Sakura didn't sleep the night before she left for the mission. Instead, she paced, obsessed, planned ahead, and made contingency upon contingency. Sakura was scared for the first time in a long time, for the first time since she laid the last of the Rookie Nine to rest, for the first time since Danzo took office and Sakura realized the only thing she could feel was tired.

Sakura was tired, before, pissed off on the good days. It was difficult to feel anything. But now, here?

Sakura, younger Sakura, hadn't appreciated being weak when she was young. Who would? But being weak meant your enemies didn't care, didn't try, didn't notice. Sakura was able to kill Sasori of the Red Sands because he thought she was weak and she hadn't stopped there.

The only problem was, being weak only worked when Sakura knew what made her enemies strong. And now she didn't, not really. She knew war-torn versions of her comrades, whose skills were sharp and whose bodies were broken. She didn't know how to fight them anymore.

And she wanted to, a little bit. Because here was a perfect world, a better world, a world where her teammates were happy and Konoha was safe, and yet the old Sakura had still suffered. Still died. Even in a fucking utopia, she couldn't find happiness.

So yeah, Sakura was angry about what happened to her, whether the old her had committed suicide or whether she had been murdered. Either way, why hadn't anyone cared?

(But in her mind Sakura wondered if maybe it had been her fault. See, old Sakura had been the first to die here out of anyone, and this Sakura had been the last. Maybe she had dammed the other Sakura by daring to live when the others couldn't. Maybe if she hadn't agreed to fight under Danzo this Sakura could have been happy. But she would never know for sure and she couldn't ask anyone around her).

Sakura was old, older than she should be, and bitter. She would never be normal or fit into this Konoha. But if she knew one thing would remain constant in any world, at any time, it's that Tsunade cared. Cared about Sakura and cared about Konoha. So she would find her teacher, befriend her again, maybe challenge her to a drinking game or two, and save Konoha all in one mission.

Then she could be done. Sakura was still so tired.

Sakura didn't want to admit it, but she has had worse things happen to her. It just didn't feel like it, standing next to the gates of Konoha, Kakashi a silent presence on one side and Naruto on the other.

No, this definitely felt worse than getting stabbed, burned, poisoned, and torn apart. Just seeing them without them knowing anything about her past hurt more than sewing herself back together had felt (and that had really hurt).

And, to top it all of, Kakashi had shown up earlier than Sasuke. This universe was a goddamn mess.

"Hey, hey, Sakura-chan! It's been too long, huh? Years, right? I didn't even know you were still a kunoichi, ya know," Naruto said, hands flying everywhere and grin fixed firmly in place. But for all he was acting friendly, Sakura had the sense they hadn't been close friends in this world for years. Maybe they'd never been close, which really was just great.

"Once a shinobi, always a shinobi. Even if it has been a while." Sakura didn't look for his reaction, already predicting the embarrassment he would show, but instead subtly looked at her old teacher. This Kakashi was about as expressive (not at all) but she could sense he was paying attention.

Sakura was confident in her ability to fool her old teammates, but Kakashi was smart. He would eventually be able to tell she was different, and that was dangerous.

Was that why he showed up early - to test her? To protect Team 7 from an unknown quantity? He didn't seem suspicious, still holding that little yellow book of his.

If it came down to it, he would attack first with the kunai on his thigh, aimed for the throat. By the time she blocked it, he would have already moved, leaving a clone in his place. It's possible he would go underground, even likely given that this Sakura had never shown any particular amount of strength. Would he reach up directly or go behind her and attack with a jutsu? Regardless, destabilizing the ground would be her first priority to get him off-center. She could attack him directly, letting his attacks hurt her and then heal them off, and that would give her a good opportunity to get close and go at him with a chakra scalpel. But she would be in trouble if he used his Sharingan. She could pull out her exploding tags at that point, but she had so few, and she was hopi-

"Maa, Sakura, do I have something on my face?" Kakashi asked lightly. Shit, she had been staring at him.

"Only your mask. I was just wondering why you got here so early."

"Ah, yeah, about that…"

"I dragged him out of bed, Sakura-chan! Now if only that bastard wasn't late," Naruto trailed off, scuffing the ground with his shoe. So Kakashi told Naruto where he lived in this world? Back home, he had only told her after they were the only two members of Team 7 left, when he felt she would be in too much danger sleeping in a house alone.

But it didn't matter how much he tried to protect her. He died first and she died in the forest. She missed him. She wanted to tell her Kakashi that he had been right, that she had been attacked in her house, even if it really wasn't. She wanted to tell him that she missed him, that she forgave him for being a shitty teacher even if he didn't forgive himself, that in the end they really had worked well together.

She wanted to tell Kakashi so many things, and he was standing right in front of her and worlds away. A world and six feet of dirt, really.

Sasuke finally showed up five minutes later, Itachi and Shisui by his side. Sakura couldn't understand why this world's Sasuke wasn't as happy as Naruto: his family was alive, his brother was by his side, and he was well-respected in the village. Maybe he was like her, in a way, someone who needed war to live.

It was a sobering thought, mostly cause she fucking hated him, but she wasn't blind to the similarities.

Itachi and Shisui were two steps behind Sasuke, carrying his bags and gently reminding him of survival tips and whatnot. It was weird, seeing him babied after she had looked up to him for most of her life because he was so strong. If not an Avenger, what was he?

He looked at the rest of Team 7 that was already assembled. His skipped over her, nodded at Kakashi, and smirked at Naruto. The usual, then. She was glad the dysfunction remained true in both worlds or she really would have difficulty adjusting.

"Sakura-chan," Shisui greeted, "You look practically radiant this morning!"

She did not. Her hair was short again, cut last night by a civilian hairdresser who had lamented over her "looking like a man" the entire time. She was wearing black with one red ribbon as a final callback to her old outfit. Her gloves were chakra-conducting and had cost all of the savings in her account. She looked like she was going to war.

"Uchiha-san, you're much too kind. In fact, you're looking prettier than I do!" She smiled sweetly and then smiled again for real at Suishi's choked laughter. Yeah, she was glad she got to meet him in this world. He was cute when he laughed but he also got shit done.

And, for some reason she still wasn't quite sure of, he seemed to think she was strong. No one else in this world thought that. It was sweet, if not a bit disconcerting. She couldn't think of a reason why except they had a shared history she had no memory of. It was disconcerting but he seemed content to let it lye.

"Sakura-chan, please, please call me by my name before you depart on your epic and awe-inspiring journey! What if Tsunade-san kidnaps you and you're never seen again? What if you save Suna from a giant monster and they name you the newest Kazekage? What if-"

Sakura couldn't help it when she burst into loud peals of laughter. It echoed through the morning streets, more noise than she had made in years, and she was helpless. Goddamn, she missed being happy. Her laughter bordered in hysterical with the way it went on and on and on, but she had just really missed knowing someone friendly. Not even a friend, just friendly.

No one had joked in her Konoha. Not the civilians, not the councilmen, and not the shinobi. She had read somewhere that the first casualty of war was fun. And like every other casualty, it stayed dead.

God, that was sad.

Regardless, Shisui looked enchanted from where he lay on the packed ground, on his knees and fake pleading with her. In fact, he looked like he had never seen her laugh before. So this Sakura was also sad. Important to remember.

She helped him up, still giggling, lifting his entire body with one hand. She was too happy to remember to hide. "Now, Uchiha-san, I must be really nervous about this mission if I found your joke that funny."

"Do you want backup? I'll protect you!" He waggled his eyebrows at her but something seemed off. The gleam in his eyes told her that he had noticed her strength, at the way she wasn't truly nervous at all for her "first" mission. He wanted to come, she could see, if only to find out what was wrong with her. But still, she couldn't detect ill-intent, no suspicion.

Itachi, on the other hand, was lighting up like a goddamned fireworks show with doubt. The way he looked at her, the fact that he was looking at her at all, was enough proof to show what he thought of her.

Like always, Sasuke had immediately been absorbed in Naruto's infectious energy, so those two were out for the count, but Kakashi was a silent presence behind her. She had never once thought that her sensei behind her could be a threat instead of a blessing, but things changed. Sakura changed.

So, three shinobi watching her, one suspicious, one friendly, and one Kakashi (unidentifiable at the best of times). How to defuse? Well, if all else fails, fall back on what you know. Because even before Sakura was a shinobi, a warrior, a killer, she was a fangirl.

"Oh, Sensei, please! Could we bring Shusui? He's so cute, so much cuter than Naruto!" She wrinkled her nose in fake disgust and pulled Shisui into a hug, turning away from Itachi at the same time to face Kakashi. The lovestruck expression was easier to make than ever, making Sakura think that this version of her was A. actually in love or B. also a giant fucking liar.

Naruto squeaked in protest in the background as Saskue shot her a disdainful look but Kakashi merely snorted in amusement. Good, or bad? Shusui seemed content enough to go with the illusion, also adopting a pleading expression, but the way he gripped her back made her think he wasn't believing this either.

Kakashi stepped away from the pillar he had been leaning against and came closer, close enough to see the facial expressions behind his dammed mask. He studied her, eyes crinkled in faked amusement, before making a put-upon sigh and patting her on the head.

"Unfortunately, your sensei is getting too old to adopt any more children, even one as cute as Shisui, You'll just have to settle for us, Sakura-chan."

Bastard. He could tell Shisui could turn into her ally and was thereby removing him from the situation entirely. Now she knew he suspected her, however, and she could make her plans accordingly.

Besides, Sakura had learned that she had always worked better alone regardless. She had learned to live without a team and grown stronger for it, and she had faced worst odds than an Uchiha, the Kyuubi container, and Kakashi of the Sharingan.

Well, maybe not. But she would learn to.

Sasuke, apparently fed up with a circus act that didn't revolve around him, picked Shisui up to separate him and Sakura and then threw his cousin at Itachi. "Leave us alone and stop encouraging her stupid behavior. Let's just get this joke mission over with."

Shisui picked himself up and started complaining to Sasuke but Sakura still felt Itachi's and Kakashi's eyes on her. The same question arose in her mind - should she tell someone? Could she? On one hand, less chance she would be treated as an enemy all the time, but there was also a chance that she would be thrown into the bowels on T.I., never to be seen again. Or someone higher up would hear about it, the same someone who arranged her murder, and would try again. And Sakura for all her strength was not infallible, especially with this undertrained body.

No, she had to keep quiet and explain herself in a different way. She just didn't know how. What could adequately explain the sudden and all-consuming change she went through except for what actually happened?

Fuck. Long ago Sakura had been a paper ninja, able to plan and plot well enough to get herself to the top of the class. She could still do that, given time and privacy, but she had a feeling Kakashi would be keeping both of he eyes on her in the near future. It's what she would do when faced with an unknown quantity.

So she didn't have a convincing lie, not yet. She would think of one, probably, hopefully. Maybe if Kakashi left her alone long enough for her to think. She didn't think he would.

"Are we gonna go yet? I want to find Tsunade already!" Naruto yelled in the background. It broke the tension that had surrounded the group and soon enough it seemed like they were going to go. Before they passed through the gates, however, Sakura felt her pocket grow heavier, almost as if someone too fast to see had slipped her a letter.

Sakura had decided covering up her ability wasn't worth the lost time, so despite the fact that it gave her chakra control away, she kept pace with her three teammates. She could tell that everyone, even Naruto noticed, but she just gave a grin and said she had done some practice in preparation for the journey.

Camp that night was silent, broken up by Naruto and Sasuke fighting over who caught the most food or who made the best tent. She ignored it and crawled in her tent early, confident in the fact that she would be left alone until her turn for watch.

In the privacy of her tent she was confident enough the open the letter. She tested it with her chakra first, waving her hand over it and waiting for a spark, but it wasn't trapped. She settled in her bedroll and opened it, still slightly bracing for an acid spray. Nothing.

Well, not nothing.

"Dear Sakura,

Or maybe not Sakura. Dear whatever is hiding in Sakura's skin,

We need to talk. Find the crow.

Shisui."

What the hell? Find the crow? She remembered, faintly, that the Uchiha family had crow and cat summons. That meant Shisui was probably following her on this mission. And he knew, something, maybe all of it. They really did have to talk then, but how to do it without Kakashi hearing? And could she trust Shisui?

She knew enough about his past, his devotion to his family and his village. If he was so protective, there must be a reason he was letting her live, letting her near his cousin. She really had to find the crow.

Her tent jostled and Kakashi came through the front flap. In a second he took in her sleeping bag, her weapons laid out neatly waiting to be counted and cleaned, her armor, her scrolls, and the silencing seals drawn on the tent. He probably expected flowers or fairy lights or something.

"Ah, Sakura-chan, I hope this isn't too inappropriate," he grinned.

"Of course not, sensei, it's been too long since we talked!"

"You're right. In fact, I can't even remember how long." His hand drifted to his headband covering his Sharingan, So, they were doing this now, here. Private enough without her teammates, but if a fight broke out they would be immediately involved.

Then out of his jacket he pulled out a crow. "Mind explaining this, Sakura-chan? Getting midnight visitors on a mission is pretty naughty. I expected better from my adorable kouhai."

The crow pecked at Kakashi's hand before jumping out and landing next to Sakura. It squawked disapprovingly but was forced to jump when Kakashi threw a kunai at it. Sakura blocked it with a kunai of her own, hating that fact that the tent really only allowed her enough room to move on her knees.

Next, a senbon was thrown, then a knife, then three kunai at once. Sakura did her best to block all of them, but the small space meant that the last kunai thrown would either hit the crow or they would hit her. It wasn't really a decision.

They lodged themselves in her upper right arm, not poisoned and sharped enough that she could barely feel it. Kakashi reared back, almost as if he hadn't expected her to move in the way, and with a rush of wind, the crow transformed into a very angry Shisui. The tent was getting pretty fucking crowded.

"What the hell, Kakashi?" Shisui shouted, trying to launch his own senbon. Sakura, who was quite tired of being in the middle of a firefight in a tent the size of a small broom closet, decided to also take those to her other arm. Also not poisoned, thankfully.

"Can we stop?" She shouted. With her right arm she dug out the senbon, healing as she went, and then with her left, she dug out the kunai, She rotated her arms to get rid of the stiffness but it was mostly her shirt that was left worse for wear. She didn't put on armor to go to sleep and that was probably a failing on her part.

Shisui and Kakashi both managed to look contrite and suspicious at the same time, probably because a ninja was always suspicious in some way, shape, or form, and once again Sakura was left with the question of what the fuck she was going to do. Shisui most definitely knew her old self, however, their relationship was unknown, and Kakashi knew something, even if he didn't know what it meant, However, both were looking at her like she was a mix between an ally and an enemy. Like how her teammates in ROOT and ANBU looked at her. Like Naruto looked at her after she had finished burying the last of the Uchiha line. She didn't like the look all that much.

The look disappeared quickly and was replaced by a frantic search for bandages that Sakura endured for all of five seconds before she chopped the two of them in the heads.

"They're healed, okay, now can we discuss why my tent has turned into a fucking war zone?"

"Now I know you're not Sakura," Shisui replied, palming some more senbon. She rolled her eyes but knew that she was at the moment caught between two of the deadliest shinobi in Konoha with backup for them right outside her door. Fighting wouldn't be an option and she would never be faster than Shisui. So, talking it was. And considering both men had a Sharingan that could detect all her tells, it seemed like she would have to tell the truth.

"Okay, I'm going to explain the situation and you two need to behave like good little shinobi and listen. We all know right now that I'm at your mercy in this situation, so let me explain before you start launching more senbon."

Kakashi snorted but minutely relaxed against one of the tent poles. Shisui awkwardly crawled out from behind her to sit next to him, granting her a little ease without an enemy at her back. She could tell they were both primed for a fight but their experience as ANBU agents meant they valued information over action, thankfully.

"I'll start with this. Three weeks ago, I was an elite ANBU agent, trained by ROOT, working for the Hokage himself. Two weeks ago I was killed in action and found myself waking up in an unfamiliar bathroom with unfamiliar wounds." She pulled up her sleeves to show the scars on her wrist she still had yet to heal. She left them as a reminder - she couldn't forget the Sakura who came before her.

"I healed them and noticed both a monitor tag on my ankle and a dead man at my door - Kabuto."

Both Kakashi and Shisui raised their eyebrows at Sakura for calling Kabuto a dead man but didn't react beyond that. They were trained well for not laughing hysterically at her story.

"I found myself in a Konoha I don't recognize, confronted with past actions I have no memory of. I found myself an ex-shinobi, a failed medic-nin, and with slit wrists. I concluded that-"

She hesitated. What she was about to say sounded crazy and she honestly didn't know how to get it out. She could barely put it together in her own head, how was she supposed to explain it to strangers?

Shisui touched her wrists then, almost a guilty look on his face. She let him study the scars and decided to forge on.

"I concluded that I am not in my Konoha, just another Konoha, with another Sakura who died at the same time I did, albeit in different circumstances. Except when I came here I could do what your Sakura couldn't - heal my wounds. I somehow ended up in a different world, a different timeline, with all the same players but a very different history, a different Hokage, a different everything.

"I want to find Tsunade because as far as I can tell the circumstances around the old Sakura's death are beyond suspicious: the monitoring tag, Kabuto arriving directly afterward, the fact that she committed after trying to apply for a hospital job-"

"Then what do you think happened?" Kakashi asked, knuckles tight around his book. She couldn't tell if he believed her or if he was humoring her but either way he sounded interested enough.

"I think Sakura found something going on in the hospital, something wrong having to do with Kabuto, and she was murdered and made to kill herself. Maybe the scene was staged or maybe a Yamanaka got into her head. Either way, she wasn't meant to survive."

Shisui made a stained sound and seemingly collapsed on the floor then, still holding on to her wrists.

"It's true," he said, causing Kakashi and Sakura to turn to him in surprise. "I was the one who sent you into the hospital."

The tent was silent, a loud silence, for a minute before Kakashi pinned Shisui to the floor, kunai to the eye. "If what everyone has said so far is true, does that mean you got a civilian killed doing your dirty work, Shisui?"

For a second, the tense scene around her faded away, until nothing was in her head but the echo of "civilian."

Civilian. Nobody. No relation or history. Kakashi, her failed sensei, her stalwart partner, her last ally, called her a civilian. And Sakura knew, of course, that this Kakashi wasn't hers, didn't belong to her, didn't know her, but it ripped through her heart like a fist regardless.

In this world, she truly had been nothing. And maybe that was kinder, in a sense. Sakura was strong, stronger than everyone else it seemed, and it meant that she was the one forced to survive them all. Forced to remember. Even now, she wasn't dead.

She was too good at introspection these days.

With a pinch to the ribs, she brought herself back and shoved Kakashi's weapon away. Shisui was still lying prone on the floor but the blood from the cuts she received to her hands dripped on his face and made him flinch. She didn't bother healing them before turning to Shisui and telling him with a glare to explain.

"What I'm about to tell you is top secret-"

"I'm loyal to Konoha!" Kakashi practically snarled, bloody kunai in hand.

"Are you loyal to whoever killed Sakura? Our Sakura?" Shisui pressed. "I'm loyal to my village, to my Hokage, but something is rotten in the hospital. I only know because the police force continues to get reports of missing children, orphans and urchins, from the surrounding provinces. Some genin, even."

He sat up then, rubbing his eyes with tired hands and smearing the blood on his cheeks. He saw the stain on his palms and flinched. "There's been suspicion for some time about how Orochimaru runs the hospital, about the councilman in charge, Danzo, and I wanted to see if I could get a way inside."

"So you went to a civilian?" Kakashi's voice was biting, and Sakura could tell how emotional he was by the way he was turned to Shisui and away from her, a potential enemy.

"Sakura had medical experience and enough kunoichi training to lie. But, more than that-"

"She came to you, didn't she?" Sakura asked softly, mind awhirl. It made sense, in a way. Sakura would always want to best for Konoha, would always fight even without weapons.

"Yo- she did," Shisui said, "And she was pretty insistent about it. I don't know why she came to me though, why she chose me instead of Itachi or Sasuke. Maybe if she ha-"

"It's simple, really. Sakura knew Sasuke would never take her or her accusations seriously, and she also knew telling Itachi meant Sasuke would find out. However, she still needed to go to someone in the police force she knew wouldn't be involved, so you were the clear solution. Trusted by her old team and teacher but not to close to any of them. You were perfect for her."

Sakura waved her hands to demonstrate, appreciating the logic of the other Sakura. Shisui would have been the best choice and she could see why she trusted him. He was good and kind, a rare thing for a shinobi and an invaluable trait in a partner.

Waving her arms around meant her hand bled again and Kakashi tossed her a roll of bandages, still barely looking in her direction. She ignored them and healed herself again.

"So," Kakashi drawled dangerously, "You sent a civilian to spy upon one of the legendary Sannin, one who you're accusing of treason, without any backup?"

"She thought up the plan! She said if we had too much contact that the operation would be compromised!" Shisui shouted defensively.

"It was anyway."

Shisui once again turned away at Kakashi's comment. Sakura rotated her arm, looked at her wrist, and decided that this tent was getting a little stuffy.

"So she died. Let's find out why."

"And you're her but from another world?" Kakashi turned to her, the attention off Shisui.

"Basically, yes. I'm Sakura Haruno, born March twenty-eighth to Hizashi and Mebuki Haruno. Blood-type O, second in my genin class, known as the rookie nine, and part of Team 7. I was a paper ninja, first and foremost, best friends with Ino Yamanaka before we split over our mutual infatuation with Sasuke Uchiha. My teacher was Hatake Kakashi but he dismissed me and my lack of motivation in favor of training Sasuke to use his Sharingan and Naruto to control his massive amounts of chakra."

She shrugged her shoulders defeatedly. "In this world, I decided to become a medic-nin and was forced to become my own teacher, trainer, and victim. I was discovered and summarily dismissed from the genin corps. I have few friends around Konoha. I must have discovered something wrong in the hospital and went to Shisui about it, only to be killed for my efforts. That's what I know."

Kakashi made a complicated expression behind his mask and drummed his fingers on his book. "You could have discovered that by spying."

Sakura shook her head. "You were my teacher and Shisui was my partner. You can tell my chakra signature is slightly different but still the same at its core - you know I'm Sakura, just not the Sakura you knew."

"And you expect me to believe you were in ANBU?" he questioned, shifting to the side. She could tell he was in full interrogation mode now, and her answers now would either save her or put her in a torture cell. She did notice, however, that he didn't mention ROOT. She filed that away for later.

For now she nodded and traced on her upper arm the tattoo all ANBU agents recieved. "Codename was Rat." Kakashi raised his eyebrows. "I wasn't well-liked, I suppose."

"And how did a medic-nin end up in ANBU? Assuming you were a medic-nin."

"In my world, I was trained by Tsunade. I was more than just a medic-nin."

Shisui pounced up from his defeated sprawl on the floor to stare intently at her forehead. "Did you have the seal?"

She nodded and tapped at where it had been. "I did by fifteen after training for a few years."

Kakashi stared at her intently. "Fifteen? After only a few years of training?"

"I was a good student, and Tsunade an even greater teacher. She made me who I am."

"And that's why you want to find her," Shisui said, staring at her bloody hands, but Sakura shook her head.

"I want to find her because your Sakura died trying to fix whatever is happening in Konoha and I know Tsunade is the only person strong enough to finish what you two started. Especially if it's against a Sannin."

Shisui nodded and opened his mouth, probably to ask about her training or her seal, but was interrupted by Kakashi shoving him to the floor and stabbing three senbon into Sakura's heart.