WFA Intern's Survival Guide PART 5
81) Be careful who you ask to tutor a kid
(I actually followed this rule when my friend's kid needed help with this quiz on Greek mythology)
(Nyx Rosewood was a very efficient tutor regarding that subject)
(Why else is she named after a Greek goddess?!)
82) Don't ask any of the wrestlers to drive a kid to school
(Freddy doesn't like annoying kids in the Monarchy limo)
(All the other wrestlers don't have time)
83) Yes, Brandon Duke claims he's the "King of the Suplex". No, you're not allowed to have him challenge Brock Lesnar
(Who in their right mind would do that?!)
(Also, you're not allowed to host it)
(Or place bets)
84) Don't call Furno Moxley or Samuel "Mama's boys"
(Samuel was furious)
(Furno ABSOLUTELY HATES anyone who brings up his mom)
(I'm starting to believe Jason Voorhees is his dad)
85) Handle every single thing Freddy Escobar owns with care
(Yes, that includes his wallet)
(And his tie)
(And his shoelaces)
(And the dirt on his boots)
86) Be careful who you Netflix with
(I Netflixed with Amber Arcade)
(We watched Stranger Things)
(Better than the time Alan Albright made me watch Jessica Jones!)
87) Do not suggest in ring weddings
(Unless you want Triple H or...mother of God...Roman Reigns to crash them.)
(It will be crashed at anyone's own enjoyment)
(I swear, even the New Shield has an attack strategy when in ring weddings are happening)
88) Play Kinect games at your own risk
(I got embarrassed, playing Jillian Michaels' Workout Adventure in front of everyone)
(A dance contest between Freddy Escobar and Edward Mercury followed)
(Holy s*** they're actually really good dancers)
(Haven't played my Kinect since)
89) Don't randomly play any random music whenever someone walks into the room
(For example, no Game of Thrones music whenever Monarchy walks in)
(No Twilight music whenever Ben Jones walks in)
(No Suicide Squad music whenever the New Shield walks in)
(No random video game music whenever Amber Arcade walks in)
(etc)
90) Don't call CJ Hawk "Sensei" even if he takes it as a compliment
(The Way of the Hawk is NOT a martial art!)
(It's a franchise!)
(Period)
91) Don't give any of the wrestlers nicknames
(Freddy Escobar's is Latino Joffrey)
(Ben Jones's is Young Taker)
(Furno Moxley's is Mini Ambrose)
(Brianna Kelly's is Danger Baby Mama (BAD IDEA))
92) Same rule applies for factions
(Monarchy's is "King Joffrey and the Kingsguard")
(Anarchy's is "Heroic Purgers")
(Shadow Coven's is "Cullen Family")
(New Shield's is "Red Hood and the Outlaws")
(Wayne Bros' is "Tom and Jerry")
(The Beautiful Reality's is "Iconic Duo wannabes")
93) Challenging any WWE Superstars to take on any WFA wrestlers is a big no-no
(Which means...no CJ Hawk vs John Cena)
(No Freddy Escobar vs Miz, no matter how much Freddy Escobar demands it)
(No Brutus Vicious vs Braun Strowman)
(No Anarchy vs Shield and Sasha Banks, no matter how much Dean Ambrose demands it)
(No Matt Lopez vs Baron Corbin, no matter how much Baron Corbin demands it)
(No Traci Star vs Nikki Cross)
(Unless you want another #Undersiege virus)
94) Do not argue with any of your bosses
(That includes Trell, Alan Riddle,)
(Jack Classic, Anthony Dre, Richard Ryder,
(And OBVIOUSLY...EVAN NEAL)
(Unless you want to suffer)
95) Don't point out the obvious like...
("Why do you look like Elena Gilbert?" -Me to Nyx Rosewood while she was watching Vampire Diaries)
("Does your nickname translate from Mexican to English to Katniss's nickname?" -Me to Natalia Rodriguez while she was watching Hunger Games)
("Why do you have Undertaker gear?" -Me to Ben Jones while he was watching old Undertaker videos)
96) Because Pervert Intern is back from the hospital, he must not be seen by any wrestlers at all times
(DJ Kingston, Ben Jones, Furno Moxley, and Brutus Vicious STILL want to murder him)
(So do Natalia Rodriguez, Sara Lewis, Nyx Rosewood, and Traci Star)
(So do King Caesar, Carson Michaels, Raptor Reigns, and Ryan Lewis)
97) Do not make any suggestions to wrestlers to change their themes unless they want to
(I really wanted Brutus Vicious to use Friday the 13th music)
(He didn't like it)
(I suggested Will Ralston to use Braveheart music)
(Also didn't like it)
98) It is not advisable to use Freddy Escobar's sceptre to unclog the toilets
(We're looking at you, Pervert Intern)
(I made it up to the Prince by washing his sceptre for him)
99) STOP PEEKING IN THE WOMEN'S SHOWERS!
(AGAIN, Pervert Intern)
(I never knew Traci Star and Logan Storm could scream so loudly)
(Evan hired the New Shield to guard the women's showers for the rest of the month)
100) The creation of a list of things Pervert Intern is not allowed to do is HIGHLY IMPERATIVE
(I've had lots of demands from the WFA wrestlers regarding this)
(Might as well...)