A/N: Originally, I hadn't planned to write this chapter, but a review by the ever-faithful ReadtoRelax on chapter 15 made me realise a) it makes sense to do so, and b) it might be necessary for the flow of the story after all. What came out is a set of three "Thirty missing seconds". So ReadtoRelax: Thank you for a good idea. This is for you. I hope it answers your questions and you'll enjoy it.

A word to the reader who reviewed the previous chapter as a Guest: I am sorry you decided to give up on this story, though I hope you read this. Don't ever think you don't make a difference as a reader. That said, I am especially sorry because I feel you completely misread the chapter in question. If anything, I made John the villain in the whole thing. Not a single disparaging word was said about Zoe, by anyone. – But thank you for reading so far, and for even leaving a review. I appreciate each and every one of them.

Warnings/Disclaimer: Spoilers for 2x08 "Til Death" (first scene) and 2x10 "Shadow Box" (second and third scene). There are a few direct quotes from the respective episodes, which I marked as such (in italics). They belong to the makers of the show. I own nothing except my OC and a few stray ideas in between.

Thirty Missing Seconds

Thirty missing seconds the first:

"How do two people go from being in love to wanting each other dead?"

John's sincere question caught Joss by surprise, if only just a little. She didn't have to think long, though, before answering: "Being in love is one thing. Being married – whole different animal. Those vows change everything."

"Which one? Til death do us part?" The former CIA operative tried for levity, but a part of him was honestly curious.

The woman beside him laughed "Yeah. Something like that. – One day you're married to your soul mate, then you watch them turn into someone else." The detective's gaze was firmly directed at the window they were watching, so she didn't notice how John's expression turned serious ... and sad. "Sometimes you're so in love with who a person was that you can't bring yourself to love who they've become," shefinished, taking a sip from her coffee.

"You ever think about moving on?" John couldn't even explain to himself why he asked that question ... or maybe he could. A not so faint memory niggled at the back of his mind, demanding answers.

"Like ... dating?" Joss scoffed. The man beside her looked at her with a shrug, and now her tone turned sarcastic. He didn't like it. "Sure. In my spare time, like when I'm not being a single mum or homicide detective ... or ... whatever this is."

A fond expression settled on John's face. So to Joss their little operation ranged right behind her family and her job. Somehow the thought made him feel warm inside.

"What about you?"

John looked surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Do you ever think about ... this kind of stuff?" Suddenly Joss felt distinctly awkward, being in such close quarters with a man she was immensely attracted to, even if she'd rather have all four wisdom teeth pulled before admitting that.

Hannah's angry words from a few weeks ago came back to John in a rush. He twisted in his seat to fully face the woman beside him and caught her eyes. "I'm not dating Zoe Morgan, if that's what you're asking. If anything, I'd ..."

Just then, Carter's phone rang and the moment was gone.

*POI*POI*POI*POI*POI*

Thirty missing seconds the second:

"Do you listen to all of my conversations?" The detective's tone was a mixture of shock and indignation.

"More or less. You're looking nicer, Carter. Maybe this Cal Beecher will be good for you, too."

Joss rolled her eyes. Of course John would bring that up. His next words, though, baffled her: "As long as he treats you right. He messes with you, he'll be hearing from me."

"Okay. All right. Look. We're gonna have to set some boundaries here," she hissed at him.

"Well, sure." John's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Things get heavy between you and Cal, we'll tune out right away."

Joss turned her head and closed her eyes. This was already a mess, and it hadn't even really started. There were a thousand things she wanted to reply, to explain, but here and now was neither the place nor the time. She briefly wondered if there ever would be a place and a time.

Shaking off all these thoughts, she sheepishly lifted her eyes back to John and changed the topic. He played along, a little too well for her liking. She could virtually see the walls around him slamming back up after he had lowered them little by little over the past year. It seemed like her – their – chance was gone.

*POI*POI*POI*POI*POI*

Thirty missing seconds the third:

"Thanks Harold. It was fun." John took out his earpiece and put his phone on the ground with the firm intention of smashing it. Then he heard the FBI moving away from him for a moment and hesitated. Picking his phone back up, he speed-dialled Hannah.

"Hello?" his sister's voice came over the line at the first ring.

"Hannie, I can't talk for long, so please just listen," he said hurriedly, pleadingly.

"John?" Hannah's voice was small. John remembered her sounding like that as a little girl when she was afraid.

"I'm in a bit of a jam here, and I don't know if and when I'll see you again." Never taking his eyes off his surroundings, constantly listening for the FBI squad moving around the basement, he felt his throat closing up dangerously. His voice grew husky. "So I just want you to know that I love you very much, baby girl."

"I love you too, John." He could hear her sister's tears, and it broke his heart to do this to her.

"One more thing," he added, the many missed chances of the past few weeks flashing through his mind. "I know Ben asked you to marry you and you turned him down. If I know anything about him, he'll ask you again. Please say yes, you hear me?"

"I will," Hannah replied with a stifled sob.

"Thank you. I love you. Good bye."

A/N 2: Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. If you like, drop me a line to let me know what you think. – The next chapter is half written, but I'm not sure if I can post next weekend; business is crazy right now and time to write (anything other than the translations I am being paid for) is in short supply. So stay tuned, I'll be back as soon as I can!