WFA Intern's Guide to Survival PART 2
21) If you see Justin Danger selling condoms, don't be weirded out.
(I couldn't help it. He offered me condoms and I'm single!)
(He even suggested I have a one night stand with Nikki Gage)
(There's only one thing to say to that: "Nope")
22) Do not wear a New Shield shirt within the vicinity of Jack Classic
(Pretty self explanatory)
(The Fortress did it once just to tick him off)
(It was pretty funny)
23) Do not argue with Evan Neal.
(He'll beat your argument by annoying you)
(And at the end of the day, your stupid reactions to his words,)
(Are put on the Internet)
24) Do not ask Nyx Rosewood why the New Shield did what they did at SSW
(She already has an argument for that, so there's no point)
(Asking Furno Moxley, Raptor Reigns, or Ajax will lead to a free one way ticket to the hospital)
(Any further argument will result in a singing contest WHICH SHE HAS DESTROYED ME AT!)
25) If there is a stalker invading backstage, find the nearest lunatic and give him/her a barbed wire bat
(Call: Ryan Lewis, Traci Star, Furno Moxley, Brutus Vicious, Samuel, Dylan Torres)
26) If you're going to throw someone a party, just don't let any wrestlers know about it
(I threw my friend a good birthday party)
(Everything went well...until Genocide showed up)
(Didn't help the fact that my friend and I are Asians!)
27) Do not ask any of the wrestlers to be your fake girlfriend
(So...my friend and his girlfriend invited me to a double date, but I was still single)
(I decided to go find myself a fake girlfriend just to go with them)
(...In the end, I got ANGELO SANTOS IN DRAG)
28) Do not hold a wet t shirt contest between CJ Hawk, Detrick Cyrus, and Zach Grey
(We will not be able to contain the fangirl stampede)
(And it will be difficult to decide who wins)
29) If there are ANY DISNEY FILMS in the backstage premises, they are the SOLE PROPERTY of Traci Star
(I saw a Frozen DVD case lying on the ground)
(I watched it with a buddy of mine)
(Until I noticed someone holding a metal pipe behind us)
30) If you want to get a girl, DO NOT GET ADVICE FROM FREDDY ESCOBAR
(He'll teach you a little too much,)
(And belittle you)
(And he'll teach you how to break girl's heart, WHICH YOU DON'T NEED)
31) If you see any Trump Tower products, put them in front of Genocide's locker room immediately
(I didn't like the Gold Label burger anyway)
(Yet Genocide ate it like a Big Mac)
32) John Cena shirts are banned
(Freddy Escobar is ticked seeing one,)
(Ben Jones is ticked seeing one,)
(Even Furno Moxley is ticked!)
33) You can't ask Alan Albright to teach you ANYTHING
(He'll continue his conspiracy regarding aliens,)
(and probably STILL try to prove that Furno Moxley is the son of the Devil)
(Seriously, how do aliens and religion even mix?)
34) Zach Grey is NOT Franklin from GTA 5!
(He may take it as a compliment,)
(But, seriously just don't)
35) You can't ask Chris Wolf for a discount at his bar and grill
(I tried, didn't work)
(He threatened to make me pay extra whenever I go there if I keep asking)
(I only wanted shrimp tacos)
36) Do not start a fan war between Justin Danger's and Nyx Rosewood's YouTube channels
(Things WILL get messy)
(I was rooting for Nyx because those covers sounded so good!)
(Justin's channel makes me feel more like a flabby, skinny loser)
37) Make one of those "If Wrestlers were Comic Book characters" lists at your own risk
(Freddy Escobar is Lex Luthor)
(Ben Jones is Ghost Rider)
(King Caesar is Luke Cage)
(Will Ralston is Thor)
(Ash Russo is Anarky)
(Jason Stone is Firefly)
(CJ Hawk is Hawkman (lol))
(Furno Moxley is Punisher)
(Traci Star is Death)
(Evan Neal is Loki)
(etc)
38) If you're going to eat at Chris Wolf's bar and grill, do not complain
(It's rude as hell)
(And Chris will beat you up in the kitchen)
39) Remember rule 18? Rule now applies for ALL WRESTLERS
(This is for our female interns)
(Which basically means you can't live out your greatest Magic Mike fantasies using the male wrestlers)
(I mean, seriously, why?)
40) If you get a gift box from Evan Neal, THROW IT AWAY
(I got a cool shirt for my birthday.)
(What did Evan get me? A condom)
(THERE'S ANOTHER PERSON TO BLAME!)