More skits, baybay!
1) NO WEARING OF NEW SHIELD SHIRTS IN FRONT OF JACK CLASSIC (Rule 22)
"Hmm. I like this shirt!" RIG said to himself. He was wearing one of the New Shield's merch shirts. It was all black, with a silver shield in the middle with a white Punisher skull emblazoned on it. Below that was a logo of a three headed white wolf with silver wings and red eyes. Printed in red Game of Thrones style was "NEW SHIELD"
"At least that's better than the shirts of Jeff Rizzo." Carson Michaels noted. She was wearing one of her own merch shirts.
"Ah, crap. I have to pee."
With that, RIG walked out of the locker room to search for the restroom when he walked right into... Jack Classic, who held his hand up to stop RIG.
"Y... Yes, sir?" he asked.
"Take that shirt off."
RIG didn't even object. He just took the shirt off. Body wise, he was around James Ellsworth's level.
"Can I go to the restroom now?"
Jack nodded, prompting RIG to run to the restroom.
He didn't even give the shirt back to him, and that was one of the many Christmas gifts from Evan Neal...
2) AS AN ADDITION TO RULE 81 (BE CAREFUL WHO YOU ASK TO TUTOR A KID), MAKE SURE THEY CAN HANDLE THE STRESS
RIG could feel the aura around the room get extremely tense. He had to help a friend whose son was about to have a test on Greek mythology soon. Of course, RIG called Nyx Rosewood to help out because aside from music, high flying ala Neville and AJ Styles, and seducing women while maintaining her marriage at the same time, she was a scholar when it came to Greek mythology. There's just one problem.
The kid is just... not very good at learning.
"Hmm... Mrs Orpheus?" the kid asked Nyx, who groaned for the umpteenth time.
"It's Eurydice. Orpheus's wife's name is Eurydice." she said nonchalantly. "He tried to save her from the Underworld after her untimely death. Okay, now for a simple question: who is the eldest of the elder Olympians, who were born to the Titan King Kronos?"
"Zeus, the king god!" the kid spoke firmly.
Nyx's head fell on the table with a loud thud. She groaned once more, saying, "The oldest is Hestia. Zeus was the youngest of the elder Olympians."
"But... Hestia is pretty weak compared to Zeus." the kid pointed out.
RIG watched his once great plan completely backfire as Carson Michaels walked up to him.
"What's happening?" she asked him.
"I've made a very, very terrible mistake." RIG mumbled.
3) IF ZACH GREY IS OFFERING TO BE A VALET, JUST TELL HIM NO (Rule 44)
"Has anyone heard any word my minivan?" RIG asked King Caesar.
"Nah, man." the King of Beasts replied, eyes on his phone. "Why you askin?"
"Zach Grey went out with it again."
"Dude, you gotta stop saying yes to him whenever he asks if he can look after your car."
"But who else was there to watch my car?"
"I've heard that before."
Meanwhile, Zach Grey came back to the arena parking lot, not in RIG's minivan, but in a pizza delivery motorcycle, a really, really, damaged one. He stepped off the motorcycle and went back to the arena, only for someone to rush over to the motorcycle like it was an injured baby.
"No! Hestia, what have they done to you?!" Nyx screamed out in anguish as Furno Moxley and Carson Michaels looked at her weirdly.
4) NO MORE SUGGESTING BIKINI CONTESTS (OR ANYTHING CLOSE TO AND INCLUDING NUDITY) (Rule 73)
Pervert Intern, one fateful day, stormed up to Evan Neal's office with a really, really terrible idea that will be the reckoning of him. He entered the office to see the King of Trolls conversing with Furno Moxley.
"Mr. Neal! I have a great idea!" he proclaimed. The two men looked at him weirdly.
"What now, Pervert Intern?" Evan asked, clearly annoyed. "Was that replica of the Divas Championship I gave you for Christmas not enough to satisfy your wet dreams?"
"It will be the one idea that will bring the WFA to new heights!"
"Just tell us what the actual fuck you're talking about." the impatient lunatic demanded.
"I say... we... GET THE WOMEN TO POSE NUDE!"
Evan and Furno both has blank looks on their faces, but Pervert Intern still had that idiotic grin on his faces. He was probably thinking the TDW GM and the ICW Demolition Champion were now imagining their respective wives nude. Someone could hear actual cricket noises as time passed by.
Meanwhile, outside the office...
RIG and Carson Michaels were chatting, walking, and talking about stuff.
"I take it you've never been on dates before." HBC pointed out.
"Yep. That's why I really really need your help." RIG moaned in anguish. "I don't even know what girls like."
*CRASH* *BAM* *BOOM* *MEOW!* *Wilhelm Scream*
The two heard loud noises from Evan's office. Worried, RIG and Carson slowly walked to the door... before out came a broken, bloody, and beaten Pervert Intern. Walking out of the office were Furno, Raptor Reigns, and Aiden Black, the latter two had been standing beside the door a while ago. The lunatic was holding Barbie.
"You're officially banned from Mr Neal's office." he snarled.
Pervert Intern ran for the hills, screaming like a banshee, leaving the other two to look at the three men in black.
"WHAT ARE YOU TWO LOOKING AT?!" Furno screamed at them. RIG and Carson did nothing but quickly walk away.
5) GIRLS KISS GIRLS BY PITTSBURGH SLIM IS OFFICIALLY BANNED (Rule 56)
"I like when girls kiss girls... ain't that right?"
The women in the WFA could no longer stand the same song that has been constantly playing the moment they got in the arena.
"Nyx, did you do this?" Carson asked her cousin.
"Nope." Nyx answered, not even paying attention as she was reading The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan.
"Okay..." Brianna Kelly started. "-you know what, I'm just going to go tell someone about this."
She stood up and went outside the women's locker room to do something about the song. Then, she sees Pervert Intern with a two big and loud speakers connected to his phone. The song appeared to be coming from the speakers which means...
"PERVERT INTERN!"
And so Pervert Intern ran for the hills... again.
And so continues "The Ridiculous Adventures of RIG" starring "The Living Punching Bag" Pervert Intern