A/N:
The last chapter was a short one, so I'm posting this one a few days earlier. Enjoy!
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Riley was laying in her bed the next morning, only getting up once to go to the bathroom. She hadn't slept a single wink. Her eyes were burning and her lungs were tight, like she'd been swimming endlessly, holding her breath underwater, fighting to breach the surface and take in a breath.
Sam had locked Dean's door after he'd pulled her from the bedroom so she couldn't get back in there while he anxiously did research in the war room overnight. She was stuck in her own emotional turmoil, unable to comfort Sam as he'd tried to do the same for her. She'd just pushed Sam away and closed in on herself, locking her bedroom door. Riley rolled over and glared at the bottom drawer in her nightstand; inside were the items she'd secretly been acquiring to complete the transfer spell she'd researched for the last five weeks. Too little, too late, she thought bitterly.
Riley had lied to Sam last month about the contents of the letter her father had left with Margie Frank. Her baptism was traditional in every sense when she was twelve months old. The man in the pews that her father had referenced in the letter, though, was someone special in town from overseas. A very high ranking religious man.
One who was called a most holy man.
Elkins had arranged for her protection. It was after the baptism and he'd taken his daughter in a back room with the man and pastor Frank. The people in attendance drifted out of the sactuary after the church service and enjoyed coffee and cookies in the basement of the church. To protect his daughter from demonic posession in the only way Elkins could without her mother knowing, was to let the man give her some of his blood, making her blood immune to evil.
For always.
Her father already knew at that point in her young life that he'd have to leave his family and he tried to protect them any way he could. It wasn't exactly the most conventional way to protect someone he loved, but how on earth could Elkins have explained to his wife that he'd taken their infant daughter to a tattoo parlor? Or found some schmuck to do said tattoo?
Riley wiped her tears and sighed, looking up at her ceiling. The guilt she felt was a heavy weight on her chest; Dean had been at her side with her relapse when she'd stumbled and fallen five months ago, giving in to her old habits. He'd been there for her at night, when her anxieties were the worst, when the bunker was quiet and her thoughts were so loud.
Dean had opened his arms and his bed anytime she'd appeared in his doorway late at night. He'd been a man of his word, just like always, when he'd told her to come to him. Dean never judged her and she sought solace and comfort, both of which he openly gave without expecting anything back from her.
Please, she prayed silently. Please give me the chance to save Dean.
Castiel's sudden presence made her eyes sting with fresh tears. "Riley." She had moved to the cold bunker floor, her back against the end of her bed. She looked up at him and his brow wrinkled, sensing her grief. "I am so sorry."
"Castiel, is it true?"
The forlorn look on the angel's face made Riley's shoulders slump. "Is what true?"
"Dean... will become a knight of hell?" Give in to all the ugliness he'd fought his whole life to squash? She didn't say. "Cas?" His eyes closed when she called him by the nickname Dean always used.
"That is what the lore states." That made her nod. Castiel sat next to her on the floor, her tumultous emotional state making him sigh. "I am sorry." Riley leaned into him and he put an arm around her shoulders, something he'd seen Dean do with her on many occasions.
"You said I'm special."
"I did."
"Why is that?"
"You are warded against demonic posession."
"Does Sam know?"
"No."
"Castiel, is there any way we can..." She trailed off, feeling that overwhelming sadness crash into her like a six foot swell. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she fought for a breath. He hugged her closer, her anguish and guilt bleeding over onto him. "I can't..."
"I know." They were sitting there in Riley's room on the floor at the end of her bed when Sam came by to check on her. Castiel looked up and the younger Winchester was standing there, holding a plate with a sandwich on it. "Sam."
"Ry, you have to eat something."
"I'm not eating anything. I'm not hungry." The brunette spoke softly, her eyes downcast. Sam sighed and Castiel stared at him for a few seconds before touching her forehead. She slumped to the floor and Sam set the plate on her dresser before squatting to scoop her up and lay her on her bed.
"Thanks Cas." Sam breathed, tugging the blanket over her. "We need to talk about Dean..."
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"Dean?"
"Yeah, sweetheart?"
Riley shifted in the bed next to him, her hand sliding into the crook of his arm, her cheek resting comfortably against the soft tshirt stretched across his bicep. "Did you ever think that your life would turn out this way?"
Beside her, Dean sighed. "Yeah... dad was obsessed with the thing that killed mom and Sammy and I were dragged into this life. But honestly, I couldn't imagine anything else." He felt her sigh against his arm before pressing a kiss there absently.
"No?"
"It seemed like for every case we took care of, three more popped up. If I got out, who in the hell would save all these people?" Dean's tone held some distress. "Y'know?"
"Do you think you can save everyone, Dean?"
"I'd sure as hell like to try."
His reply made Riley smile sadly in the darkness of her bedroom. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For saving me."
Dean exhaled through his nose. "You don't have to thank me for that."
"I'm broken, Dean." Riley sniffled and she felt him lean in to press a kiss to the crown of her head. "Thank you for seeing more to me than... what I've done." Dean considered her words carefully.
"Right back at ya, Ry." He shifted to lay on his side and she closed her eyes when she felt Dean's strong arm around her, pulling her against him and hugging her close. "I've done a crap ton of good, but I've done some things... I'm not real proud of..." Riley nuzzled into his chest, her fingers clutching his tshirt.
"I don't care."
"Neither do I." He paused. "We're all broken somehow Ry, how else would all the light get in?" Dean could almost hear her smile.
"You've read Hemmingway?"
"I may have."
Riley reached up to gently cup his stubbled cheek in the darkness. "I won't forget you're suffering, even when you're brave, Dean Winchester." He turned his face a bit and kissed her palm, making her giggle softly.
"Touche, Riley." He laid there next to the brunette, looking at her in a way no one else ever had.
They were quiet for a moment. "Dean?"
"Yeah?"
"You are so beautiful."
Even in the darkness, she could see him blush. "What?"
"You have a beautiful soul, Dean." Riley paused to yawn. "Yeah, you're physically attractive, but you have this amazing energy inside you."
"Thanks, Ry." He wasn't sure anyone had ever said anything like that to him.
"G'night, Dean." Riley relaxed into him contentedly; in his arms, she found safety and Dean felt like home. Something she hadn't felt in a very long time.
"Night, sweetheart." He whispered back.
Dean's lips were pressed against her forehead and Riley's eyes closed, engulfed in the feeling of warmth he gave her. She snuggled closer and sighed contentedly before his touch faded gradually and her eyes fluttered open to see where he'd gone. He wasn't laying next to her and she sat up so fast, the room spun. "Dean?"
Sam was in the kitchen when he heard Riley's sleepy voice call out to his brother, sounding so lost. "Ry?" Sam called back, abandoning his mug of coffee and heading for her room. His walk turned into a jog when he heard her scream tear through the bunker like ice water through his veins.
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Hello readers!
So I loved that new episode! I won't spoil anything for those of you who haven't watched it yet, but just know that Dean in that shirt freaking slays my ass. Every. Damn. Time.
Let me know what you thought of this chapter. What did you guys think about Riley's baptism? Does it kill you to know Dean continues to haunt Riley's dreams, even after he's gone? :( Reviews are love!
CitrineMama