A/N:

Okay guys... this chapter is kinda short, but I liked these two scenes together without anything else. I was listening to Fleurie's "Hope where have you gone" as I wrote this. Sort of a hauntingly beautiful song and I came across it by accident, but I loved it immediately.

Please leave me a review and let me know if this one punched you in the feels.

Have a wonderful day!

CitrineMama

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The whole world shifted beneath her feet and Riley dropped to her knees, instantly feeling nauseaous at Sam's words. Her chest was heaving as she fought for a breath and all Sam could do was look down at her. His own eyes stung with tears and he wiped a hand over his face before Riley exhaled. "What?" Was all she could manage.

The young woman in front of Sam was broken. Not in a physical sense, but his statement sent her emotional state hurtling towards past angry and hurt and straight towards devastation. Sam hadn't realized how close she and Dean had actually been until that very moment. She leaned forward to brace herself, the cold tile under her shaking hands. Her breath was coming in little pants and he recognized her panic all too well.

How many times had Riley and Dean shared a bedspace that he didn't even know about?

How many times did they stay up all night talking about anything and nothing?

How could Dean open up to this woman more than his own brother?

"Sam, tell me it's not true." She begged the man in front of her, sitting back a few seconds later, her hands gripping her own hair painfully. "Tell me you're lying!" The last word came out as a choked, painful wail and he winced at the sound.

"I'm so sorry, Riley." Was all Sam could manage, his arms coming around her. She shoved Sam back some from her at first, then gave in and let him hug her tight against him. They sat there on the cold bathroom floor, grieving together for a few moments, the atmosphere in the bathroom changing from an angry denial to one of melancholy and utter grief.

"I wanna see him." He nodded and pulled her up on her feet. Sam hugged Riley again, feeling her go lax against him as she sobbed a couple times. Sam squeezed her tighter and felt her nod against him before pushing back from his hold lightly. Hazel met brown for a moment before his large hand engulfed hers and he led Riley down the hall to Dean's bedroom.

She started to cry again when she saw Dean laying there on his bed where Sam had placed him. His hands were resting on his stomach and she stared at his chest, silently willing it to rise and fall with his breathing.

But that never came.

"C'mon Ry." Sam pulled her away from Dean's doorway and she sobbed into his chest, his strong arms coming around her shoulders again in the bunker hallway. "I am so sorry."

"He's your brother, Sam." Riley cried, her voice hoarse with emotion. "This can't be real..."

"I wish it wasn't." His voice broke then and and tears fell freely from his eyes for the first time since he'd left the factory, driven his brother home, carried his corpse into the bunker and placed his dead body on his bed. They held each other for a long time outside Dean's bedroom until Sam eventually pulled back, wiping his tearstained face. "I gotta shower..." Riley nodded, a lost expression on her features.

Numb.

Numb was all she could feel.

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His hands worked to wash off the dirt and the blood off his hands and body. Sam reached out to turn the water a little hotter. His thoughts came to a stand still as he leaned forward, resting his forearms against the cold shower tiles, letting the water rain down on his sore back muscles. Sam's eyes closed as he rested his forehead against his wrists, trying to gain some semblence of composure as he inhaled deeply, the steam making his chest feel even heavier.

Or maybe his heart.

Sam shut the hot water off a couple minutes later and pulled back the shower curtain before stepping out, wrapping a towel around his waist. It was still damp from Dean's shower earlier that morning and that made his eyes close briefly. His brother was alive that morning and had showered before the hunt and now, he was gone. Sam shoved those thoughts from his mind as he opened the bathroom door.

"Riley?" He stepped out into the hallway, a towel around his waist as he went to his room, his eyes already stinging with fresh tears. Was that truly the last time he'd be washing his brother's blood off him? Forcing that thought from his mind, he pulled on some clean lounge pants and a white tshirt and went looking for Riley.

She wasn't in her bedroom and he suddenly heard her crying softly. Where in the hell was she, Sam wondered worriedly. The next thought slammed into his mind like a freight train, halting his steps.

Was she in Dean's room?

Sam jogged down the hallway and froze in his brother's doorway, his hands bracing his weight on the doorframe; the brunette had gone back to Dean's room while he'd showered. He was completely caught off guard at the macabre sight that lay before him.

To Sam's horror, Riley was in bed with Dean's body, tucked neatly against his left side, her head on his shoulder and her left hand gripping his flannel shirt. "Dean, you can't leave..." She sobbed softly, not even noticing the distraught man watching her from the doorway. "Please..." His flannel shirt was starchy under her fingers, his blood dried on it now. Her fingers were careful not to brush the tear in his tshirt or the gaping wound in his chest underneath.

Sam swallowed the giant lump in his throat and stepped inside Dean's bedroom, mentally preparing himself to get Riley away from his brother's lifeless body. "Ry..." His hands tugged her shoulders away from Dean gently and she whimpered, pulling away from Sam's grasp, not wanting to move from Dean's side. "C'mon, honey, you can't do this to yourself..." His warm hand closed around her forearm and tugged gently.

She yanked away from Sam angrily, still clinging onto Dean's shirt, still pressed against his side. He was getting cold and she suddenly craved his warmth, knowing she'd never feel it again. "Dean." Riley wailed, burying her face into his shoulder, gripping him tight as though he was her lifeline.

Because he was.

He had saved her life more than once and in more than one way and she hadn't been able to return the favor.

How could she ever forgive herself for that?

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