nana pointed out. She preferred to keep this room shrouded in total darkness, therefore the only light came in from the monitor screens. Was this meant to save the academy's money, or waste it? Because the principal was sure a light bulb ate less energy than six computers. Nana finished typing and finally gave a glimpse to Ritsu. Her voice suddenly let out a gasp. This didn't went unheard by Soubi's ears unfortunately, as he shuddered like shook by electricity too. And Ritsu only narrowed his eyes in annoyance, what now?
"Dear! What happened to you? Your shoulder. Did you got injured?" She exclaimed upon her observation...
What? He did changed his shirt and redressed the injury. Hence Ritsu raised an eyebrow as a response. Before he saw it himself, the stab wound was bleeding through the bandage.
"I hope that's an old one... " Soubi added to the commotion, standing up. Now the questioning should begin, Ritsu guessed sadly. He spotted Nana's puzzled gaze then. Her eyes skipped from the headmaster to his student.
"It's nothing... Hisho just squeezed too tightly..." The principal tried to brush off the comments. Squeezed? Assaulted should rather be the word, though the silver-haired man hid that fact. Nana gave a nod in acknowledgment.
"Who's this Hisho?" Soubi cutted in soon.
"A friend..." Ritsu muttered, while crossing his arms and shifting his attention to the former student." Utura Hisho is a psychologist. He's former Wakeless fighter. And works in two schools to hide Septimal Moon's identity from his civilian family."
Soubi's face portrayed doubt and he slowly tilted his head to the side.
"That's not exactly a tone a person would use to introduce a friend... Actually I'm quite surprised you have any..."
Nana giggled at that. While Ritsu contained a posture of a statute, whilst jabbing his student with a malicious glare as if ordering him to shut up, or there will be consequences to pay... However Soubi seemingly wasn't afraid of his sensei anymore. And so the speech went on.
"On the other hand. I'd like to see your definition of a friend... Maybe you should check the dictionary before using that word."
"I think we should change the theme..." Nana smiled, barely containing a snicker. Then she turned her attention back to the silver-haired man, who's gaze softened." Ritsu, did you finish filling the forms of the transfer students? I would like to put them to the data base."
"What? Transfer students..." Ritsu seemed lost. After a while he lifted his glasses, as remembrance struck. That's why he was going to his office, to eventually start sorting the information and here Nana wanted it finished. Work was seriously starting to chase him." Yes, yes. I'll finish them..."
"Well, hurry up. Those students are here for three weeks already and teachers can't grade their work, because in the system their profiles don't exist." Nana's voice got a little darker and the female set her fingers on her lap. It could be the case, that Nana was annoyed, but she rarely showed that emotion." And what about the documents for future funding from the government? Most of all, where are the reviews for September's paychecks? It's been a whole month and besides I still don't see any plans for meeting questions from you. It's like you don't even attend anymore. Be truthful, Ritsu, are you slacking off?"
"Ouch." Soubi gasped, widening his eyes at the mountain of critique. That must have really sting Ritsu-sensei. Moreover, when he worked from day to night these last weeks, not having a minute to spare and here she says he's being lazy. The only difference in Ritsu's job was his speed, it diminished gratefully.
"You don't have worry, I'll be done with it..." The silver-haired man nodded, no emotions leaked out though.
Soubi parted his lips to oppose the verbal absurd. It wasn't even Ritsu's fault, that he was getting slow at his job. Furthermore the added stress won't make things better. If only more people would know about his sensei's worsening condition, then perhaps they could leave less paper work to him. It was obvious, that Ritsu wasn't feeling well. However all of Soubi's plans to oppose went down his throat. He just swallowed his arguments, staying quiet.
"Well, we'll be off now... I'll help you with the paper work, Ritsu-sensei." Soubi bowed his head to Nana instead. Then quickly grabbed Ritsu by the elbow, leading him away. For some reason Ritsu followed, not uttering a word.
Actually the blonde was doubtful, of how truthful was the last statement. He wasn't planning to stick in Ritsu's company to sort out some student forms.
Though Soubi tried not to care about those words at the moment, as he dragged his sensei into a supply closet, away from the hallway. There were piles of boxes and tall black shelves, standing by the opposite walls. The younger man then turned to Ritsu, releasing a tch.
"Idiot... Why don't you tell anyone?!"
"Tell what, that I'm not eating?"
"Eh?" Soubi cocked an eyebrow at his teacher's comment, when the other man grinned as if he was a dimwit or was in a mood to annoy athers. If it was the latter, that would mean, that Ritsu will smoothly throw Soubi off the real subject. Or perhaps this all was just another facade of despair. As odd as it sounded Ritsu did favored that kind of act these days. Although it might actually be the truth. The silver-haired man did seemed thinner. And... Did Ritsu ever left his office in the daytime?
Soubi just massaged his temples to block out the endless possibilities, before hissing out.
"We'll talk about that later... Stop pretending you're alright. You are not! Even if you want to, you can't do things the same way you used to do, sensei." Ritsu's healthy eye stared off into distance."Just stop, you must ask for help... Did you even heard what I said?! Sensei!"
Soubi suddenly swayed the teacher by the shoulder, to gain attention. And Ritsu's lips curvd into a gentle smile again, letting his body waver. Suddenly his eyes widened from a fabricated surprise.
"So you mentioned, that you'll help me with the documents?"
"I would punch you straight in the face, if you wouldn't have been wounded." The former student growled in response. And Ritsu's voice regained a more serious tone.
"Then why don't you, Soubi-kun?"
"Huh?"
"Why don't you? Is it hard to raise your arm?" He smirked devilishly, caressing Soubi's palm with both hands.
The blonde was now against the cardboard wall, with Ritsu nearly leaning at him. He felt the air around him getting stiff as if there was no oxygen left to take in. Sweat scurried down his face, when he felt, that Ritsu forcefully clenched his palm as if Soubi was a puppet. Was this agonizing feeling created by their closeness, was he still scared of Ritsu? Or perhaps that voice, that he couldn't decipher...
"I can help you lift that flesh up. Then you'll just have to hit me..." The silver-haired man purred right to his ear, blowing a few strands away with his breath. " You'll feel better... Tell me, Soubi-kun, how long had you carried that hate for me? For how many years? Didn't it hurt?..."
Sensei gazed at his silent student, maliciously then.
"Didn't it hurt, when I took your ears? Or when I would whip you? Don't you dare tell me, it didn't. You begged... Prayed... Hoped for me to stop..." He fell silent suddenly. After a few minutes he emitted a final hurtfully mocking sentence, as if making fun of himself." Now, did I? No..."
"Stop..."
"Why? Come on, Soubi-kun, huhuhu... Is that fear I hear in your voice? Are you stupid, Soubi-kun? You think I'll hurt you in this pitiful state?! Look at me, I can barely walk!" The man snickered and brought Soubi's knuckles to his lips. Then he layed a warm, yet a lonely kiss on them as if the price had been to big, leaving Ritsu to only dream of the sweetness, that his lips starved for. No more... Just one...
Whilst Soubi stood still like banded and chained to the wall behind him. It was as if every bit of his strength scattered. Somehow this state of being weak reminded him of the old days, when his sensei used to be a lot more possessive, when Soubi's life didn't had a definite meaning and he was just a tool to be used by Ritsu's whim, mocked endlessly by others and by the only person, who was suppose to be his guardian - no, a sacrifice.
Ritsu had murmured it one night, while caressing Soubi's hair, no doubt feeling mesmerized. He had talked about their future then. Ritsu had fed Soubi's yearning childish soul with fabricated hope and dreams of one day being united. Those sweet promises, that Soubi's training will be with a cause, had been engraved in the young one's heart. Ritsu had spoken of love, happiness... So where had it disappeared to? The teacher ripped out those roots of Soubi's heart and body himself. Like a ravenous blackbird, destroying his own perfectly modeled creation, that he worked so hard on, he shattered it, without a single drop of guilt. Yes, this feeling was similar to the blonde: being submissive, powerless, pathetic... Just the context was a lot different.
After a short moment of ragged breathing, Ritsu started whispering in his student's ear, leaning at him wholly.
"Do you hear it? The quiet, Soubi-kun. Do tell me, is it gorgeous? I can't hear it. I can't enjoy the silence anymore... Those regrets, mistakes. I've done so much... Too much... Those demons don't let me sleep. Now they won't let me live."
By then Soubi had a fair idea, that the sleep deprivation was making Ritsu delusional.
"I can't take it anymore! They follow me, those black figures. I want rest, Soubi-kun. Rest..." Soubi heard his teacher's gruff voice breaking down. "Help me. Let me listen to that quiet once again."
"You're not saying..."
The silver-haired man shook his head to his student's question. Ritsu's eyes were peeled and lips shuddered, while he begged like a sinner to the God. Ritsu dug his fingers into Soubi's arms frantically.
"I'd rather watch you take away my life than anyone else... Please, Soubi-kun, give this filthy beast salvation."