***IMPORTANT MESSAGE! I've gotten several reviews and PMs over the last few weeks that alerts haven't gone out properly to some of you. Please, PLEASE make sure you are caught up by checking the last couple of chapters
so that you're not confused or missing important pieces of plot.***
Now...everybody grab a buddy, take a deep breath, and I'll see you at the bottom. Please stay to read the author's note.
^^TotS^^
EPOV
I've been sick to my stomach for the last three days. Knocking on the door of Mr. Fitzgerald's house to let him know that his wife was killed during a training exercise back in California was beyond horrific.
The man, who can't be much older than I am, fell to his knees and sobbed right there in the foyer. His kids came running to see what the fuss was about. Seeing their dad on the ground, they panicked. I couldn't tell them anything until he said something…it was a fucking mess. The screams of those two children calling out for their dead mother have been permanently burned into my brain.
Coming home and confessing my love for Bella was the only thing I could resolve to do that night. If I told her the truth— what I've been too afraid to admit for quite a while— I felt like that would help her to hold on, maybe. But hold on to what? To me? To life? How can I ask her to sit in a chair, surrounded by bubble wrap and never get sick, never get hurt…never leave?
My brain is a jumbled mess. But hearing her say she loved me back was pretty much the best moment of my life. It took away the agony if only for a moment.
I've been coordinating with the point of contact in Pendleton to set up the services for Staff Sergeant Fitzgerald. Her family is from the Oceanside area, so her body will be kept in California for a local funeral service and burial. Mr. Fitzgerald requested a memorial service be held here on Kaneohe as well, because they've established so many important relationships both at their jobs and within the community.
Needless to say, my weekend with Bella was completely ruined. I'd hoped to bring her to the Polynesian Cultural Center to see Nalani's show, but that never happened. Instead, she's been home with Max during the day and waiting for me with open arms when I walk through the door in the evening.
She runs a bath for me as soon as I get home. Normally, I'm not a bathtub kind of guy, but she insists. I'll admit that having her perched behind me, massaging my shoulders and neck certainly helps to ease the unavoidable tension I'm carrying around. Beyond that though, just her presence alone is like a salve to my raw emotions.
I haven't been very talkative, and I know it worries her. I'm just inside my head too much right now, but I'm trying. I'm trying so desperately to not allow my fear to continue to rule my every thought and move. It's hard though…so fucking hard. Watching Mr. Fitzgerald go through this torture with his two young children has fried my nerves and has me hanging on by a very thin thread.
Bella and I have made love every day for the last month, and it's always been incredible. But for the last few days, it's like I'm trying to absorb her. I can't get close enough… deep enough. It's as if I need to consume her for fear she won't always be by my side.
The rational part of my brain knows that we'll have to say goodbye in a few weeks when she leaves for Korea. I know it, and I accept it, but it still terrifies me. What if something happens to her while she's traveling? What if she needs me and I can't get to her quickly enough?
This is all so fucking new to me, and I'm terrified of screwing it up. I want to hold on to her and never let her go. I want to be able to keep my eye on her every moment of the day. Is this normal? It can't be. Take Emmett and Riley, for example. They let their girls go off and live their lives every day, trusting they'll come home safe and sound.
It's not that I don't trust Bella, not at all. It's that I don't trust the world. I don't trust this life with someone as precious as my girlfriend. Leaving things to chance is a load of crap. I thrive on the control of knowing things will be a certain way…knowing she'll always be out of harm's way. 'Cause God knows I never want to be the one on my knees sobbing over the loss of her.
This war inside me is exhausting.
"Hey," Bella whispers and crawls into bed. I close my laptop, figuring that work can wait till daylight. My mind is wandering anyway. Right now, I need her.
"Hi." I raise my arm and she curls herself into my side, her head resting on my chest, over my heart. "What's up, beautiful?"
"I want you to call Bailyn. You need a pick-me-up. Let's go see a movie or something. And I want us to go out to see Nalani's show."
I nod. "Okay, we can do all that. The Polynesian Cultural Center is huge, like an all-day event, but we can at least go see the nighttime performances. Then maybe over the weekend we can go back to see the rest of the exhibits and events."
She rolls on top of me effortlessly and props herself up on my chest.
"Thank you," she sighs and dusts her lips across mine. "I've missed you." Her voice sounds so sad…lonely even.
I swallow tightly, knowing that my behavior has left her out in the cold.
"I'm sorry," I croak, my answer laced with guilt and overwhelming fear for the damage I've done. "Nothing is more important to me than you."
She leans down and kisses me gently. When she pulls away and lays her head down on my chest again, she whispers, "I know."
"Tomorrow when I come home at lunch we'll Face Time with Bay, and then we'll shoot out of here by sixteen-thirty to get to Nalani's show. Does that work for you?"
"Sounds perfect. And thank you."
She sighs and I can feel the flutter of her eyelashes against my chest. Minutes pass before either of us speaks again.
"I know this call was awful for you, Edward, but please know you can let me in. I'm a great listener…I just don't want you to lock yourself up." She pauses to squeeze my shoulder. "I want to be here for you."
My arms tighten around her petite frame and I press my mouth to the top of her head.
"Okay." Lame response, but I haven't got a clue what else to say. There are aspects of my job that I can share and others that are classified. But ultimately, who wants to hear about someone else's unbearable pain when nothing can be done to help them? Least of all, someone who had to go through it herself! And then lost a child on top of it?
What's the right answer here?
"I'll be glad to be in Okinawa, if for no other reason than my CACO duties will end."
She tilts her head up to look at me, and I nod.
"Yeah, the company and battalion I've been assigned to already have a few CACOs on deck, so I'll probably get a break finally. My training will stay with me. If and when they ever need me I can step in, but for this upcoming tour, I probably won't get any calls."
Bella rolls off me and sits up, crossing her legs, probably thrilled that I've strung more than four words together since last Thursday.
I prop myself up with another pillow behind my head, ready to give her some more insight into my other job.
"I was trained in Quantico after I got commissioned. At my first duty station at Camp Lejeune, I had to make eight calls in the three years I was there."
Bella gasps in horror as I shake my head remembering. The faces of the family members who received me at their doors have blurred over the years, but the bellows and the shrill cries are impossible to forget. It's like a sickening symphony that continuously plays in the corner of my mind. Sometimes the sounds blare in my ears, and other times I try to mute them…especially now that I've allowed myself to fall in love with this amazing woman.
"I wasn't supposed to have any CACO duties at Cherry Point."
She widens her eyes in surprise. "So how did you end up on my doorstep?"
I shrug. "Fluke, I guess. There were two other CACOs on the base who would've been called in before me, but one was on leave and the other had just been deployed." I look at her and our eyes lock. "Crazy, huh?"
She grabs my hand and squeezes. "What you call a fluke, I call fate."
I get lost in her gaze for a few seconds, wondering if perhaps there is a grand scheme to all of this…our history and the paths we've traveled that led us to arriving on that same flight together. It's certainly a nice story, but I still have my doubts.
"C'mere," I say, pulling her body toward mine. When her head is within reach, I push my fingers through her hair to frame her face and swallow my nerves.
"I know we haven't said it since we said it the other night…but I really have fallen in love with you, and I'm trying as hard as I can." My voice is gruff with emotions bubbling to the surface.
She nods, her eyes glistening as the tears pool. "I know you are," she chokes out softly, "and I love you, too."
After a gentle kiss, she tucks herself back into the crook of my shoulder and we fall asleep holding each other.
^^TotS^^
"We have a surprise for you, Bay." I say, smiling at Bella who's grinning and biting her bottom lip. "When I come home to visit you in a few weeks, Bella's coming with me."
Bailyn's face is sort of frozen in happiness and shock…and possibly confusion.
"Bay, did you hear me?"
She nods like a bobble-head. "Yeah."
"Do you understand what I said?" Her dark blue eyes wander across the screen showing she's deep in thought. We don't get a response except for, "Ummm."
"Bella's coming with me to California. She wants to meet you!"
"WHAT?!" My niece goes from zero to ninety in half a second. "Belle's coming here!"
I don't think she's asking a question, just screaming the facts in case the people in Nevada can't hear her clearly.
We're watching Bailyn's reaction, chuckling. Bella threads her fingers through mine and turns toward me again. I give her a reassuring wink to convey my thanks for encouraging me to make this phone call. Though we've only really known each other for six weeks, she knew that speaking with Bay would help to lift me from this funk.
And in that moment, I force the symphony of screams to soften in my head.
^^TotS^^
As promised, I make it home as quickly as possible that afternoon and we're at the Polynesian Cultural Center by quarter after five. The stage show is fantastic, definitely my favorite of all the luaus. Well, except maybe the one on Maui where Bella agreed to be my girlfriend. That particular night wins, hands down, if only because I ended the evening as the luckiest bastard on the planet.
We find Nalani before we leave, so Bella can tell her how much we enjoyed the show. She had no idea we were even in the audience tonight. I've been a piece-of-shit friend ever since this CACO call happened— totally incommunicado. I didn't even know Emmett and Rosalie had spent a long weekend in Kauai but are back already. Riley's been busy getting everything squared away with DEERS and preparing to have Nalani and Kalia listed as his dependents in order to expedite the smooth transition from here to Okinawa when he PCS's in October.
Life goes on. I have to remind myself of that. A devastating, life-altering shift for this particular family, yes, but I need to remember that the world keeps spinning. And just because I've witnessed yet another relationship end in a horrible tragedy, it doesn't have to mean that Bella and I are doomed to the same fate.
My personal pep-talk sounds great in my head, now I just have to walk the walk.
^^TotS^^
"That was a great flick."
"It was," I say, reaching for Bella's hand as we exit the theater. "Thank you for kicking me in the ass for the last couple of days. I needed it."
We reach the car and she wraps her arms around my lower back.
"I was worried about you for a bit there, Cap— I mean, Major." She winks and giggles after correcting her error. "Thought I was losing you."
I exhale nodding, knowing that my silence and the internal battle I wage with my demons put Bella into a panic.
"I'm fighting it. It's not easy, but I swear I'm trying to fight for you…for us."
She rises on her tip-toes and kisses me sweetly. "I know you are. I guess I just needed to hear those reassuring words from you."
"Well, how about if I take you home and reassure you in other ways, too," I say leaning down to kiss her neck.
She smiles and squeezes my ass as I open the car door for her. While she's getting in, I check my phone and see a missed call that came from Riley around twelve-thirty. My phone display says it's quarter to two; I don't want to call him back so late. It can wait till morning.
Right now, I have to bring my girlfriend home and show her what she means to me.
^^TotS^^
My alarm buzzes at five and it's painful. I knew dinner and then a late-night movie was going to hurt in the morning, but I wanted to keep my word to Bella that I was going to try to move past my withdrawn mood and allow myself a little bit of a good time.
After my shower, I come out to an empty bedroom to find Bella up and fluttering around the kitchen making me coffee, biscuits and sausage gravy for breakfast.
"You didn't have to do this, silly," I say coming up behind her and nibbling along her shoulder. "Y'know…I'm standing here in a towel. You could very easily take advantage of this situation, Clementine."
She laughs while stirring her gravy. "Your offer is very tempting, Major, but you told me you have an early morning meeting with the colonel and I refuse to be the reason you're late getting in to work again.
"All right, you win," I chuckle, walking away. "Can I get a rain check for lunchtime?"
I hear her cracking up from the other room. "When have I ever refused that?"
I dress quickly and start lacing up my boots when the doorbell rings. I look around confused, glancing at my bedside clock to ensure that it is, indeed, only 5:30 in the morning.
Who the hell is knocking on my door at this hour?
Bella appears in the bedroom doorway looking apprehensive. "Umm."
"Yeah, I know. Hang on."
I walk past and peer through the peephole to find Emmett standing on the other side. He and Rosalie have their flight to Australia today, maybe he's just here on their way to the airport to say goodbye?
"It's Em," I tell Bella with a shrug, pulling the door open.
Emmett doesn't say a word, and his face is stoic…worn. He seems completely run down, and if I'm not mistaken, his eyes are looking red and glassy.
"Hey, Emmett," Bella chirps, walking into the living room boldly, no longer concerned that we have a random stranger at my door at this early hour.
He barely cracks a smile toward her and refocuses on me. A sick feeling suddenly overwhelms me as I'm reminded of that horrid nightmare I had while camping with Bella at Kilauea.
Emmett, wearing his Alphas, with tears in his eyes, is the one standing at the open door with the chaplain next to him.What the hell? Em's not a CACO. Apparently, this isn't my house call; I'm merely a deeply confused spectator off to the side.
"Emmett? What are y—?" My mother's quaking voice trails off.
"I just came from Castle Medical Center. Riley tried calling you, but it was late."
My jaw clenches and my stomach starts churning when I hear Emmett's voice rather than my mom's from the nightmare. I gather my wits enough to respond to him. "I saw I missed his call. What—"
"There was an accident last night," he interrupts me. "Nalani was on her way back to Ri's after work. Some fool in the oncoming lane was texting at the wheel."
"Oh, God," Bella calls out from behind me, and it causes me to step back from Emmett. My brain continues to grasp at flashes from that nightmare last month.
I look to Emmett and he's nodding his head. My mom collapses into his arms and the kids retreat, calling out for their mother.
The next thing I know, Emmett is carrying her into the house and the chaplain is following behind him, shutting the door in my face. Before the scene inside disappears from my view, I peer in to see a very pregnant Bella push herself up from a recliner, clutching her throat and screaming—
I shake my head to come back to the here and now.
"So what— what happened? She got hit? She's at the hospital?" I bark out, annoyed and anxious.
He nods only slightly and his face pales. "The paramedics rushed her in. Ri and Kalia got there in time to see her awake…but—"
"Oh, Jesus." Bella grasps her waist. "Is she—"
I cut her off. "What is it, Em? She died? You telling me she fuckin' died?"
The flash of pain on his face when his eyes fill with tears tells me all I need to know.
"Three hours ago."
My hands fly to the top of my head while I hear Bella's cry rip from her chest. I dreamed this…I dreamed this but I didn't. Emmett at the door, tears in his eyes, Bella screaming. My ears start pounding as I hear the blood rapidly whooshing through them.
The walls start closing in as the chorus of screams blasts in my head. All I can think of is young Kalia losing the only blood family she had left, and my best friend Riley…who turned his life around for true love and has now been left with nothing.
^^TotS^^
BPOV
Edward contacts Colonel Cullen, who hadn't been notified of Riley's personal tragedy since it only transpired during the night. He's understanding of Edward and allows him to just be on-call and check in with his office throughout the day.
I quickly get dressed, and before six we're in the car following Emmett back to Riley's house. The three-minute ride is spent in complete silence.
What could be said? A beautiful soul was taken from us far too soon. I'm completely devastated, and I only met Nalani a couple of weeks ago. My heart breaks for Edward, Riley and of course, Kalia.
We walk into Ri's house not knowing what to expect. Kalia is stretched across the couch with her head in Rosalie's lap. We can hear Riley talking in the kitchen and quickly realize he's speaking to his mother, who apparently plans to fly out as soon as she can.
Emmett and Edward walk to the back of the house to be with him, and I sit down next to Rosalie who's smoothing Kalia's hair off her tear-stained face. I put my arm around Rosalie's shoulder and she tips her head into the crook of my neck.
My tears start streaming again just watching this sweet, little girl whose life completely shattered just a few short hours ago.
I don't know how long we remain like that, but eventually Riley comes out to the living room wanting to check on Kalia. I stand up to embrace him.
"Riley." I wrap my arms around his shoulders. "I— I can't believe this…I'm so, so sorry." My voice breaks at the end.
He just looks at me, nodding, swallowing, eyes brimming with tears for probably the hundredth time today. I unclasp my hands and squeeze his arms before pulling away.
When I look over at Edward, he's staring at me with a blank expression. His shoulders rise and fall in defeat as he turns to the couch to watch Kalia's sleeping form. His nostrils flare while he tenses his jaw and shakes his head.
We're all at a complete loss as to what to do next.
One minute Nalani was here, and the next minute she's gone.
And everything…everything has changed just like that.
^^TotS^^
Edward and Emmett help Riley plan Nalani's funeral over the next couple of days. Riley's officially on leave from work and Edward has been able to help out quite a bit with the arrangements, though he still goes into his office for a few hours at a time.
Riley's mom and brother arrived two days ago and are staying in a local hotel. Though Riley appreciates their support, they never met Nalani and certainly don't know Kalia at all. Their kindness is evident though, because they come to Riley's first thing in the morning and stay late into the night. They've spent a lot of their time in the kitchen keeping us fed— when we feel like eating— and just trying to keep the house straightened as we all move through our days like zombies.
As for our small group, we've all been taking turns sleeping at Riley's house to be there for him and especially for Kalia. She's absolutely desolate and doesn't know where to throw herself. She learned about death much too young, not ever remembering her own mom, but having to bury her grandmother three years ago at the tender age of seven.
How can a young child process such loss? The word unfair doesn't even begin to cover it.
The sun is setting and the house is fairly quiet, except for some conversation from time to time. I'm lying on my side on the floor for no particular reason, when Kalia walks into the room. I watch her as she gets down in front of me and scoots her body back until we're spooning on the floor. God, my heart is aching for this poor girl. We lie there together, my arm draped over her waist, and out of the corner of my eye I see Edward come into view. Moments later, he tucks his body behind mine and folds his arm over Kalia and me.
I immediately get choked up, because this is the first time he's voluntarily touched me in three days. When we're sleeping at Riley's, we've been on separate couches or in different rooms. And the one night we spent at his home, he crashed for the night in his recliner, watching television in the living room, while I was wide awake and feeling lonely in his bed.
Conversation between the two of us has been practically non-existent, but we've also rarely been alone. When we do get a free moment, I wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his chest, just needing to feel close. His hugs seem mechanical…just reciprocating for the sake of the gesture. I'm trying not to allow my head to dwell on his apathetic responses. Once we have some time alone together, I know we'll be able to reconnect again.
We've got to be able to reconnect again.
^^TotS^^
Traditional Hawaiian funerals lean toward celebrating a person's life, rather than agonizing in his or her death. Though she was taken from Riley and Kalia much too soon, most friends and guests spend the day laughing, telling stories and spreading the love that came naturally to Nalani.
We all do our best to make it through the day, just being there in whatever capacity Riley and Kalia need. They both put on a brave face, and Kalia doesn't move too far from Riley's side for the majority of the time.
Back at the house at the end of the evening, Riley whispers that he wants to be alone with Kalia tonight. He knows we're all only a phone call away, but he needs to have time with her…even if they're just quiet together.
"Ready to go?" Edward's voice comes up behind me as I'm unloading the dishwasher.
"Yeah, I'm just about done here. Give me five minutes."
"Sure. Take your time." He walks out without another word.
I finish in the kitchen and find Kalia lying on top of her bed— well, in the bedroom she sleeps in when she and Nalani stay with Riley. It has some young girlish touches to it. A One Direction poster is pinned to the back of her door. Her twin comforter has little pink rosebuds all over it. On the standard Marine Corps-issued wooden nightstand is a red satin-framed picture of her and Nalani from Christmas with "Mele Kalikimaka" embroidered below the photo.
On the left side of her dresser is a collage of photos of her and Nalani wearing luau costumes in all different poses together. It's what's on the right side of the dresser that makes my heart clench and ache for her pain. A simple silver five-by-seven frame with the words, "My Family" across the top. It was a picture Rosalie snapped of the three of them minutes after Riley proposed on July Fourth. They're all sitting on the blanket together. Nalani is on Riley's lap with his arms enveloping her, and Kalia is kneeling behind Riley with her arms draped around his neck. It almost looks like he's giving her a piggy-back ride. Their smiling faces are all leaning toward each other, tears of happiness in their eyes as they took that first step in starting a future as a family.
And sixteen days later, it all shattered at their feet.
I take a deep breath and gather my composure.
"Hey kiddo," I whisper tentatively and she turns to make eye contact with me.
"Hi, Bella."
"Honey, Edward and I are going to take off for the night, but we want you to know that if you need or want either of us, we'll come right back over, okay? Riley already knows he can call us…or you can call us. It doesn't matter what time it is. We'll come, okay?"
She nods, tiredly. "M'kay."
I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her small body. "Try to get some sleep, sweetie. And I'll see you in the morning."
Her hug is weak around my neck. "Bye."
I let go, kissing her forehead and tuck her under the covers, wiping a tear from my eye.
Out in the living room, I find Riley and Edward sitting on the couch.
"How is she?" Riley asks.
My lips are pursed and I shrug. "She's quiet, but tucked in." I pick up my bag from the end table. "If she has a rough night—"
Riley interrupts, "I promise to call. I just want to see if we can do it for this one night on our own."
Edward and I hug Riley goodbye before driving back to our house...Edward's house.
We're both silent while getting ready for bed and slide under the covers without a word. He lies on his back, the sheet draped across his waist, his left arm above his body, hand fisted at his forehead. I scoot close to him and tuck myself into the nook under his right shoulder. He doesn't close his arm around me like he normally has in the past, and it stings like hell.
At least five minutes pass before I get up the courage to speak.
"I love you, Edward. I love you and I'm so sorry that Nalani is gone. I know how much you cared about her."
He gives me no response and the pit in my stomach gets heavier.
I don't know how long I wait to hear his voice, but sleep claims me eventually. It's the first sound sleep I've gotten in five nights because he's finally by my side. I can't be sure if I dreamt it or not, but I'm almost positive I heard Edward whisper, "I love you," somewhere in the night.
^^TotS^^
Edward moves around the room in the early morning as quietly as possible, but it wakes me nonetheless. When he leaves without the kiss to my temple that I've grown accustomed to, I cry myself back to sleep. I wake two hours later, get ready and head over to Riley's house. Emmett and Rosalie are already there and we decide to drive up to Laie to Nalani's apartment.
Riley's plan is to clear out Nalani's place entirely. He doesn't want— and doesn't want Kalia— to have to make any hasty decisions about the contents. Every piece of furniture, every decorative knick-knack, every plate, every sock, no matter how insignificant, he just wants it all packed up and he'll go through it at a later date when he's not in a raw, grieving state. Right now he's just mission-focused: get this job done, then figure out how to live life without her.
Doing this work as a group makes the most sense as well, because after we all have to leave in a few weeks, Riley would be left alone with this monumental task to complete on his own. And at this point, Kalia has to be his main focus. Emmett and Rosalie have less than a week before they have to report to Okinawa. When Nalani died, they cancelled their trip to Australia.
With all four adults working non-stop, we have her two-bedroom apartment boxed up by the end of that day. Riley's going to get a work party of his Marines to come out one day after work and help him move the furniture to a nearby storage facility. In exchange for their hard labor, he'll buy them all dinner. I remember Mike used to participate in similar work parties for officers and friends.
I call Edward to see if he wants to grab some pizza with all of us, but he doesn't answer his cell phone. Nobody thinks anything of it, but to me, it continues to be a warning signal that he's checking out and I'm losing him to his demons.
I stay to help put Kalia to bed and then head back to Edward's house. He isn't there and there's no sign that he ever came home at all during the day. I get ready for bed and just lie there in the dark, staring at the ceiling fan.
What do I do? Do I go to his office and demand answers? Make him fight for us? Do I just stay here and wait? I'm so torn right now.
On one hand, I could play the pissed off girlfriend. Yes, he lost his friend of many years, but I just buried her, too. And she meant a lot to me in just the short amount of time I knew her. I'm aching with grief for Riley and Kalia because I know what it's like to bury someone and feel completely desolate without them. Why does Edward get to be the only one who feels jilted? We're all grieving here.
But then I come back to the person I am in my heart, my true self. The one who knows that his life, since he was nine years old, has had many tragedies. Then, as a part of his career, he's had the collateral duty of bringing the worst news to strangers and it's affected him greatly.
I had the pleasure of watching Edward transform from someone who never dreamed of getting into a long-term relationship, to hearing him propose to me, albeit drunkenly, because he couldn't stand the thought of us getting separated after just finding each other. I believe him when he says he loves me. I can see it in his actions and I can hear it in his words.
As amazing as our Hawaiian vacation was, it seems it wasn't enough medicine to cure all his past hurts, which were only reinforced with an extremely difficult CACO call as soon as he got back to work. Then, just as I thought he might've been pulling himself out of the pit of despair, Nalani was killed and he's right back in there, even deeper than before. He may be thirty-four years old, but he's terrified and sick about the thought of leaving me if he ever died suddenly, or worse, the thought of me dying and leaving him in unbearable pain, like he's witnessed from all of the CACO calls he's made in his career. Like he's seeing in Riley and Kalia now.
So again, what do I do? Which road do I take? Pissed off and unforgiving or understanding but helpless?
I dry the tears that have run silently down my temples and roll over toward the window. I switch our pillows so that I'm sleeping on his, the one that smells like his cologne and his body-wash. At least this way, I can feel him surrounding me.
I promised myself a life without regrets. And no matter what happens with Edward, I won't regret a moment of our time together. He's been the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I don't want to walk away. God knows I don't. But I will, if it saves his sanity and mine. We both deserve a life without such angst. I can't live like this, and I'm pretty sure he can't either.
I'll talk to him tomorrow. I'll see what he has to say. And then I'll make a decision. I'll do what's right for me…for him…for us.
Military Terms:
Pendleton- Camp Pendleton in California, which is located in San Diego County. Largest Marine Corps Base on the west coast.
Sixteen-thirty- Military talk for 4:30 p.m.
DEERS- Defense Enrollment Eligibiity Reporting System. If you are a servicemember, retiree, or dependent, DEERS registration is the key to getting your TRICARE (medical) benefits eligibility established. DEERS is a computerized database of military sponsors, families and others worldwide who are entitled under the law to TRICARE benefits.
A/N: *standing behind the Major and Team Cabana who are all decked-out in full riot gear*
Okay, that was hideous, and I hated it even more than you did. But it's a catalyst, folks. I hope and pray you'll continue to stay with the story. I will promise you that we're at the max body-count at this point. Nobody else will have to get buried. I love Spearward just as much as you do...I don't want to give the man a stroke by killing someone else, CACO duty or otherwise.
I'm a writing machine these days and have already started on chapter 20, so hopefully it'll be up within the normal two-week time frame. My profound apologies for the lack of review replies for the last update. I had to write this chapter as well as the Fandom4Oklahoma outtake. I can now announce that the outtake is titled, Ohana Forever. It will be from Riley's point of view regarding the loss of Nalani and how he and Kalia cope. I do hope you'll donate to this worthy cause.
Much love and thanks to Team Cabana. Thank you to all my lovely readers who take the time to leave me their thoughts in reviews and PMs. I appreciate every one of them as well as my alerters, favoriters, pimpers and lurkers. Hugs all around. Welcome to all my new readers this week! Come find me on Facebook and join The Cabanaboy's Playground for teasers and such. :)
*passes you a tissue*. Please trust in Yummy. HEA is my middle name.
xo, Jen