Boys,
There aren't words. I did what I had to do. Dean, you saved me and I had the chance to do the same for you.
I can't apologize for saving you from something you didn't deserve.
I will contact you at the beginning of May.
No sooner.
If you haven't heard from me by then, please accept it and move on with your lives.
You boys have to get used to the fact that at the most important crossroads in our lives, there are no signs. I love you both dearly. You are such beautiful souls. Don't ever lose that.
I hate to leave it all, I hate to leave very much, but I hope I have done some good. The world is a beautiful place and worth fighting for.
Riley Ann
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"What the hell does this mean?" Dean handed the paper to his brother. Sam studied it for a moment. "May? Why May?" Hazel met green and Dean closed his eyes, the wrinkle between his brows getting more prominent.
"Dean?" Sam spoke, his mind getting to the why part faster than his brother. "May is four months from now... it took you about four months to feel the full affects..." Castiel closed his eyes for a few seconds, the meaning behind her words sinking in.
"Fuck." Dean whispered, feeling the sting of tears. "She didn't have to do this, Sam."
"You saved her?" The younger man asked carefully. "What does that mean?" Dean gave Sam a pointed look and suddenly, the younger man understood. Sam handed the note from Riley to Castiel, who looked over it as well.
"Sam? Where the hell'd she go?" Dean's voice was strained.
"I have no idea." He looked at the letter again, scanning it. "She's as paranoid and crytpic as Bobby was."
Dean sniffled and took the letter back from Castiel, flipping it over. "So we got nothin'." He sounded upset. "She's gone and so is the Mark..." Green met hazel again. "Did she say anything, Cas? Anything we could use to find her?" Dean got up and started to pace the bedroom floor. He expected an immediate location of the brunette from his friend but was instead met with silence.
"Cas?" Both boys spoke simultaneously and the angel frowned, looking defeated himself.
"I cannot find her."
Sam squeezed his eyes shut, suddenly remembering something from months ago, when he and Riley had come back from their little road trip. "She's warded, you guys."
"How is she warded against Cas?" Dean stopped his angry pacing, looking at the items in the bowl on her dresser before his gaze moved back to his brother. "Sam."
"When we came back from her hometown a few months before you..." Died. "She had all these questions... the day before we went to meet with Metatron, she was asking me all about the angels."
"Aren't all angels good?" The innocence in her question made Sam smile.
"No." There was so much more behind his words.
"So... what happens if they attack you?"
"You banish them away temporarily with a spell."
"Like how exactly?" He gave her a look. "I might need to know, Sam. Show me." He pulled a notebook towards him and opened it to scrawl on the margin.
"Has to be done with blood."
"My blood?"
"Yeah. You draw that symbol on a surface and slap your hand in the middle with your own blood to banish them. Gives you a good five minute head start, at least."
"So they aren't all good like Castiel?"
"Unfortunately not."
"Can we be protected from them with like a charm or something?"
"Like our demon tats?" Riley nodded. "Yeah." Sam drew another symbol. "This one. We don't use it other than to draw on walls when we're not here. Then they can't sense us or get inside. Makes ya invisible like." Riley nodded, eyeing the two things he'd drawn.
"I always read angels were good and just."
"That's not the case."
"I told her about the sigil to banish any bad angels, I showed her how to draw the warding on the wall." Sam closed his eyes, his jaw working. "She's been planning this, you guys. For months. Fuck."
"She fucking drew it on herself." Dean realized in horror. "Then she can literally go anywhere without us knowing." The trio was quiet. "We gotta find her."
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The three men had unanimously agreed that Riley would take off and head to Bobby's house and once in the car, Castiel spoke. "She disclosed to me that she wanted to remove the Mark from you, Dean." His confession in the dark car felt immense and both boys were shocked. "She'd been researching a spell and gathering items..."
He glanced in the rearview mirror at the distraught angel. "And you didn't tell me because...?"
Castiel looked out the window, avoiding Dean's deadly glare. "She had asked me not to tell you." An angry fist was pressed against Dean's mouth, not wanting to explode on Cas knowing he didn't deserve how angry he felt at that very moment. Sam watched his brother take a deep breath to calm himself before he lost what little self control he had left.
"Alright..." Pause. "Anything else you wanna share with the class, Cas?" Sarcasm was thick in his tone.
"She was exposed to blood as an infant... she didn't want to tell you, Sam."
Sam twisted in his seat in shock, his eyes wide in the dark car, not sure if he wanted to hear the rest. "What kind of blood?"
Castiel sighed deeply. "Blood from a man who was called most holy. Her mother did not know her father did this... it was done in the same way you were exposed to demon blood as an infant, Sam." Sam swallowed the lump in his throat and his gaze fell on his brother again. "The letter her father left her... told her everything." Dean's white knuckle grip on the wheel showed his hurt.
His guilt.
His anger.
"She never bothered to to mention this to us?" Dean was beyond pissed. "Never thought to say hey, by the way, my blood has holy properties?"
"That's why..." Sam murmured softly, putting the pieces together in the front seat. "Riley's blood took the edge off the Mark... every time her blood was quite literally on your hands, it calmed the darkness inside you." His eyes moved to his brother's across the bench seat, the realization sinking in. "Her blood was on your hands when you called me to come get you guys at the hotel a couple weeks ago. That's why you just gave in and let us take you home without a fight so we could cure you."
Dean was still reeling from the angel's quiet confession. He vividly remembered the only three times when the Mark was on his arm and how the fury that bubbled inside his soul was inexplicably and immediately subdued.
The first, when she'd self harmed in the bunker bathroom before he'd taken her out for ice cream and a heart to heart.
The second, when Riley had gotten hurt on the hunt she'd gone on with the boys and he'd cleaned and patched her knee in the motel room.
The third, when she'd tried to end everything after Dean had forcefully taken her from the safety of the bunker in attempt to draw out his brother.
"So this whole time, Riley's blood could have helped? Why the hell didn't you tell us that from the get-go, Cas? What happens when she dies... what happens then?" Dean's voice was wrecked at this point. "She turns into an angel?" There was obvious distaste in his tone. "Won't that be fuckin' awesome."
"I do not know." Cas was quieter now. "Dean, Sam, I apologize. I tried to tell you she could be of help to you concerning the Mark, but you did not want to listen. I should have come to you and insisted-,"
"You're damn right you should have, Cas. Son of a bitch." The heel of his hand hit the wheel again. "Riley's out there alone with that fuckin' Mark on her and she's..." His voice broke as he remembered the way it felt when he was spiraling out of control and the Mark was threatening to take over in every way that made him good.
Sam's hand shot out to grip the dashboard when Dean pulled over suddenly to the bumpy shoulder and threw Baby into park. He unbuckled his seatbelt before shoving the driver's side door open. Dean got out, stalking around towards the tailgate, leaving his door wide open.
"Is he going to shoot me?" Castiel leaned forward to speak to Sam.
Before Sam could reply, the passenger side door was wrenched open. "Get out. You're driving. I can't." Sam unbuckled his seatbelt and got out and Dean slid into the passenger seat and slouched down, his hand over his mouth. Sam closed the door before jogging around the front of the car and got in, pulling the driver's side door closed.
"If something happens to Riley, I swear Cas, I'll never forgive myself." Dean's voice was choked and his shoulders were tense.
"We'll find her Dean." Sam's comforting voice from his left made his eyes close and he snapped his seatbelt, closing his eyes as he focused on the familiar feel of the pavement under the tires as they headed to Souix Falls to Bobby's house, hoping against all hope that's where Riley had gone.
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The night wind breezed in through the truck windows where she'd rolled them down a couple of inches. Her brown hair would be a tangled mess when she arrived at her destination, but Riley didn't care. The cool evening air felt good against her too hot skin. The map next to her hip fluttered in the circulating air and she put her cell phone atop it to stop the movement. She'd read over the directions dozens of times over the last couple of months, the roads nearly ingrained to her memory.
Her left elbow was propped against the driver's side window, the backs of her knuckles against her lips to prevent the sobs she was holding back from escaping. Her right hand was on the steering wheel, her thumb drumming nervous rhythm against it as she drove into the night. Omaha was her destination and she would be there around midnight to check into a motel for a few hours.
Tears stung her eyes and regret flooded her heart as she imagined Dean waking up in her bedroom when Sam came back and them finding her gone. Yes, she'd betrayed him and she suddenly remembered another part of Bobby's letter.
Sometimes you have to do a little bad, to do a whole lotta good.
Damned if that wasn't the truth, she thought bitterly.
Song after song played on her slightly static-y radio, each one provoking a different memory. Riley didn't even realize she was crying until she pulled into the two pump gas station two hours later to use the bathroom and fuel up.
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A/N:
Hello lovelies!
So a bunch of information has come to light here. I hope I nailed the foreshadowing from Sam and Riley's conversation in chapter 16 (the flashback), Bobby's words of wisdom and the three times Dean had Riley's blood on his hands and the way it made him feel.
Castiel told them twice before in the earlier chapters that Riley could be of help to them, but they didn't want to involve her other than researching.
Jloh217, unsigned guest and EmilyAnnMcGarrett-Winchester- thank you guys for your reviews on the last chapter!
Let me know what you thought.
CitrineMama